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1 July 2016 Jennifer Garner vs Stephanie McMahon

Page history last edited by Vassago 7 years, 6 months ago

 

OFFICIAL SSB PPV - JMDD BOUT

 

Posted by Lookout! Boxing on July 1, 2016, 5:30 pm

 

 

Results: Lookout     Writing: Archer

Jennifer:  44 YO; 5’8 (1.73 m), 34B, 89-31-1 since 2002, Foxfire Boxing

Stephanie: 39 YO, 5’9 (1.75 m), 34D, 5-3-1 since 2013, Los Ingobernales

Before: “All I did was rip open her blouse and show off her assets—such as they were—and a catfight followed,” Stephanie McMahon cheerfully relates. “I was kicking her prissy ass exquisitely when we rolled off the stage and stunned us both. Then those Security bonzos finally showed up to spoil the fun. Garner has this colossal ego (too bad her rack isn’t that inflated), and so I wasn’t surprised she agreed to fight me JMDD. Man, am I going to make her hooters honk! I want her to beg me to stop and then I’ll smother her out in classic ‘Los Ingobernables Style.' We may be a new outfit, but this will prove we fear no woman or no stable! I can’t wait to get at her.”

Jennifer Garner sits through this with a dull red flush on her cheeks. Finally, she gets her chance at the podium: “Stephanie has been trying to build up her reputation by taking on certain vulnerable veterans like Charlize Theron and Jeri Ryan. This war is about to come to an end. I may not be as fond of having my jugs mugged as Stephanie, but that doesn’t mean I won’t do it if it means I get to make her puppies howl. It’s time someone taught McMahon and the rest of her ‘unruly’ bunch some manners, and I’m proud it’s going  to me you do it!”

Rumor has it Garner has been working on her smothering technique with Claire Sinclair and Dani Fishel. (“We on our knees, silly,” Dani explains to a report who wonders about the height differential between the 5’8 Jen and 5’1 Dani. “Jen’s a quick learner. McMahon better hope she doesn’t lose because otherwise, she’s going to be on the wrong side of the post-fight!”

Stephanie is just laughing at this and running video clips of “Jen G’s Biggest Defeats” reminding the fans Jen is far from invincible. Such inglorious moments as Jen hung up on a turnbuckle having her breasts worked over by a triumphant Brittany Daniel (09/27/03), giving Charlize Theron a memorable Victoria’s Secret Saddle ride (01/26.08, being given walks of shame by Jamie Luner (03/09/02) and Shannon Elizabeth (05/11/02).

“I know some will call it an ‘ancient history’—but so is Garner’s reputation,” sneers Steph, “you see any of those pitiful fights she’d had since Biel ‘officially’ retired her in 2012? She couldn’t beat Arterton or Cuoco. What makes her think she can beat me—especially at my own game,” says the Los Ingobernales leader.

Jen tries to ignore the obvious attempts to distract, but it’s no surprise that every attempted press event turns into a face slapping, hair pulling clothes ripping brawl that has to be broken up by Security. Strangely, Jen more than holds her own in these catfight-ish encounters.

“If you ask me,” one seasoned observer tells Archer News’ Skip Tracey, “Steph has unleashed Jen’s ‘Inner Catfighter.' She better be prepared for what that’s going to mean.”

Come fight night Jennifer comes to the ring in a red halter top and matching short shorts. Black gloves and boots (red laces). Hair pulled back secured by a red scrunchy. Jennifer looks to be in solid physical condition—and she’s going to need as a robust-looking Stephanie enters the ring. Stepanie in a black halter top and short shorts. Black gloves and boots. She slams her gloves together in Jen’s face, but Garner just glares at her coldly. Referee nervously goes through the rules. Durable glove “touch” and the fighters go to their corners. The crowd is eagerly awaiting the bell. It rings.

R1: Stephanie McMahon shows to fear whatsoever as she charges across the ring and just starts hammering Garner’s halter top. Jen seems momentarily paralyzed by the sudden fury of Stephanie “Jugger-naut” attack on her proud rack. Stephanie going all out trying to smash the breasts flat with straight rights and lefts, flipping them up with uppercuts and the from side to side with left hooks and right crosses. Jen snaps out of this at last and wraps Stephanie up in a clinch to break up the attack. Stephanie then finds herself chasing Jen around the ring; she’s landing enough punches to keep Jen looking harried, but she can’t get her cornered and finished off. Stephanie wins the round by a shutout. Jennifer is looking more than a little dazed by the L.I. leader’s offensive power.

R2: Jennifer revived on her stool and came out ready to meet Stephanie’s latest assault. Steph can’t surprise Jen this round, but she shows her strength by trying to fight her way through Jen’s defensive jabbing. This mistake allows Jen to get her first leather into Stephanie’s halter top, but her breasts are coming under more fire from Steph, The two are going at it toe to toe. Jen’s to use some good feints to crack some shots off the McMahon jaw and make her wary of head shots; This allows Jen to make a late surge of breast punching that makes Stephanie gasp and back off momentarily. Just enough to allow the veteran to win a close round.

R3: Stephanie still willing to grind it out toe to toe with plenty of upper body punishment and Jennifer seems willing to oblige. However, Steph suddenly stops mugging jugg and going after Jennifer’s exposed head and face. Jennifer staggered by a powerhouse right that sends her spinning away. Stephanie savors the sight of a rubber-legged Jennifer Garner. Maybe a little too long:  as by the time she begins the pursuit only to encounter a well-organized defense from the veteran. Stephanie tries circling, looking for openings but not finding much, though she keeps sufficient control of the round to win it full on the judges’ cards.

R4: Jennifer is expecting Stephanie’s latest opening charge and greets it with a determined defense. Stephanie mixing head shots and muscular bodywork, but Jennifer gritting her mouthpiece to absorb the punishment as she counters hard to Stephanie’s belly, then works her way up smack uppercuts into Steph’s bouncing puppies. Stephanie is gritting her mouthpiece as Garner leather blasts into her sweaty flesh with a loud wet SMACKING sound. Stephanie getting slowly pushed back as the round ends and Jen gets a hard-earned, but close round to her column on the judges’ cards. Stephanie’s body must be humming from all the Garner punching she look, and she seems a bit shaky in the knees as she heads for her corner. Jen is stoic and determined marches to her corner.

R5:  Stephanie slows getting off her stool this round and Jennifer comes blazing in. The veteran is just bombarding Stephanie keeping her confused and weak on her counter. Jen bobbing, weaving, circling and nailing Stephanie from all directions. Although she’s bouncing Steph’s head around more than once, shereturns again and again to Stephanie’s battered body. Jennifer is pounding that belly meat, making Stephanie double up and the bringing uppercuts crashing McMahon melons. Stephanie starts to gasp and groan as this punishment wears on. Jennifer is grinning nastily reminding people why they called her “The Dimpled Destroyer.” Rounds end with Stephanie the shaken victim of a Jennifer Garner shutout round. Observers note that Stephanie never seemed in danger of going down: was that her being desperate or a veteran knowing how to inflict the maximum damage on an opponent for the longest time possible. Something to debate between rounds.

R6: Stephanie McMahon makes a heroic effort to pull herself together and get back in this fight. She gets in a couple of quick shots that catch Jen between the eyes and makes Garner hesitate. Stephanie then rams hard uppies into Jennifer’s breasts. Jen drops back, but then comes right back with a right to the mouth and a left right into Steph’s nose drawing blood. Steph reels back, and Jennifer hammers that belly. Stephanie doubled up, driven back to the ropes gets knocked back hard with an uppercut to the chin. Stephanie’s arms spread out to grasp the top rope, and this leaves her body wide open. Instantly, Jennifer Garner goes into a frenzied attack on Stephanie’s boobs. Stephanie’s knees buckle, but she is held up by ropes as Jen presses in with her all-out jugg attack. Then Jennifer suddenly steps back and lets Stephanie sag to her knees, arms wrapped around her ravaged chest and then toppling forward.  Jen retreats to a neutral corner as referee counts to ten. Stephanie tries to get up but ends up sitting against the ropes, cradling her chest as the count reaches “TEN!”

Jennifer Garner raises her right arm and grins to the cheering of her fans as she scores a KO6 over Stephanie McMahon.

After: Claire Sinclair, Alexandra Daddario, and Dani Fishel all rush into the ring to congratulate Jennifer Garner’s first win in 4 years of “retirement”. Jennifer eager to have her gloves removed and get across the ring to where Charlotte McKinney and Natalie Eva Marie are helping the corner crew brings their stunned leader around. Steph catches sight of Jen:

“Stand aside girls; the winner is here to collect,” Steph says with some defiance.

Charlotte and Natalie sullenly step back as Jennifer pulls Stephanie off her stool and carefully arranges her against the turnbuckle and then pulls her into a tightly held breast smother. Jen is moving her body so that Steph’s face is ground into the sweaty, wet darkness and the taste forced into her mouth. As unconsciousness overtakes Stephanie, her arms and then her whole body goes limp. Jennifer releases the smother and gives Steph’s body a nudge so that she crashes forward on her face. Jennifer then puts a booted foot on Stephanie’s bottom and raises her arms in victory. This is infuriating to Charlotte and Natalie, but Claire, Alexandra, and Dani have all come over and escort their leader back to her corner.

Later Jennifer says: “Sometimes if you stir up an opponent they’ll do something stupid, but I just waited and had my revenge in the ring with smart, sharp boxing. No, I realize I won’t be a contender, but I’ve got enough left to make the right opponent go crashing on her face. I loved this fight. I hope I can have another one like it soon.”

For her part, Stephanie McMahon seems more vexed than intimidated: “I will admit she got to me, but I know I was scoring with my power punches. Maybe I could have been smarter and worn than old cow down and make her quit. I look forward to someone doing that to her soon—and I hope it will be me!”
Great fight for fans of JMDD. Stephanie’s pre-fight antics ended up lighting a fire in Jen Garner and showed she’s still capable of fighting hard to victory. Stephanie got an unpleasant setback but seems undiscouraged. Could be exciting days ahead in the new JMDD sub-genre.

 

 

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