Posted by simguy on 10/31/2008

Before: Plenty of tank-top to tank-top confrontations as proud blondes face off - Aniston proving stoic in the face of McCarthy bluster. "Everyone knows Jaime Pressly ducked me to avoid the beating of her career," Jenny crows. "Am I pissed? Believe it. Is Aniston going to pay for that? 'Fraid so!" Aniston jumping at the sudden PPV opening: might be short notice, but Jen's always in shape and ready to rock. "McCarthy's tough, but she's erratic, and I think my discipline will shut her down," Aniston confides at the mic. "The credibility is important to me - more important than Jenny's credentials as a celebrity. Beating her puts me in the front rank of bantam contenders, and that's where I should be." Jenny in metallic blue bikini with boy leg; small white gloves. Aniston in white sports bra; snug teal bottoms with white polka dots; small white gloves.

During R1: MAC GOES RACK! Aniston just off her stool, still thinking about how hot she is, wondering if Brad bought the PPV: she's immediately pancaked into her corner turnbuckles. Jenny ties up Aniston's right arm in both of hers, puts right shoulder into Jennifer, blocks her tuff against 'buckles to soften her up. Aniston winded, shocked - Jenny's up in there - chugging furiously to a jam-packed sports bra, pumping the air out of a stunned JA. Aniston ragdolled - she rallies, tries to bull her way out, but Mac won't have it. Jenny again controlling Aniston's right arm, putting right shoulder into chest and SLAMMING her to turnbuckles: Jennifer's head whiplashing back and forth as she's all jacked up. BODY BLOWS! Jenny lowering her head, pumping amidships: Aniston's pert buttocks jump up onto turnbuckles as she pitches forward, groaning in agony. Jmac reaches in, chests up to stack Jennifer upright: MAC GOES RACK! Thudding eruption of lefts and rights bunching up the meat, pounding that bra up and down - Aniston floundering, unable to get traction. Pair of right hands tuck deep to flat Aniston midsection - then Jenny stacks Jennifer upright and SMITES HER FACE! Right cross to chin - followed by left: Mac bracing Aniston with one hand in the chest while drifting her the other. ANISTON'S SWOONING! Feverish attack pouring through Jennifer's defences - supple blonde offered no chance to freewheel out in space - Mac gambling and staking ALL on one mad pass. Rights and lefts, RIGHTS AND LEFTS! Jenny just leaning in with one hand pushed against Aniston's chest while the other hand's cracking her face aside - IT'S THE PASTING OF A LIFETIME! Jennifer's head snapping and torquing to-and-fro - hands lowering, body relaxing and THE REF JUMPS IN! It's over - Jenny Mac Pearl-Harbors Jennifer Aniston KO1!

After: Mac leaping away, running back to her corner arms outstretched and diving into the arms of her handlers. She's hoisted high, cackling wildly as she's paraded around the ring while a stunned, glassy-eyed Aniston gets emergency smelling salts on her stool. "Jugshock-and-awe, baby!" Jenny crows in postfight. "Get into her trunks and paste her out before she even knows there's a fight scheduled! I didn't want to be boxing with this girl in space - woman's got skillz - you can't give her room and time to work with. I didn't tell my trainer 'cause he'd-a kaiboshed this stunt - but I've been wanting to turn it loose on some poor sap for a long time now. It had to work: if she'd survived, I would've had nothing left. That's the way it should be though: too many girls are walking out of the ring having saved too much of themselves. With me - you get to see either my opponent carried out of here, or me on my back - that's a promise!" Aniston sputtering for a rematch when she's brought properly around - she's refusing to accept the verdict. BLONDE! Magazine runs a feature on the Pallicki/McCarthy duo - labeling them the "Chin-Checkers" after a total elapsed 3 rounds to dispose of formidable Molly Sims and Jennifer Aniston.