DVD Collection #18: (2 disk set) The Best of the Rest from 2006 by simguy

 

 

 

Originally Posted 11/19/2006

 

1.) Jeri Ryan pounds out Catherine “Cat” Bell (Apartment).

 

Bell in what has become her favorite attire, that little leopard print bikini top, this time paired with boy-cut black panties and white rabbit-pelt MMA gloves specifically designed for Apartment Wrestling; Ryan in a red lace push-up bra, boy cut panties and white rabbit pelt MMA gloves.

 

Scene 3: Bell on her haunches, left side snug against apartment wall; bent forward over her knees, head on the carpet, arms and hands desperately protecting her head but exposing her right flank to Jeri's fists.

 

Scene 4: Ryan up on her knees, left hand braced against Cat's shiny white back, right hand smashing punches down into the helpless brunette. Jeri cleaning up on Cat’s lats and ribs; sometimes getting into that soft right breast from underneath; punching at Cat's covered-up head; using hammer fist (dropping fist’s edge onto Cat rather than punching with knuckles) against the head or upper back. Loud thumping sounds coming from Bell's toned ribcage as completely unopposed blows land succulent and thick. All Cat can do is shudder and take it!

 

Scene 6: Cat's sort of inching forward on her knees along the wall - Jeri shifting her position on her knees, backside a-jiggle as she stays on top and keeps pounding! Finally, when Jeri's dragged off of Cat by a tuxedo'd official - Cat rolls onto her right shoulder, sprawled devastated on her back - hands covering her head; her face pale and waxy as her knees draw up, then flopping sadly side to side. Poor ol’ Cat’s been all used up by this tough blond.

 

 

2.) Charlize Theron submits Cat Bell (Apartment).

 

Charlize in a shockingly tiny green string bikini faces off against the big brunette ‘Cat’ who’s in her famous leopard print bikini from her FHM photoshoot.

 

Scene 7: Bell continues to struggle in this sequence from a recent apartment tussle. She’s on her back, her head nestled tight in against Charlize' right hip. Charlize laying on her left side, her long, strong legs scissoring tightly over Cat's right shoulder, bisecting Bell's body across her breasts. (Char’s feet are tightly clamped at the ankles - our camera angle close to floor level, looking up past the feet and legs to the writhing bodies).

 

Scene 11: Theron is curled slightly around embattled Cat - Theron's hands with a firm grip of Cat's left wrist - Bell's left hand waving pathetically, completely neutralized by Charlize's scissors.

 

Scene 12: Charlize cooing, her cheek close to carpet as she works to control Cat's left arm and body - she knows she's got her rival now; just letting her legs do the work of forcing her out.

 

Scene 13: Poor Cat! Her head tosses pathetically side to side upon Charlize' hip - right cheek pressing against pale Theron thigh - dark hair all sweaty, matted close to Cat's face and Theron's body. Cat's helpless legs pedal, feet pushing at carpet - occasionally she tries to bridge, groaning with the effort.

 

Scene 14: Charlize won't have it, uses her powerful dancer’s legs to muscle Cat back down where she belongs. Theron still-bodied, very quiet - working her hold, silent except for the odd breathy gasp as she pours it on.

 

Scene 15: Bell blubbering unhappily - unable to break free or even tap out - forced to cry in humiliation, "I GIVE! I GIVE!" Sounds of submission bring a glorious smile to Charlize's Oscar-winning lips!

 

3.) Navi Rawat submits Erika Christianson (Apartment).

Rawat in peach bikini w/ruffled edges; Erika in powder-blue push up bra with a white bikini bottom.

 

Scene 18: Navi seated on edge of bed, hugging up hard around Erika's waist as blonde stands on the floor in evident discomfort. Christianson grimacing, hands pushing down on Navi's shoulders - Rawat just working hard, cinching up her bearhug; left hand gripping right wrist in the small of Erica's lower back.

 

Scene 19: Navi's right cheek in against Erika's ribs - Rawat's face turned to the camera - black hair all tangled, tumbling down her shoulder. Rawat heaves Erika up and over - brunette tumbling back onto the bed, pulling blonde forward. Both Erika's hands up over Navi's left shoulder - blonde lying diagonally across brunette.

 

Scene 20: Rawat's tanned legs quickly scissor up Erika's pale right thigh with a beefy SLAP, holding her neatly in place. Navi's face looking up into the camera to the left of Erika's armpit, licking her lips as she’s working hard to polish Christianson off.

 

Scene 22: Erika groaning - obviously spent. Blonde hair obscuring half her face, lips sniveling, both hands clutching cream-coloured bedspread as she’s propped up on her elbows. Navi working it, eyes squinting as her hands grip and grope for extra squeeze. Erika screams out in frustration, beating her right fist on the bedspread - she's quitting!

 

Scene 23: Navi smiling like she's just had the best dinner of her life; laughing happily as she releases the stricken blonde who slumps in tears, pulling the rumpled bedspread over her red, flushed, tear-streaked face.

 

Afterward: Great side-by-side shot - camera looking down at the girls as Erika rolls off Navi to lie on the right side of the picture. Navi happy, chortling, pulling covers off of Erika, holding her head up, grining and relaxed. Erika hugging at her body, red face twisted in agony as Navi holds her chin tilted up; eyes squeezed tightly shut against the tears as her knees come up, ankles crossed modestly while Rawat sits up all smiles, adjusts her swimsuit top; dark eyes sparkling.

 

4.) Lindsay Lohan ‘Pearl Harbors’ Reese Witherspoon (from Youtube.com)

 

Young Hollywood engages in a lot of prank-style hit and run stuff - here's a typical case in point. This DVD clip was snagged off Youtube before Witherspoon's publicist demanded it's removal.

 

There's Reese, sunbathing on her back on an undisclosed beach somewhere - bright sunny day - pretty baby-blue bikini on her pleasingly plump blonde body.

Camera (clearly a hand held job) pans to Lohan in the foreground, stifling a nervous giggle, holding a finger up to her lips for quiet, tangled auburn hair blowing in the sea breeze. Lindsay (in cobalt bikini) jogs all a-jiggle towards Reese, then hits the unsuspecting blonde a flying big splash across her midsection.

 

Camera rushes up as Witherspoon gasps in shock, then groans - Lindsay pushing up off her and howling with glee as Lohan and accomplice run off before Reese can pull herself together - total pearl harboring.

 

Once safely away, Lohan's laughing; mocking Reese's cry of pain - saying “Like I totally punked her!"

 

5.) Cat Bell’s Doomed Assault on Mt. Heigl (FCBA Boxing).

 

Cat's consecutive KO losses and her ensuing brutal sub-JUG-ation at the hands of Katherine Heigl stand out as visual highlights. The two wins have made Kat Heigl, but don't think they've ruined Cat! Heigl is an individual match-up problem for Ms. Bell, not an indication of her general decline.

 

May 26, 2006: Round 4: Bell rickety up off her stool, deep breath through her mouth: she's shook up, but serviceable as once again, Heigl bears down. Katherine with that chopping jab - very stiff - right hand at her temple as she walks Cat down - Bell getting her face banged back and her torso shocked as Kat puts thudding stick to throbbing pec. Ropes: Bell dukes at temples, bending forward and peering up at Kat - Heigl with a withering hook in the liver freezes her foe, then picks her up a lugging left uppercut in the chest. Bell swaying back, mouth open: smashing right hand skids off her left shoulder as she rolls the punch, but Heigl's careening hook caroms off forehead, sitting Bell dazed in the ropes. Kathy grinning, reaching in under Bell's arms and propping her up, chesting her beefily into ropes - rude shove and slug unhinging Bell's legs, forcing her to clinch. Ref's break resets beauties mid-ring - Bell stepping away - Heigl jiggling aggressively forward, lips curled back. Bell ducks, but is taken in the ear by a swinging right haymaker - left hook brushes her upright, sends her tottering to her right. Heigl steps, swings a sweeping hook from outside Bell's left shoulder, clouting Cat from an awkward angle, smashing her head back and SENDING HER TO THE CANVAS! Catherine sprawling on her back starfished - head lolling side to side, face set in a cranky little KO-frown - SHE CAN'T BEAT THE COUNT! Bell takes 10 flat on her back - KO4 in ham-handed fashion - Katherine Heigl!

 

Afterward: ANOTHER brazen knockout of the classiest brunette in boxing! Another bludgeoning masterpiece! Heigl putting the kind of pressure on Bell that Cat herself put on Theron at the beginning of their rivalry with these wins. Standing ovation from KruZher Kohorts, beaming smiles - sight of their arch nemesis so helpless on her back absolutely enthralling. AND HEIGL WANTS MORE! Kathy still in her gloves, pouncing atop Cat, settling in on her haunches to sit on Bell's stomach, bracing the Bell rib cage with the left palm just snug below the breastline and POUNDING AWAY RIGHTY TO THOSE KO'D JUGGS!!! Bell in stupor, lips parting moist, arms outstretched - she's just lying there, SOAKING IT UP! Heigl wild, leaning into the work - blonde curls in her mouth, strewn across her face, matted damp to her breasts - great washerwoman scrubbing rights smash across flattened jug, shaking the unconscious woman beneath. Quick-witted sound-tech in the booth cues up "Woo Hoo" by Blur, nicely matching Heigl's mood. A savage, flabby pounding - breasts like great mounds of springy pizza dough just getting CLOBBERED! Two-three rights, then Heigl braces with her right hand on ribcage to plunge away repeat lefts, picking the elbow up and pummeling down/across with the punching motion. Back and forth, back and forth - face red with effort - crazed smile of exultation taking over as Heigl gives in to jug lust. Poor Cat helpless to prevent, head listing to her right, lips unconsciously parting with the pounding - oblivious now, but she'll see the tape of this for the rest of her life.

 

FINALLY, Charlize Theron herself pulls Heigl off, hugging and soothing Katherine, walking her away: CT wanting Cat punished, but not wanting Heigl to soak up every last scrap for herself - SOME of those punches belong to Charlize after all. Bell groaning in RUINS: yet another tawdry low set for sportswomanship in the FCBA.

 

June 23, 2006: Round 5: Heigl refuses to get discouraged - batting her mitts as she rises from her stool and driving Cat to ropes with a full-body rush. Ref's break - Heigl stepping back in with a VERY stiff jab, driving Cat back into the ropes. Right hand smashes the Bell ribcage: big, fat roundhouse, landing like a bat on a mound of wet clay. Bell digging in, face pinched: she's hurt to the body, taking her worst beating of the fight thus far. Heigl brawny, smashing at Bell's slender arms, beating her flanks, shoving her upright with stiff shoulder-palming. Heigl set strong: jackhammer left jabs landing like stubby powershots; straight, short right hands pounding in between Cat's gloves, smashing Bell's face back with alarming force. Down to the body: Heigl dips and DIGS that hook home to liver, crippling Cat with a stifled cry behind her gloves; Heigl shifts her feet, palming Cat's shoulders, then ripping her another gorgeous right to the ribs, scraping along beneath the breastline. Bell grimacing, reaches to clinch: Heigl hooks chin short n' tight, right hand at her chin as she torques, stunning Cat on the spot. Another hook finds the mark: Cat's mouthpiece flutters off her teeth, her head suddenly limp on her neck. Another hook lands to open mouth: Cat's hands droop down, eyelashes fluttering. Smashing right hand pounds Cat's face to the side, draping her upright at the ropes, her hands down at her tummy. HOOK: Cat's head on a swivel - fans screaming with concern - Cat’s trainer Syren biting back tears as BELL GOES DOWN! Cat out before she hits the canvas - and she hits canvas like a felled oak, stretching out on her face, hands gathered beneath her. KO5 in cataclysmic fashion - Katherine Heigl.

 

Afterward: Heigl yelping with delight, hops around, drops to her knees and bulls deadweight Cat over onto her back. Bell’s stablemate vixens leaping from their seats - Terry Farrell, Dani Fishel and Hilarie Burton rushing the ring - BUT THEY'RE BOWLED OVER BY THERON’S FLYING CROSSBODY TACKLE! Charlize hurtling in like blonde lightning - long golden body horizontal as she leaves her feet to take all three TE lasses down: all four women momentarily stunned on the floor as distracted security seeks to secure the floor/outside apron area, leaving the ring to Heigl and her conquered Cat. Bell aswoon, face relaxed, arms outstretched on her back as Heigl straddle-mounts her waist, sitting heavily in the curve of brunette belly. Cat's jugs lie helpless, widened by gravity, awaiting Heigl's tender mercies. Katherine consumed with jug-lust, rising up on her knees as she braces herself with the left mitt against Cat's sternum: Heigl starts a-pounding world-class brunette rack - big, juicy repeat right hands. Down and across, down and across - Heigl just reaming away hard-working rights, getting FIVE puppy-scrubbing beaut’s in before shifting weight to work repeat left hands while bracing with the right on Cat's ribs. Back and forth, back and forth: sweat beads up on Heigl's forehead and nose with the pulverizing effort. Leather put to jug as has rarely been applied before - a truly historic humbling of a once-dominant rack! Bell's head flops to the right, brow frowning slightly, lips parting, body just ashuddering from the pumping impacts! Outside the ring a wild donnybrook erupts as TE/KruZherZ/Security all entangled in one mindless romp. FINALLY, Heigl sits back on her haunches, hands on her knees - she blows a damp blonde curl out of her eyes and smiles a happy smile: sated at last with her flattened Cat.

 

6.) Hooters ‘Top 100’ play "Take the Beach" vs. NFL Cheerleaders.

 

Held at the Atlantis Resort, Paradise Island Bahamas; competitors wearing individual bikinis - not official cheerleader or Hooters uniforms (due to promoters unwillingness to pay exorbitant rights fees!) Special PPV TV event, attended by guests of the Atlantis seated in long bleachers. Competition pits 100 of the Hooters Bikini Contestants against 100 NFL cheerleaders on one of the resort's exclusive white sand beaches. Trademark orange and white barges offshore done up to look like Hooters landing craft; NFL cheerleaders await the attack at the shoreline.

Rules are simple:

 

1.) at least 25 of the Hooters girls must fight their way 100 yards up the beach to a designated victory zone - and still be holding the position when the 2 hour deadline expires;

2.) Cheerleaders may not pursue Hooter’s girls into the water;

3.) No punching or striking - just hard wrestling, pushing, tackling etc. (Nobody's supposed to get hurt. This is just a Lingerie Football/Battle of the Network Stars style T&A show.

 

This DVD contains nearly 45 minutes of video highlights of this event including:

 

The Hooters awesome initial assault on the beach. Buxom, bikini'd lasses sloshing through waist-high water - jugs a-swaying - voices shrill as they scream out on attack. Nice jiggling collision as the cheerleaders' line bows under the initial impact, then firms up and holds at the shoreline. Countless individual contests with pushing, grappling and struggling erupt as the line extends in either direction down the beach. Several two/three against one contests pretty rough and neither side is bashful about pulling, tearing or ripping bikinis to shame opponent into retreat to shelter of a protected ‘wardrobe malfunction area’ for hurried repairs/costume change.

 

Early repulse.- Cheerleaders get the better of the first push, eventually throwing the Hooters vixens back into the water. Close-ups of breathless Hooters vixens, standing knee deep in crystal blue water, hands on hips, chests heaving, wet hair plastered to glistening backs and shoulders, brows frowning. Several unable to get to ‘wardrobe tent’ for repairs holding suits together with one, both, hands. Several sporting bruises, many tearing from pain, embarrassment or shame. Lots of discussion going on, but not much organization. Cheerleaders forming up chorus lines and kicking their legs at their opponents, flinging sand and water as they taunt and jeering derisively - in unison. Small groups of the cheerleaders putting together impromptu routines to further demoralize the frustrated Hooters vixens.

 

Scattered, disorganized attacks. Small, disorganized groups of Hooters girls try to force their way through the NFL defensive line at various points up and down the beach. Small penetrations, some up to 10 yards in depth, are met by firm cheerleader resistance, then slowly turned back. The Elite Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader dance-squad forms a kind of mobile fire brigade; rushing to various pockets of activity where, acting as a cohesive unit, they help stymie any Hooters advances.

 

Penetration of the cheerleader left flank. An athletic Hooter brunette in white bikini and startling six pack abs breaks through and sprints some 25-30 yards up the beach, but then is run down from behind by several cheerleaders who swarm her like hungry wolves. Thin line of Hooters girls follow - maybe 10 in all, strung out various distances behind their leader. The Dallas Fire Brigade swings into action to relieve the cheerleaders desperately trying to bog the Hooters girls down. Unfortunately for Hooters - the penetration isn't reinforced or supported - most of their girls are strung out down the beach, wasting their efforts in uncoordinated attacks against a united cheerleader front. The Hooters girls who do manage the breakthrough dig into the sand and refuse to be thrown back - tying up the Dallas dance-squad for the remainder of the game with a series of mindless, pushing-and-grunting contests, body-on-body; some VERY rough action between fit young women make this sequence among the best ever filmed!

 

Various shots up and down the beach. As the afternoon progresses - a lot of Hooters girls are just standing in the water, wiping bleeding noses, smoothing back wet hair, and griping: they've gotten their asses kicked and don’t seem anxious to keep trying the cheerleaders. Cheerleaders remain effervescent; those not currently engaged clapping, marching in formation, singing and chanting to encourage their comrades. Morale clearly much higher on the NFL side of the high tide line. Several shots of two or three NFL cheerleaders holding a beaten Hooter girl by wrists and ankles, swinging her back and forth as they give her the old ‘heave-ho’ into the surf. Much mirth and high-fiving among the cheer-vixens.

 

Internecine bickering and finger-pointing amongst the Hooters contingent. Only about half of the Hooters girls are still trying hard, and the other half is sick of the goldbricking. Back on the landing craft, a few Hooters girls are being treated for minor scrapes and bruises - all looking dejected, shopworn and beaten. Stark contrast with the unison-clapping of the cheerleaders; constant shouting and carrying on.

Fistfights break out as tempers flare! Late in the contest, frustration rises and some fights break out. Members of both teams sent off for striking; more Hooters than Cheerleaders are penalized and the video clearly shows the cheerleaders won many more of the fights than they lost.

 

Siren blares to end the contest. Cheerleader-squeals fill the air and groups of girls cluster together, jumping up and down and shrieking in triumph. Camera pans embarrassed and worn-down Hooters waitresses - some wiping tears, other standing waist-deep in the surf, pursing lips at the over-the-top cheerleader celebration.

 

Individual Challenges Issued. As a result of several brawls on the beach, individual challenges were issued by some of the combatants. That night, after the cheerleaders victory party, eight girls met on the beach to settle their differences in four fights; held in a circle of spectators composed of women from both camps.

 

Fight One: The athletic Hooters brunette with the white bikini and six-pack abs easily beat a chesty blonde Minnesota Vikings cheerleader, forcing her to submit after a couple of minutes. Apparently this was retribution for the cheerleader pulling down the brunette’s bikini bottom as she and another NFLer wrestled the brunette down right in front of the cameras.

 

Fight Two: A black Philly Eagles cheerleader tore apart a Jersey Hooters waitress. Several cheerleaders explained they had a previous history as for several years both had been dating the same woman.

 

Fight Three: A leggy Dallas cheerleader and a Hooters girl from parts unknown really got the crowd going with a knock-down, drag-em-out-by-the-hair, bitter battle that lasted nearly five minutes. In the end, the Cowgirl left the Hooters girl tits up in the sand out cold! Then she and the Eagles cheerleader went off to party together to celebrate their victories.

 

Fight Four: A Seattle Seahawks and a Washington Redskins Cheerleader settled a longstanding feud between them in the only intramural fight of the night. Seems they’d had a fight after their teams previous game and then had gotten into a brief scuffle that afternoon over which one got to kick the ass of a Hooters waitress. In a brief, but bitter battle, the Seahawks cheerleader stripped the Redskinette, beat her black and blue, then lead her around by the hair, forcing her to crawl on her hands and knees and admit her superiority.

 

In an extra fight: As they crowd was breaking up, the Hooters brunette who won the first fight got jumped by two of her Viking victims Minnesota teammates. They beat the Hooters Honey down to all fours, kicked her until she dropped and then dragged her into the woods by the heels. There, they must’ve done some - possibly unspeakable - things to her (judging by the screams and moans reported by ear witnesses). All in all, it was a pretty good day for the cheerleaders all ‘round