Posted by Simguy on 4/7/2006, 7:28 am.

Before: Allison staying busy—tune-up bout on Chabert coming after public shoving incident between the two at a recent gala. “I was surprised,” Mack admits in prefight. “Lacey got right in my face and gave me no choice; after she shoved me and everyone heard the stuff she was saying, I pretty much have to give her a beating. I realize she’s just trying to worm here way onto a card, but I don’t think this is the way to do it. Lacey Chabert’s going to get hurt and it’s her own damn fault.” Chabert unrepentant—beneath the bubbly exterior beats the heart of a shrewd fighting-brunette. “Sure, I could have had my agent call her agent—they would have said I was too low profile, too green, blah, blah, blah, blah. When you’re a huge, overlooked talent like I am, you have to get creative, I’d have pushed Allison’s face into a cake if I’d had to, to make this fight!” Allison in sporty yellow bikini top, evergreen bottoms, two-toned boxing shoes to midcalf (tassels). Chabert in white sports bra (hulking) with big pink polkadots. Sold pink bikini bottoms, white boxing shoes to midcalf with tassels, Yellow  gloves, Allison; white gloves, Lacey.

During R1: Allison extends her right to touch knuckles: Chabert snarling, delivers a booming right to the jaw to buckle blonde knees at the open! Left, right, left—Chabert sailing in, swinging away from her hips, buffeting Allison’s head as Mack staggers sideways/backwards and MACK GOES DOWN! Lacey “staggering” forward, tramples tender inner-thigh, bicep—tassels tossing as she stomps fallen blonde en route to ropes. Mack wide-eyed, reeling as she scrambles up for 8. CHABERT POURS IN! Allison set to receive, dukes at her temples, torso-forward: Lacey pum-pum-pumps amidships—stocky arms swinging back and forth—punching progressively lower until she’s pounding Mack’s sweet green trunks unintentionally. Ali crying out loud, drops to her knees from low-blowage and THE REF CALLS IT A KNOCK DOWN! Allison sobbing in protest, forcing herself achy up off the canvas—ref at “7” when CHABERT SWEEPS IN BEHIND THE GUY’S BACK! Crashing right hand off Allison’s unsuspecting face dazes her, slumps to keep her aloft. LACEY’S SWINGING AWAY! Chabert teeth bared—chugging in the hurt: uppercuts big n’ beefy to stout middle, proud jugs; slugging hooks on the mouth, set up by a pushing right hand against Allison’s chest; drifting rights on the face set up by a pushing left in Allison’s chest. Mack staring, open mouthed, glassy eyed—OH THE PUNISHMENT! Lacey all a-jiggled—little body electric with aggression as she shifts weight in a wide stance, propelling punches into Mack, pushing and bumping as need be to reset the distance and prevent herself from falling in. Ref keeping a close watch—Allison’s dukes up but weak and useless—her head’s TOSSING around, her body’s still, her legs thick and paralyzed—WHAT’S HE WAITING FOR ???? Lacey sobbing for breath, pours the last of her fury into a series of clouting right hands on chin as Ali droops forward and MACK GOES DOWN! Ali stupefied, on all fours—Lacey stoops and POUNDS another right off flank, snug above the hip, drawing a breathy sob of shock from Mack. Ref shoves Lacey away and WAVES IT OFF! Stunning upset TKO1 Lacey Chabert as poor Allison wonders wha’hoppen’ from her knees.

After: Giddy Chabert celebration—Team lacey obviously concerned that a distance fight might be unwinnable decide to put their girl all-in at the start—Mack caught flat footed, steam-rollered into upset submission before she even gets warmed up. BLONDE! magazine ranking it right up there with Carteris win over Fishel, but it’s probably more like Milano over Fishel for upset magnitude—Lacey simply catching Allison with a lucky shot or three, then making sure of Mack with hard-working shellack. AND CHABERT WANTS MORE ALLISON! Bleary-eyed Mack and her stool, sniveling, bewildered—she’s startled as angry Lacey pushes her way through attendants, reaching both hands into Allison’s damp. Soft blonde locks—reefing Mack squealing to her feet.

No preamble—Lacey pulling Ali face-first into rack, snuggles the blonde up reverse-sleeper/left arm strong behind the neck; left hand clutching that rounded right bicep; right hand cupped atop Allison’s head for maximum squeeze, Chabert grinning her teeth, eyes flashing—she’s stepping backward in good order, giving Ali a terrible side-to-side shaking to cinch those jugs in—poor Mack’s arms flailing as she stumbles forward.

Chabert finally propping her buttocks on convenient turnbuckles for support, settling I for the long haul, eyes staring out over Allison as blonde grows weeeeaaak in the awful cuddle. Ali’s hands clutch at the ropes behind Chabert, or palm Chabert’s hips. Later, Mack stooped over, reaches in between Lacey’s legs to lock up her left-hand-gripping-right-wrist around Chabert’s right thigh. If Ali had more strength she might be able to heave Lacey up and over, but instead, she’s just laying in there, fists clenched behind Chabert’s buttock. Lacey letting her jugs do all the work—occasionally, she’ll pull Mack’s face back with a tight grip close to the hairline: Mack all sleepy, shiny, moist—eyebrows high, eyes fluttering shut, mouth slack and open, Chabert takes a lascivious long lick up the side of Ali[‘s dazed face, smacks lips and says “Nope! No done yet!” and promptly tucks Allison in for more jug. On and on—Chabert pouring it to Mack as crowd chants “J! M! D!”—Lacey effectively throwing her hat into the JMD ring with this brutal exhibition, “Jessica Simpson, Jennifer Jugs? I’m calling you both out! Ricci Get in line! Salma—you overbaked tramp—come an’ get it! Chabert going on and on in post fight, Allison asleep, yet standing, her head against Lacey’s right shoulder, trapped in the crook of Lacey’s right arm—Chabert just holding her there as she peaks. “All of you—your slutty puppies can’t compete—you’re outgunned and you know it! Look at this girl—just LOOK at her! That’s what real jugs can do!”

Reposted by Archer 11/15/09.