Before: "Ungrateful harlot," Kidman assesses of Casta. "I defend her honor when she couldn't defend it herself, and she challenges ME? Let's look at some prime footage of Casta in action shall we?"

Lights dim - press treated to a five minute montage of Mandy Moore knocking the sweet daylights out of Laetitia with that searing right hand - Kidman narrating with spurious analysis. Casta fuming her side of the dais - clearly discomfited by the sight of herself stretched out and helpless.

Casta in leopard print bikini, hair up - Kidman in classy black halter neck bikini, hair up.

During R1: Casta pressing the action inside, flutter-jabbing up top to snuggle in on Nicole's chest. Legs dig in, backsides jiggling with the effort of backing the other girl up - Casta getting underneath, walking Nicole around - more a strength test than boxing match, dominated by Laetitia in the trenches.

R2: Kidman: right cross, left hook, left uppercut, chasing right hand on the mouth as Casta stumbles back and LAETITIA GOES DOWN! Casta on her buttocks, SO disappointed - she punches the canvas, struggles up woozy - takes a hurting 8. Kidman smiling, waltzing on in like the Germans into Paris 1940 - Laetitia covers up grim. Kidman not a great finisher - she's batting away, looking for more right hands through the middle, but Laetitia's able to ride it out behind a tight guard. 'Tish wobbly butt, but alert, telling her corner she's okay after the chin check.

R3: Casta: looping right hand to the head, sweeping hook across the mouth - shooting right awkard to the chest as Kidman's falling back and DOWN GOES NICOLE! Nikki dropped at the ropes, legs high in the air for a moment - HER turn to blink in astonishment, struggling to gather herself. Nik takes a groggy 8 - 'Tish wades on in and difference is apparent. Laetitia much better at siegecraft - looser limbed, swinging hard to the hips and flanks, bullying Nicole with brawny shoulders to prop redhead up against the ropes. Nik gnashing her teeth, dukes at her temples, just trying to keep her head close to Laetitia - Casta taking advantage with short, repeated right uppercuts on the chin.

R4: Kidman wants to be midring, outside - Casta wants to be right on top of Nicole's chest, slugging at the ropes - majority of the round reflects Casta's will. Kidman lingering too often back to ropes, forced to tie up head and arm on Casta. Laetitia hammering the ribs clubbing lefts and rights, then arching her back to get uppercuts - Nicole windblown, not answering back late. La'Tish pushing up off Nicole at the bell, preening - angry Kidman shoots a hard, cheap, late right hand to the mouth to spawn chaos. Both corners flood the ring, fighters struggling to get at each other - fight delayed as order is restored.

R5: Senseless brawling as girls give in to pent-up emotions - slugfest favours limber-limbed Casta. Kidman trying to poke one-twos, but there's not enough room - Casta swarming, lathering the body, swinging righty to the jaw as Nicole staggers backward. Down the stretch, Kidman wobbly butt, shying away along the ropes - Casta stepping-with, launching a stream of overhand rights upside the head. NICOLE GOES DOWN! Kidman taking a shellacking, finally bludgeoned to her hands and knees in a neutral corner - hooting Casta pushed back. Kidman gets to one knee, then shaking her head no as the count nears 10. Laetitia leaping for joy - Kidman's quit, refusing to get up.

After: Casta overjoyed - passionate punching round after round overwhelming the classy but rigid Aussie. Nicole downplaying her half-hearted exit: "I tried to get up, but my legs weren't responding. Believe me - I did everything I could to beat that count - there's no quit in Nicole Kidman." Better believe that'll be debated in the Tech gym.