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6 May 2010 JoJo vs Avril Lavigne

Page history last edited by Archer844 13 years, 11 months ago

BOXING AFTER DARK

Posted by simguy on 5/6/2010, 9:25 am

Before: Pushing and shoving in prefight as JoJo refuses to back down from big-star Av. "She's the worst fighter in boxing," JoJo steams at the podium. "She thinks she's all punk and badass but she's NOT! She's just a whiny little tramp who isn't hot, and can't really sing all that well - in my opinion." Lavigne fuming: getting banged up by established fighters is one thing, but this little tramp definitely on the superstar's nerves. "I will beat JoJo," Avril fumes at the mic. "And if she wants a sing off - that's fine with me too. She can do her biggest hit, and I'll do one of mine...oh, wait...she doesn't really HAVE a big hit. Oh. Well - guess kicking her ass will have to do." JoJo in rainbow bandeau (colours arranged in horizontal bars) with thin bra strap support; white gloves; long golden-brown locks loose. Av in black sports bra; red/black plaid cheerleader spanky trunks; black gloves; brown hair loose/tangly.

During R1: Free-swinging melee midring ends when JoJo pastes Avril's face clanging lefts and rights...Lavigne sputtering off-course, blinking and confused. JoJo pounces to follow up - rebuked by pumping left/rights to gut as Avril lowers head/chugs both fists. Back and forth - girls largely fighting with random ferocity - each having her moments. JoJo separates herself with a looping right to Av's jaw, jerking Lavigne a quarter-turn to her right, driving her sideways to ropes. Bell: JoJo lands a cheap late left hook into Av's rack: Lavigne bleating in protest, hair covering right side of her face as she shrieks at official.

R2: JoJo closing, working the Lavigne midsection with both hands: Avril grimacing, giving ground, but leaning forward to bump n' slug in receipt. Girls digging...good frothy back and forth...JoJo straying a little into Avril's trunks (ref shouting "Keep 'em up JoJo"). Minute mark on - basically toe-to-toe fighting, girls hunching forward, chugging away in turns: Avril slugging off the ropes - JoJo atop her. Good buxom control from JoJo to maintain position: she stuffs Avril's escape attempts by bodying up and pancaking her - forcing belly and jug onto Lavigne. Steady beating of Avril's tummy has her mouth-breathing; clobbering wallops upside the head ring Lavigne's bell. Av digging back - working the JoJo breadbasket, ringing up the jugs with close-cropped lefts and rights. Close round to JoJo as Av can't figure out how to get off ropes.

R3: JoJo lands stubby to face, then hooks body to get Avril ropeside: Lavigne scowling with frustration as Levesque gets beefy. JoJo bodying up, smothering Avril, then stuffing in punches: Levesque warned for holding and hitting - she's cramming punches into Av's body while laying atop her at ropes. Av's output dropping: she's whining to ref to "get this cow off me!" struggling to push and wrestle with JoJo. JoJo just working hard, gloves spanking out loud off Av's tummy and flanks; occasionally clubbing shots beat about Avril's head and shoulders.

R4: JoJo punching-with Avril midring - eating Lavigne's slapping shots, but getting the better of waling trade. Avril snarling, facing into blows...she's driven ropeside, sobbing in frustration as butt compresses against cable. JoJo pancaking Avril with full body press, then pushing off to work: l'il digger Levesque steadily bludgeoning the fight out of Lavigne. Avril whining late - not hitting back: she's trying to tie up under JoJo's arms, but Levesque's wriggling free, pushing Avril-to, and getting back after her with good hustle.

R5: Avril swinging wide, hateful shots midring: JoJo making good reads, ducking under haymakers, then bumping back much shorter shots to Lavigen's aching ribs. As Avril backs straight up, JoJo steps-with and swings for chin - bashing Lavigne's face and driving her ropeside. JoJo securing Avril with pancake body press, pushing off brawny and pumping away: poor Lavigne just miserable with punishment as JoJo has her way. Avril crossing wrists at her breasts, slumping into ropes with one foot up off canvas as she wails in protest: JoJo with free rein, pins ears back and clobbers Lavigne. Bell: Avril shoving JoJo, screaming at her; ref steps in to push seething little popstars apart.

R6: Avril looping haymakers, but facing into short, bashing lefts and rights on her face: she's soon sputtering out of control, legs stumbling/spasming. JoJo pursuing - eyes bright as she hops-to, lines Avril up, then really lays into her righty: Lavigne's head starting to kick back and around as JoJo tunes her up. Ropes: Avril hits all loose and blinking, lips parted, hands extended. JoJo snarling, pours in a right cross to chin, locking up Avril's knees: swinging palm-down hook takes Av in the gut, punching a shout of pain from canuck. Av unrAVeling: pesky JoJo pumping away - feet braced wide, buttocks ringing as Levesque chugs away left/rights from the hips. JoJo effervescent...occasionally pushing both knuckles onto Avril to regain balance, then it's back to the salt-mines, slugging Avril's torso. Lavigne crossing arms against her torso, sobbing out "STOP! STOP!" as she sits in ropes under thumping pressure. Ref jumps in, hugging Lavigne to safety as Levesque crows in triumph. TKO6 JoJo.

After: JoJo trying to get at demoralized Avril, but Seyfried, Pink et al barring the way with stern expressions: Levesque has to be satisfied striping Avril in postfight. "She's weak and gutless!" JoJo exults giddily "I poured my best leather into her and she crumbled. I knew I was tuff - you guys might have thought I was done after my debut soured, but I'm made of sterner stuff. Avril's just the tip of the iceberg: there's PLENTY of girls out there who need a little JoJo in their life and I can't WAIT to get them all beat!" On and on: JoJo grabbing the mic with taped hands and yammering about her game until she's cut off by the boys in the ops truck.