Posted by Lookout! Boxing on Mar 31, 2017 at 11:38am

MIRANDA KERR VS MARY ELIZABETH WINSTEAD

Results: Lookout Writing: Archer

Miranda: 33 YO, 5’9 (1.75 m), FCBA: 6-1-0 since 2015. Vassago
Mary: 32 YO, 5’8 (1.73 m), 37-36-0 since 2007, Foxfire Boxing

Before: “Miranda got my attention when she beat my stablemate Rachel Nichols,” Mary explains to press in the pre-fight. “Up to then she was mostly fighting supermodels in places like the Ice Hotel. I love a gimmick fight, but I really didn’t want to end up face-down in a snow bank with my bikini bottoms full of snow. So now I can fight her in a real ring. I love fighting someone new—they always present new problems to solve—but I do solve them—most of the time.”

“How do you feel about Yvonne Strahovski being seen in camp with her?” Skip Tracey of Archer News calls out.

“Huh?” Mary blurts out and looks over at Miranda sitting down the table.

“I appealed to her as one Aussie lightweight to another,” Miranda says with a cat-that-ate-the canary grin.

Mary’s face gets red: “It doesn’t matter who Vonnie—I mean Ms. Strahovski advises. That’s her business.”

“I take it Ms Strahovski hasn’t mentioned it to you?” Skip follows up.

“No,” Mary says darkly,

“Yvonne was most helpful,” Miranda calls out. “She gave me so many good Winstead Beating tips that I can only hope to execute them as well as she does.”

Mary scowls: “Yeah, that’s your only hope and I already know you’re no Yvonne.”

Miranda smiles sweetly: “True, but I have managed to muddle my way through enough to have six wins this federation. I look forward to winning more.”

“Not from me you won’t!” Mary snaps.

“We’ll just have to see,” Miranda says with a smirk.

By the time fight night rolls around, social media is alive with rumors that Mary directly confronted Yvonne Strahovski about “secretly” helping Miranda Kerr. Rumor has it that a catfight or wrestling match ensued with Yvonne pinning a fuming Mary and telling her: “Stop being a jerk about this! It was just business! It’s nothing personal.” “It is to me!” Mary cried, but then, realizing she was beaten, submitted and Yvonne released her. It is very doubtful this did anything to relieve the tension between the two (assuming the reports are true, of course). Mary in ring with Foxfire Lightweight Trainer Rachel Nichols and she’s not pleased to see Yvonne accompanying Miranda to the ring. Robes are doffed and Mary is wearing a white bikini with white gloves and boots (black laces), Miranda in a green bikini with gold trim. Green boots and gloves with gold laces. Both ladies have their hair pulled back and secured with ribbons (white for Mary; green for Miranda). Very tense ring instructions and HARD glove swipe before fighters go to their corners.

R1: Steady jabbing exchanges mark the opening of the bout. Mary and Miranda circling at midring while peppering each other with the jab. Both bobbing and weaving as they probe for openings. Mary getting some nice licks to Miranda’s chin, but Miranda quick to counter with some chin shots of her own. Mary shaking these off to give Miranda tummy some jolting hooks. Miranda answering with stinging shots into Mary’s chest. Mary not liking this and gives back jugg for jugg as Miranda’s bra cups get smashed hard. Miranda trying to dart in but runs into solid Winstead counters to the face. Miranda pulls back, circling again and using the jab. Mary answering., Back and forth jabbing to the bell as the rounds goes narrowly to MEW.

R2: Yvonne Strahovski seen giving quiet to Miranda who then comes out with a brisk attack aimed at Mary’s head. Mary’s white ribbonned hair dancing around from the swiveling rights and lefts smacking her across the cheekbones. Nice clips on the chin making Mary’s head bob and she stumbles back in confusion with her gloves up around her head. Cue Miranda Kerr to give Mary’s midsection a thorough working over. Mary being knocked back towards the ropes, but then she manages to stabilize herself with jabbing that knocks Miranda’s head back and slows the Aussie supermodel’s advance. Mary giving Miranda some nasty shots to the jugg, but Miranda going back to the head. Mary ducking down now, but punches still rattling her brain to the bell. Miranda books a wide win this round and has Mary looking unsteady on her legs as she goes back to her corner.

R3: Mary trying to show some aggression early this round, but Miranda smothers the efforts in an aggressive charge that strikes first to the belly and breast. Mary hunching up from the body blows, but then Miranda just works her back to the ropes. Mary finds herself trapped against the ropes as Miranda swings away with all-out punching effort. Mary struck hard to the head and body as Miranda gives her a thorough pounding. Mary finally clinching to break this up, but she’s not really going much counterpunching. Mary face in gloves just letting Miranda punch away. Mary somehow still standing at the bell as Miranda scores a shutout win of the round. Mary looking bleakly from her stool as Yvonne and Miranda share a hug across the ring. Rachel Nichols seen taking urgently to her battered fighter.

R4: Mary defensive as the round gets started. Miranda continues her aggressive ways, but she is not having quite the effect with her punching this time. Mary waiting patiently as her jab starts to score against Miranda face and chest. Then Miranda tries to lunge in with a right aiming for Mary’s jaw. Mary able to strike first with her own right to the jaw! Then a left to the jaw! Miranda caught by surprise stumbles back as Mary pumps quick rights and lefts into the model’s face. Miranda circling to escape the attack and Mary moving to cut her off. Miranda striking back to the head is able to put some rubber into Mary’s legs and stop the attack. Miranda then tries the offense again but Mary ready to counter. Intense back and forth action mostly to the breast and ribs rages right down to the bell. Both fighters with lumped up faces and sweat dripping off hard panting bodies. Judges decide the roiund goes to Mary Winbstead by a narrow margin.

R5: Miranda right back at Mary with those head rocking shots early. Mary banged hard, but quickly ducks down behind her gloves and jabs to counter. Miranda working her way around the outside, now pops shots into Mary’s flanks to sting her ribs and then shifts back for some stomach socking. Mary grimly trying to counter, but can’t seem to do more than slow Miranda down. Miranda puts some uppercuts into the underside of Mary’s breasts late, but can’t get Mary to lower the gloves protecting her head. Mary able to do enough to avoid a shutout but Miranda banks a wide win.

R6: Miranda again feeling the aggressive spirit as she rushes in on Mary, but once again Mary greets her with prepared defenses. Hard jabbing from Mary knocks Miranda’s head back several times in quick succession. Mary then ups the ante with hard right and left smashes to the jaw. Miranda floundering backwards, is driven by Mary’s punching back onto the ropes and now Mary vengefully works Miranda’s body over from forehead to belly and back. Miranda finally clinches to escape but she’s a wreck as the fight resumes. Miranda just going face in gloves and riding out the storm as Mary just pounds away to the bell. In fact, referee has to jump in and push the fired-up Mary back. Miranda somehow is able to walk back to her corner but she collapses onto the stool as a worried Yvonne and the corner crew try to revive her.

R7: No surprise to find Miranda slow off her stool and very defensive as the round gets going. Mary taking her time, She circles and then circles back. Miranda sluggish in response. Mary testing Miranda’s remaining defense with quick rights and lefts that start to get through to Miranda’s body. Then Mary launches a fierce body attack, driving Miranda up on her toes as hooks sink deep into her taut, but now aching belly. Then Mary just drives rights and lefts between Miranda’s weakly held up gloves to smash her nose and mouth. Miranda reeling back and Mary unleashes a savange right uppercut to the chin. Crowd gapes as Miranda is LIFTED OFF HER FEET AND SENT CRASHING TO THE CANVAS. Miranda sprawled out in a perfect starfish as Mary stomps to neutral corner, pausing only to raise a derisive right fist to a white-faced Yvonne trahovski. Miranda able to momentarily raise her head and look around, but her eyes show “no one home” and she is back to sleeping as the referee completes the formality of the count.

THE WINNER: MARY ELIZABETH WINSTEAD (KO7)

After: “I hope Miranda is all right,” Mary says later in the ring, “ but I didn’t like the way she and Yvonne tried to gang up on me. I had to show you don’t mess around with Mary Winstead and I trust I have made my point.”

Suddenly Yvonne elbows her way through crowd and marches up to Mary: “I just thought you would want to know Miranda’s all right—no thanks to you! I cannot believe you took your jealousy of me out on her!”

“What?! Me jealous of you?” Mary explodes. “Now you are making me mad all over again.”

“You didn’t like me advising Miranda, you’re still mad I beat you in the Body Paint fight—not to mention that other altercation we had. You know you can’t beat me so you thought you could beat up Miranda instead. That’s really beneath you Mary Winstead. You should be ashamed!”

“Oh that is just too much!” Mary cries and her taped palms shoot out to smack Yvonne in the shoulders. Yvonne is knocked backwards. The crowd opens up to let her land on the canvas with a thud.

Yvonne goes red in the face and scrambles to her feet, but suddenly FCBA Security men appear to get between the angry Mary and Yvonne. Rachel Nichols quickly steers Mary out of the ring, but the unpleasantness sets off a social media firestorm. Is another Mary vs Vonnie fight coming? Is their friendship finished this time? Stony “No Comments” from either camp.

Calmer heads think that all the uproar is distracting from what actually a very interesting fight. Miranda Kerr showed she can stand up to veteran FCBA lightweight, though her aggression left her vulnerable to Mary Winstead’s counters. Winstead took a pounding, but came back to give Kerr an even harder one to win the fight. Lightweight fans will be curious to see if Miranda Kerr will stick mostly with models in future or see what she do against more conventional lightweights. Of course, most speculation for MEW is a another round with her her “frienemy” Yvonne, but some think she could be aiming for another title shot. Should be interesting to see how this plays out.