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30 June 2019 Ariel Winter vs Kirsten Dunst

Page history last edited by caspian2 4 years, 3 months ago

Posted by HBO's Boxing At The Asylum on Jul 1, 2019 at 8:04am

BEFORE:

"Last time I was here," says Kirsten with the hint of a smile, "I gave Stewart all she wanted. Tonight? I've got a girl who's not as good as Stewart. Guess how that's gonna go for her?"

"The question tonight," says a hard-eyed Ariel, "Isn't whether or not I'm better than Stewart...and I AM. It's whether I'm better than Kirsten Dunst. And, SHE is not going to like the answer to that question."

ROUND ONE:

O'Dell: "Back at ringside and that's 'The Girl Inside', and the singer of that song, the lovely Kirsten Dunst of 'Spiderman' is on her way to the ring."

McCarthy: "This girl had a nice little run a few years back...then her stable folded and she's been in the wilderness since. But, she's beaten people, including Portman. She can beat THIS Dancing Hooker!"

O'Dell: "Kirsten into the ring and helped off with the robe, and she's looking primed for action in that black bikini. And, that's 'I Knew You Were Trouble', but what you're hearing isn't the Taylor Swift version. It's the cover version by the young lady coming to ringside right now, Ariel 'Dangerous Curves' Winter..."

Cassie: "And, we keep talking about this, but only because it continues to be very relevant. Winter is, right now, still working to nail down a spot on Front Street's Tenth Anniversary roster...and a slip up tonight would NOT be helpful in that effort..."

O'Dell: "Winter into the ring and helped off with the robe by Jewel and Neve. And, she's wearing that curve-hugging white number we've seen before. Ladies about ready to go. Time for some picks. Tess likes Ariel. Mac?"

McCarthy: "As I said, Dunst can HANDLE this Dancing Hooker! Kirsten!"

O'Dell: "Cassie?"

Cassie: "I agree with Tess!"

O'Dell: "Another split panel, so, somebody's got to be right. And, Kirsten trying to make Mac look like a genius early on, snapping out that long jab and landing it, keeping the shorter woman at bay. We've just seen this dynamic, with a much-taller fighter wanting to work at range, Mac..."

McCarthy: "And, this went into my extensive calculations in deciding to pick Dunst."

Cassie: "Hang on, BFF, I'll pick up your eyes. They fell out from you rolling them so hard..."

O'Dell: "Dunst really getting going now. Blonde is stopping the brunette with the jab, holding her in place, then landing follow on right hands that are plenty hard and plenty accurate. Winter can't get out of first gear at the moment, and, while she's near to stalling, the blonde is piling up the points."

Tess: "Ariel's got to find a way to deal with that jab, and quickly."

O'Dell: "Not going to happen in the first, though, because we're under fifteen seconds and Kirsten is still rolling. Blonde another good combination. Brunette covers up. Five seconds to go. Nice flurry by Dunst, and there's the bell. Not close at all. Kirsten has the 10-9 lead."

ROUND TWO:

O'Dell: "Same again here in the second. Dunst using that length to keep Winter at bay. Ariel tucking the head now, bobbing and weaving, using the feet more, working forward, getting inside, working some body. But, the blonde quickly ties up, shoves off, gets the range again."

McCarthy: "Good, veteran stuff from Dunst. She might have made it right to the top of this division if her management hadn't fallen apart."

O'Dell: "She certainly had a nice run going, no question of that. Nice combination, Kirsten, as Winter again works forward, slips inside, bangs the body. Blonde again tying, wrapping up this time. Forcing the ref to step in to break the fighters apart. And, again, Dunst has the distance she wants."

Cassie: "Kirsten has a very good plan in place here, Jenny."

O'Dell: "No doubt about it. Definitely borrowing liberally from 'The Winter Rules' put together by HISC. Ariel slips forward again, gets tummy to tummy and bangs away at the ribs, but Kirsten again tying up as the referee steps in to break the pair at the bell. Closer that time. But. Dunst."

Tess: "And, the blonde is up 20-18 after two."

ROUND THREE:

O'Dell: "Pattern set now as we enter the third. Dunst pumping jabs at range, Winter trying to work past those defenses, get inside where she can do some damage. Blonde moving very, very well. Doesn't look 37 years old when you watch her work in the ring, Mac..."

McCarthy: "Say it every month. Nothin' but a number."

O'Dell: "Kirsten a nice combination. Stops the brunette in her tracks. Dunst circles, sets, waits for Ariel to angle forward again. Kirsten having the better of it for a third round in a row and DOWN SHE GOES! Winter drops Dunst with a body head combination, left to the ribs and a right to the chin!"

Tess: "No doubt, Winter has plenty of power."

O'Dell: "Ariel to a neutral corner. Dunst down on her back. Count at three. Four. Five. Kirsten sits up at six and she's to her feet at seven. Ref going to give her the mandatory, and he waives on Ariel. Winter all in immediately, letting the hands go, backing Dunst into the ropes. Blonde taking a thumping as we come down the stretch. Winter body, head, body, just banging away right to the bell and there it is. Winter steals the round 10-8."

Cassie: "And evens the fight at 38."

ROUND FOUR:

O'Dell: "Winter right to work in the fourth. She's getting very physical now, backing Dunst up with hard shot upstairs. Kirsten still doesn't have the legs back, and Ariel is taking full advantage. She's getting off lusty with both hands, piling up the points and the hurt as the blonde retreats."

Cassie: "And, this was not at ALL part of Dunst's fight plan."

O'Dell: "No, in fact, this is exactly where she DOESN'T want to be against a hitter like Ariel. Winter working some body now, thumping away at ribs and tummy, punishing Dunst, then backing her up again with another flurry to the head. Kirsten playing for time here, Mac..."

McCarthy: "And, that's the right strategy. Ride this out and get back to what was working in the first two rounds."

O'Dell: "Final fifteen seconds of the fourth round. It's been all Winter all the time, but Dunst has managed to frustrate the younger woman's efforts at finding the finisher. Five seconds to go. Winter thumping body and there's the bell. It's Ariel and wide in the fourth."

Tess: "And Winter is up 48-47."

ROUND FIVE:

O'Dell: "Winter continuing the offensive in the fifth. Dunst, though, has the legs back. She's able to give a little ground, circle, create some space with that jab. Back to making Ariel work to get inside. Winter bobbing, angling, closing, working some body before Dunst ties her up."

Tess: "Winter banging free, Jenny."

O'Dell: "Just punching right out of the clinch and working that body again. Dunst shoves off, circles away, sets up behind the jab. Winter again works inside, goes body. Dunst tying up. Ariel punching free and DROPPING KIRSTEN WITH A RIGHT UPPERCUT! Oh, what a shot!"

Cassie (singing): "Turn out the ligggghhhhhttssss. The party's ohhhhhverrrrrr...."

O'Dell: "Ariel to a neutral corner. Kirsten flat on her back, eyes closed, as the referee counts down at her. Three. Four. Five. No movement at ALL from Dunst. Six. Seven. Eight. She's not just down, she is OUT. Nine. TEN! It's OVER! And your winner by KO5 is Ariel 'Dangerous Curves' Winter!"

McCarthy: "That was actually a good punch for a change..."

AFTER:

O'Dell: "Let's go up to the ring and Tess Valmore!"

Tess: "I have our winner, Ariel Winter, and, Ariel, slow start, but you got rolling..."

Ariel (nodding): "Yeah. I knew she'd try to use the reach. Took me some time to get the geometry down. But, when I did, it was a matter of time."

Tess: "The big story around here is..."

Ariel: "Let me stop you right there. I DESERVE to be on this roster in February. I'm the best flyweight in this stable. And, if management doesn't think so, it can watch me win titles for someone ELSE."