BEFORE:



"It's true that I haven't been in the ring much lately," says the blonde with that gorgeous smile. "But, I'm still in shape and I can still fight. As you'll see tonight."



"She's a veteran," says Kristen with a nod. "And, she's beaten good fighters. She's nobody to take lightly. You'd be a fool to do that. And, I'm not a fool."



ROUND ONE:



O'Dell: "Back at ringside and that's 'Hips Don't Lie' pounding through the arena, and here comes the singer of that hit song, the lovely Shakira!"



Tess: "And, anyone who tells you she looks 39 needs to see Mac's eye doctor..."



McCarthy: "WHAT...I...you...I don't HAVE an eye doctor!"



Cassie: "You NEED one..."



McCarthy: "SHUT UP, BOTH OF YOU!"



O'Dell: "Drink up, boys, as Shakira climbs into the ring and is helped off with the robe by Mariska Hargitay, who'll be in her corner tonight. This is something we've seen before...not a bout between two Front Street fighters, but a Front Street/Hour-Glass bout. While the two stables have been involved in a co-op agreement for some time, they remain separate stables. So, while Mariska has often been in the Front Street corner, tonight, she's in Shakira's."



McCarthy: "This is nothing but a ruse by Weirdo...this whole co-op thing. He just wanted to get his hands on Britney! And, now he continues with this farce..."



O'Dell; "Shakira wearing leopard print. And, no, she does not look 39. And, that's 'Helter Skelter' by the Fab Four you hear behind us, and that can only mean that the FCBA's biggest Beatles fan, 'The Five-Tool Player', Kristen Stewart, is on her way to the ring!"



Cassie: "Big night for the Front Street flyweight division. All four girls in action tonight. And, Stewart's right at the top of that pecking order at the moment."



O'Dell: "Kristen into the ring and helped off with the robe by Jewel and Neve. She's wearing that lime green number we've seen before. And, the ladies are about ready. Time for some picks. Tess favors Kristen. Mac?"



McCarthy: "Shakira has a BUNCH of FCBA wins and age ain't nothin' but a number. Shakira."



O'Dell: "Cassie?"



Cassie: "I agree with Tess!"



O'Dell: "And, here we go. Early movement from Shakira. The Colombian beauty has always been about quickness and great feet, and you're seeing that right now. Shakira popping the jab, moving the head and shoulders, she's circling, stopping to pop. This is nothing Stewart hasn't seen before, of course..."



Cassie: "At this point in her career, Kristen's seen just about every style, which, of course, is all part of the development plan Uncle Wiz put together."



McCarthy: "Give me a BREAK! Weirdo knows nothing and his 'plans' are like 'Plan 9 From Outer Space'!"



O'Dell: "Stewart patient early. Doing some recon. She wants to get that left jab on, as always. Start to work from there. Right now, though, Shakira doing a pretty good job of avoiding that. She's moving and angling, dipping and slipping. Doesn't look 39 the way she moves, either, does she, Mac?"



McCarthy: "Like I always say, nothin' but a number."



O'Dell: "Kristen popping that left, trying to get Shakira squared up. Not having much success doing it. Colombian slipping it, closing range a little, making up for the disadvantage in reach. This is good stuff from the veteran, blonde. Question is, can she keep this up for ten rounds at age 39. But, she can do it for one round. There's the bell. Shakira in the first."



Tess: "And, she gets the early 10-9 lead."



ROUND TWO:



O'Dell: "Stewart range finding as we start the second, and she's beginning to find the range.Kristen getting the left hand on now, keeping Shakira at punching distance. Blonde not able to slip forward now. Instead, she's out on the end of the brunette's punches, and that's not where she wants to be."



Cassie: "Absolutely not. Kristen's as accurate as any puncher in the FCBA, and she's got a ton of power for fly. You don't want her ranging in."



O'Dell: "And, that's what Stewart's doing now. She's getting punches put together, getting power on, and backing Shakira up. Blonde taking some hard shot here, being forced to cover up. Kristen stepping forward, getting some real power on this leather. Shakira completely on the defensive now."



McCarthy: "She's got to be more active. She's not countering enough right now."



O'Dell: "Not a bad point, Mac. Problem is, the blonde can't get any time or space to get punches off. She's taking steady fire from Stewart, and Kristen's not doing any missing. Shakira backed to the ropes now, and she's taking a beating as the final seconds tick away in the second. There's the bell, and it's Stewart wide."



Tess: "We're even at 19, but if Shakira can't find a way to turn things around, she's not going to last another round, let alone eight more."



ROUND THREE:



O'Dell: "Third underway and Kristen's got the range and she's calling in artillery from everywhere. Stewart just clinical right now. No matter what Shakira tries, the younger woman finds her with that left hand and then brings on the rights. Blonde backing and covering, trying to counter, but can't get much done."



Tess: "Well, I'm not known as Stewart's biggest fan, but, what's happening in there right now is plenty impressive."



O'Dell: "No question about it. Kristen just dialed in and absolutely dominating a fighter who's had some success in the FCBA. She's making Shakira look like the least experienced tyro you've ever seen in a ring right now. Shakira can do nothing at all but eat leather from K-Stew. It's all she can eat, and I'm not sure how much more she CAN eat."



McCarthy: "She just needs to get BUSY. She's got to start countering. She's spending too much time covering up."



O'Dell: "No doubt the Colombian is TRYING to get off, but she's being suppressed by the heavy fire coming from her opponent. Stewart is as locked in as I've ever seen her, and she's showing everybody why she's on the top of the Front Street flyweight pecking order. She's got Shakira on the ropes again as the round rolls to a close. One more solid flurry from Stewart and there's the bell. Kristen again. Wide again."



Cassie: "Wider than last time. And Stewart's now up 29-28."



ROUND FOUR:



O'Dell: "Fourth underway and Shakira's got the gloves high now. She's made a level change. She's in a crouch and she's bobbing forward trying to close the distance. Stewart splitting the guard with left hands and THERE'S A RIGHT AND SHAKIRA'S HURT! Right hand wobbled the Colombian and Stewart is all OVER her..."



Cassie: "Ref might want to get in there, because this is getting very ugly very quickly..."



O'Dell: "Stewart REEFING punches at Shakira. Blonde stumbling and staggering all over the ring. Kristen looking at the referee, as if to ask, 'Do I really need to keep hitting her?' Apparently she does. Shakira trying to jab back, but Stewart another big flurry and Shakira nearly goes down! Not sure what's holding the Colombian up..."



Tess: "Nothing but pride, but the referee needs to get in there..."



O'Dell: "Stewart a LASER right hand and DOWN GOES SHAKIRA! Colombian blasted to her back by that right! Kristen staring at the referee, then going to a neutral corner. Count at three. Four. Five. Shakira shaking her head, trying to clear it, trying to sit up. Seven. Eight. Can't do it. Nine TEN! It's over! And your winner by KO4 is 'The Five-Tool Player', Kristen Stewart!"



McCarthy: "Horrible refereeing! Horrible result! The only thing that could make this worse is a HUG, and I'm sure it's coming..."



AFTER:



O'Dell: "Let's go up to the ring and Tess Valmore!"



Tess: "I have our winner, Kristen Stewart, and, Kristen, you did not appear to be happy with the referee..."



Kristen: "He has a job in there and it's to protect us and he wasn't protecting her. She was out on her feet and I didn't want to keep hitting her. He needed to stop the fight. He didn't do his job."



O'Dell: "On another subject, there's been a lot of talk about who Front Street's number one flyweight is..."



Kristen (shaking her head): "See, this is what I don't get. Front Street's number one flyweight is the same person it always was. It was never Jamie Lynn. It was never Amanda. It was never Kat. It was never Leighton. It's always been the same person. Me. End of discussion."