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31 December 2015 Pink vs Gwen Stefani

Page history last edited by Archer844 4 years, 10 months ago

Pink 03.jpgGwen Stefani 01.jpg

 

 

Posted by Results: Lookout!/Words: Wiz on January 1, 2016, 12:59 am

 

BEFORE:

"I've been waiting for this for a LONG time," says Gwen with a lovely smile. "I expected this invite YEARS ago, back when Pink was fighting everybody in music she could find...but, somehow, MY phone didn't ring. And, tonight, you're going to see WHY."

"Gwen's a girl I've been meaning to sort out," Pink says with a nod. "And, I figure now's as good a time as any to get that done."

ROUND ONE:

O'Dell: "Back at ringside and that's 'Hollabackgirl' and that can only mean that the lovely singer of that song, Gwen Stefani, is on her way to ringside..."

McCarthy: "And, here's another typical Weirdo move. Bring in a 46-year-old for her first FCBA fight to pump up the record of one of your overrated Dancing Hookers, who, by the way, ducked me for YEARS, and, CONTINUES to duck me!"

Tess: "Aren't you retired? I'm losing track..."

McCarthy: "I'm...you...SHUT UP, WALMART!"

O'Dell: "Drink up, boys, but keep your eyes on the screen as Gwen is helped off with the robe to reveal a red bikini and an in-shape body..."

McCarthy: "She's plenty light on top, though..."

Cassie: "Because HER top is not full of SILICONE..."

McCarthy: "Scabbo, I'm WARNING you..."

O'Dell (sighing): "And, that's 'Trouble' you hear pounding through the arena, and here comes 'The Queen of Front Street', Pink!"

McCarthy: "I'd rather be Queen of Snake Island!"

Cassie: "Four thousand poisonous vipers and no people. I think that might be a place you'd actually be fit to rule..."

McCarthy: "I know someone I'm going to CROWN in about thirty SECONDS..."

O'Dell: "Let's concentrate on the ring, where Pinkness is being helped off with the robe by Jewel and Neve to reveal that black bikini with the white skulls she likes, and we're about ready to go. Time for some picks. Tess likes Pink. Mac?"

McCarthy: "Pink's an overrated coward, but even SHE can beat a 46-year-old rookie!"

O'Dell: "Cassie?"

Cassie: "I agree with Tess!"

O'Dell: "It's unanimous. Let's see if our ladies are right. Gwen setting up center ring right away and wants to get the jab going. She's got some height and reach on Pink and she wants to use that. Pink keeping the guard up, working forward like she does, slipping some jabs, dipping in close, banging a little body, then slipping back to the outside."

Tess: "Kind of surprised Pink keeps bobbing in and out. Once she gets past, she usually stays in there and works body..."

McCarthy: "Well, Pink isn't exactly a rocket scientist..."

Cassie: "Please let me know the first time YOU get a call from NASA..."

McCarthy: "SHUT UP, SCABBO!"

O'Dell: "Stefani having some success with that jab when they're at range. Gwen dropping in the odd right, but mostly working the left. Pink patiently moving the feet, finding a spot here and there and landing some solid shot when she does so. Both fighters definitely doing some recon here..."

Cassie: "But, neither's afraid to take an opportunity if it's there."

O'Dell: "Correct, and there's Pink slipping in again, putting a little leather around Gwen's belly button, then slipping out before Stefani can tie up. Gwen responding with the jab, landing a couple, scoring to the face. Pink with the guard high, slipping, dipping, picking off leather. Five seconds left and there's the bell. Very close first to Stefani."

ROUND TWO:

O'Dell: "Second begins with Gwen working the left jab again. She's working hard to keep Pink at range now, moving the feet well, very active with the left hand. Pink bobbing, slipping, dipping, getting inside, but Gwen immediately tying up, not going to let Pinkness work in close if she can help it."

Cassie: 'This is good strategy from Gwen. Do not want to bang bodies with Pink. That won't end well."

McCarthy: "Well, I could bang bodies with that overrated Dancing Hooker and it would end just FINE. Except that she keeps DUCKING me!"

O'Dell: "Speaking of ducking, Pink slipping under and around punches, closing again, banging a hook to the midsection, but Gwen tying up immediately and the referee in to break the pair apart. Stefani showing some nice footwork when they return to range. She's angling on Pink, keeping up a steady drum beat of left hands."

Tess: "Got to admit, Stefani's surprised me a little so far. Didn't expect to see work this solid."

O'Dell: 'But, you are, indeed, seeing it. Of course, Gwen's never fought in the FCBA before, but, she's had plenty of fights, and you're seeing the results of that experience right now. Gwen in a nice rhythm down the stretch, keeping up a steady work rate, and not allowing Pink to get anything done on the inside. There's the bell. Stefani easily in the second."

Cassie: "20-18 in favor of Gwen."

ROUND THREE:

O'Dell: "Third begins with more aggression from Pink. She's forward quickly now, banging body immediately, wrestling free of Stefani's clinches and thumping her to the midsection and ribs. Gwen tying up around the head, trying to slow Pinkness down, but the Front Streeter just keeps on punching."

Cassie: "I saw THIS coming. Pink's not going to get out muscled inside."

O'Dell: "She is not, though Gwen's giving it an effort. She's wrapping around the head, going so far as to trap Pink's head to her side, but the younger woman just keeps the punches coming, almost all body stuff right now, short hooks that are landing solid, even if there's not as much power behind them due to distance and the ties."

McCarthy: "Gwen shoving off and landing a nice combination as Pink works in. This is what Stefani needs to start doing, forcing distance."

O'Dell: "Definitely working on doing that, Mac, but it's hard to do against Pink. As we've seen so many times with Pinkness, very athletic, great feet, moves extremely well, almost always able to get past any defenses and get to her spots, and that's what she's doing here. Again, going body, banging away, forcing Stefani to try to tie her up. Final seconds tick away and that's the third. Competitive round to Pink."

Tess: "And she's cut Gwen's lead to 29-28."

ROUND FOUR:

O'Dell: "Pink again applying the heat here in the fourth. Gwen going to give ground now to try to maintain distance. Careful to turn and stay off the ropes. Pink still able to close and go to work, though, now working up and then down on the inside. Gwen responding in counter, but shoves off and squares back to punching range quickly."

McCarthy: "This is very good tactical stuff from Stefani. She wants to manage Pink's aggression here, and she's doing a good job of it."

O'Dell: "She is, but Pink still managing to get where she wants to go and get some leather home. Gwen keeping the exchanges short with a variety of tactics now, not just clinching, but also shoving, using back steps, whatever she can do to gain that distance she wants. And, Pink just as determined to close it and work inside."

Cassie: "I love fights like this, where both fighters want to dictate different terms. Leads to a lot of subtle, inside baseball type of stuff that can be fun to watch."

O'Dell: "And, this has definitely been fun to watch so far, no question about that. Both fighters have had their moments, neither's been able to impose will to this point. Twenty seconds left in the fourth. Pink ducking inside, working the ribs, nice uppercut to the chin. Gwen responds with a short hook, then shoves Pink off and lands a nice one-two. Pinkness ducks in, lands a right hook, and there's the bell. Close again to Pinkness."

Tess: "And, we're even at 38 after four."

ROUND FIVE:

O'Dell: "Fifth begins with a change in tactics for Pink. The Front Streeter no longer working forward. Instead, she's willing to stay on the outside and turn with Gwen. Stefani looking to get the jab on, Pink picking it off some, slipping it, getting to good spots and getting off in combination. Gwen firing right back with good flurries of her own."

McCarthy: "These are the best exchanges of the fight so far, Jenny!"

O'Dell: "No question. Pink using lots of head and shoulder movement to keep that jab off, not allow Gwen to range with it and set up the rights. Instead, it's Pink getting off first and in combination, but Gwen able to get plenty done in response, countering back with good, accurate fire with both hands."

Tess: "Crowd getting into this thing as the work rate on both sides goes up and we're basically getting exchange after exchange..."

O'Dell: "And, they're getting sharper and longer as we go! Neither fighter slowing. Neither fighter backing down. Neither fighter covering up. Instead, it's just barrage after barrage as both fighters find the range consistently, but neither can manage to slow the other or force her to back up. BIG flurry there and both girls got their heads snapped back in that trade! Five seconds left! One more blizzard of punches and there's the bell! What a round and nothing in it!"

Cassie: "I've got it even, too, Jenny, and that makes it 48-48 at the half."

ROUND SIX:

O'Dell: "Second half of the fight underway and with the fighters boxing at range. Stefani wants to use that reach advantage, pop the jab, set up the right hand. Pink a lot of movement, high guard, dipping and ducking, getting to spots and getting off. Both fighters absolutely VICIOUS on the counter. Any punch results in a heavy response..."

McCarthy: "And, again, the crowd really getting into this, Jenny! Lots of leather flying back and forth."

O'Dell: "And, while both fighters are able to slip and block some of it, lots is also getting through. Pink backs Gwen up a step with a solid right hand. Stefani responds with a three-punch combination and DOWN GOES GWEN! DOWN GOES GWEN! Right hook from Pink drops Stefani to her back!"

Tess: "Pink landed that CLEAN. This thing is OVER!"

O'Dell: "Stefani flat on her back, arms out wide, legs akimbo. Count at three. Four. Five. Six. Gwen not moving at all. Seven. Eight. Nine. TEN! It's over! And your winner by KO6 in one-punch fashion is 'The Queen of Front Street', Pink!"

Cassie: "Let's check that knockout punch on replay. Watch as Pink ducks the third punch in the combination, steps forward and then LAUNCHES that right hook right over Gwen's left shoulder. Look at the head swivel. Stefani's out before she hits the canvas, and she's still out ON the canvas right now."

AFTER:

O'Dell: "Let's go up to the ring and Tess Valmore!"

Tess: "I have our winner, Pink, and, Pinkness, talk about that last punch..."

Pink: "Well, I tried working inside early, wanted to beat her to the body and wear down the legs, but, she clinched a lot and kept slowing things down, so, I decided to go ahead and box her..."

Tess: "And, you thought you'd get an opportunity for something big?"

Pink: "Oh, no question. I'm quicker, so, I knew there'd be openings. I was landing a lot of good stuff the last two rounds, and, that last one, I just timed her right and that was it

 

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