If you are citizen of an European Union member nation, you may not use this service unless you are at least 16 years old.
You already know Dokkio is an AI-powered assistant to organize & manage your digital files & messages. Very soon, Dokkio will support Outlook as well as One Drive. Check it out today!

31 March 2016 Antje Utgaard vs Amy Schumer

Page history last edited by Vassago 7 years, 11 months ago

THREE BLONDES & THREE BRUNETTES VS THREE BLONDES & THREE BRUNETTES AT THE ASYLUM

Posted by The Grand Wizard on March 31, 2016, 8:00 am

BEFORE:

"I've got to admit," says Amy with a smile. "I never thought I'd get a chance on the big stage. But, I've got one. And, I'm not going to waste it."

"She's definitely a full welter," says Antje with a nod. "She's got size and power. "She'll be a challenge. But, she's a challenge I'm up to."

ROUND ONE:

O'Dell: "Back at ringside and that's 'Beat Down' by Steve Aoki and Angger Dimas..."

McCarthy: "Angie whatnow?"

O'Dell: "Angger Dimas..."

McCarthy: "Angry Demon? That's a great name for a band. Angry Demon. I LIKE that!"

O'Dell (sighing): "That song, of course, from the soundtrack of 'Trainwrecked', and here comes the star of said film, Amy Schumer!"

Tess: "Schumer making her FCBA debut tonight, and, as I've said many times, no one has broken more fighters into the FCBA than Wiz..."

McCarthy: "That's because the only thing Weirdo likes better than a fighter without an FCBA WIN is one without an FCBA FIGHT!"

O'Dell: "Schumer into the ring and helped off with the robe to reveal a dark blue two-piece..."

McCarthy: "And a body WAAAAYYYYY too roly poly to be in 'Playboy'...."

O'Dell: "And that's 'Heads Will Roll' by Yeah Yeah Yeahs, and that means that the newest member of Front Street, 'The Scandinavian Stunner' Antje Utgaard is on her way to the ring!"

Cassie: "Antje is, of course, a girl Front Street is very high on. Big. 150 pounds. 5'10". And extremely athletic. Can bend over backward, grab her ankles, and roll into a ball, which is pretty flexible for a girl of that size..."

Tess: "Can YOU do that, BFF?"

Cassie: "I can do ANYthing."

Tess: "I don't doubt it."

McCarthy: "Excuse me while I throw up..."

O'Dell: "Antje into the ring and helped off with the robe by Jewel and Neve, and the crowd quite impressed with the awesome body in that Stars and Stripes bikini..."

Cassie: "Some people are calling this girl 'The Next Kate Upton', and, taking a look at her, it's pretty clear why."

O'Dell: "Ladies about ready to go. Time for some picks. Tess likes Antje. Mac?"

McCarthy: "Two girls with a total of one FCBA fight between them. Typical Weirdo. So, I'm picking AGAINST him. Schumer."

O'Dell: "Cassie?"

Cassie: "I agree with Tess!"

O'Dell: "And, there's the bell. Utgaard going immediately to the long left jab, but Schumer not having any. The blonde wants to close and bang here, getting right in Antje's face and thumping some body in close. Utgaard more than willing to play along with that game, and we've got some serious inside stuff going on."

Tess: "Not a surprise with two girls this big and sturdy."

O'Dell: "And, smart stuff from Schumer. She's got the size and power to stand toe-to-toe with about anybody. She can't match Utgaard's athleticism, though, so she's not trying to. Instead, she's just playing the power game, and, right now, she's playing it awfully well, giving about as good as she's getting in there."

McCarthy: "Neither fighter is having any problems shipping this punishment now, but, as time goes on, stuff like this adds up."

O'Dell: "No doubt about it, Mac. Invest now and you'll get dividends later. And, both fighters are getting a nice chunk of change into those accounts at the moment. Lots of leather hitting ribs, midsection, any open spaces between the bust line and the belt. Ten seconds left in a competitive first, and the fighters dig body to the bell. Close. Antje."

ROUND TWO:

O'Dell: "Second starts the way the first did, with Utgaard trying to establish that long left hand, but, again, Schumer bulling forward, crowding, and banging away at the body of the younger fighter. Antje shoving off, trying to get some space here, but Schumer simply not going to have it. The blonde standing her ground and getting her terms."

Cassie: "And, they ARE her terms. She does not want to box at range here. Utgaard too long, too athletic, moves too well. Amy needs to make this a slugfest to win."

O'Dell: "And, that's exactly what she's doing in the early going. And, let's point out that while the pair has exactly one FCBA fight between them, and that's Utgaard's, Schumer's fought at lower levels for several years, while Antje is just 20 and has far less experience between the ropes than the blonde does."

McCarthy: "And, you're seeing that difference right now. Schumer using that experience to her advantage."

O'Dell: "Coming down the stretch in the second. Another good, back and forth round being fought inside. A little more work to the head in this stanza, but not a lot. It's mostly body work and it's heavy, heavy stuff between two big, solid girls. Both have to be feeling it as we head for the bell. And, there it is. End of the second. Close to Amy."

Tess: "19 all after two."

ROUND THREE:

O'Dell: "Utgaard begins the third looking to move some. And you're seeing that athleticism now. Look at the feet. She's very nimble, especially for a welterweight. She's got the jab out and the feet moving, and she's causing Schumer some problems tactically for the first time. Amy still wants to close, but she's taking some shell to be able to do it."

Cassie: "And THIS is what you want to do if you're Antje. You may not be able to dictate terms the whole round, but pile up some points when you've got the ones you like."

O'Dell: "And, keep them as long as you can. And, that's JUST what Utgaard is doing now. Moving the feet, snapping out the jab, making Amy work hard to get in close. Schumer, though, both determined to do that and very busy when she gets inside. She's thumping away with both hands."

Tess: "And, Antje answering in kind. She's not shy about trading leather in there."

O'Dell: "With her kind of size and power, I wouldn't be shy about it, either. Schumer tying up now, wrestling around with the taller girl, shoving her backward, off balance, working the open midsection. Antje gets some distance, going to stick and move for the last few seconds of the round. There's the bell. Still somewhat close, but Utgaard gets the better of it."

McCarthy: "And, it's Antje up 29-28 after three."

ROUND FOUR:

O'Dell: "Schumer damning any and all torpedoes! She's after Utgaard immediately, bulling ahead, tying the younger woman up, shoving her backward, getting her off balance repeatedly inside. Antje, again, is very solid at 150, but Schumer may be five or ten pounds heavier, and, being shorter, has a lower center of gravity..."

McCarthy: "And, she's using it very well. She's got something going inside now. Utgaard getting shoved out of her stance."

O'Dell: "And getting opened up to power punches from Schumer like THAT ONE! A right hook and Antje wobbled! Amy winging away now and DOWN GOES UTGAARD! A straight right hand and Schumer sends the brunette to her back! Amy thrusting a fist in the air and heading to a neutral corner..."

Tess: "This thing may be OVER! That was a SERIOUS punch..."

O'Dell: "Count at three. Four. Five. Six. Utgaard sits up. Seven. Antje to her knees. Eight. Utgaard on her feet. She beats it. Referee will count out the mandatory and waive the blonde forward. Schumer wading in with everything she has. Antje backed to the ropes. Amy having at it. All head and no body now. Only 20 seconds to go but Schumer intent on finishing. Good right hand, Amy. Ten seconds. Antje tying up. Running clock. And there's the bell. Utgaard survives, but a big round for the blonde."

Cassie: "38-37, Schumer now."

ROUND FIVE:

O'Dell: "An absolute BLITZ from Schumer to start this one. Amy all in from the opening seconds. She's intent on finishing this thing while she's got the younger woman figuratively on the ropes, and, it doesn't take long for her to be put LITERALLY on the ropes. Schumer uber physical now, sitting down on everything, just firing BOMBS at Antje..."

Tess: "And, to her credit, the kid is taking this and still standing, but, for now much longer is anyone's guess."

O'Dell: "Can't keep up for long, because the blonde is getting some really heavy punches home clean. Antje up against the ropes and taking, jabbing back in spots, doing enough to keep the referee from stopping it, but, not much else. Amy pouring fire onto the brunette's positions, looking for the knockout blow..."

McCarthy: "BIG right hand there, but Utgaard took it and countered with a hard right hand of her own."

O'Dell: "If you're wondering how sturdy this kid is, no question about it now, because just about anyone outside of the welterweight division would be down and out by now. Final 30 seconds of the round, Schumer a bit arm weary now, slowing. Antje beginning to fire back in combination as her legs are slowly coming back. Ten seconds. Good right hand Utgaard and it's over. Schumer wide, but, again, Antje still standing."

Cassie: "48-46, Amy. She's taking control at the half."

ROUND SIX:

O'Dell: "Schumer right back to work in the sixth. She's bulling forward, pushing and shoving, getting Utgaard off balance, banging the body via the resultant openings. Antje firming up some now, seems to have shaken most of the damage of the last two rounds, but still having trouble holding her stance."

McCarthy: "Schumer impressing me right now, Jenny. If she'd have debuted here five years ago, she might have ended up winning the welterweight title."

O'Dell: "With as big and sturdy as she is, it might not be too late. Amy using the shoulder to force Antje back. Utgaard responding by tying up, trapping Schumer's head, then banging away with the free hand to the body. This is some seriously physical stuff right now. Two big, strong girls just having at it."

Cassie: "Certainly not much finesse to it right now, that's for sure."

O'Dell: "But, both fighters getting some work done on these terms. It's good, two-way stuff with neither blonde nor brunette being able to take control. Coming down the stretch. Body work and more body work. Tons of investment already, but neither fighter wilting or looking like doing that any time soon. Ten seconds left. One final tie up and there's the bell. Close to Schumer."

Tess: "And Amy's now built a comfortable lead, 58-55."

ROUND SEVEN:

O'Dell: "Back to action and Utgaard back to moving the feet and trying to get that long left hand home. Schumer wants to close, but Antje not letting it happen, now. She's using the quick feet and the jab to create space, and she's picking off Amy as she tries to close it. Schumer getting touched up a bit as a result."

Cassie: "This is good stuff by Antje. A lot of times, a girl without a lot of experience will press when she gets behind, try to get it all back at once. And, usually, the result of that is getting further behind. Utgaard not doing that..."

O'Dell: "She is not. She's gotten right back to the game plan and is making it work. She's not looking to be in a hurry. And she's dictating terms as well as she has the entire fight. And SHE JUST ROCKED SCHUMER! Utgaard hurt Amy with a right hand! The blonde's sturdy legs gave a shimmy, and NOW Utgaard is pressing, winging away with both hands..."

Tess: "Getting a little sloppy now. Missing quite a bit."

O'Dell: "That, she is, but she's landing some, too. She's got Schumer in full retreat and she's cleaning up on the blonde as she traps her against the ropes. Now it's Amy proving plenty sturdy as she takes some punches that would put a lot of other girls down and shakes them off. Final seconds ticking away in the seventh, and Schumer going to survive it. There's the bell. Antje's round wide."

McCarthy: "But, Schumer still ahead 67-65."

ROUND EIGHT:

O'Dell: "Utgaard right back after Schumer to start this one. Amy trying to hold ground, but can't get it done. Antje bringing the power and she's backing up the blonde. Amy may not have the legs all the way back under her, but, either way, the younger fighter taking full advantage. She's getting the left hand on regularly now and using it to set up big rights."

Cassie: "Utgaard again not getting impatient here. She's working steadily and soundly."

O'Dell: "And, she's in control. She's got Amy on the defensive. Schumer backing and countering, looking to walk Antje into something, but the brunette not having any of that. Instead, she's putting punches together as well as she has the entire fight and THERE'S A RIGHT HAND AND DOWN GOES SCHUMER!"

Tess: "That was a CANNON shot!"

O'Dell: "Amy blown right to her back. Antje to a neutral corner. Count at three. Four. Five. Six. And, Schumer actually shaking this off! She's going to beat this! Amy on her feet at eight and I have no idea how. Referee going to give her the mandatory and waive on Antje. Utgaard forward and she ROCKS SCHUMER AGAIN with a right hand! Amy wobbled back into the ropes, but there's the bell! Round ends before Anjte can do any more, but this fight has turned around, Mac!"

McCarthy: "With one punch. We're even at 75 with two to go."

ROUND NINE:

O'Dell: "Ninth begins with Utgaard looking to come forward and Schumer immediately tying her up. Amy has to still be feeling some of the effects of the last round, Mac, and it looks like she's playing for time here."

McCarthy: "Smart move. Anybody's fight right now, and I'm sure her corner's told her that."

O'Dell: "And, we're right back in the trenches. We've got a wrestling match breaking out as both fighters are pushing and shoving and clinching in there. Utgaard clearly getting a little frustrated. Trying to shove Amy off, but having little success. Schumer tying, clinching, thumping some body, all while Antje tries to work free."

Tess: "Corner shouting at Utgaard to get some space. Use the legs. Give some ground if she has to. But, she's determined to win this wrestling match in here."

O'Dell: "Only, she's not winning it. Schumer is. Amy, again, a girl with a lot more ring experience, even if it's not on the FCBA level, and she's proving very adept at clinching and hitting and slopping punches inside. Utgaard getting a lot less work done, as she's spending most of her time trying to break free of all this clutching and grabbing in there. Final seconds of the ninth ticking away and there's the bell. Schumer's round. No question."

Cassie: "And, Amy's back in the lead 85-84."

ROUND TEN:

O'Dell: "Tenth beings with a complete 180 of the ninth. It's Schumer who's coming forward, but Utgaard now back to moving the feet. She heard it from the corner in a big way between rounds. Move. Use the jab. Do NOT get in there and wrestle with her. And Antje taking that lesson and putting it to use now."

Cassie: "And, it's a good thing she's doing so, because she needs this round."

O'Dell: "Schumer determined to close, get some leather onto Antje's body. But Utgaard not allowing it. She continues to jab and move for distance and SHE DROPS AMY AGAIN! A BLISTERING right hand from Utgaard and Schumer crumples face first to the canvas!"

Tess: "That was another absolute BOMB! This girl hits like a TANK."

O'Dell: "Count at three. Four. Five. Six. SCHUMER TO HER HANDS AND KNEES. Seven. Eight. Nine. Amy beats it again! No idea how this girl keeps getting up, but the blonde taking the mandatory and the referee going to let it continue. Utgaard forward behind the jab. Schumer backed into the ropes and taking. Thirty seconds left in this one and we've got a BLIZZARD OF PUNCHES FLYING! Utgaard trying to finish, Amy trying to land something huge! Philly crowd on its feet. Ten seconds. Five. BELL! And it's over! Ladies fall into one of those hugs Mac hates so much..."

McCarthy: "This isn't tea and strumpets. It's BOXING..."

Cassie: "Well, there's ONE strumpet I can think of..."

O'Dell: "Mutual appreciation for a heck of a fight. Decision coming back, and it's unanimous. 94-93 for your winner by UD10, 'The Scandinavian Stunner', Antje Utgaard!"

AFTER:

O'Dell: "Let's go up to the ring and Tess Valmore!"

Tess: "I have our winner, Antje Utgaard, and Antje, that was some fight!"

Antje: "I have no idea what you have to hit her with to keep her on the canvas! I mean, I CLOCKED her with some punches that would have had a lot of girls waking up tomorrow morning, but, somehow, she kept getting up. I got her down enough times to win, though."

Tess: "Obviously, she's very physical."

Antje: "Very, and that's one of the reasons this fight was made. That's the kind of division welter is, and management wants me to get used to fighting girls like this. I'm big enough and strong enough and sturdy enough to do it. And to win doing it."

Tess: "What's next for you?"

Antje: "Just keep working. Keep learning. Stay active. Get better every time out."