Charlize Theron vs. Tricia Helfer (lightwt) by Simguy 10-3-08

Fighters cordial - even sharing Angie Harmon anecdotes during a photoshoot lull - but they're all business at the podium.

"Charlize is really the summit of this sport for me," Tricia admits in prefight. "There's the title, which I want, but I'm just like any other lightweight: I want to leave my mark on Charlize. She's one of the all time greats - you're making history every time you fight her - so it's always a special thrill. We've read and re-read the Cat Bell pamphlet on the subject of beating Charlize - I will attack the body on her - but I'm also just going to fight my fight. Even though it's a huge event, I still have to approach her like I would any other girl."

Theron sporting ‘Italian Job’ tanktop looks during prefight conferences - looking strong and sporty. "I like Helfer and respect her - something you don't always hear me say," CT pauses for press-corps chuckling to subside. "We're both unexpected in a way: I'm better technically than a lot of people give me credit for; she's stronger and more durable than most people think - so we've both got a lot of balance. Here's the thing though: I'm VERY territorial (smiles). Tricia's a tall, leggy blonde stunner, and you guys KNOW that I don't share that particular spotlight with anybody. I'm very stingy with this kind of fighter: it's gonna be hard for Tricia to win a round, much less the fight."

Helfer in metallic baby blue bikini; white gloves; platinum locks. Theron in festive pink/white beach bikini (perhaps K&G could post reference for us again); white gloves.

Round 1: Tricia slinking into position - extending the left atop CT's right, stepping in, carrying the right hand succulent to Theron's belly; fitting the left in flat behind CT's right elbow; tying up. Theron shrugging her way clear, but staying close - her chin out over Helfer's left shoulder while lifting lanky lefts and rights thick to Tricia's middle. Helfer grunting at the heft, laying in there shoulder to shoulder - she answers back digging - fitting left uppercuts again and again to Theron's flat tummy. Minute mark - Helfer slides out to regroup: Theron steps-with, lashes her a wide, sidearm hook, shocking Tricia to chin. Helfer still wide-eyed and buzzed when CT's follow-up right hand crashes home - swivelling platinum noggin, buckling tanned legs and SCATTERING HELFER TO ALL FOURS! Tricia panting, badly stunned - she guts herself on up, but she's swaying shabby at the ropes. CT wades in after the ‘eight’ - crouching, stepping in close, carrying that right hand deep to the Helfer breadbasket. Tricia groans/grimaces - ties up around Theron's elbows - Charlize writhing in the grasp, getting her body on Helfer, being the big blonde in there. Smearing tummy to tummy assault administered - Charlize content to smother-and-slug - pressing Tricia against ropes as necessary.

Round 2: Helfer sliding to her right - just pawing out the left hand, letting it dangle at her side - looking to bait Charlize inside. Theron not biting - jabbing at Helfer's left shoulder - then quick-cuffing hooks to Helfer's left breast, trying to get her to open-stance. Minute mark - Tricia steps in with that low-slung, sleek right hand to the pit of Theron's belly: long blondes in there chins-on-shoulders, lapping it up underneath. Supple, lanky trade downstairs - girls leaning in, palming each other's hips back, then lavishing tummies and ribs CHUP! CHUP! CHUP! Theron heavier handed - beginning to walk Helfer around as Tricia insists on grinding it out. Midway through - Helfer steps out: CT anticipates, steps-with, clouts that wide hook again - swiveling Helfer's head: TRICIA'S SHOOK! Helfer wide-eyed, stomping back on her heels: she hits ropes, goes into supple pocket defence with face-in-gloves, elbows in. Theron steps-to, slops on the harm: Charlize STRAPPING away at the flanks, beating Tricia without mercy at the ropes. Helfer bending at the waist - twisting side to side - laying back in ropes: long body tightly covered up, but getting drummed as Theron lays on thick coats of shellack. Sickening sound of Charlize's heavy mitts bouncing off Tricia's willowy body fills the ring: Theron baring her teeth, popping her hips and getting legs/back in behind every withering stroke. Awful to watch: lissome Trish twisting and turning under thudding licks - tipping into ropes at times for support. Bell: Tricia's face tear-stained as her hands lower - she's rickety to her stool, legs trembling.

Round 3: Theron quick atop her blonde - sensing Tricia's distress. Charlize reaching in under Helfer's arms, bodying her big to ropes: Theron suppressing the sorceress' usual tricks with sheer tummy-on-tummy pressure. Theron laying her chin out over Tricia's left shoulder - pushing Tricia's hips back: CT hoisting in the harm, shrugging her shoulders as she lifts in thick lefts and rights. Poor Trish! Helfer gurgling, face distraught: she tries reaching 'round Charlize' body, but Theron keeps slamming away, attacking ribs around Tricia's outstretched arms. Charlize won't be clinched - she wriggles her elbows down inside Helfer's body-clinch, regaining position inside, getting back to work. Theron using her left shoulder and leaning into Trish to control her: beefy, welterweight tactics serving Charlize very well as sleek Trish can't get off ropes. Oh, the thumping! Theron just in there close - aggressively controlling Trish with shoulder and hands - reducing her with steady body-shellack. Tricia's face pinched in agony - it's all too much: Helfer absorbs a fearful beating - easily her worst since Harmon's numbing body attack. Tricia finally wilting to her knees as CT steps back panting, hands on hips. IT'S OVER! Tricia hugging her ribs, sits back on her haunches, head tilting back to reveal pain-cramped face - she's unable to coax life back into her legs. KO3 in thudding fashion - Charlize Theron!

After: Theron a shockingly early winner in a fight most assumed would go ten. Helfer bodied out of her game, never able to impose her will in this one. Tricia downcast, but exchanging a congratulatory hug with Theron in the aftermath. Charlize magnanimous in victory. "Leggy blondes," Charlize grins, shaking her head, "What can I say? I won't tolerate them in my house. She was looking to my body, so it was relatively easy to exchange with her - which was nice. And we noticed in a lot of fights that when she withdraws, she keeps her hands down. She normally gets away with that because of her good length - but I always made sure I stepped with her and hit her on the way out, and I was able to really catch her tasty as a result. You know - I just got her out of her game, got my body on her, and used her up. That's what makes me so dangerous at lightweight: I can beat you big, or I can beat you cute - whatever."

Helfer gracious enough to offer some on-camera comments in defeat. "She was just too strong tonight," a chagrined beauty shrugs, face still betraying the agony of those ribs. "When Padma hurt me - I was able to ride it out - but I just couldn't breathe with Charlize on top of me. I know I can do better against her, and I will - but it won't be chest-to-chest like it was tonight!"