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12 December 2015 Title Ch Miranda Kerr vs Gisele Bundchen

Page history last edited by Vassago 8 years, 3 months ago

ESPN INTERNATIONAL BOXING AFTER DARK

"QUEEN OF THE ICE HOTEL" TITLE BOUT

Posted by Lookout! Boxing & Vassago on December 12, 2015, 11:19 am

Queen Of The Ice Hotel Championship
Miranda Kerr (2-0, 2 KO) vs Gisele Bundchen (3-8, 3 KO)
(Downunder Boxing vs FCBA Free Agent)
Results: Lookout! Boxing / Story: Vassago

BEFORE: "For a while I thought Gisele Bundchen was like retired but then I watched the Asylum PPV one night and she smoked Serinda Swan into a puddle of hot mess not once but TWICE! Ouch! And all this when I considered taking Swan for a ride myself!", the current Ice Hotel champion Miranda Kerr indicates the fellow supermodel earned her big opportunity through the always tough Philadelphia route. "I still think Tom Brady is better at quarterbacking than Gisele's at boxing but hey, guess I'll need to tell her that personally tonight and well, my gloves will do all the talking!"

Meanwhile the Brazilian veteran was widely considered as the most hittable of all the FCBA supermodels until she shocked the order of merit by removing Serinda Swan from the lightweight title contention earlier this year. "Beat her once, it's a fluke, beat her twice, nobody wants to fight you anymore!", Gisele laughs off her phone being silent in the post-Swan upset reality. "But then comes Miranda Kerr looking to further extend her stay in the Ice Hotel. Well, good luck with that! Hanging around in Foxboro all the time made me really tough in these winter conditions, I kinda expected Kerr to take me to the beach but if she thinks a Brazilian won't handle the freezing cold, she's up for one nasty surprise! Didn't she hear about Adriana Lima or what? Just bring it on, bytch!"

So, both models kinda don't like each other and indeed the Brazilian samba might take over the Ice Hotel again. Miranda Kerr wears a dark green bikini set with black trim and golden gloves. Light brown hair in loose waves curled at the bottom. Gisele Bundchen wears a yellow bikini set and black gloves. Long blonde hair straight, tucked behind the ears. The fight is scheduled for ten rounds in the lightweight division.

It's freezing cold around the Hotel as usual and the Australian flag remains painted on the canvas with the ropes sporting a green & gold look. New theme is added with a set of boxing kangaroos mounted on top of each turnbuckle which even makes Gisele laugh: "She'll take them with her once I kick her outta here!"

Round 1:
Despite all the pre-fight confidence Gisele allows Miranda to dominate the opening exchange through surgical-like overhand loops that keep crashing into the blonde's face and stagger her in the middle of the ring. The response fails to slice the Aussie guard and the sheer production of the reigning champ is enough to shut Bundchen off in lethargic defense which is not exactly what the doctor ordered for her title ambitions. Even Kerr looks surprised by the sluggish demeanour of the Brazilian and suspects a trap somewhere along the way but she still rocks Gisele with a late left/right combo on the temples to wobble the challenger just a little too easily.

Round 2:
Miranda teases the fellow model with her arms dropped by the side in approach but Gisele shows enough range to slam a quick hook into the champion's nose and add an uppercut on the follow up to make Kerr think better off it. However Bundchen suddenly romps into a flurry of leather upstairs and slices the mitts with ease bumping the younger model back to the ropes after Miranda lost her footing while trying to deke away from the attack. Gisele switches low and buries a nasty jab on the navel before crashing into Kerr's chin that sags the champion on her heels and allows Bundchen to smack her across the mouth for a good measure... AND DOWN GOES MIRANDA crashing on her backside... epic upset in the making? The Aussie powerhouse should have never underestimated the lanky Brazilian who keeps it strictly business showing no signs of emotions especially when Kerr beats the count at eight and gives the challenger a really long look. She tries to square up to Gisele afterwards but falls into a counterpunching check and soaks up more facial punishment before she circles away into safety; Gisele guilty of not charging ahead into more damage.

Round 3:
Perpahs Bundchen believes it will take a lot more that just one early knockdown to remove Kerr from the Ice Hotel and she settles into another counterpunching display with the Aussie hassling her with a leather frenzy that bounces off the high guard far too often to bother the Brazilian much. It's obvious Miranda is keen to restore the aggressive factor but is handed a bulletproof target once Gisele actually shows some legs and weaves away from the close range battle to dominate the mid distance brawl. More missed punches from Kerr lead to Bundchen thumping her with single hands over the top and the champion has to yield real estate in the closing seconds with Gisele working the steady and very effective drill until the very end of the round.

Rounds 4 & 5:
It's all about Miranda trying to find the connection in close range but Gisele's footwork remains on top and prevents the champion from landing anything significant on the fast moving target. Talk about frustration reaching a new high for the otherwise invincible Aussie model who's not used to such a tactics that actually bring Bundchen a lot of success aided by brutally effective counterpunching that smacks into Kerr's face time and time again. Where was this Gisele all those years? If Bar Refaeli wanted to make the Ice Hotel bout personal and ended belly up, there's just no way Bundchen loses her focus and simply sticks to her plan of harrassing Miranda through sheer agility and counterpunching masterclass. Kerr wobbles badly a couple of times when her efforts find thin air instead of Gisele's flesh and a late hook on the liver area dumps the Aussie champion into a shrieking retreat just before half-distance mark.

Round 6:
Miranda can't believe how fast her opponent is across the slippery surface and perhaps someone watched too many tapes of Adriana Lima's fights here? Bundchen stands tall again and actually begins to show more aggression while the champion looks for a Plan B but hasn't found it yet when the blonde clobbers Miranda's brow ridges with an uptempo swing to reel her onto the ropes and bangs a belting series downstairs to pour more misery on Kerr's midsection. The champion has to clinch the rampant Brazilian but Gisele maintains her cool and allows the argy bargy to linger for a while before she whacks a cumbersome Miranda on the chin fighting her way through the guard. Miranda squeals in discomfort but can't shake the challenger off and remains in shut down mode resting on the turnbuckle after the bell.

Round 7:
This is a real nightmare for the Aussie model and she has to revert into "all or nothing" mode already to somehow throw the Brazilian out of the comfort zone. She finds enough strenght to actually match Gisele's efforts and for once the older woman make a wrong turn which allows Kerr to belt her across the liver area and add a quick uppercut riffle on the chin. That breaks Bundchen's guard for the first time in several minutes and has the Aussie thumping her upstairs and backing into the ropes in a familiar fashion. The Kerr train is back on it's tracks and Gisele applies a tight earmuff but leaves too much space downstairs and succumbs to the champion's number of strikes. Miranda turns up the heat punishing the midsection and when Bundchen drops her guard to protect the aching guts she gets nailed on the chin and bends forward into a brutal half-uppercut on the brow ridge THAT DUMPS HER ON THE SIDE moments later. Now we're really back into familiar Kerr territory and the Aussie shakes her glove in delight like this was her own challenge for the title rather than a routine defence versus an inferior opponent. Gisele sits down on her knees and allows the eight count before standing up and the clock expires before action could be resumed, a late comeback from Miranda puts her back into prime position to retain the Ice Hotel and now we're gonna see what's Bundchen really made of!

Round 8:
Miranda doesn't want to waste more time in a fruitless pursuit of the Brazilian who's caused her enough trouble tonight already! She bumps into Gisele's face with a jabbing menace and here's where the challenger's survival mode kicks in and results in a tight earmuff and some clinching efforts to try and shut the raging Australian down. Miranda takes it to the gut though and blasts the blonde onto the ropes where she leans on the fellow model and keeps driving forward amid Bundchen's scowling. A brief stalemate is quickly dissolved when Miranda barges into the cleavage and bends Gisele against the ropes; even a high jabbing counter fails to break the onslaught and after some heavy midriff follow up, Bundchen looks a little battle weary at the bell which treatens to keep the Ice Hotel in Miranda's grasp after all.

Round 9:
Kerr thinks her rival has flamed out and she's on her way to another Odette Yustman-like triumph in the dying minutes of the bout. But Bundchen has enough strenght left to force a brawling slugest with single punches bouncing off the guard far too often to make an impact anymore. Another clinching stalemate sends both models wrestling along the ropes but Gisele finds the kidneys to stick some leather where it hurts the most and leans on the champion to pinch her to the turnbuckle and then blast a cross on the mouth which spins Miranda to the side with a quiet yelp. More Brazilian strikes keep the champion trapped and it's Kerr suddenly in search for energy supply as Bundchen pounds her on the ribcage and makes her scowl; the fatigue very much a factor now and the late body assault was just what Gisele needed to force the decider. The scorecards are too close to call at this stage.

Round 10:
It's been a gruelling contest but Gisele scampers across the slippery canvas to find the opening hook and stick it against Miranda's brow ridge before a belting shot on the navel dumps her on the heels and unable to mount a response. Gisele jumps with an uppercut to the chin... make that two to shatter the high guard and then finds the haymaker on the brow ridge again leaving Kerr with a nasty shiner and bouncing off the ropes in hectic survival... not-gonna-happen... Bundchen puts all of her 5'11" into another cross hooking route and punches the guard off Kerr's mouth TO SEND HER SPIRALLING FACE DOWN ON THE CANVAS... and it's a massive shot that runs Miranda's tank dry... the champ remains spread eagle on the floor and can only get up on all fours at eight which is way too late to salvage this fight.... cue in another Upset Of The Year Candidate... KO10 and your NEW Queen Of The Ice Hotel - Gisele Bundchen!!!

AFTER: Gisele raises both arms in the air and plants her right foot on Miranda's butt sticking in the air to press her down against the painted Aussie flag: "You'll have to lick that off now, slut! Your reign is OVER!!!" Epic demise for the hitherto invincible model from Sydney leaves her on a crawling way out of the Hotel and she can't even ascend back to the throne sitting over the ice ring. "I'll mail you those butterfly wings of yours next week... or perhaps not! Call it my battle trophy now!", Gisele notices the green & black themed Victoria's Secret wings Kerr brought with her to leave them sitting on the Ice Throne upstairs. There are no ACB hired bodyguards to help the former champion out of the Hotel so Miranda is spanked on her way by the Brazilian champ: "Get your ass outta here and fast! It's time for a makeover! And take these... (she grabs all four toy kangaroos from the turnbuckles and throws them at the crawling opponent) with you!"

No Ice Hotel belt, no butterly wings but a set of toy kangaroos is all what's left from Miranda Kerr's reign. Call it the post-unlucky '13' syndrome as the 32 year old survived Bar Refaeli only to go down in her fourteenth fight across four divisions. And nothing will take away Bundchen's honor of being the first woman to take the Aussie model to the cleaners.

Gisele's back to the Philadelphia route afterwards which comes very much on time after the Eagles upset win over the Patriots last week: "Can't stand these people from Philly. First they make Tom mad and then they refuse to recognize my performance. Serinda Swan still rues the day she challenged me but I can't possibly ignore Brooklyn frickin' Decker walking around and saying she's the Supreme Model. Not in her wildest dreams! I'm sorry Adriana but the clash of the titans will have to wait until I knock some sense into that stupid Ohio girl first! So much for the Philly crew! Chip Kelly sucks even more than Greg Hardy and well, Brookie, I'm all over you now! Come here and walk the walk Ice Hotel style! Because this place is mine and I don't take "no" as an answer!!!"

Erin Andrews update: The fate of Miranda Kerr's VS butterfly wings remains unknown at the conclusion of ESPN's coverage. #KeepCalmAndSupportIceHotel.

Final result: Gisele Bundchen def. Miranda Kerr KO10.