Posted by Simguy on 3/3/2007, 8:24 am.

Before: “I’ve been looking to put a boot up this particular skinny set of glutes for a long time,” purrs resurgent Alyssa Milano--she of the Panettiere-pounding fists. “Lohan’s going straight back to rehab after this beating!” Lindsay pursing lips, eyes flat in the face of her foe’s crude tainting; Lilo’s heard it all before. “Alyssa’s full if crap, but I’ll give her this,” Lohan says, “she’s a dangerous opponent, She’’ fight me the way she used to fight Doherty--because of my build--but it’s gonna backfire. I’ve got a lot more fight inside than Shannen ever had--Milano steps after me, I’m gonna step her right back!” Linds in cobalt string fighting bikini, red gloves. Milano in sturdy halter-style bikini top (red, yellow, baby blue, brown striping). Solid red bottoms, red gloves. Alyssa chesting right into Lilo during ring instructions, nose pushing into Lindsay’s cheek: Lilo stock still, refusing to react, just stands there face on face as ref’s imploring them to fight clean.

During R1: Wild, swinging action--both vixens loading up and hurling. Lohan snarling, teeth bared as she pitches from her hips--jugs a-sloshing to and fro as she heaves either hand in great round housing circles. Milano bobbing side to side, gloves under her chin-=-she’s looking to step close and past Lindsay clobbering right crosses or leaping left hooks, hair tossing angrily, legs stamping, gloves spanking loud off shoulders, skidding off skulls--crowd oohing and ahhing as both girls just miss ringing connects. Now Lilo’s the aggressor, now Alyssa--fight careens off ropes, across ring--girls disengage, chests heaving, then back in swinging. Lohan getting the better of free-wheeling, fire wagon boxing--nice bandy-armed right/left licks toggling Alyssa’s face back and forth throughout. Girls seething, still trying to get at each other as ref works hard to enforce break. BSE corner livid with Lindsay: that’s definitely NOT what they worked on in camp! Sheepish grin from the kid, colour high, eyes mischievous--no denying Lilo’s brawling heart.

R2: Clean connects hard to come by: both girls showing good defensive instinct whenever the other opens up huge. Milano ducking, getting underneath Lindsay’s sweeping roundhouses, Lilo using her legs, bounding out of range, forcing Milano to reach/come up short. Spirited back and forth, unproductive for much of the round, but down the stretch.: Milano lands a crushing right hand upside Lindsay’s head, putting the kid wobbly butt, Lilo staggering wide-eyed to ropes, hands limp at her temples: ALYSSA’S ROMPING TO JUGG! Crowd scer4eaming in approval as Milano squares up, helps herself to Lohan’s magnificent rack, belting those cobalt-clad puppies hither and yon. Lilo sagging in the ropes, guard being punched out of the way as Alyssa chugs in the punishment, Bell: Alyssa pouring on extra--she won’t get off Lindsay until ref takes a hand.

During the break, Lindsay brutalizes, but she shakes it off--doesn’t appear to be registering a thing her trainer’s saying as sher whole world shrinks to include just Alyssa.

R3: Jabbing from Lilo--maybe she WAS listening! Lindsay steely-eyed, taking center ring like a lion tamer--sticking Alyssa’s mouth, forcing little juggernaut outside. Minute mark: Lohan leans into a hard right hand, fetching Alyssa clout to forehead: back with a carving hook under Alyssa’s breast line; right uppercut lusty off the right foot; left hook tight n’ tasty off the left foot and ALYSSA’S SHOOK! Milano nearly going down, reels to ropes instead, unable to hold ground. Lilo scampering after hurt prey, swinging once, twice, THRICE the big right hand roundhouse into Alyssa’s left flank. Milano groaning forward: Lohan reaches in under Alyssa’s arms--chests her back all big-girl--Lindsay’s stacking Milano up and ROMPING TO RACK! Lohan slashing away, elbows in to her body as she torsi-twists right/left, hacking at Alyssa’s goods. Bleat of outrage from Milano as she breaks down-=-punches beating at her in sheets. POOR ALYSSA! Hayden’s fans temporarily backing Lohan as Lindsay whales away--Lilo just pinning her ears back, getting youthful on Milano as Alyssa wilts under harm. Milano sounding thrashed, but legs proving sturdy: she rides it out, makes it to the bell a-swaying as Lindsay screams taunts while ref pushes her away.

R4: RUGHT HAND DROPS LINDAY! Girls just wading in--both lean into right hands and it’s Milano winning the race. Linds crumpling to her face-and-knees, rolling to her back in shock: knees up, hands over her head as she desperately shakes off the knockout! LOHAN BEATS THE COUNT! Lindsay SWAYING at the ropes, eyes glassy--Milano crowing, climbing the neutral corner ropes, then jogging back at her for after Lilo’s 8. HAMMER AND TONGS! Bikini strings tied at either girls back jumping up and down with the ferocity of slugging--Milano punching her way into Lilo’s pale abs and ribs, but ALYSSA’S REJECTED! Furious exchange sees Lilo go mindless, erupting with ripping, tightened uip lefts and rights off the ropes, taking Alyssa viciously in HER ribs, tits and chin. Lilo slowly coming forward--she’s chopping sidearm at Alyssa--the fist coming in palm-up, gouging into Milano, twisting palm down for maximum carve. Alyssa stubbornly  backpedaling, trying to punch-with and she’s nailing Lilo as well. Final minute--furious, belting  give and take: MILANO’S KNEES BUCKLE! Lindsay’s kitchen just too damn too--Alyssa disengages, tears brimming as she staggers away in shock. Lohan walking her girl down, slamming away limber overhand rights to the ear as Milano covers up: Alyssa chased to the ropes, face-in-gloves as LINDSAY squares away. OH THE HUMANITY! Lindsay baring her teeth, crying tears of rage as she slops her hardest lefts and rights onto poor Alyssa, Milano sobbing out behind her mitts, bending forward sadly, only to take swabbing blows across her back. Alyssa helpless, forlorn, not punching back--Lilo pouring more and lore hurt home and THE REF STEPS IN! TKO4 in vigorous fashion, Lindsay Lohan!

After: Lohan still swinging away, punching around the ref to pelt at Alyssa--Lilo finally pushed back as official cradles a blubbering Milano to safety. Alyssa in shocked denial: she had Lilo OUT, Lindsay was done--but somehow it’s Milano trembling and battered in defeat. “TKO$ babieeee,” a pumped Lindsay Lo shrieks in post fight, Lilo plenty scuffed up, but exultant--as rush does down, she looks a little sheepish on camera with indulgent Trainer mock-glaring over her shoulder. “OK, so I didn’t fight the smarest fight,” Linds grins, “but Alyssa just brings out the worst in girls and I’m no exception, Maybe if Hayden had fought with a little more passion, she wouldn’t have had Milano’s foot on her back at the end, hey? I’m better than Alyssa, that’s all I want to say--I’m better than she is and she damn well knows it after I waxed her ass the way I did tonight, I’ll box her and embarrass her next time, but tonight was definitely about me making that girl cry! Yah!” BLONDE! Magazine casting about for quotes, settles on interested party Sarah carter for her analysis. “Yeah: Lindsay can punch--we know this, She cab beat limited fighters like Alyssa, but if she ever fought me that way, I’d take her apart. Very sloppy, very amateurish--she’s  an over-rated butt waiting to be kicked bhy a sharpshooter like me.

Reposted by Archer 8/3/10