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Before: High stakes, high intensity defence as Biel looks to complete her grand renovation of the FCBA.
"With Theron beaten, I'll have succeeded in sweeping the old FCBA regime away just as I promised," avows a steely-eyed Biel in prefight. "Garner, Bell, Theron: all battered, brought to heel - it's going to be glorious. Did you see the way Theron struggled with the ol' Gray Mare Cat Bell? Charlize won't handle my speed any better than Cat, in fact, I'm expecting the exact same results. I'm fighting at a level now that the Big 3 Hags can't even dream about. I'm blowing Charlize away and dismantling whatever is left of the Theron mystique!"
Charlize the sentimental favourite for the first time in her career, and even the underdog at a few books - she's got her work cut out for her.
"I see an easy fight," breezes the always confident challenger, coming off one of the hardest fights of her career. "I'm just going to do what Cat should have done, but wasn't able to execute on account of her being so knocked out. I'll manage Jessica's speed with stick (holds up left fist), I'll spurn her with pop (holds up right), and I'll mop her up to the body (rolling flurry in the air). No secrets, no surprises, just sound fundamental boxing to expose Jessica for what she is: a cheap, deluded, bottle-blonde bimbo."
Charlize in cream bikini, Biel in neon baby blue, white gloves both vixens.
During R1: Charlize upright, working her stick as promised, tracking Biel on the way in, rejecting early advances. Jessica crouching flat footed, bending low, presenting her left shoulder, right coiled tight at her chest - she's creeping forward, weaving her torso, waving her jab at Theron's belly. Second minute - Charlize jabs - Biel immediately sweeps a hook in response, shifts her feet in close and PLOUGHS righty to the point of Charlize' chin - LIFTING THERON OFF HER FEET! Charlize dashed to her backside, seated at the ropes - hair in her eyes, lips parted - she's HURT! Theron reaching back into ropes, hauling herself off the mat, feet kicking and skidding on canvas - she's shaking her head, trying to clear the cobwebs as ref shouts the standing 8. ON COMES JESSICA! Biel scooting in close, sweeping that right hand to Theron's breadbasket, then hopping right, swiping the hook across Charlize' brow. Theron reeling back against the ropes, eyes glassy, pushing her hands out to ward Jessica off and Biel HAMMERS away to chin. Jess squirming in close, pulling haymakers off her thighs as she fights off Theron's chest to CLANG away upstairs. Charlize' head tossing back and forth - she's ineffectually trying to tie up around Jessica's head - Biel slugging past the clinch and THERON GOES DOWN! Charlize bludgeoned to her right side - frazzled, distraught - Jessica hooting, thumping her chest as she struts to neutral corner to await the count. Theron up, swaying in the wind: ON COMES BIEL! Jessica sells a rush inside, then lays up, then drives in a straight right to body that has Theron buckling forward. Jess jumps in with a short left to jug, then a greedy right to jug - Biel hoisting harm into Theron's breasts, pounding 'em flat with short, shrugging delivery. Char FINALLY ties up breathless, holding Biel behind her head and right elbow - challenger all rung up, staggering as Jessica writhes and tugs to free her limbs at the bell.
R2: Biel hungry - she's got Charlize reeling. Jess out fast, then laying up, stomp-feinting Charlize, then coming with the belly jab. Darting in and out - Charlize weight on right (back) foot, trying to get the jab out but she's badly disorganized. Biel dropping hesitation rights, ducking down on follow through, leaping out to her right - agility giving Charlize real problems as punches add up on her mouth. Jessica grinning, stooping to reach in the belly jab, scooting to the right or pivoting to the left with a swatting hook upside the head - Jessica just tarting Charlize up. Shutout Biel - she lifts her mitts and struts at the bell: Charlize wobbly butt, still getting herself together, wanders to her corner for TLC.
R3: Charlize settling in - fading back now, coaxing life back into ramshackle legs - just pinging out the jab to make contact and disrupt Biel's blitzing rushes. Jessica getting tagged, but still working her jab to Theron's body, still threatening Theron's flanks. Charlize savvy, using her height, making Biel come forward - challenger's stick imposing a little order on affairs. Down the stretch, Biel weaving the jab moves inside and eats a curling check-right uppercut stout on the teeth. BIEL GOES WOBBLY BUTT! Jessica staggering back outside - Charlize stepping-with to tap Jessica's brow a backhand jab, then BENDING into a whistling right cross to belt Jessi's head hard to starboard. Reeling backward, Jessica hits ropes, steadies herself without going down - she covers up just in time to receive Theron's long limbed barrage. Tremendous slinging lather applied - Charlize baring her teeth to sweep lefts and rights across Biel's exposed lower back. Champion's legs vibrating with hurt at the bell - Charlize chesting up and bellowing in Jessica's face - ref interceding as tempers flare in the third.
R4: Thrills, chills - both ways. Charlize backing up from a pouncing rush gets caught a swatting right/left clip-clap on her cheeks, spilling her into ropes early. Later, Theron channelling Biel with long stick, guides champ into some blockbuster right hands flat to pit of the stomach. Biel wincing away with cramped expression of hurt - she didn't like those body blows one bit. Charlize stalking, coming forward at the bell - not too eager to close however.
R: 5,6,7: Biel pressing her attack, but paying a fearful price as Charlize stays tall, hangs back behind an educated jab and walks Jessica into sterling right uppercuts, chin & belly. Tough to score - Charlize sent reeling on occasions when Jessica's lunging right hands score chin; Biel bunching up, shouting in pain as Theron fits that meaty right hand flat to tummy. Both girls hurt and hunted at times, but Charlize starting to shape the action - she's folding Biel into frequent clinches, getting a body on Jessica, walking her around some, slowing the pace of the fight.
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R8: Robust Theron punching - she gets big this round. Char showing just enough leg - in and out, stepping around the jab - Biel's face puffy from poke. Thick right hand body blows visibly withering Jessica now - she's taking hard, then faling into Theron's long arms as challenger works grimy punch n' clutch to good effect. Down the stretch, Charlize abuses Jessica at the ropes: left hand pushing Biel's face back, right hands strapping away to flank or jamming thick to paunch. Theron warned at the bell for bullying: you're not allowed to palm a girl's face, push her back over the ropes and punch her as hard as you can to the body. It just isn't done.
R9: Tactical action resumes - Jessica scuffed up, left eye closing, but grimly determined, getting low and jabbing Theron to body, trying to work in close. Charlize similarly busted up, mouthbreathing - long legs wide spread, easing out on Jessica, luring her forward. Just a pinging jab, bouncing it off Jessica's forehead, marking her. Midway through, Jessica with a gorgeous counter - scooting her feet forward and hurling a pulverizing right hand underneath Charlize' jab to shatter against Theron's ribs - challenger mincing away badly stung to the body but Biel doesn't press the issue. Final minute, Jessica feinting, menacing, comes barrelling in and eats that evil Theron right uppercut - Charlize getting it off her back foot, intercepting Biel on the approach. Jessica brought up short - Charlize puts the hook slick on top - POUNDING the mouthpiece off Jessica's teeth. Biel upright, in stupor - she starts tottering back as Theron slings away long one-twos over champ's left shoulder (remember how Sharon Stone backed up Rachel Ticotin with right hands in Total Recall? Like that). Jess driven length o' the ring, Charlize steadying her with a left in the chest then CLOUTING away to chin! Charlize big, Charlize brawny - laying into Jessica with heartfelt hate on every right hand. Jessica staring, Jessica facing groggy into punches and JESSICA GOES DOWN! Drifting, bar-room right hands over and over to the chin - Biel battered to all fours, panting, head bowed and it's OVER! Jessica gives it up on her knees - Charlize Theron reclaims the long lost lightweight championship via cavewoman KO9!
After: Theron running through a gamut of emotions: leaping for joy as Biel is counted out, then breaking down into heaving sobs as she's embraced by Lange, then pumping her fists and hooting - the belts are back after a veritable eternity in Theron time. Jessica guided tenderly to her stool and checked out with penlights - ambitious champ goes a blonde too far tonight, but the lofty goal of subjugating the big three one that maybe only Biel could contemplate in the first place.
"My chin," a lumped-up Charlize says in postfight, still battling emotional tears, "my chin turned Jessica Biel back tonight. She got on me early, belted me those Cat-busting haymakers, but guess what? I'm not Cat Bell. I took the shots and even as I was getting off the canvas I knew I had Biel right where I wanted her. Jessica looks solid at the weight but I knew she couldn't handle my beef once I dialed in. Once this fight stopped being about her speed and started to be about heart - I used her up. Beating was the best thing that could have happened to her - Jessica's just like I was back in my Champagne Charlize days - no discipline, no maturity. Maybe this will smarten her up." Charlize continues, adjusting the belt across her shoulder while holding two across her waist. "I'm going to savour this accomplishment, then get back to the business of ruling the way a champion should. Girls have been running wild for far too long - time to remind everyone who's running the show." Uh oh: cue tyranny.
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