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4 February 2017 Isla Fisher vs Collien Fernandes

Page history last edited by anonononononononon 3 years, 7 months ago


BBU travels to home of the Black Eagle Boxing, the Lanxess Arena in Cologne where the local flyweights square off against international competition.

Georgie Thompson is the regular host of the BBU action held outside UK and she's on-site to provide the play-by-play commentary.


BEFORE: Allthough Sandy Moelling and Cher Lloyd headline the Lanxess Arena main event tonight, we do have an exciting undercard to deal with first as TV personality turned actress Collien Fernandes squares off against the veteran Isla Fisher. The redhead was thought to be long-retired from the celebrity boxing universe until she made a surprise cameo at last year's Girls Friday's trip to Sydney where she got knocked out by former BBU flyweight champion Emily Atack. BBU TV's Georgie Thompson was one of the pundits who advised Fisher to call it a day following that nightmare but apparently the redhead's Hollywood billing is enough to sell more tickets all over the world and for once Black Eagles owner Gina Wild must be praised for booking her stable such a winnable contest.

Let's make no mistake though, Collien Fernandes made a very slow start to her BBU career last season, going down three times before finally tasting success in a shockingly one-sided beating of Layla Kayleigh. Isla Fisher definitely serves as a major upgrade over Kayleigh and should provide more evidence whether Collien can develop into serviceable level or remains at the bottom of the Black Eagles pecking order and the BBU flyweight division in general.

Isla Fisher wears a light blue basque top, white knickers and golden gloves. Long dark red hair tied in a sleek ponytail. Collien Fernandes wears a crimson basque top with black trim, black knickers and crimson gloves. Long raven-black hair tied in a custom ponytail. The fight is scheduled for ten rounds in the flyweight division.

Round 1:
Isla wants to upstage the German party and comes storming out of her corner; she swings plenty of jabs upstairs but Collien settles down in mid range and avoids the early pressure before looping some meaningful response over the top herself. Both women display a lot of courage in the early stages but the execution leaves room for improvement and neither one is able to really punish the other. What follows is a hectic jabbing exchange that keeps both women in the center of the ring however the lack of a big punch is visible and injects some reality into this contest which isn't exactly an elite eliminator by any means.

Round 2:
It's perhaps the first time that Fernandes enters a fight as a genuine favorite but Fisher does have more experience under her belt and takes advantage of another jabbing tussle when she digs her mitts into the brunette's midriff and wobbles her in the center of the ring before rattling her with a vicious uppercut on the jaw. Collien slips back briefly and soaks up more facial pressure as Isla squeals in her efforts to chase the Emily Atack demons away as she drives ahead and backs the hapless foe into the ropes where she settles down into piercing her ribcage again. The Cologne audience begins to jeer at the redhead and Eagles coach Gina Wild looks shocked in her corner but even the best of plans can suddenly all be re-written as Isla keeps the German actress trapped on the ropes and repeatedly whacks her to the body until the bell.

Round 3:
Some heavy words are exchanged between Collien and her coach while the Aussie glares down at both of them from the opposite side during the interval. She jumps into another slugging exchange and hopes to dent more holes in the brunette's defense but Fernandes is having none of that and explodes with a head hunting chase that tags the temples and pushes Fisher backwards after a feisty initial tangle. Both women cycle each other for a while and Isla refuses to blink first; that turns out to be a really good choice as she's able to counterpunch through the brunette's efforts thereafter with Collien struggling to land her shots on target and losing valuable time in a fruitless pursuit come the final minute. Neither of these women is moving all that quick across the canvas but the lack of outright success in mid distance leaves this fight fairly open - especially with the Lanxess Arena crowd eagerly supporting Fernandes' comeback attempt.

Round 4:
A lacklustre exchange in the middle of the ring opens the fourth; both women barely graze the flesh before Isla steps even further back and tries to lure the German into a trap - thankfully for the home base, Collien rejects the teasing and methodically tries to cycle through the redhead's careful movements which really pulls the plug on the high tempo action in this round. Gina Wild calms her girl down and ignores some shouts from the crowd to really go after the Australian veteran, the time is on the Eagles side as several pundits believe that Fernandes is the more durable fighter and she doesn't need to push her luck against someone so inconsistent as Fisher. The smile stays on the redhead's face at the bell - she thinks she's got the locals right where she wants them and allthough the improvement over the Emily Atack nightmare is not to be denied, she's hardly broken Collien's spirit so far tonight.

Round 5:
Both women get physical in the middle of the ring again and Isla's head hunting effort briefly wobbles the younger actress to the side however a piercing harpoon nails her on the liver area in response and trembles forward with a loud yelp. Fernandes doesn't need a second opportunity to come her way and flies in with a jaw-crushing uppercut that drops the redhead's cover and allows the brunette to pour in with more close range juice. She rocks Isla's carrot ponytail back and lands another cruel punch to the liver which sends the Aussie back to the ropes where the German attack can really unleash the demons. Isla goes all earmuffin' as she fails to break free and Collien hammers along the waistline to sink her on visibly soft knees come the final minute. Another try to smashing the redhead's jaw is futile but at the bell the Lanxess Arena is buzzing in delight with Isla aching her pain out and staring down at the canvas rather than confidently eyeballing the German entourage like she did before.

Round 6:
"Jetzt aber! Gibt gas!", Gina Wild sends the brunette into another bruising attack and Isla struggles to recover from the previous round beating. She swings and misses in a half-hearted effort to catch Fernandes on the fly before getting DRILLED with a left hook on the nose that makes her wince on the spot and slump on those jelly knees. Collien hauls in another brutal uppercut with her second shot of the round and Fisher's jaw suffers badly again - this time the Aussie slips back to the ropes as she just can't hold her ground anymore and becomes stuck in the area when the brunette rips a left/right cross to open a nasty cut under the left eye for a good measure... but Isla's legs are gone and it only takes another swift hook on the temple TO SEND HER SLIDING DOWN ON HER BACKSIDE... Gina Wild can twerk her cleavage in delight and the Cologne audience thrives on Collien's recovery as they demand the fight to be stopped even if the Aussie tourist makes it back to her feet... she does after taking an eight count but the ref resumes the affair and suddenly a nasty left hook on the eye gives the redhead some hope as she whacks the German with a very lucky strike and drops her into a lenghty wrestling clinch! Ugh! Gina Wild was ready to roll the red carpet for the Hamburg-born brunette but it's Fisher who peppers her on the ribcage as both women struggle to break free in the clinch as the referee is equally as surprised to see that as Georgie in the booth and just about anyone in the Lanxess Arena.

Round 7:
Collien wasted a golden opportunity to put the Aussie away in the sixth but she secures another one early in the seventh as Isla becomes too arrogant in her lucky escape and instead of wearing the local girl out in another mid range struggle, she switches into a slugging mode and bombs away upstairs - perhaps hoping for another haymaker miracle that would turn the fight on it's head for good. However the brunette ducks underneath the onslaught and wades in to the body, she drills the redhead's solar plexus and clips the rack before stuffing the 40 year old veteran with a brutal hook to the liver which wobbles Fisher forward with eyes closed. She tries to apply another clinch but gets bumped off by Collien's elbow and doesn't even notice a clubbing shot on the jaw THAT PUTS HER DOWN ON HER BACK moments later... Ugh! Fisher tries to catch her breath but her age and alleged fitness woes come back to haunt her... she only sits down on her heels at eight and battles the tears of defeat when the ref yells out "Ten" straight into her face! KO7 Collien Fernandes!!!

AFTER: This was the victory the entire Eagles camp expected from Collien but she struggled at times and was lucky to avoid a counterpunching upset against an opponent that was supposed to enter the ring as a walking tomato can given her infamous comeback demise last year. Isla proved to be a stubborn little vixen and Gina Wild does look relieved when accepting the verdict. In fact, there's no bad blood between the victorious brunette and the fallen redhead as both women are chatting along and exploring the facial damages they gave each other tonight before finally leaving the ring to make room for the Main Event. There's little hope Cher Lloyd wins any friends or respect with the Eagles there and Gina Wild is the first to admit that. Georgie Thompson reckons the German stable's schedule couldn't become more extreme, the rise from Isla Fisher to BBU media's new favorite pet Cher Lloyd may result in Sandy Moelling suffering the worst nightmare of her boxing career.

Final result: Collien Fernandes def. Isla Fisher KO7.



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