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30 June 2019 Zoe Saldana vs Jennette McCurdy

Page history last edited by caspian2 4 years, 2 months ago

Posted by HBO's Boxing At The Asylum on Jul 1, 2019 at 8:06am

BEFORE:

"You know," says Zoe with a shake of the head. "People forget around here. They forget how good I am. Or, maybe they remember. And, maybe that's why my phone doesn't ring. But. It rang. And, now, I'm going to be reminding some bytches."

"She's dangerous," says Jennette with a head shake of her own. "There's no question about that. But. As for any OTHER questions anybody has about how this is going to go? Well. I'm 'The Answer'."

ROUND ONE:

O'Dell: "Back at ringside and that's 'Time To Be Awesome' by the lovely brunette coming to the ring as we speak, Gamora herself, Zoe Saldana!"

McCarthy: "And, while I think Saldana OVERRATES her own talent..."

Tess: "And THERE'S something you're an expert on..."

McCarthy: "I think she's far better than the normal Dancing Hooker Opponents we see around here. Oh. And, SHUT UP, WALMART!"

O'Dell (sighing): "Drink up, boys, as Zoe climbs into the ring and is helped off with the robe to reveal a white number and a body that gets the crowd's attention, and that's 'Lust For Life' by Iggy Pop you hear hammering through this arena, and that can only mean that 'The Answer', Jennette McCurdy, is on her way to the ring..."

Cassie: "And, for the second month in a row, Jennette looking at a big fight in her quest to make Front Street's Tenth Anniversary roster..."

O'Dell: "McCurdy down the aisle and into the ring to be helped off with the robe by Jewel and Neve. McCurdy wearing that black and white striped number we've seen before, and the crowd liking what it sees. And, we're about ready to go. Time for some picks. Tess likes Jennette. Mac?"

McCarthy: "Zoe HAS FCBA wins. Saldana!"

O'Dell: "Cassie?"

Cassie: "I agree with Tess!"

O'Dell: "First split panel of the night. Let's see who's right. Saldana to the jab immediately, as you might expect. Brunette wants range here, and, with the reach advantage she's got, if she can enforce those terms, it's going to be tough for her blonde opponent."

McCarthy: "And, that's why Jennette is trying to work forward, get inside the jab."

O'Dell: "Managing to do it here and there, get to middle distances, and, when she does, she's getting her offense on. Zoe keeping those exchanges brief, giving some ground, circling, doing whatever she needs to do to enforce that distance, keep McCurdy at range."

Cassie: "Jennette just wants to keep working those feet. She can get where she needs to be."

O'Dell: "But, for the moment, at least, not nearly as often as she wants to be there. Just ten seconds to go in the first, and Saldana's had the better of things. SHARP exchange right there, and Jennette got the better of that, but it's too little, too late. There's the bell. Zoe close in the first."

Tess: "And up 10-9."

ROUND TWO:

O'Dell: "Second begins the way the first ended, with Saldana jabbing, looking to create space, and McCurdy looking to move inside that jab and work at middle distances. And, for the second consecutive round, both girls getting some, but not all of what they want, at least early on..."

Cassie: "Definitely been a tactical fight so far."

O'Dell: "No doubt about it, and both fighters seeming to be okay with playing this game, again, at least early on. McCurdy angles forward, closes and works body for the first time. Saldana ties her up, shoves her off, circles away, gets back to that jab, while Jennette again works the angles."

Tess: "As I've said, I'm not sold on McCurdy, but, there's no question that she moves well and can hit."

O'Dell: "Coming down the stretch in the second. Another competitive round. Jennette again closing and working some body. Again, the brunette ties up. This time, Zoe hangs on until the referee gets in there to force a break. Five seconds left, and there's the bell. Not a lot in it, but McCurdy's round."

McCarthy: "And, we're even at 19."

ROUND THREE:

O'Dell: "McCurdy slipping inside and working body again as we start the third. Zoe trying to tie up, but Jennette levers her, thumps the ribs and the midsection. Saldana banging back and JENNETTE LANDS A SOLID RIGHT HOOK! That got the older woman's attention, Mac!"

McCarthy: "Sure did! Zoe's not hurt, but that punch served a purpose."

O'Dell: "Did, indeed, as the brunette's now on the defensive. Jennette backing the older woman up with a nice flurry, then stepping to again and banging the ribs and midsection. Saldana clinching, hanging on. Referee will get in there to break them up, and Zoe circles away."

Tess: "McCurdy's got the geometry down now, Jenny."

O'Dell: "And, she's using that to her advantage in a big way. She's finding the openings in her rival's defenses, getting forward, banging body, then working upstairs. GOOD right from Jennette as we roll under ten seconds. Saldana ties up again. Hangs on. Ref breaks the fighters, but there's the bell. Jennette. Wide."

Cassie: "And, McCurdy has her first lead, 29-28."

ROUND FOUR:

O'Dell: "Adjustment for Saldana as we start the fourth. Zoe double-tapping that jab now, and it's having an effect. She's holding Jennette at range now, and that's making a big difference. With the blonde unable to get inside, Zoe beginning to take control in there."

McCarthy: "This is what Saldana wants. Ranged boxing."

O'Dell: "And, she's getting it and making the best of it. McCurdy not hurt, but she's getting touched up right now, as the brunette's able to get combinations built and accurate fire on target. Jennette, on the other hand, simply not able to get her offense going at all."

Cassie: "Zoe's really got the range down, too. Everything on target."

O'Dell: "It is, indeed. GOOD combination from Saldana as we head down the stretch. Zoe in rhythm, everything working just like they drew it up in the fight plan. Ten seconds left. Another solid combination from Saldana stops Jennette in her tracks and there's the bell. Zoe. And wide."

Tess: "And, we're even at 38."

ROUND FIVE:

O'Dell: "Saldana sticking with the double-tap and it continues to work. She's holding Jennette at range, landing hard right hands on the blonde. McCurdy trying to find ways forward, but not having a lot of success doing it. Instead, she's being held out on the end of her rival's punches..."

Tess: "And, with Saldana's reach advantage, that's playing."

O'Dell: "Is, indeed. Jennette now angles inside and begins working some body. Zoe ties up. McCurdy trying to punch free, levers the brunette with the shoulder and ROCKS HER WITH A RIGHT HOOK! Saldana stumbling and DOWN SHE GOES off a straight right hand from Jennette!"

Cassie: "REALLY caught her with that last one!"

O'Dell: "McCurdy to a neutral corner. Saldana down on her right side. Referee's count at three. Four. Five. Zoe rolling to her belly at six. Seven. Brunette pushing to hands and knees at eight. Nine. TEN! It's over! Saldana can't get off all fours and it's OVER and your winner by KO5 is 'The Answer', Jennette McCurdy!"

McCarthy: "Lucky punch!"

AFTER:

O'Dell: "Let's go up to the ring and Tess Valmore!"

Tess: "I have our winner, Jennette McCurdy, and, Jennette, you had some trouble with her length..."

Jennette (nodding): "She's tall for a fly and long. She's a veteran. Been around awhile. She knows how to use what she's got. But. I found a way to get her. Because, that's what I do."

O'Dell: "Obviously, the big story around here in the Tenth Anniversary roster and who's going to be on it..."

Jennette (shaking her head): "I don't worry about that. I just come to work every day and work hard. Do that, and you get results. Get results, and you don't have to worry about your roster spot."