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31 March 2019 Katy Perry vs Jaina Lee Ortiz

Page history last edited by caspian2 4 years, 3 months ago

Posted by HBO'S Boxing At The Asylum on Apr 1, 2019 at 8:41am

BEFORE:

"Well," says Jaina with a shake of the head, "If I'm going to jump into the FCBA, might as well do it with both feet, right? Why not a former champion in the top five? Good news is, when I BEAT her, everyone will notice!"

"She's got the physicals," says Katy with a nod. "If she can get work, she can be VERY good. But. Right now, I AM very good, and that's going to be a BIG problem for her."

ROUND ONE:

O'Dell: "Back at ringside and that's 'Battle Symphony' by Linkin Park and here comes the lovely Jaina Lee Ortiz of ABC's 'Station 19'."

McCarthy: "Blah, blah, blah, Typical Dancing Hooker opponent. Blah, blah. No FCBA wins."

Cassie: "And, again, it would be hard for Ortiz to HAVE an FCBA win, since this is her DEBUT!"

McCarthy: "And, as I have said REPEATEDLY, I had FCBA wins BEFORE my debut!"

Tess: "I just...I mean...YouTube is about to be broken permanently, right?"

O'Dell: "IF we could concentrate on the ring, where Jaina climbs in and is helped off with the robe to reveal a baby blue bikini and a body that shows off just how hard she's been working getting ready for this one. And, that's 'California Gurls' you hear behind us, and that can only mean that 'The Santa Barbara Slugger', Katy Perry is on her way to the ring..."

Cassie: "And, as Jaina points out, Katy is a Top Five lightweight. No doubt she'd like to get another shot at the belts this year. And, to do that, she needs to win tonight."

O'Dell: "Perry all business as she gets down the aisle and into the ring. Helped off with the robe by Jewel and Neve. And, she's wearing that red number the crowd always appreciates. Ladies about ready to go. Time for some picks. Tess likes Katy. Mac?"

McCarthy: "NO FCBA wins. Perry."

O'Dell: "Cassie?"

Cassie: "I agree with Tess!"

O'Dell: "Here we go. Katy wants to set up at range here, and, no surprise, because she's got the reach. Ortiz willing to box with, at least for the moment. She's angling a bit, playing the geometry to deal with that reach advantage. Both blonde and brunette showing a lot of head and foot movement at the moment..."

McCarthy: "Recon. No doubt. Plenty of feints and jab steps, too..."

O'Dell: "Jaina steps to and lands a solid combination. Perry firing back, and got a good right hand on. Ortiz backs and circles. Sets back up at range. Katy engages. Another quick exchange right there, with both fighters landing a solid right hand before it comes to an end."

Tess: "Ortiz not intimidated by Perry."

O'Dell: "And, that can be half the battle in there with a former champion who hits like Perry does. Coming down the stretch now. Ten seconds to go here in the first round. It's been closely fought. One last exchange and there's the bell. Not a lot in it, but the brunette gets the points."

Cassie: "And Jaina Lee is up 10-9."

ROUND TWO:

O'Dell: "Second begins with Perry showing some aggression. She's no longer content to stay at range and box. Instead, the blonde want to get physical. She's stepping to Jaina Lee, banging some body, then working upstairs. Ortiz plenty sturdy, and she's willing to fight on these terms..."

Cassie: "Might not be the best of ideas..."

O'Dell: "There's definitely some danger involved in banging with a girl who has Katy's power. But, obviously, Ortiz without a lot to lose in a situation like this. There's a SHARP right hand from Perry and that got the brunette's attention. Jaina doesn't punk, though. She fires back HARD and backs up Katy!"

McCarthy: "I LIKE this kid. She's not going to get bullied in there."

O'Dell: "She absolutely is NOT. We're into the final thirty seconds of the round, and it's a very closely run thing. Perry a SOLID combination and ORTIZ FIRES RIGHT BACK! Crowd LOVING the action as blonde and brunette trade ANOTHER set of bombs at the bell! Close. Jaina."

Tess: "And, Ortiz is up 20-18 after two."

ROUND THREE:

O'Dell: "Third begins with more physicality. Perry determined to impose will on Ortiz, and Jaina not HAVING it. Brunette firing back hard, giving as good as she gets in there and GETTING STAGGERED BY A LEFT HOOK! Ortiz is HURT after a BRUTAL left from Perry..."

Cassie: "Like I said, not the best of ideas..."

O'Dell: "Katy now getting to work. She's backing up the brunette with hard shot to the head. Not getting sloppy or even going all in. Instead, the blonde taking her time, setting up big right hands with hard, accurate jabs. Ortiz keeping the guard high, jabbing back here and there..."

Tess: "And, she's backed to the ropes. ALSO not a good thing..."

O'Dell: "It is NOT. Perry to work on the body now, hooking ribs and midsection, then going back upstairs. She lands a HARD right to the chin that snaps back Jaina's head. Referee looking in closely now, but we're under ten seconds. One last flurry from Katy and there's the bell. Perry. Wide."

McCarthy: "But, Ortiz is still up 29-28."

ROUND FOUR:

O'Dell: "Perry back to work in the fourth. She's coming forward behind the left jab, backing up the brunette with hard right hands. Ortiz conducting a fighting retreat, firing back in spots. She seems to have shaken the worst of the damage from the last round, but she's still unable to hold canvas..."

Tess: "Which is not easy to do against Perry in any case..."

O'Dell: "It definitely is not, but Jaina's giving it the old college try. Perry, meanwhile, sitting down on punches, looking to ratchet up the power. Ortiz taking some heavy shots, but she's still on her feet UNTIL SHE'S NOT! DOWN GOES JAINA after a SMASHING straight right hand..."

Cassie (singing): "Turn out the liiiiggghhhhtttss. The party's ohhhhvvverrrrrr..."

O'Dell: "Ortiz flat on her back, eyes closed as Perry heads to a neutral corner. Referee's count at three. Four. Five. And Cassie may be right. He may be able to count all night. Seven. Eight. No movement from Ortiz. Nine. TEN! It's OVER! And your winner by KO4 is 'The Santa Barbara Slugger', Katy Perry!"

McCarthy: "Let me say it again. Lucky punch!"

AFTER:

O'Dell: "Let's go up to the ring and Tess Valmore!"

Tess: "I have our winner, Katy Perry, and, Katy, that got physical..."

Katy (smiling): "Sure did. JUST the way I like it. If girls want to bang with me, we'll do that ALL night. Well, I will. THEY won't."

Tess: "We've talked a lot about the fact that this is an evaluation year for Front Street. I suspect YOU probably aren't sweating it..."

Katy: "Hey, around here, you get what you EARN. And, you'd better keep working and keep earning. I have no problem with that."