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1 April 2016 Nikki Bella vs Lindsay Lohan

Page history last edited by Vassago 4 years, 8 months ago

 

JMD(D) QUEENDOM II: GINNY'S ACADEMY VS LOS INGOBERNALES STABLE WAR PPV

 

Posted by Academy & Los Ingobernales on April 1, 2016, 8:36 am

 


Nikki Bella (FCBA 4-0, 4 KO; Other 1-1, 1 KO) vs Lindsay Lohan (FCBA 47-30-1, 40 KO; Other 0-3)
Bella: (32y/o, 5'6”, 130#, 36C) v Lohan: (29 yo; 5'5”; 32D; 115#)
(Los Ingobernales vs. Ginny's Academy)
Result: Lookout/Story: Floatzelclub (Los Ingobernales) + simgrrl (Ginny's academy)

Bout #5 of the Los Ingobernales-Ginny's Academy Stable War. The score is 2-2 (Liz Olsen and Blake Lively for The Academy; Charlotte McKinney and Natalie Eva Marie for Los Ingobernales).

BEFORE: Lohan no stranger to facing bigger (taller/heavier/both) women, so Nikki Bella's not an unusual opponent. Plus, Lohan's had the advantage of not only witnessing Bella's demolition of her stablemate Elizabeth Olsen last month, but she's had plenty of time to sit with Olsen and go over the video, frame-by-frame.

Unfortunately, LiLo's takeaway is that Bella's a really, really, tough fighter whose skill set is almost the exact one she needs to counter Lohan's own highly successful skills. Experts agree.

“It's going to come down to 'will to win',” Tractorpull's in-house analyst analyzes. “In that battle, I'm sorry, but I'm going to go with Bella. She's been through battles - OK, it was wrestling - but that mental toughness when the going gets tough should stand her in good stead.”

“How can you not like LindsLo,” Boxing Online writes, coining a new nickname in the process! “She's a multi-time JMD champion and, when the tits are down, I always bet on freckles to come out on top.”

“Who knows? Who cares? Why am I even here?” Succinctly put. Internet's “CeleBoxing” analyst (aka “Jim Stockdale”) the pseudonymous writer assigned to cover 'lost causes and third party political parties' for his borg (a half-alien 'blog'?).

Guess that covers it...unlike Lohan's 'ittsy-bittsy-teeny-weenie bikini' (only thing missing are yellow polka dots). When it comes to JMD's, nobody puts hers out there like La LiLo. Say what you will about her... well, about her just about anything... but when it comes to laying on the line, Lindsay Lohan's “all” is always on one line or another.

Tonight, Lohan's 'not so ittsy bits' are hanging out of a gorgeous, designer (name withheld by request) string thong, with hip ties and a stretchy, expand-o-matic top almost guaranteed to be coming off, win or lose.

Nikki Bella can't hope to compete in 'pulchritude' so she goes for 'flashy' with her nickname, 'FEARLESS' and lightening bolts, plus red, green and gold trim, also a red headband - God knows what color underwear...although it's even odds we'll find out before tonight's over! Black gloves, black shoes, black knee socks all to match her black hair and heart! This is one dark dame!
* * * *
During Round 1: Nikki cornered by Stephanie and Hayley while it's Charlize and Jennifer on Lindsay's side. Since the stables are tied, a win here by either woman could signal the first sign of a final victory in the war, and the weight of that responsibility is definitely felt by both Nikki and Lindsay. The two fighters come out of their corners slowly, then Lohan dives in first with a light one-two combo to Nikki's jugs. As soon as Nikki pulls guard and steps forward to strike back, Lindsay takes a step back - fearing Nikki's power that knocked out her stablemate last month. Nikki decides to test her luck and throws a right hand to Lohan's guard, which Lohan quickly ducks under and releases a jolt of punches in Nikki's breasts, stopped by a left hook to the side of Lindsay's noggin! She's clearly stunned by just how much power Nikki can dish out, and retreats to the ropes post-haste. Nikki takes her time in following as the round ends, firmly in Nikki's favor. Both corners are quiet during the break, with Stephanie and Hayley are a more cheerful duo than Charlize and Jennifer.

Round 2: Lohan starts the round off hot, using her speed to try and string together combos, starting with a jab to the jugs and ending with an uppercut to somewhere on Nikki's darling face. At least, that was clearly the plan, but before LiLo can execute it, Nikki smashes Lohan right in the stomach with a strong right hand! Lindsay's eyes go wide as the sheer pain sinks in her, a quick look of panic after in her bright eyes that Nikki catches for a split second. Using the opportunity, Nikki unleashes her left hand, alternating with both now pummeling Lindsay's belly area. Each strike only makes it harder and harder for her to breathe, and Lindsay has to go with either protecting her torso long term or protecting her head! She doesn't have to make a decision quite yet, as Nikki dives in for a clinch; not really even to take a second to recover, but really just to taunt Lohan. Both pairs of breasts smash into each other, with Nikki's "enhanced" tits smooshing Lohan's pair, leaving the film star to moan in pain through her mouthpiece. When the referee pulls them apart, Nikki wins back the advantage with a straight right blow followed by a left hook to Lindsay's abs, curling her over in agony! Nikki keeps firing away despite Lindsay's best efforts to block, not looking for a picture-perfect knockout, but rather wanting to make Lindsay 'quit to the body', or score a 'tummy KO'. Sadly for the Total Divas star, neither happen in this round, but she did open up Lindsay's torso for more damage, as well as won the round handily!

Round 3: Lindsay comes out of her corner more conservatively than before, keeping her arms down to deflect Nikki's hard gut check punches. Whatever she can't block, she steps out of the way of, like a game of cat and mouse. Nikki is proving to be a tougher opponent than ScarJo in the terms of how hard she can hit, so defense is imperative to LiLo! After a blocked wave of attacks from Nikki, Lindsay takes her shot to go on the offensive by lighting up Nikki's breasts with jabs! Learning from the first round, Nikki takes a step back to guard her treasures, which gives Lindsay a chance to throw a firm left jab right into Nikki's nose! This really makes Nikki regroup, as she defends herself by jabbing hastily, not wanting any more damage to come out in the round. Lindsay closes out her session with probing shots to Nikki's midsection, which don't faze her at all! In the end, Lindsay wins the round by a hair and leaves Nikki with a puffed up nose for her troubles.

Round 4: Now it's Nikki's turn to be wary of her opponent, given that it seems like last round was used to probe her strengths and weaknesses. Her suspicions were confirmed as soon as Lindsay throws a straight left punch right into her tit flesh, making her squeak in pain! Like the last round, Lindsay goes to town on the Bella Twins, but with more vigor now that she knows how vulnerable they are. Also like before, Nikki has to circle up and regroup, going into full recovery and backing away towards the ropes to protect herself. She can't move as fast as Lindsay due to a history of knee problems, which limits her options for defense. To protect herself, Nikki tries to go for a clinch, only for Lindsay to stop it with a one-two shot to her left breast! She nearly doubles over when Lindsay takes an extra second to prepare her patented uppercut. Stunned like a caged songbird, Nikki sidesteps the blow out of instinct entirely and steps right off of LiLo's vision. So, the moment Lindsay turns around, Nikki shoots a missile of a punch right to Lindsay's left cheek! Lindsay's jaw clenches on impact, and her eyes bug out when Nikki follows with a left hook to the side of Lindsay's body! Her butt is firm between the ring ropes, and her body relaxes against the cords. The bell rings right after Nikki's comeback, and the judges give Lindsay the round by a big margin - all because of the first 90% of the round.

Round 5: Unlike Natalie a few fights before, Lindsay is actually pretty good at keeping a straight face to start the round! She doesn't let the pain from the last few seconds of round 4 affect her - until Nikki swarms her to start round 5. Departing from her usual strategy, Nikki focuses on going waist-above for this part, hooking Lindsay with big right hooks and lefts to set up power shots to her breasts. The younger actress can't disguise her fear now, looking more and more scared with every punch that lands on her body. Her torso is a mix of white and crimson from bruises, and maybe a bit of blood. Lindsay gets a second wind when she sees her own blood coming around, as well as Nikki's nosebleed spilling on her firm top. She throws a left cross to Nikki's breasts, which ends up in a cross counter with Nikki throwing a left hook!

Lindsay lands first, but Nikki's shot lands hardest, with Lohan falling in a heap on the canvas! Ms. Bella puts her hands up right away and steps backward into a neutral corner while the referee checks on Lindsay. At the count of three, Lindsay starts to stir from being on her side and slowly rises to her feet, her eyes still focused on fighting by seven. The referee waves her back in, and the fight resumes! Lindsay tries to make a comeback from the knockdown, getting in some accurate facial shots to Nikki, but they end up going nowhere before the end of the round. A big win at the halfway marks for Nikki Bella!

Between Rounds: With it looking more and more likely that Nikki Bella will win here, Theron and Lawrence have had to leave for the Academy locker room to prepare for the next two fights (one of which will be coming up any minute). They're replaced in the Academy corner by Blake Lively and Jeri Ryan - now recovered from her defeat (and subsequent JMDing) by Eva Marie. Likewise, in Los Ingobernales' corner, McMahon and Atwell have also left, replaced by Natalie Eva Marie (dominator of Jeri Ryan) and Charlotte McKinney, who barely broke a sweat disposing of Cat Bell earlier.

Round 6: Both women come out hungry in the back half of the fight, wanting to finish the other off for the fight. Lindsay makes the first contact with a right hand to Nikki's jugs! But then Nikki retaliates with a speedy set of short uppercuts to her bruised ribs, pounding away like speed drills. The wrestler is thinking of how, if the Mean Girls star just had a spot more damage on her stomach, she won't get down next time! While Lindsay is still surprised that Nikki dodged her uppercut two rounds ago; if that was Katie Price giving the blow in January, Nikki would have been down for the count and far away from Lohan! Olsen gave away too much knowledge about the Academy house style back in February, she thinks!

Back to the fight, it doesn't matter what Lindsay thinks, but it does matter how she's doing! And right now, Nikki is in firm control of the fight, using her superior strength to bully Lindsay around the ring, pushing her away both with cracking belly punches and the fear of those same belly punches! Lindsay makes Nikki chase her around the ring, not getting caught up in one location while "accidentally" bumping into Nikki's right knee from time to time dodging past. The bell rings with Nikki in control strong, winning the round by a wide margin again!

Round 7: Nikki Bella, as in the last two rounds, takes control with ease at the start of the round with her usual cruise of belly blows and rib crackers, bullying Lohan around the ring. By this point, Lively and Ryan are looking very concerned in the Academy's corner, given how much of a beating Lindsay has taken throughout this fight! While they could throw in the towel (and Ryan is holding one in her hand just in case) but a loss of any kind by Lindsay means that BOTH Charlize and Jennifer would have to win their fights for the stable to win the war. Since the risk is less than the reward, Ginny orders Blake Lively to let Lindsay continue and crosses her fingers. Meanwhile, Nikki is just sailing through the round, toying with Lindsay, kissing her gloves before each punch. She's got Lindsay Lohan right where she wants her!
Lindsay regains most of her senses during this round and plays possum to Nikki's will for a while. Nikki isn't experienced enough to see it coming, and when she prepares for an exaggerated windmill punch, Lindsay pops a strong left hand into Nikki's breasts! And another with the right hand! She slowly makes a comeback, ripping Nikki's heart out her body in disbelief that Lindsay can come back from a beating as the crowd picks up in volume! Nikki lurches forward, body in full guard before Lindsay fakes a punch to her midsection and smacks one up the middle to her chin! Nikki turns out and crashes hard on her right knee, clutching it in pain as the ref counts!
Fortunately, she's up and limping at 4, pleading with the referee not to wave off the contest - a win for the Ingobernales counts as much as a win for the Academy. The round continues, and all that happens after is Nikki squeezing in another gut check before the bell. Lindsay won that round clearly because of that late knockdown, but is it worth it?

Round 8: Despite having the last word at the end of last round, Nikki Bella is still buzzed from the knockdown mentally, and her right knee has been messed up physically in addition to her dried nosebleed and battered breasts. Lindsay Lohan is no better; her gas tank running on empty and her torso a sea of scarlet bruises. Neither woman wants to fall in this tiebreaker bout, and both want to knock the other out to settle the score and put her team ahead! Lindsay's arms still move fast, so she has no problem outpacing Nikki on that front, but she loses out in close quarters. For her part, Nikki attacks as soon as Lindsay even gets in her space, leaving her body to take the punishment. After the first minute, with no other options, Nikki dives right into a right hand to get a clinch in. Aside from a breather, both women move their shoulders while tit-to-tit, testing again which pair is stronger. They both grit their teeth and try and follow through, overpowering the other - until it happens. Nikki's mouth goes wide as she feels that Lindsay's breasts are mushrooming her own pair! Unlike the 2nd round, she clearly lost this titfight!


While Nikki's movements are determined, wanting to show Lindsay up; deep down she knows that she's not good enough to win anymore. Her body parts are too damaged; her head, knee, breasts, and finally heart. The rushing right uppercut Lindsay sends up the pipe, piercing Nikki's bosom apart and landing full-on her chin is a respite. She is motionless for a second, before stumbling forward, eyes shut, about to collapse on her knees, her right cheek grazing Lindsay's destroyed stomach. Lindsay halts Nikki's decent, holding her tight against her body as if to show what she did to her during the fight, giving Nikki a chance to breathe. After a second Lindsay gently lets her down to the mat, her head cocked to the side, belly-first onto the mat, and all splayed out. The count is a formality, since the clear winner of this contest and the person setting her stable up 3-2 in the war is Lindsay Lohan, by KO8!
* * * *
AFTER: The first order of post-fight business is drawing to determine which fight will be next. Lindsay Lohan reaches in, hobbling a short while, to pull a slip for the ring announcer who tells the hushed crowd, “The sixth and semi-final fight will feature the team captains....” Cheers, jeers and groans of disappointment sounded equal from the crowd who'd expected these two would surely be the climactic fight to decide which team prevailed. But it slowly began to dawn on everyone that with the score at 3-2 in favor of The Academy, a seventh fight may not even be necessary...although it had already been announced it was going on regardless of whether or not it would matter in the final result.

Charlize Theron, a Hall of Fame fighter with a career total of more than 350 wins is positioned to close out Los Ingobernales a few minutes from now! Standing in her way is the hard-muscled - but vastly less experienced - queen of Los Ingobernales, Stephanie McMahon! And even if McMahon pulls some miraculous upset, Ginny's Academy hopes will ride on their rising young superstar, Jennifer Lawrence!

On the other hand, Los Ingobernales' hopes - already dangling by a slender thread - will be entrusted to a 33-year-old British import who was signed more because she was available on short notice than for her punching prowess, although she does have KO's in her last three fights.

But before all that happens, Lindsay 'LiLo' Lohan gets a chance to put on a show for her fans, something she not only loves to do but is renowned for thanks to her risque routines. While McMahon and Theron are backstage nervously completing their warm-up and pre-fight routines, Lohan is with the 'penalty girl' and her urn containing the last three 'penalty slips', using the poor girl as a crutch to hold herself up. Nikki Bella will pick one and find out what Lohan is going to do to her in front of thousands of fans and a live TV audience.

Nikki nervously takes one of the three envelopes on a knee, then on a last second hunch, she drops it back and grabs another instead. She hands it to the announcer, then closes her eyes and crosses her fingers, saying a silent prayer as she listens to her penalty read aloud, “Punching Bag Penalty: the loser helps train the winner for the upcoming JMD/JMDD Tournament, and will stay in service until it happens.”

“Punching bag penalty? What the hel....” Nikki gasped, her eyes opening wide as she whirls around, fists clenched looking for someone to hit! And Lindsay Lohan is standing right there. Nikki drew back her fist and was about to hit her, and would have hit her if she wasn’t so fatigued, when LiLo said, “Before you hit me you should listen first.”

Nikki hesitated, then realized hitting anyone, especially Lohan, would only make things worse for her. She relaxed for the first time since before the fight and as she listened to Lohan, she realized the next month had the potential to be a whole lot of fun!

“You and I can train together,” Lindsay said, holding up the 'penalty' slip, which all of a sudden didn't sound like such a 'penalty' to Nikki, at least not compared to some others she'd heard about. “Of course,” Lohan grinned, “I'll be wearing a chest protector to protect my precious, all-natural, bosom while we spar,” she said matter-of-factly.

Nikki nodded. It was a perfectly reasonable assumption - then again, anything is when you’re holding on to your opponent to stay upright. “While you, on the other hand,” Lohan continued, “will have your store-bought boobies, shielded from my flying fists by a $350, sheer lace, puppy-cupping, 'barely there' bra from the Victoria's Secret 'Sexy Kitty' line,” Lindsay smirked. “So we can spar and get each other ready for the rumored JMD tournament protecting my assets while toughening yours up. After what I did to them tonight, I'd say we'll be doing yours a favor,” she giggled. “They felt like they could use some toughening up!” Then she turned and walked away.

Nikki suddenly wondered if maybe she should've prayed for getting JMDed, or spending a week as Lohan's maid, instead. Natalie and Charlotte would be dying to wear something that unique, but for Nikki, the 'punching bag' penalty wasn't sounding all that great!

 

 

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