Before: "As far as starpower goes," says a matter-of-fact Jen Connelly in prefight, "there are only 4 fighters at bantamweight: me, Britney, Jolie and Alba. Every other name is like an ornament on a christmas tree - I feel like we're the four fighters who matter and it's important to dominate that group. So let's look at it: I've already mastered Spears, which leaves Angie and Jess. Obviously Alba's not in Jolie's league, but she's hot and the fans really respond to her, but hyped fighters have never been great fighters. HBO has done everything in their power to coronate Jessica, but she's just not there yet: she is NOT championship fit. I will give Jessica Alba yet another beating - no way she's ready to step up and take somebody of my class."

Alba non-plussed: always very confident when she's not taking hits. "Does anyone else think Jen's looking tired and hard these days?" Alba mocks at the podium. "Does anyone really think that this (gestures grandly at her sleek chassis, giving a supple little hip-roll) is really going to have any trouble blowing the doors off that? (curls a lip in Jen's direction). Connelly's had her day - the sooner old skanks like Jen C step aside, the sooner I can put the FCBA on my shoulders and take this thing to the next level. The one good thing about beating up a withered old crone like Jennifer is that it also makes me better than Britney, since Spears couldn't handle Connelly's aging heat. I'm going to kill two overated, under-hot birds with one stone in this fight. Next stop: championship city!"

Jennifer in white bikini, coming to ring instructions in long white crushed velvet coat, white cowboy hat, definitely scoring a sartorial TKO over Alba in neon baby blue bikini top, rainbow thin-striped bottoms. White gloves both vixens - both refusing to touch 'em up at ref's request: A list egos won't permit it.

R1: Jen: chin tucked, eyes serious, right at cheek, left lower and more forward, ready to pulse jabs. Jessica using her legs, hopping the perimeter, changing directions to shake the pursuit. Alba hands low - she'll lift a potshotting right off her thigh - tap or brush with it, fall off to the side; she'll stoop and jab tummy or breast, scooting away before the receipt. Connelly patient, walking Jessica down - late the round Jen gets to the Alba ribcage with thump: big batting, almost straight arm lefts and rights to prompt Alba clinches. Jessica commanding ring with her legs, boxing to control and contain rather than hurt: Jen striding to her corner at bell, probably out-touched and outmaneuvered but seemingly unconcerned.

R2: Alba flighty - skiffing and slapping her punches like a Derrick Gainer - she's more smoke than fire, but it's very pretty, athletic-looking stuff. Jess all loose limbed, supple as she trots the ring, attacking in flapping squalls, then sliding away before Connelly can respond. Jen resolute, covering up and accepting spank on her shoulders and guard, then looking to step in - but Alba's not sticking around to engage. It's no accident: when Jen steps back, drops her hands and gives Jessica a withering "Come on" expression - Alba grins, shakes her head "No" and continues hopping well to the outside. Once again, Connelly able to close in the final minute and punish Jessica's svelte ribcage - good thudding lefts and rights until Jessica's canny clinching gets her out of the round.

R3: Jennifer growing impatient with Jessica's will o' the wisp act: Connelly storming forward, getting nibbled and turned in the process. Alba's legs never better: springy, sleek, tanned - she's motoring effortlessly, using every inch of ring, turning on a dime and hitting off her pivots. Alba able (say that 10 times fast) to bring slinging swipe off her thighs with either mitt - lashing at Jen's skull, forcing Connelly to duck and evade long enough to permit Jessica's escapes. Alba pestering with the jab, feinting Jen into a blocking crouch, then jabbing her flat tummy, scooting away with a maddening grin. Connelly frowning at the bell - she's shutout, frustrated. Corner sits Jen down and tells her: "What're you waitin' for? Get on this kid and hurt her to the body. You want her to stop runnin'? Bang the damn body like we trained!"

R4: Easier said than done - Connelly doubling up her jab and getting into range to crease Alba's midsection some juicy hooks, but Jess able to absorb, retreat and dance away. Second minute, Connelly bearing down on the midsection - she bangs a hook/right hand off Jessica's hips: Jess responds with a greasy right uppercut/left hook on Connelly's chin - it's Jen C wobbling away with wonder in her eyes. Alba coming forward for the first time tonight, pasting Jen jabs in the mouth to get her ropeside, then CARVING her a big right hand in the body that has the crowd groaning in sympathy. Jen dukes up, taking a good shot - she comes slugging off the ropes and Jess just fades it, batting punches out of the air, luring Connelly back to midring. Alba coasting to the bell, letting her legs beat Jen - just touching and brushing enough to keep Connelly occupied to the bell. Alba shouting "TOO SLOW!" as the ref moves in: Jen's cheeks hot with shame at Jessica's taunting.

Alba/Connelly conc.

Posted by simguy on 7/8/2005, 6:49 am