Lucy Hale versus Cassie Scerbo
(Flyweight Championship)
(Words: Bazz / Results: Lookout!)

Before: As the two fighters approach the podium there has already been one record set. There has never been more money spent on security at an FCBA title fight. Rumor has it that half of Delta Force has been mixed in amongst the crowd undercover. Meanwhile a couple of rabble-rousers try to test this security and up hanging from coat hooks in a very dark room in a very secluded room underneath the arena. A small herd of Bernie Sanders protesters make the unspeakable mistake of attacking the wrong Philadelphia arena and pay an extraordinarily high price after capture by some very burly and mean men. They are paraded around the arena having to wear Hillary Clinton autographed pant suits with stickers plastered all over them with various candidate slogans, not theirs. One of the protesters undoubtedly pinned through the skin with candidate badges with slogans like “Make my hair like Donald’s” or “I own a hundred Hillary pantsuits like this one” printed on them is heard bellowing “For the love of Bernie save us!” as he is dragged by the ringside crowd. Still these interruptions are being carried off by the Junior Varsity. Everyone knows that nothing is as sneaky, vicious and, well, downright snarky as a pack of FCBA flyweights.

“She’s been here before but not as a champion. She’s been the challenger and there’s a difference. I give Scerbo credit for getting here though. You ask anyone who has done it, win or lose. Still the difference between the two outcomes is like night and day. Well I’ve walked away the winner and so I am the champion and that’s not going to end today just because “The Scerbonator” has made the scene for another shot at the title. I plan on being another in a list of fighters that have beaten Cassie Scerbo in a championship match so let’s go!” Lucy Hale states it as simply and as plainly as she can.

“Sounds like there might be just a tad bit of bravado on display there.” Cassie Scerbo shoots back at Lucy Hale. “Listen we all fight hard in the FCBA, well maybe not Ellen Page but everyone else. With that being said up at the top of the food chain there’s various differences in talent but it comes down to who wants it more and tonight it’s going to be very hard to bet against me because I want this very badly.”

Lucy Hale in a white fighter bikini with the letters PLP written scross the back of the bottoms in dark blue script lettering. Matching dark blue gloves and boxing shoes complete the ensemble. Cassie scerbo in her traditional black bikini gloves and black calf boots. Both girls battle ready with slicked back ponytailed hair.

Both camps looking very tense as instructions are given and then with each fighter in her respective corners pacing non-stop as their handlers chatter at them. The crowd is at an overflowing momentum with the ring looking like a tiny white square oasis in the middle of a roiling sea of people. Sitting ringside with his requisite cooler chock full of PBRs and various Little Debbie dessert type items is The Wiz. He’s sandwiched between Beth Harnois and the vaunted reporter, one Bartholomew Chateaut de la Beaumont Alahandro Hay. The nerves within these three observers is as tight as can be found in either of the corners.

Rd 1 Scerbo out quick planting a couple of solid jabs right on Hale’s noggin. Hale backed up at the outset. Yet when Scerbo stepping in to throw a right cross gets the same back in jabs from Lucy. PLP wunderkind bops the Bazzgirl on the forehead sending her back in a stumble. Cassie covers up as Hale advances. Crowd excited as the action is coming early and often. Hale works the body with some low buggywhips to Scerbo’s torso as she presses her opponent to the ropes. Cassie fights back with some well timed punching that gets her off the ropes and back to center ring. Meanwhile Hale is just as comfortable out in space swinging away. She’s connecting on some of her punches but so is Scerbo. Two minutes into the brawl and the fight has become a good old fashioned flyweight blur. Both fighters are quick and able to strike where it hurts. Crowd is roaring its approval as Scerbo and Hale are now toe to toe slinging hammer and tongs. The bell rings with the slight edge to Hale after her successful aggression at the outset of the round.

Meanwhile the flyweight network is buzzing with tweets flying in from all different handheld devices.

“Why do I get in such a bad mood whenever I have to watch a Scerbo fight. She just ain’t right.” #Haydenisgorgeous.

“She blew this round. She looks nasty with dark hair. She should shave her head.” #Haydensmellslikeabutt #Hudgyisgorgeous

“Why do you meatheads hate everyone so much?” #Shahiincharge

Rd 2 Cassie out with renewed aggression. She wants control of this fight and she starts out with some strong jabs right at Lucy. Hale trying to block the quick lefts coming in from Cassie misses a sidearm right hand that lands on the torso. Hale cringing steps back to the ropes where Scerbo starts pouring it on. She’s landing punches to the head and body while Hale does her best to cover up from the onslaught. Suddenly it’s all jugs all the time as Lucy endures a rapid fire two hand assault on her jugs which brings the crowd to its feet hungry for anything juggy. Scerbo steers Hale into the corner and gets into a serious scoring spree with a number of very effective combinations. Hale on the defensive as the punches rain down. To make matters worse as is often the case Scerbo’s quickness is proving to be superior to her opponents. Her hands are getting to spots before Hale can react. As the bell rings it’s readily apparent that Hale has gotten a full dose of Cassie Scerbo’s ability in this one sided round.

Ringside, The Wiz is eating Little Debbie’s at an ungodly pace as he watches what is quickly becoming quite the battle. Beth looking on with a worried expression not knowing how many of the sugar bombs The Wiz has in his cooler arsenal. Meanwhile the Tweets continue:

“I can’t believe that she may win this. Is there some way we can stop it with one of those nuclear thingys?” #HaydenhotHudgynot

“You would explode a nuclear bomb to keep Scerbo from winning the title? Have you gone daft?” #ShahiShocked #Panny’sGoneMad

“Well it was just a suggestion. I’m only spitballing ideas.” #HaydenInRetreat

“Nuclear bomb? That would be your breath and that gas that comes out of your butt, you Nashville Knucklehead.” #Scerbopuddingsucks #Hudgens#1

“Shut up Pudgy! Scerbo is right! You are pudgy!” #Haydenslimandsleek #HudgyFudgyandPudgy

Rd 3 Cassie Scerbo is taking nothing for granted as she comes out punching. She’s continuing her barrage, all over Lucy Hale with jabs and precisely landed combinations. Hale snapping back with her own defensive punches hoping to get the Scerbonator off her back long enough to mount her own offensive. Scerbo pounding away with desperate momentum when one of Hale’s right hands lands to the ribs and settles Cassie down. Lucy pushing back like a little bully. She slaps Cassie with a couple of jabs and just like that it’s Armageddon all over again. The two flyweights toe to toe. Scerbo hits Hale with a left jab that slows down her advance but Hale right back with a series of punches to the body. Scerbo dodges most of it and sends a quick right hand back to Hale’s face. Hale ducks back responds with her own right hand. Each girl throwing bombs at a furious pace as the round comes to an end with Cassie on top again. The crowd is going bananas as both girls have to be forcefully separated by the referee. Gladiator school is open for the rest of this fight.

Rd 4 It seems that neither girl will be walking away from this championship unscathed. This fact becomes obvious when they meet at mid ring and the rapid fire gunning begins again. Scerbo hits first with a jab rocking back Hale’s head. As if nothing happened Lucy hits back with a right hand to the torso that Scerbo endures while she jabs at Hale’s head with insane quickness. Hale under withering pressure ducks and weaves until she hits up Scerbo’s torso again. Toe to toe again with no thought of retreat or regrouping the two girls display incredible conditioning trading punches. Scerbo ducks down trying to find an opening to the body spanking Lucy with a sneaky left hand who returns the favor with a right cross to the head. Each girl trying to end this early when a Hale cross catches Scerbo’s chin and DOWN GOES CASSIE! Hale catches just enough of Scerbo’s chin to knock her off her game and onto the canvas. Scerbo squats while the ref counts not really hurt but wanting to take advantage of the time to catch her wind. She stands at seven and takes a standing eight. Hale seeing that Scerbo isn’t really hurt approaches cautiously but scores quickly with a three punch combination and then one more as the bell rings. Hale watches Cassie return to her corner to see if she has hurt her and if a chance to blow the fight wide open is there.

Rd 5 Hale showing more confidence now. She’s upright and keeping her distance from the still very dangerous Cassie. She’s scoring often with her jab and knocking Scerbo’s head back with a high percentage of punches thrown. Meanwhile Cassie is staying low using her right hand to score against the body but Hale is on to it and is countering with a right hand buggywhip across Cassie’s head and then returning to the jab with superior dexterity. Scerbo bounces back with a nice two punch combination straightening herself up and getting out of the kamikaze position as Hale is handling her down low attacks quite well. Both fighters back to center ring now blasting away on each other. Suddenly it’s Hale getting the best of Scerbo. She’s landing combinations that are rocking back Cassie and bouncing her off the ropes. Scerbo fighting back as best as she can with staright ahead jabs keeping her out of the corners but as the bell rings it’s clear who has taken control of the fight.
In between rounds Poindexter Del Crunchy hovers over a seated Cassie Scerbo and gives her a talk while the corner girls worker her over. It seems to be a heart to heart with Cassie looking up and nodding at the Scotsman’s lecture. Meanwhile Elisabeth Rohm leans in and mentions a couple of things and then backs away with both Pointy and Cassie listening intently.

Rd 6 Scerbo darts in on Hale but immediately backs out before the PLPgirl can react. Hale throws a right hand way too late and Scerbo counters with a left hand hook that connects. Lucy staggers back and Cassie steps up with a follow up jab. The Bazzgirl is being patient now. When Hale tries to initiate another toe to toe battle Cassie keeps her distance jitterbugging out in space and choosing her spots very carefully. Lucy tries to trap the elusive flyweight but can’t nail her down as Cassie has shifted into a mode that favors her quickness. Every time Lucy steps in, especially with her right hand, Cassie darts in with a lightening strike of a jab or combination and then disappears like a vapor trail. At first Lucy Hale registers her frustration as Scerbo keeps racking up the points with some picture perfect punching from a distance. Soon the PLPgirl is being driven to the point of madness as Scerbo’s new tactic seems as diabolical as one of her pranks on none other than one Bartholomew Clancy de la Pratfall Alahandro Hay. Still Hale is the aggressor move forward on Scerbo. She corners the Bazzgirl and attempts a strong combination to the torso and DOWN GOES LUCY! Hale gets caught by an overhand right hand left behind as she scurries away from Hale’s clutches. Hale rolls over and is on her hands and knees for a moment and then up for a standing eight count. Crowd roaring as the two fighters link up again. As tempted as she is to try and go toe to toe with Hale and end her night, Cassie keeps away using her quickness to score even more points and dominate the round.

“Holy crap! That stinks! She’s going to dance around now. They better figure out how to stop it or else!” #HudgyNotSoConfident #HaydenStillSmellyMishyToo

“She really is just a diabolical ho!” #HaydenNotSmellyButHudgyRatherPudgy

“Whoa! Whoa ladies that ho stuff is uncalled for!” #ShahiLookingGood

“I’m not smelly but I am a conquerer of that Pudgy Hudgy donkey!” #MishyTheQueenRules

In between frantic tweets the PLP corner is throwing together a new strategy for their girl Lucy in order combat Cassie Scerbo’s new plan to finish this fight. They are gesticulating wildly as they communicate to a nodding Lucy Hale.

Rd 7 Lucy keeps her distance from the quick footed Cassie Scerbo. The two fighters are barely engaged until Scerbo moves to her side close to the ropes and then Hale moves in clinching with Scerbo, tying her up and mauling her with short close in punches to the body. Scerbo has been here before as most of her opponents try and stop her free range long distance jabbing at one point or another. Still Hale’s punches are having an effect on Scerbo who is wincing against the ropes trying to get free from the PLPgirl’s clutches. The referee seems reluctant to stop the mauling that’s taking place despite what can only be described as less than polite suggestions from Poindexter Del Crunchy. Both fighters are scoring with the short in close punches but this is clearly not Cassie’s strong suit and Hale seems to be getting the better of it. She’s able to tap into Scerbo’s tummy and occasionally get in an uppercut to the chin. The fight has slowed significantly and the crowd is beginning to show its displeasure. Still this strategy is working well for Lucy Hale and she’s not here as much to please the crowd as she is to defend her title. As the round ends it seems as if Lucy Hale has taken back the momentum.

“I would just like to report that at the end of this round Mishy is still smelly and so is Scerbutt.” #Hudgy’sSoCool

“And this just in…the last Mishy-PudgyHudgy fight resulted in a Mishy conquering of Hudgy. So who smells now?” #MishyBeatsDownPudgy

“Wow! The vitriol!” #ShahiTheDiplomat

“You know the enemy of my enemy is my friend so ‘Go Scerbo Go!’” #MishyMakes HerChoice

“Shut it Mishy! Just shut it!” #SexyHudgy

Rd 8 Hale steps into Scerbo trying to continue with the close combat conditions but all she gets is air. Cassie is on her bicycle moving around the ring with pep in her step. Lucy keeps after the dodging spring loaded flyweight but she’s getting nowhere. Scerbo shifting on her feet introducing Lucy to her Dancing With Cassie routine. Hale getting frustrated steps in planting her left leg and throws a killer roundhouse right that Cassie bends back and avoids. She snaps back with her own combination to Hale’s head and HALE’S IN TROUBLE! Lucy Hale takes a two punch beating from Cassie Scerbo and is stunned. She’s stepping in fence post holes trying to get away from the surging Scerbo. Cassie has the PLPgirl up against the ropes and is unloading with everything she’s got. Hale’s hands up against her head protecting what she’s got left. The crowd is going berserk watching Scerbo work over Lucy Hale. Lucy’s head snapping back with every third punch taking an extraordinary beating from Scerbo. As the round comes to an end everyone in the arena is amazed that Lucy has survived such punishment and is able to get back to her corner.

“Oh my God! No!” #HaydenUpset

“This can’t be. What will the world be like if this fight keeps going this way?” #HudgyALittleVomitInMyMouth

“This is great! Go Cassie! Make trashy Hudgy blow chunks!” #Mishy’sDayIsMade

“I have to say I love Cassie. She’s got moxy.” #ShahiRespect

“Stop it! Just stop saying those things! She’s smelly! That’s all she is!” HaydenNauseousNowToo

Rd 9 Cassie out on her bicycle again. She’s checking out Hale’s approach from her corner to see if she’s wounded from the previous round. Lucy worn down from the chase is none the less a warrior and good to go. She attacks Cassie in the hopes of trapping her against the ropes again but Scerbo is just too nimble and quick. The two fighters circle each other. Lucy chasing and Cassie jitterbugging away whenever her opponent gets close. Cassie steps in quickly and scores with a laser right hand set up with a couple of jabs. Lucy recovers and strikes back with a two hand combination. PLPgirl moving a little slower now and Cassie takes advantage. She scoring regularly with her dart in, strike and escape strategy. Hale in survival mode now. She’s retreating from a charging Cassie Scerbo who is bobbing and weaving as she wades into Lucy with punching combinations that look as if they are coming from a buzzsaw. Lucy moves to her left but walks right into a Scerbo hook from her right and DOWN GOES LUCY! Scerbo’s punch lands right on the temple and Lucy Hale goes down like a sack of potatoes. For Cassie Scerbo standing off to the side the referee’s count seems to be taking forever. Lucy on her butt now trying to make her way back up but she’s at mid ring and she’ll get no help from the ropes as the referee slowly but surely finishes the count and OH THE HUMANITY AND MAY THE SAINTS PRESERVE US! WITH A 9th ROUND KNOCK OUT THE NEW FLYWEIGHT CHAMPION IS ONE CASSANDRA LYNN SERBO!

After: Pandemonium rules throughout the arena except for in one little area towards the center of the ring. Cassie Scerbo sits on her rear with her knees pulled up to her head and her hands covering her face. She stays there until her manager, trainer and just about everything else, Poindexter Del Crunchy steps up and puts a hand on her back. Scerbo gets up and gives him a hug and the two are soon enveloped by the rest of the Bazz Fight Club girls. They form a rather tight scrum bouncing up and down as the celebration begins. After briefly joining in with the Bazz club a small flyweight sized girl is seen crawling out through their shapely legs and striding over towards Lucy Hale and the rest of the Pretty Little Punchers who are consoling their team mate. They stand on guard as Cassie Scerbo approaches. The short stack from Bazz breaks thorugh the group and when Lucy Hale looks up she sees Scerbo extending her boxing gloved hand. The PLPgirl hits it with her own glove. The cameras catch the two fighters talking briefly with Scerbo’s hand on Hale’s shoulder. There’s some nodding and then another gloved fist bump and finally even a chuckle between the two and then Scerbo returns to her crew seemingly unaware that she has snuck away from the herd for a brief moment. Cassie electrifies the crowd by leaping high and catching some serious air before landing in the middle of the Bazz Fight Club scrum.

“That sure was a barnburner wasn’t it? I wasn’t sure who was going to win but I knew I couldn’t give up. I just had to keep guttin it out with her! Hale’s tough! That club’s come a long way in a very short time! They should be proud! Anytime you have to shift gears like we had to during the fight that means your opponent is doing a good job of keeping you off balance and that’s what Hale did!

Thankfully I’ve got a good corner with Pointy and Rohmmy steering the boat!” Cassie Scerbo states into a phalanx of microphones. When asked about their brief conversation Cassie smiles and tells the reporters that she made sure that Lucy knew that there would be a rematch offered.
Meanwhile ringside The Wiz stands motionless looking into the ring at the riotous celebration. In one hand is a can of PBR dripping with condensation and in the other a half eaten Little Debbie snack treat.

“Honey, are you crying?” A concerned Beth Harnois asks.

“Oh no! No! I’ve got popcorn in my eyes! One of those darned Bernie Sanders protestors has been pulling popcorn out of that pantsuit the Delta Foce guys made him wear all night and throwing it all over the place! Who needs another PBR! I’ll get it!” With that Cassie Scerbo’s biggest fan sits down and sticks his head deep into his cooler.

One Bartholomew Bistro Bella de la Vie Alahandro Hay sits back in his chair with a satisfied grin on his face. As he pats the bent over Wiz on the back he says to no one in particular. “I wonder what flavor pudding she’s going to hit me with first? And how will she do it? Butterscotch. I love her butterscotch pudding. I hope that it’s butterscotch.”