Charlize Theron vs. Vicky Pratt (I) (Final of Krushers/ Ultimate Stable War) by simguy 7-31-04

If a genetic engineering lab somewhere turned out the perfect physical machine for fighting Charlize Theron - many people think that machine would look a lot like Vicki Pratt - but Janet Jones isn't one of them.

"We feel that Victoria is the best athlete in the division - no question," says a smartly dressed Jones in prefight, "and you can't take someone like that lightly. But this whole Theron-beating nightmare Vicki's been built up to be...that's nonsense. Charlize has the height, the jab, the legs and most importantly the experience to give this runt hell."

"It'll be a christening," Charlize chips in charitably, "Until you've had your Theron beating, you're nobody. The only thing that concerns me is her physical appearance - she's a great little fighter, but when I KNOW with certainty that I own every eyeball in the room, it's hard to feel 100% competitive. A sawed-off little TV tramp doesn't exactly get my juices flowing - but I'm a pro - I'll dig down for a performance."

Vicki's cheeks burning at the use of the word 'runt' - Pratt a little sensitive about her height, surrounded by long, lean frames in the lightweight division. "I'm going to enjoy chopping her down," says Victoria. "She won't be so smug once I've touched up that overated body of hers."

Vicki in lilac sport-cut bikini, bra straps, Charlize in cream bikini.

Rd 1: Theron taken aback by the explosive speed of Pratt early - Vicki circling, shearing in from angles and detonating sudden one-twos off Charlize' chin before the taller woman can lean back. Second minute has crowd squealing in anticipation as Charlize is caught a vicious right hand on the jaw, staggers wildly back on her way to a knockdown, only to hit the ropes and somehow keep her feet. PRATT PILES IN! Vicki getting low, muscling Theron's arms to the side and digging into that ribcage LUSTY - bashing, bruising lefts and rights scorch away as groaning Theron tries to tie up. Ref's break - Charlize woozy - gets chased ropeside by another volley of brisk right hands upside the head, then Vicki squirms in close, pushing away the arms to maul that perky rack with shoulder-shrugging gusto. Bell to bell supremacy - Victoria puts a slappy look of wonder on Charlize face: Janet livid in the corner, grabbing Char by her bikini top, tugging her nose to nose and reading her the riot act.

Rd 2: Shutout Charlize. Pretty much how they drew it up: lancing jabs coupled with lateral movement to keep Pratt outside. Pratt being channelled into the counter-right uppercut - Vicki getting stung inside and out, forced to regroup time and again. Charlize nice and calm, easing to her left, managing ring and opponent like the veteran she is - Pratt a little spellbound, getting spun and rung up, looks a little disorganized as Charlize conducts traffic in the second.

Rd 3: Vicki with that quick first step, just a little contact jab to get Charlize blinking then that sudden, chopping right hand off the chin - Theron caught and staggered once again, stumbling off to her right with a woozy look of shock in her eyes. Pratt hounding Theron all around the ring - Charlize able to lope to her right, guide Pratt in with the jab, riding the left hand behind the shorter woman's neck and ringing her up a vicious right uppercut that sends PRATT reeling on numb legs. Now Theron cleans up, hopping forward and bending into a slinging right, back with the lash-hook - Vicki belted in stupor to the ropes, getting her face walloped. Pratt glassy eyed and stupified STARTS BRAWLING BACK! Vicki off the ropes with a walking barrage of swinging lefts and rights, caroming fists off Charlize' jawlines, backs the big beauty up and forcing a desperate clinch as Theron hugs up. Vicki squirming to tug her arms free - Charlize adept at pulling the shorter woman's head down and sidestepping her, runs out the clock in a very dangerous third. Both women getting ice, rubdowns in their corners - both fighters getting hit harder, more often, than either had intended.

Rd 4: Charlize hanging back, using her height, steering Vicki the jab - Pratt cooperating. Vicki's an electrifying performer, but the pattern's usually the same: a sideways gambol, sudden slash in, looking for a tidy one-two to get the ball rolling - Charlize has read the Cliff notes. Midway through, Theron running Vicki onto jabs, breaking up the rushes, gets a GLORIOUS right uppercut as Pratt falls in - picking Vicki's head up, freezing her on the spot and putting the hook on top - Pratt scattering sideways to the ropes saves herself from a knockdown. ON COMES CHARLIZE! Theron getting big girl - palming Vicki in the shoulders, hooking at her waist with a nicely arched back and cranking delivery, turning on more swinging sidearm rights to the jaw. Pratt shellacked, reaches around Theron's quivering waist: Charlize happy in her work, swinging away at the shining back and connecting against kidney with the heels and sides of her gloves. Pratt put wobbly butt - Charlize warned for pounding tender kidney meat by an enraged official. Charlize round - doubts about Pratt's chin starting to fade as she's lapped up some savage blasts from Theron through 3. During the break, Jones talking in hushed tones, Theron staring off into the ring... and Janet slaps Charlize' face! Theron open mouthed - she won the freakin' round for crying out loud!

Rd 5: Victoria adjusting, doubling up a stubby jab to close distance, showing the right hand but stepping to the right to pull a tidy hook across Theron's face instead. Charlize turns, NOW takes the right cross on her teeth and a savage, ripping left up into the solar plexus - Theron grunting, reaching to clinch and Vicki just lights her up on the inside. Furious bombardment up into Theron's jugs has her breathless - Vicki's fists rutting at Charlize' torso like hungry piglets tucking into sow's belly for sustenance. Theron ties up finally, but legs are queasy with hurt as little wolverine Pratt shows her mettle. Rest of the round is Vicki trying to fight through clinches, pushing and wrestling with Theron's arms, using her head under Charlize' chin and splitting the taller girl's guard - constant body pounding takes in tummy, ribs and those vulnerable little juglets as Pratt gets into that high tempo chugging mode, putting Charlize' svelte torso through a blender.

Rd 6: Theron open mouthed, dishelved - she looks to shabby legs and a tired jab to buy her time, but Pratt won't have it. Victoria pressing the pace - constantly peppering Charlize with jabs to prevent canny Theron from countering, then sliding in to fight off the taller woman's chest. Theron groaning, grimacing, tieing up Vicki's rock hard triceps, pulling down on her head, sidestepping, desperately trying to create some useable space. Stumbling to her right, Charlize is caught a reaching hook square in the face - she sprawls backwards into the ropes, once again keeping her feet as crowd roars - Pratt plowing in to do what she does best: dig. Inventory: left side of Charlize face shiny and swollen, eye closing; carrying her left arm across her body as she walks back to her corner where she eases painfully onto her stool with a pursed-lip wince.

Rd 7: Charlize grim faced: she gambles on a swinging sidearm right to Pratt's ribs under Vicki's jab, leans back to pull a licking hook across Vicki's face, then catches her a slinging wide right on the ear - Pratt put wobbly butt, reeling to her right - Charlize a flat-footed stalker hungry for more. Theron hands low - she's walking Pratt down then looting her breadbasket thumping hooks, crashing down with hamhanded rights over the top - Pratt getting belted and walloped all over the ring, has a haunted look in her eyes as she feels the vaunted wrath of Theron. Pratt ropeside late - taking HUGE cranking hooks on her midriff - she answers with desperate biting hooks on Charlize' bra to finally back the marauding blonde off. Explosive round ends with girls circling and eyeing each other like wounded jungle cats. Pratt busting up around the left eye and HER body's shining up rosy under Theron's hoisting body blows.

Rd 8: Cunning round of veteran boxing, Charlize. Circling footwork, luring Pratt forward - Charlize constantly measuring Vicki with the extended left, pulling down on her head, turning her. Theron shooting single right hands and immediately tieing up - strong punch n' clutch baffling Pratt's attempts to trade. Vicki can't get the right cross up top any longer, but she's able to ram it amidships, getting weight on the front foot to help her rip hooks up into Theron's abdomen before the inevitable clinch. Theron controlling the action - Pratt's opportunities limited to spot work.

Rd 9: Victoria outworks Charlize as Theron's back touches the ropes - legendary blonde looking a little worn as Pratt's fitness pacing starts to become a factor. Theron open mouthed, left hand pulling on the back of Vicki's head whenever possible, right hand wrapping up Vicki's left arm. Pratt doing well to keep her hands free and moving - shifting angle to fight off Theron's right shoulder, curling right hands into the pit of the stomach or swiping across the breasts - then swinging lefts over Theron's right shoulder to splatter loud on the jaw. Vicki pouring on the work, but can't shake Theron's legs - big blonde won't go despite absorbing a consistent beating this round. Jones in the corner: bringing Charlize around with helpful slaps - right hands sharp and tangy on the puffiness already bulging Theron's face - Charlize actually forced to cover up as Jones gets a little carried away.

Rd 10: Pratt with her back against the wall, deep breath off her stool, then hard across the ring for a blistering, hungry final round. Theron retreating behind her jab, missing a counter-right hand and leaning back against the ropes - hands up only to chest height and Vicki scores a pounding left/right across astonished Theron mug. Theron swooning to her right, gets labelled a crunching left between the eyes and CAREENS into the neutral corner, legs spastic beneath her. Pratt pouncing, staying on her girl, pushing up with head and palms to drape Theron, then POUNDING THE GUTS OUT OF POOR CHARLIZE! Theron moaning, trying to tie up, but the strength's not there - Pratt fighting her way through the clinch, then BASHING rights and lefts against the face. Theron tilting, staggering to her right, sliding along the ropes into Pratt's corner under a walking barrage of right hands from Victoria - Vicky teeth bared as she hops-to, gets off, and stays on her girl. Action in Pratt's corner more methodical - Vicki leaning in, legs stout and strong behind her as she braces Charlize' torso - then Pratt falls in with gutting hooks to dig up into the lungs. Theron shouting in pain, tugs Vicky's head forward and staggers around her - Charlize reeling, crowd screaming, air giddy with the scent of KO. Pratt HOUNDING her foe, swinging just to make contact when Theron's staggering midring, then doing the real business of punishing Charlize whenever she hits the ropes. Down the stretch - Theron all propped up, head drooping, hands groping to clinch and Vicky's digging, pushing off with her left shoulder to get room, thumping away to the waist and lungs merciless lefts and rights. Charlize tilting forward, Pratt stepping back in good order to get her punches into the tortured body or sharp across the dazed face and THERON GOES DOWN! Charlize finally spilling to all fours as Pratt skips to the side - CROWD RAISES THE ROOF with a pealing roar. Charlize battered, eyes unfocused but somehow she BEATS THE COUNT! Theron taking the shakiest of 8s, then covering up limp as Pratt pours in but it's OVER! This thing goes to the cards...comes back a one point duke...VICTORIA PRATT!

After: Charlize beaten unrecognizable, jaw agape at the announcement - order quickly unravels. Pratt (instantly dubbed 'Queen Victoria' by BLONDE! magazine) leaping into the air, then thrusting both hands out to point at Charlize in unabashed gloating, then she's shooting her fingers like six-guns at Theron. Charlize woozy, busted up, staggers forward to engage the little TV tramp - officials intervene and guide her back to her own corner where Theron and Jones promptly get into it! Ultimate girls stream squealing into the ring, forming up and high kicking: they may have lost the war, but they sunk the Krusher's flagship and that's worth celebrating. Cameras catch the meltdown in the KruZher corner: Theron calling Jones a jealous old witch; Janet scalded, plays the unforgivable 'fat and lazy' card in response - Charlize goggle eyed as if she'd just been slapped (again). They've had their spats before, but this is very cutting - string of frustrating setbacks starting to fray blonde nerves as Tractorpull scribes struggle to get their taperecorders into earshot.