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7 May 2010 Jennifer Lopez vs Jenny McCarthy

Page history last edited by Archer844 13 years, 10 months ago

Same PPV co-main event

Posted by simguy on 5/7/2010, 2:42 pm,

BEFORE: "Did she change her name to Jello?" Jenny asks her aides, then grinning, "Oh...is this thing on? Right: Lopez. Listen - I'll admit it: I wasn't right after she beat me down in our rematch years ago. I was young, cocky - she was bigger, more motivated, and she punished me like you're supposed to in that situation. The truth was, I wasn't ready for Jennifer Lopez 10 years ago, but oh baby, look at me now! I don't care how fat she comes in: I will beat the ever-lovin' pounds off her. I'm harder; faster; more skilled; meaner. Jennifer's coming in a bully, but she's gonna leave a lamb...and I'll finally have my 2 of 3 against her." Lopez fit n' pretty following her movie comeback this year: anxious to punctuate that with a meaningful in-ring accomplishment. "Before I fought Jenny the first time," Lopez recollects at podium, "I had never been cut. She fouled me - cruelly, and often - but I rallied back for a draw. Then, I battered her in the rematch, when all her cards where on the table, and she had no surprises left. Nothing's changed except I'm a little stronger now. I will break Jenny McCarthy - I'm gonna knock the brass right off this tramp, and it ain't gonna take 10 rounds. I've already carried this chump once: now, I'll just destroy her. I'm only sorry that it's not me crashing her St. Paddy's Day party to give her this beating!" Lopez in paisley-print bikini top in pale blues and mauves; solid green cheerleader spanky-bottoms; black shoes/white socks rolled down; white gloves; hair back off her face in top-knot. Jmac in metallic blue bikini with boy cut bottoms; white gloves; white shoes no socks.

During R1: Jlo bobbing in - arms either crossing or showing earmuff: she'll looking to step in strong on left foot; throw the left shoulder in; hook Jenny's ribcage from there. Jenny grinning - timing Jlo's approaches, diving in with lead right hands to intercept her, then sidestepping left. Jenny popping jabs, steppin' left; Jenny dropping right hands, then turning over hooks, putting combos together. Late the round, Mac pivoting 'round planted left leg - her left hand pawing and cuffing at Jlo's paunch. Bell: Jenny upbeat, grinning cheeky, bouncing back to her corner...she spruces Lopez up in a frisky first.

R2: Mac times Jlo coming in...blonde diving into lead right hand, buzzing brunette, putting Lopez wobbly butt early. Jenny circling hurt prey - clawing hooks across tummy/scalp - dropping spicy right hands: Lopez turning in crossed arm, facing into pain. Jlo stubborn - eating leather, but eventually bracing Jenny's ribcage wide right/lefts: Lopez' slugging forces toe-to-toe exchanges as Mac goes stationary. HAMMER AND TONGS! Mac in tight configuration, chipping the left uppercut to Jlo's chin to split the peek-a-boo guard; Lopez clobbering back curling right/lefts upside Mac's head, bludgeoning the rigidly held earmuff. Bell: Mac digging righty to paunch - eats a stiff right to chops in trade as ref jumps in. Jlo gets in a "Cheating bytch!" as Jenny answers "Hurts when they punch back, huh?"

R3: Mac sliding back...luring Jlo in...timing her: there's the diving right hand, catching Lopez to face, leaving her staring as Jenny squirts out to the side. Mac in control: standing up straight to work her jab-and-pivot routine in clockwise circles; banging one-twos up top to get Jen to form earmuff, then ripping Lopez hooks-to-paunch. Lopez buffetted and shook, but trudging forward - taxing Jenny's ribcage with that ringing Mexican hook. Bell: Jenny swat-uppercuts her right hand against Jlo's breasts - smirking in triumph as ref jumps in.

R4: Mac owning Lopez early - walking her into that sneaky lead right, then chewing her up brisk combos, turning her clockwise. Minute mark, Jenny sweeps right hand to Latina paunch, then pulls back all grins: Jlo takes what she must; steps her left foot in, hooks the taste out of Jenny's mouth, putting her wobbly butt. McCarthy rocked - stepping in fence post holes: she forms desperate earmuff, trying to firm as Jlo transitions to offence. Good God, the body punching: Jlo planting on left leg, unleashing withering, whacking hooks to right flank/paunch/left bicep - beating Jenny woozy. McCarthy buffetted to her left, lips parted: gut check time for shell shocked blonde as Jlo walks her down. Vicious, biting hooks dig in behind Jenny's right elbow, ticketed for liver: cringing Mac reaching in both hands to grab Lopez' left arm, tug her forward and sidestep her. Just enough sneaky survival stuff from Jenny gets her out of the round: Lopez strutting to her corner hands held high for break.

R5: Mac visibly slowed: Lopez able to close, body her girl to ropes, process her bell to bell. Jenny in the pocket: dukes at temples, elbows in close to body - she's rolling hurt, twitching shoulders side to side as Lopez hurls-in. Lopez pushing head through Jen's mitts, focusing on tight bantamweight chassis: oh those unGodly hooks, ripping and ripping at Jenny's ribs/liver/waist. Lopez right hand issuing stubby little punctuation marks - often just bracing Jenny against her guard, keeping her defensive. Lopez brawny with left shoulder - drawing warnings: she's keeping Jenny pinned down and taking. Down the stretch, it's all too much: Mac eases herself to right knee, visibly distressed...JLO CLIPS HER A CHEAP HOOK! Jenny's chin toggled...she drops to her buns, collapsing against ropes all eyelashes a-flutter: crowd booing; ref bodying snarling Jlo back as poor Jenny swoons through 5.

Mac gets smelling salts during the break...groggily tells ref to 'cram it' when he checks on her: blonde proves Philly-tough off her stool.

R6: Jenny jabbin': blonde eyes narrowed, lips pressed tight as Mac punishes Lopez' aging face. Jlo turning, pursuing: she gobbles a diving right hand interceptor as Jenny catches Latina coming in - sidesteps her without receipt. Minute mark - Jenny bounces a right hand off Jlo's high guard; rips hook-to-tummy - snappin' the mitt off Jlo's beef. Lopez back hooking, coming up short as Jenny leans away: Mac leans back in with the right hand pull-counter - chopping Jlo to chin with a punch that starts at the waist. Jlo stumbling, forming earmuff: she's a confused beauty, stooping forward behind her mitts and Jenny CHECKS chin via crisp left uppercut. Lopez stunned, babystepping forward in shock: Mac hooks Latina at the waistline, coaxing a groaning Lopez to all fours. Grimacing 8, Jlo: she beats the count, forms earmuff and MAC WANTS RACK! Good lord, the jug taken: Jenny snarling, lips curling off teeth as she revs it up, pounds away jackhammering, palm-down right/lefts in criss-cross delivery. Jlo's defences shredded...mouthpiece dribbling off her teeth, onto her jugs where a punch impresses it into tender rack-meat...Lopez wilting, drooping forward. Mac bodies up, heaving Jlo into ropes, then getting back at her: blonde hooks gouging up Latina paunch; chopping right hand bouncing off staring Latina face. Lopez swooning...guard going limp...Jenny's pouring through the cracks, battering Jlo senseless and LOPEZ GOES DOWN! Tattooing flurry belts Jennifer into stupor...she pitches forward from the waist, then swoons into canvas - bellying in at Jen's feet. Mac bellowing, drawing thumb across her throat then stomping away...she's already celebrating as ref drones his way to 10. KO6 Jenny McCarthy.

After: Lopez battered - rolled to her back and gently brought around: she's very puffy, bleak and devastated as physicians check her out. Tweet from long time Lopez-hater Halle Berry goes wide: "Lopez bombed out in 6: she's finished!" A beaming Jenny Mac's loving the damage. "Wonder what her excuse is gonna be this time?" Mac chuckles, citing the so-called elbow incident from the long-ago first fight. "Clean punches, baby - that's all I caught her with tonight, and look at her: ruined! Took care to bust her up, 'cause I wanted folks to know she'd been in a fight, but I also went to the tummy because I KNOW she doesn't like it down there. Saw she was fading fast so I went to her girls for my fans: I owed them that after all her crap over the last few weeks. That's Jenny McCarthy 2, Jlo 1, and I don't know boys: this could be the last we see of this old boot!"