Posted by Simguy on 12/1/2006, 7:18 am.

Before: Movie-star sunglasses at the end of her noses, gives Playmate a dismissive once-over before addressing huge press gallery: “Looks to me like Carmella’s already freezing up,” pause for fawning laughter, then Dunst continues. “I think we all saw the real Carmella Decesare against Aniston--I mean really: I don’t know whether to punch her, or sign an autograph for her. I’m sure this girl can kick bunny tail with the best of ‘em--but that mansion crap doesn’t play in the big leagues.”

Decesare fuming at the red-carpet being rolled out for Dunst: HBO making no secret that it wants Kirsten to commit to a multi-fight deal--cable giant really wining and dining the blonde while all but ignoring the brunette in this tussle. “They’re making me feel like I’m just the bikini in this bout,” Carmella complains to sympathetic ears at Celebrity Ring magazine. “I’ve been a good soldier for HBO, I’ve paid my dues, but as soon as Kirsten shows up, it’s like I’m not even  there. I’m not rolling over for her--she may be a big star outside the ring, but when it’s just me and her, I’m gonna do something about that swollen ego problem of hers.”

Carmella in pink white-belted bikini; white aerobics shoes/socks; white gloves. Dunst in cotton two piece--baby blue bottoms with white waistband, pink sport top; white aerobics shoes/socks; white gloves.

During R1: Rangy, slinging action, both girls loading up, leaning in right hands with slugging abandon. Both very negligent with the off-hand--letting it flare out to the side or drop to the thigh. Footwork and balance also carefree--back (right) foot sliding forward after right hands are thrown: crowd-pleasing and dangerous, but sloppy two-way. Final minute. It’s Carmella who pays the price: she misses her right hand, feet coming parallel; Dunst leans into a clapping right, swiveling Decesare’s head and sitting her down, neatly exposing the brunette;s bad foot-position. Carmella up quickly, blushing at the knockdown--Dunst showing dimples as she preens in her corner at the bell. Break: Carmella getting a stern talking-to--trainer berating her for “clowning” with Kirsten and getting caught up in Dunst’s mind games: “She wants to showboat--let ‘er showboat. You get out there and act like a freakin’ professional!”

R2: Carmella smartens up: hands up chin tucked, nice wide stance as she pivots the heel of her front (left) foot. Not so Kirsten--Dunst with a good jab gathering dust in its holster--she’s just flinging heavy, sloshing rights at Carmella’s head, looking for another knockdown. Decesare circling clockwise, pinging out an elastic jab from her shoulder--nice rangy action on the poke, finding and knocking at Kirsten’s brow. Round progresses--Carmella able to slide in limber right hands off the jab, slapping little forget-me-not hooks across Kirsten’s mouth. Blonde upright, shipping a little face-spank and looking sour about it as Decesare boxes up at the points.

R3: Similar stuff from Decesare--all sinewy, lithe movements--punches thrown with relaxed shoulders and supple torso-twists into the delivery. Jab elastic, landing heavily when she can get the distance, pushing off the ball of the right foot for jolt. Dunst looks to have no game-plan--lots of fierce, looping right hands, but no jab; headhunting, but no body; blonde’s lack of competitive rounds this year really showing up as Kirsten can’t find the range in the third.

R4: Carmella setting in: jab really touching Kirsten with thump now; easy sinuous clockwise pivots turning Kirsten midring; slinging right hands landing with telling authority--Carmy leaning in and down, punching Dunst’s insolent face hard to starboard with increasing ease/ Dunst really unraveling--cocksure posturing all gone, face puffing up--she’s just too upright, too available for Carmella’s punching, and when struck, Kirsten’s unable to answer. Dunst starting to stumble, tottering forward as Carmella wheels clockwise, working behind the jab--nice relaxed, gangly stuff from Decesare steadily breaking her girl down. Midway point--Carmella steps in strong with the left foot, clouting a rangy hook across Krissy’s jaw; brunette right hand CRASHES in as Dunst is still staring from the hook and KRISTEN GOES DOWN! Gorgeous, slinging haymaker lands flush, stretching Dunst onto her back in starfished splendor: make it KO4 in spectacular fashion--Carmella Decesare!

After: Little bit of sauce from vindicated brunette as she grins back over her shoulder at blonde wreckage sprawled on the canvas--HMK won’t tolerate shovel-fulls of gloating like some houses--but Carmella definitely earned a wink-and-strut here.

“She thinks she can show up once a year and blow girls away,” Deceasare scowls, still baffled at Kirsten’s pre-fight ‘tude. “Honestly--she came in under trained and overconfident and I made her pay. I can’t think of another knockout I’ve scored that tastes as sweet as this one--I just hope HBO is watching: that;s their girl lying on her back over there--not me!”

Reposted by Archer 12/1/06.