Posted by Simguy on 8/8/2008,6:08 pm

Before: “I’d like to wish Mary luck,” a gracious Gabby offers in prefight, “because she’s going to need it. I have nothing against Mary Winstead—there is nothing personal in what I’m about to say, but I feel I have to say it. Mary Winstead is everything that’s wrong with the FCBA today. You get these pretty young things who cozy up to money and get themselves all promoted up, while real fighters go away hungry and unnoticed. For every Jennifer Garner, there’s ten—TWENTY—overhyped bikini-wahinis who can’t fight a lick, but who get all the attention and take up all the network time, Let me tell you something: I’m going to give Mary Winstead a beating. I’m gonna break Mary Winstead down and take her out. I’m gonna hurt Mary—not because I hate her, but because she needs hurting. It may not be her fault, but Winstead has got to pay, for me, and for all the legit fighters like me who have never gotten their due.”

Winstead blinking at the vehemence: she thought Union was a stepping stone, not a political statement. “Umm,,,boo hoo?” Mary shrugs at the podium. “I mean—what I supposed to say to that? I’ve heard the ‘legit fighter blues’ about a million times, but I don’t think I’ve ever heard it sung quite like that. In case you haven’t noticed, my promoter isn’t in the ring with me, taking punches for me, I’ve earned everything I’ve ever gotten in this sport, and as far as I’m concerned, you’re just one more pay cheque. Oh, and you can take that ‘nothing personal’ crap and shove it. You slapped my face just now and you know it: don’t expect me to turn the other cheek!”

Gabrielle in soft baby blue cashmere crochet bikini; white gloves; hair in flirty ponytail. Mary in soft green cashmere crochet bikini; black gloves; hair loose.

During R1,2,3: Mary fierce—stomping at Gabrielle with dukes up, spitting a stubby jab, then looking to churn away busy lefts and rights. Union sleek, cute—turning her shoulders to slip shots; sidestepping Mary with nifty pivots; getting low and putting a shoulder into Mary’s body to leer off, Mary undeterred—she’s missing a lot, but she’s coming forward energetically, understanding that volume is the key to beating a cutey-pie. Batting, clubbing lather from Mary Winstead—punches pelting off Gabby’s flanks and shoulders—most of’em picked off, but every once in a while—Winny’s clipping chin clean or tucking into gut with good leverage. Union much more selective—walking Mary into tidy counter-right uppercuts from the closed stance; shifting weight to back (right) foot while clawing the left hook across Mary’s front. Spicy, non-stop action featuring Mary’s effervescent attack and Union’s canny defense and slick counterpunching. Winstead simply outworking the slickster, takes all three rounds the old fashioned way.

R4: More of the same, but Gabrielle upping her output, competing more diurectly, willing to engage and back Mary up at times. Union’s head movement exquisite: she’ll duck low under Winstead one-twos, ease the left shoulder into mary’s body, then pivot ‘round her, turning her counterclockwise. Emerging from the crouch, Union snaps off broisk combinations—often leading with a chopping right hand in close, then cleaning up with a pair of brisk hooks before sliding out of range. Gabby relaxed—right hand stacked atop left at her body—she’s making Mary miss, making Mary pay in the fourth.

R5: Look at Mary go: eyes blazing, teeth bared, hair tossing across her back and shoulders as she whales away. Winstead jabbing her way in lose, then applying shellack: Mary keeping her elbows close to her body, twitching her shoulders side to side as she hacks away on Gabby. Union suppressed—she’s content to roll the shots, take them on her arms or flanks, block’em and slip’em—but she’s not offering back much. Gabby routinely forced to ropes where she’ll bob up and down a couple of times, then clinch Mary: Winstead the clear aggressor, trying to make the fight.

R6: After a minute of pursuit, Mary hustles Gabby to ropes, squares away, goes to work. Union relaxing into the cables, bobbing and rolling on the spot,  keeping her left shoulder pointed at Mary. Winstead poking a stubby jab into Gabby to fix position, then hacking the right hand down, then carving the left hand up: some might call it crude, but it’s effectively keeping Union off the score sheets. Midway through, stout body punching from Mary leads to a clanging left uppercut/right cross combo to chin: GABRIELLE’S SHOOK! First sign of concern as Gabby’s knees give way, sitting her into the ropes:

Mary POURS into the breach, pitching from her hips. Sophisticated defence of Gabby replaced by a panicky turtle as she covers up and doubles forward: Mary’s reckless apologizes, but gets right back on after ref’s break: Union with a bleak, sullen expression as she is lathered rudely to the bell.

R7: When Gabrielle’s aggressive off her slips, she’s dominating Mary. Union refocused—slipping low, using her shoulder against Mary’s body as the hinge-=point for pivots, then pasting Winstead combos as Mary turns into punishment. Winstead spraying shots, missing her jab as Gabrielle weaves in under it and chops home short right crosses in exchange. Union’s eyes hard—she’s dipping in close, turning Mary, touching her up, then stepping outside to circle in on front (left) foot to bounce a tidy right/left off Winny’s waist; as gabby pulls back onto her rear (right0 foot, she clips Winstead the forget-me-not-not hook, and WINSTEAD GIES DOWN! Mary scooting to het glutes all open-mouthed and stunned, Gabrielle stalks past smoky-eyed, nostrils flaring as she finally shows her class.

R8; Typical MEWL gets her head handed to her last round comes out smokin’ this round to answer. Union once again doused by the steady patter of Mary’s work. Winstead hounding Gabby with a chipping, pesky, poking jab—then lathering her up and down both coasts as Union slips and shows cute. Gabby able to wheel around and sidestep early, but eventually she’s pressurized to ropes where Mary can at least work the body. Winstead unable to find to find Union’s chin with anything substantial, but good leather being directed to Gabrielle’s increasingly tender ribcage as hustle trumps class in the 8^th.

R9: Gabby slips a MEW right hand, comes back with a swiping hook to chin, buckling Mary’s knees. Quick right hand chops MEW’s chin; quick hook finds chin, another finds her breasts as Mary totters back on her heels. Mary hits the ropes is disarray: Gabrielle surges forward, carrying an overhand right onto Mary’s jaw; Mary goes limp, head lolling back as her hands droops—crowd goes into hysterics. Union knuckles-up on Mary’s chest to position her, then GABBY PASTES MARY SENSELESS! STOP THE FIGHT REF! STOP THE FIGHT! Mary a-swoon, hands down, face getting shellacked as she sags against ropes: Union absolutely heartless, pouring in right/left crisscross. Winstead punched stupid, but she drapes herself forward, clinching for ref’s break: lights are dim, still on as Mary slumps against ropes while Gabby’s pushed back. Union surges forward, snarling: more pasting for Mary as she tries to cover up earmuff, taking a terrible buffeting before she tie up. Union in danger of gassing-out she eases off the throttle, but stays in, electing to fight off Mary’s clavicle and work her midsection. Winstead on auto—unable to fight back, but doing juuuust enough to tie Gabby up and prevent the ref from stopping it. Somehow—MEW makes it to the bell as a disgusted Gabrielle pushes up off her and stomps back to corner.

R10: MEW beaten beyond recognition—eyes swelling shut, face all puffy—but look at her stumble grimly out of port to give battle! Union furious to see Mary still standing, but Gabby a little arm weary: Union forced to circle, hunt and peck a little—touching jabs to Mary’s body to bring her hands down., Searing single shots rights from Union turn Mary’s head aside—but Winny staying upright, despite many queasy moments. Mary pushing out punches—just bumping impacts: Gabrielle ignoring these, trying to rip back at Mary’s tummy or chin as they become available. Another bad beating for MEW, but she keeps her back off the ropes, plods drunkenly after union and manages to stagger to the finish line. Comes back one point duke, Mary Elizabeth Winstead!

After: Union disgusted as Mary’s limp arm is raised: Gabrielle lolling her head back, then pulling away as Winstead is mobbed by friends and associates. Tough, tough loss for Gabrielle Union: obviously the better boxer, the slicker worked, the better combination puncher—but she spent too many minutes being cute and not enough being busy. Battered Mary hustles her buns all night long, drenching Gabrielle in punches and takes a career-defining victory as a result.

Reposted by Archer 8/15/09.