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2 February 2017 Heidi Range vs Lily Allen

Page history last edited by anonononononononon 6 years, 10 months ago

BBU Thursday Night Boxing
Heidi Range vs Lily Allen
(Lioness Club vs Fight Club UK)
(14-8, 12 KO vs 7-1, 6 KO)

BEFORE: It's been almost exactly a year since Lily Allen lost her maiden BBU fight - to Jenna-Louise Coleman in the flyweight title dispute - and many pundits and fans alike were wondering what the Hammersmith brunette's been up to ever since. "I can tell you this much, I didn't go into hiding, I was just enjoying my life too much!", the petite singer tells Denise van Outen during a pre-fight interview. "I've got the best standards in this league, I'm here to win all the time and I simply wasn't in the shape to dominate my rivals the way I used to before. So I took a break. Big deal. But now I'm back and that blonde cow will learn all about it the hard way!"

That blonde cow... err... opponent happens to be Heidi Range of Sugababes fame who remains in the flyweight title picture even though back-to-back losses to Nikki Sanderson and Samia Ghadie may indicate her time in the spotlight has passed. However a win over Lily Allen would reboot Heidi's hopes of entering the divisional elite again and the Merseyside-born singer boosts her chances even further by appearing in her own backyward tonight - Liverpool's Echo Arena to be specific.

Heidi Range wears a red bikini set and white gloves. Long blonde hair tied in a loose bun at the back of her head. Lily Allen wears a navy blue bikini set and silver gloves. Long black hair straight with bangs. The fight is scheduled for ten rounds in the flyweight division.

Round 1:
Both girls are very aggressive in the early stages and that suggests the fight will be full of fireworks; Lily's jabbing efforts are aimed at the blonde's body but Heidi scores the meaningful strikes as she wades in over the top and snaps the brunette's head back repeatedly which leads into Allen losing her plot and backing away in a hurry. The Liverpool crowd gets visibly excited as the blonde rips more clean punches upstairs and drives the Londoner into the ropes where she switches her targets and digs around the elbows to keep Lily subdued for remainder of the round. The brunette was supposed to be in top shape for this one but perhaps the lenghty spell on the sidelines is actually taking it's toll in the early going.

Round 2:
Heidi's too experienced and too qualified in the sport not to take further advantage of Lily's erratic offense. The Echo Arena crowd has every right to celebrate their gal's production in the second as she whips immediate overhand assault and begins to snap Allen's head back & forth. Ugh! The brunette squeals in pain when a nasty combo nails her on the mouth and wobbles backwards just as Range delivers a piercing hook to the liver area which dumps the younger singer onto the ropes for good. All Heidi from there on as she wraps her opponent in a proper leather assault and keeps wrenching her to the body; it's as impressive as the fact Lily refuses to go down in the corner despite soaking up a great deal of punishment to the body. At the bell Heidi shakes her fist in delight and the crowd begins to chant "K-O, K-O" while the Hammersmith girl whispers to herself: "You frickin' wish!"

Round 3:
Heidi looks to establish full control over her opponent now but Lily has enough strenght in her to avoid another close range struggle and bides her time in mid distance. However she remains fairly bleak on offense and allows the blonde to track her down all over the ring even though the number of meaningful punches drops and Allen looks pretty sharp on her feet. Range calms down after the failed pursuit, she's seen it all in the BBU and fully realizes that Allen is no mere pushover and needs to be approached with utmost respect. Well, Georgie Thompson thinks Samia Ghadie would go all "screw it" mode regardless but Heidi doesn't need to rush things here after building a small advantage on the cards that looks even better on tape. The KO chants keep ringing around the Echo Arena as Lily survives the tactical battle of the third and actually winks back to the ref while telling him: "It's not over yet, sir!"

Round 4:
Both girls tangle in the center of the ring and this time Lily beats the blonde for the initial punch and whacks her across the nose while drilling her navel with a low right to boot. Heidi drops to her heels as she tries to adjust her footing but Lily launches an aerial attack that pulls the plug on the knockout chants in the audience. A series of uppercuts dismantles the blonde's high guard and leaves her backing away from the close range heat in a hurry come the one minute mark. Allen scowls in anger while delivering more facial strikes but the uptempo change favors her comeback and leaves the Merseyside singer struggling to find working space. Another low hook finds the navel and bends Heidi into a crisp uppercut that makes her yelp in pain but Lily adds to her advantage by blasting her on the left ear and sending back to the ropes for keeps. All Lily in the dying seconds as she digs her mitts into the blonde's midriff and poor Heidi looks vulnerable for the first time tonight while soaking up heavy abuse in the corner. Bell.

Round 5:
Lioness coach Mel B. is furious with the way Heidi let the Hammersmith girl back into this one. She urges the blonde to resume the early round success but Allen has clearly upped her tempo and now beats the older singer punch for punch as they trade leather in the center of the ring. Heidi comes away from it worse of the two as she develops a fat lip which only makes the brunette laugh. And Heidi doesn't respond with any venom, she backs off into mid distance earning more wrath from coach Brown in the corner. Meanwhile Lily stalks her with another aerial assault and secures the artistic impression marks at half-distance while the entire Merseyside/Lioness entourage looks downright annoyed over letting the brunette off the hook. This much is evident even for Essex girl Denise van Outen in the booth who rarely seems to support anyone coming from the Katie Price-run stable.

Round 6:
Heidi tries to repeat the early round success and loops some promising hooks to keep Lily at bay for a while but then the injection of pace allows the brunette to outwork the fellow singer in close range and the blonde's head snaps back amid painful yelps. Allen really channels the inner bytch here as she head hunts her foe and Range's guard crumbles under the onslaught while her feet stay behind. She bends awkwardly to the side and leaves a hole downstairs where Lily just wades in and catches the embattled Sugababe on the liver! Ouch! Heidi immediately hugs the wounded area and closes her eyes in obvious painful expression but Allen shows her no mercy and cracks a left hook on the temple before the ref can potentially delay the ineviteable nightmare for everyone gathered in the Echo Arena... BLONDE GIRL DOWN... Heidi ragdolls to the canvas and winces in utmost pain while Lily realizes she's hit the jackpot with that one! The audience is truly silenced and even the slowest of counts doesn't make the pain in Heidi's guts go away. She remains flat on her back until it reaches eight and by then it's too late to make a recovery. She gets up on her knees at ten but the ref has to wave it off and it's KO6 Lily Allen in come-from-behind fashion!!!

AFTER: The audience finally gets vocal again but it's a mix of anger and frustration as their hometown favorite just got smoked with a classic haymaker to the liver. So much promise goes down the gutter and Heidi's third defeat in a row basically eliminates her from future flyweight title consideration. That's a major blow for the Lioness Club who failed to deliver the goods with original pin-up choice Emma Bunton before. Well, there's a reason why neither the Spice Girls nor Sugababes are active in recording these days...

The same can't be said about Lily Allen who twerks her booty over the slumped opponent before blowing kisses to the hostile Merseyside audience: "I still love you!", she screams out at them but it only fuels the negative response. "Well, you can't expect much class from these Scousers", Lily changes her tune quickly but remains unmoved on Heidi's presence: "You're still a stupid cow, Range. At least now you know your career is finished!" There's no response from the sobbing blonde who's forced to embrace the serious liver body shot for a while yet - until coach Mel B. escorts her back to the locker room.

Where does this victory leave the Hammersmith gal though? That's a riddle worthy of Real View's talents but since Fight Club UK remains a strange bedfellow to most of the BBU pundits - due to owner Katie Price's controversial personality - Denise van Outen fails to provide the answers for the time being.

Final result: Lily Allen def. Heidi Range KO6.