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31 December 2004 Elisha Cuthbert vs Jewel Kilcher

Page history last edited by Archer844 14 years, 1 month ago

 

 

 

 

Posted by Simguy on 12/31/2004, 5:49 am.

 

 

Before: BLONDE! magazine hailing the bout as “long overdue”, enjoying the opportunity to showcase two blonde stalwarts and Krusher mainstays. Issue in advance of the fight has a long article breaking down the two fighters (nice posed shots of each in fighting crouches), canvassing trainers and fighters through the FCBA for opinions and fight forecasts. Consensus seems to be both girls do best when they come forward and punch through problems rather than finesse .them. Both like to theow in volume, impose will—something’s gotta give. Elisha in ivory battle bikini, Jewel in white bikini top, shads of blue splash print bottoms. Surprisingly cool stare-down: friendship checked at the door for duration of the bout.

 

 

During R1: Midring, dukes up, girls leaning in forehead to forehead a-bumpin’ and a-sluggin’. Turn-taking: both hooking hard to ribs underneath, bringing hands back quick to ncheeks, foreheads scrubbing as girls slowly rotate clockwise. Tidy little uppercuts pick up chins, robust swinging rights bite in behind elbows. Jewel steadily getting the better of it, stepping and bumping and slugging Elisha in stages to ropes. Look stays the same bell to bell—girls leaning in, swapping to ears and bodies, both absorbing tremendous punishment to bring ruin to the other.

 

 

R2: Photocopy of the first—girls immediately leaning in forehead to forehead, guards up, getting off in heavy-handed tit for tat. Hard punching from Elisha drawing appreciative whistles and cheers from the audience, but Jewel answering with beefy gusto and being the more consistent vixen. Cuthbert gets low, bumps her shoulder and turns on a savage hook to the midsection—then poses, pleased with herself, sensing the hurt in jewel. Kilcher doesn’t pose: when she hands hook to body, she’ll double up on the ear or jugs, move her  head to the right and fit a right hand up underneath as well. Result: Cuthbert backed into the ropes again and suffering down the stretch as jewel gets up into her, pushing and punching short and harmful to the bell.

 

 

R3: Cuthbert rockets of her stool, tackling Jewel and leg-driving her into her home corner. ‘Lishy squares away, sets a murderous pace Kilcher can’t contest: Jewel covers up grim, butt and back in the turnbuckles, soaking as Elisha pins her ears back, Cuthbert in with her head, pushing Jewel’s bicep out of the way, bumping and grinding with that shoulder—anything to open the offending blonde up to hurt. Punching is robust, blunt—bashing impacts against the biceps, tummy and it must be said: jugs. Elisha going after bulging Krusher jug just the way she would any other—getting in close, turning her shoulders and stuffing away, even with hard forearms against Jewel’s cushy rack. Kilcher glum, trying to fold forward but constantly getting stacked up and worked over—Elisha goes bell to bell hard on her stablemate, leaving Jewel misty eyed. Jewel gets the ol’ “Who’s trunks these?” speech in her corner: she just can’t get pancaked like that by Elisha.

 

 

R4: Jewel hard-eyed, out strong to midring, left at her cheek she clobbers Elisha three clubbing right hands on the ear to open the round, staggering ‘Lishy in a little semi circle to her right. Hooks up underneath—Jewel to Cuthbert—Elisha grunting, open mouthed, hands at her temples, looking bullied. Jewel stepping in with an outrageous shoulder butt in the chest, knocking Cuthbert back several pinwheeling steps—ref barks a warning—Jewel marches in. Cuthbert worried, walking to her right, shadowed  by a stalking Kilcher—Jewel cutting off the ring, then marauding in with overhand rights and rib-seeking hooks. ‘Lishy butt in the ropes, she’s bending forward trying to fend Jewel off with crossed arms, but Kilcher’s turned up the intensity: these are fight-winning punches she’s belting Elisha with. Payback to jug as Kilcher’s pink tongue pushes out between firm-set lips with the effort of hoisting leather up underneath. Clubbing punches across shiny Cuthbert back. “Lishy’s knees buckling, youngest Krusher whimpering audibly, pathetically has Jewel heaps home the hurt. No one punch does it, but cudgeling beatdown has Elisha drowsy with shellack—she finally drops to all fours, panting and tummy-trembling as Jewel is bodied back. Cuthbert up at 10, but ref doesn’t like what he sees—official cradles sobbing Elisha and waves this thing off—TKO4 Jewel Kilcher.

 

 

After: Hard feelings in the aftermath—Jewel didn’t like that jug mugging one bit in the third, roared out in the fourth and exacted a fearful retribution. Cuthbert bludgeoned to her knees, really used up—brutal 4 rounder what happens when walk-in blondes meet noggin to noggin and refuse to negotiate.

 

 

Reposted by Archer 2/3/10.

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