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1 January 2017 Joanna Krupa vs Emily Ratajkowski

Page history last edited by Vassago 3 years, 8 months ago



(from Valparaiso, Chile)


Posted by OddManOut on January 1, 2017, 4:38 pm



Joanna Krupa vs Emily Ratajkowski
(FCBA Free Agent vs VIXENs)
(8-7, 8 KO vs 3-7, 3 KO)
Results: Lookout!; Story: Vassago

BEFORE: Polish Pride at stakes in this Body Paint battle under the Chilean sun... it's not a trailer for a cheesy B-movie night strip but "serious business" according to members of both camps ready to trade blows on the beach here tonight. Miami-based Joanna Krupa remains a free agent but has kicked into action over the past couple of years while London-born Emily Ratajkowski claims to be an improved fighter following her signing with the VIXENs in the fall. Up until then she was viewed as the dark-haired version of Carrie Prejean but her stock enjoyed a nice boost thanks to wins over Natalie Martinez and Lucy Mecklenburgh during the month of November.

Both these women met in another beach boxing battle over in the Bahamas in April 2014 where Krupa knocked Ratajkowski out in the eighth but that was only the second ever bout for the brunette and she vows to avenge that result and rip the blonde's rack to shreds here in Chile even though this isn't a JMD-themed contest. In fact Emily needs to be reminded to stay away from Joanna's boobs on the long haul but the evil look she gives to the ref indicates she doesn't really care about that rule at all.

The body-painting ritual has both women flexing their bumpers as much as possible and quite frankly they'd be ready to fight topless if allowed to. Joanna enters the sand first sporting a curved Baywatch-style red ensemble with a gigantic white eagle - Poland's coat of arms - painted on her 36Ds. Emily follows suit and displays a white bandeau strip and micro knickers painted in gold with a blue sun covering her tummy. No particular national scheme there to be seen but she earns a bigger crowd ovation and immediately puts the blonde model on pins & needles.

Round 1:
Emily is twelve years Joanna's junior and it shows early on as sand flies all over the combatants' shins during a feisty initial clash that has the brunette swarming body punches around the eagle's claws in hectic fashion. Joanna was too slow to the post and gets caught out by such a vicious blast downstairs; before she knows it, Emily reels her back and nearly headbutts in a furious pursuit for glory. This ain't 2014 anymore and Krupa's twitter mocking of the VIX coaching methods comes back to bite her early, she gets shut out on offense due to the brunette's leather rush and sinks in a hole come the final minute with Emily just blasting raw power and ending up unlucky she couldn't pound the blonde veteran back to the ropes.

Round 2:
Ratajkowski's eyes are glued on that white eagle on her opponent's rack but a quick hook to the temple throws her off balance and allows Krupa to put her name on the board. She prefers to punish the brunette upstairs and lands a series of crisp punches on each cheek reeling her rival even further back. Emily needs to adjust her position but stumbles over a hole in the sand and sinks on her heels just as the older girl loops more punishing hooks and eventually shoves her back to the turnbuckle. Emily does well to clinch the blonde but Joanna's too experienced to let her off the hook and she signs off her comeback with piercing shots to the body that leave the brunette worryingly helpless at the bell.

Round 3:
Emily becomes a little careless now as Joanna ups her mechanics and matches the younger model's tempo to the point she actually overwhelms her with a steady jabbing rush that leaves bruises on the brunette's face. Ratajkowski tries to explore that body success from the opener but fails to deal with Krupa's improved assault and really struggles to move across the sand which is evident by another stumble. Joanna just misses the put away blow though and only skims off the top of the brunette's forehead - not enough to send her down. She bullies the American back to the ropes regardless after looping more clean shots up the middle and Emily's fast start is all but forgotten now as she has to clinch the model for safety - both women are bumper wrestling more than anything else in the final seconds as the Chilean audience gets their money's worth here with that vintage foxy boxing moment straight from the 80s.

Round 4:
Ratajkowski is visibly upset with losing her momentum and complains about the surface before being told to "get on with it" by her coach Steve Boyd. Joanna's seen all of that from the opposite side and scampers across the loose stuff to resume the head hunting pressure but gets caught in a brunette sidestep and can do little about cutting thin air while the American blasts her on the left ear with a monster hook! Ugh! That shakes the blonde's legs and makes her drop the coverage while Emily rips a brutal hook on the temple and somehow finds room to add an uppercut as well. Krupa scowls in pain and tries to turn back to her foe but is too slow to match Ratajkowski's nifty touch and only eats a handful of leather instead with the American dishing out some serious facial heat for the first time tonight. And Krupa can hardly soak it up as she simply can't keep her gloves in tact and gets pounded back to the ropes where Ratajkowski just keeps on going. Round one all over again but the real damage is done when the brunette switches downstairs and pierces the solar plexus to really blow a hole in the blonde's defense. Joanna bellows out into early spasms of misery but it only gets worse as Emily hoovers around her liver area and literally WRENCHES HER DOWN on the sand when a belting cross finds the sweet spot. The bell rings moments before the ref is ready to start the count and he still gives the blonde a full eight number with Krupa desperately trying to find her breath. She regains her upright albeit looking misty in the eye and the bell pretty much saved her from a stoppage defeat at best while Emily now high-fives coach Boyd in a huge turn of events for the VIX entourage.

Round 5:
Joanna was somewhat slow-moving before but she's outright in trouble now as Emily squares up to her with an evil look in her eye and resumes the body assault reeling the aching blonde back to the ropes in the proccess. Krupa yelps her misery into the brunette's ear and settles for the clinching escape route but it only fuels Ratajkowski's desire to avenge that Bahamas defeat and she ditches the standard rules by applying pressure on that painted eagle again. A series of classic shots to the boobs raises the crowd's cheering but the ref has to step in and he lectures the rampant brunette a couple of times - also giving the embattled blonde extra time to catch her breath. However Emily really doesn't care about all of that and mugs more rack as the round enters the final minute and seems to take extra pleasure from doing so. Who wouldn't, mind you.... Well, here comes the ref again and now he deducts the VIX model a point with Joanna too banged up to even cheer the decision. She remains slumped on the ropes and - would you believe it - Ratajkowski flirts with an official DQ as she rams the blonde's rack and screams out in her face: "WILL-YOU-EVER-GO-DOWN-AGAIN-BYTCH" as she lands brutal jabs to the 36D area. Ugh! Bell halts the forbidden JMD action and Emily is wobbling on a VERY thin rope here as the ref goes over to coach Boyd and tells him: "One more shot, just one more and she's OUT!"

Round 6:
Thankfully for the Vixens camp, Krupa is too damaged to mount a response anymore and she's under heavy assault early in the sixth again as Emily wraps up the revenge mission with a ferocious blast to the body that drops the blonde's high guard with ease and sends Krupa's head snapping wildly back & forth when the younger model just rips more patches on that bruised face. Ugh! Krupa goes all numb as she becomes stranded in the center of the ring and Emily LAYS HER FLAT OUT with one final hook on the ear. Joanna ends up motionless on the sand and begins to mumble in spasms as she simply has taken too much punishment here tonight - even if some of that was borderline acceptable. Well, quite frankly it wasn't but that's no longer important as Emily Ratajkowski scores a brutal KO6 victory!!!

AFTER: The brunette plants her foot on the fallen opponent's breasts and poor Joanna remains spread eagle for a while before coach Boyd enters the ring and lifts his girl to celebrate another beach boxing success for the Vixens crew. Emily gives him a kiss and demands to drag the blonde's motionless body all across the sand to add extra spice to her victory: "Hey, her sagging melons deserved ALL of that I gave her!" but the man in the stripes hauls her back and explains how lucky she got when she turned this affair into a JMD Queendom spin-off. "Okay, okay, I got little carried away once... twice... but this was all about revenge!", Emily pleads her case before noticing the ref actually doesn't really look her in the eye anymore: "Will you PLEASE stop staring at my tits! How awful! And you're giving me orders what's acceptable do in the ring? Like really? Who's paying your salary here? The Chilean government or the FCBA?"

A scuffle with the ref is eventually interrupted when coach Boyd escorts Emily back to the VIX corner but the brunette remains livid with the lack of respect shown to her: "Did you see that? Am I on the craigslist or something? What a tool! It's such a damn shame I didn't rip that cow's tits right off! I still WON the damn fight!"

It later emerges that Emily has been fined five thousand dollars for her behaviour but of course getting revenge on the fellow Polish model overshadows that financial loss. Also, Joanna's whereabouts after the fight remain a mystery for several hours and only Kendra Wilkinson's tweets later reveal that apparently Emily and Joanna have settled their differences with a bottle of vodka late into the night. Two bottles... well, make that three even. Where did the Chilean hosts find this premium item is another mystery but one can't rule out the fact Krupa carried it on the plane all by herself. In fact, she probably did. It's never a true Polish meeting without the local distillery's finest product available. Win or lose!



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