If you are citizen of an European Union member nation, you may not use this service unless you are at least 16 years old.
You already know Dokkio is an AI-powered assistant to organize & manage your digital files & messages. Very soon, Dokkio will support Outlook as well as One Drive. Check it out today!

3 September 2010 Jessica Alba vs Lindsay Lohan

Page history last edited by Archer844 13 years, 7 months ago

"Machete"Premier Night Fighting

Posted by simguy on 9/3/2010, 7:14 pm,

BEFORE: Long, tense shoot on MACHETE culminates in premiere-night fight between the movie's two starlets: Jessica can't wait to shred Lindsay. "She was horrible to work with," Alba contends, "and a total chicken. I thought 'great - Lindsay's here, we'll have good sparring, keep ourselves sharp' but she'd always have some dumb excuse why she couldn't go. The only thing we did - she wanted to work on her knees, so we clinch-up, and one knee to the belly had her bawling! I can't wait to knock this tramp OUT!" Lohan with a different recollection of events. "Jess was a total princess on-set," Linds reports, "everyone hated her. I'd knock on her trailer and go, 'c'mon, let's spar,' and she'd have SECURITY escort me away - without even coming out of her freaking cave! Everyone knows she's the most over-rated starlet on earth and I can't wait to expose her on Premiere night. It's gonna be a huge come-back for me: I'm gonna batter Jess AND steal the summer away from Scarlett, Megs and those other cows!" Bikini's multi-coloured, hard to describe - best follow the links...

Lindsay's bikini/hair: http://www.gossipcenter.com/lindsay-lohan/photo/lindsay-lohan-4789

Jessica's bikini/hair: http://www.hollywoodtuna.com/photo.php?id=jessica_alba_new_bikini_hot&title=Jessica%20Alba%20Bikini%20Pictures&loc=3

Small white gloves, both battlers.

During R1: Jessica out slinky-smooth - loping the ring - left hand at waist/slight chickenwing bend to left elbow, right at her chest: weight's on her right (back) leg as she slides around, rolling her left shoulder all sexy. Lindsay hopping in stance, dukes up, elbows in. Jess the aggressor early - stooping to reach flirty jabs in on Lindsay's tummy; swatting out quick left hooks/crisp right hands, then extending chickenwing left elbow to push Lindsay off. Jessica throwing an oily-smooth right hand lead off her shoulder as well - clouting Linds across her mouth, then drifting her a similar elastic-limbed straight left chaser. Lohan embarrassed for two minutes, face-pasted: Jessica too sleek, too swift, darting in and out, taking what she wants. Down the stretch, little head-dip-and-rip right uppercut finally catches Jess as she's loading up a whippy sidearm right: she's startled, stepping in fence post holes. Linds reloads, bends into a gorgeous, drifting right: Jessi's head torques hard-right (eyebrows arched high, eyes closed, lips parted in shock) so hard her ponytail whap-whaps side to side, hitting herself on either cheek. ALBA GOES DOWN! Wobbling backpedal, then Jessi sits out of it on numb buttocks: Lohan smacking mitts together, then blowing a kiss at panting Jess with a wicked little grin.

R2: Linds all perky, happiest she's been in ages: she bounds across the ring all puppies and ponytails. Jess scowling, but she's got her legs back: she lopes to her right, easily sidestepping Linds to open up the ring. Lohan mounting stomping rushes - jugs a-jumpin' frisky as she seeks to close and bang: she's easy to pick off with jabs to face, or kissing right hands swept across rack as Jess potshots, then withdraws. By second minute, Jess has things under control - using the chickenwing left elbow to steer Lohan...girls rotating in gentle clockwise wheel. Final minute, Lohan storming forward, loops a wide right just as Jessi's stepping with a short right uppercut: Lohan's punch wraps round Alba's tanned shoulders; Jessi's punch crunches chin-tip...DOWN GOES LOHAN! Lindsay shunted to her right and dropped to all fours by sudden impact...she's a rickety young foal trying to stand, reeling face-first into ropes for 8. ON COMES JESSICA! Alba snarling, eyes feral - she unleashes a limber lather of lefts and rights, punching Lohan into a desperation crossed-wrist defence at her forehead. Jess alters trajectory if not intensity, whacking vicious sidearm right hands across Lohan's tummy - strapping her like she's hitting Linds with a rubber hose. Lohan gurgling, twisting her left side into ropes, covering her face...Jess up on the tippy toes of her right foot, weight on the left as she leans in with left hand stable on Lohan's right hip, dropping short, choppy little right hands to Lohan's ear. Jess pursing lips, pounding away on poor Linds, then switching up to loop right hands up underneath, clapping at Lohan's breasts, or punching into her mouth as guard loosens. Lohan falling apart, cowering on her side at ropes...ref lets Jess have her innings, then moves in to cradle shuddering Lindsay to safety. TKO2 in barbaric fashion - Jessica Alba.

After: Jess shakes off an embarrassing knockdown to overwhelm her smaller foe: Linds actually gambling a lot in this fight in a bid to get back into contention, giving up size, strength, speed to limber Alba. "She's a punk, just like I always said," says Alba in postfight, nursing a nice little mouse on left cheek. "I only wish the ref had given me more time...I was choppin' at her pretty good and I know she would've gone down with just a few more hits. Looks like I came back to steal the summer boys: who put on a better show than me? Scarlett? Zoe? Nuh-uh, I don't think so. OH: and I wanted to say a special hello to Nicole Scherzinger...good thing your guys're babying you, or that could have been you tonight!"