BEFORE:



"You know, when I got this call, I wasn't surprised," says Sarah with a smile. "I mean, I starred opposite her ex after she did and the connection was obvious. Just like the connections my fists are going to make with her face."



"You know," says Kristen with a shake of the head, "I really don't care WHY I'm fighting someone. All that matters is, that girl's in front of me and I've got to do what I've got to do, you know?"



ROUND ONE:



O'Dell: "We're back at ringside and that's..."



McCarthy: "Terrible! Just TERRIBLE! Where do they GET this music?"



Tess: "Well, if you READ THE PREP MATERIAL you'd know this song is 'Don't You Evah' by Spoon and it was a big part of the soundtrack of '11.22.63' the Hulu series based on the Stephen King novel of the same name..."



Cassie: "A series that STARRED the young lady coming to the ring right now..."



O'Dell: "And, that would be Canadian beauty Sarah Gadon!"



McCarthy: "As I've told you over and over again, I do NOT read Weirdo's propaganda!"



Tess: "Thus, you remain clueless, though you'd likely remain clueless even if you DID read it..."



McCarthy: "SHUT UP, WALMART!"



O'Dell: "Drink up, boys, and drink in how Ms. Gadon looks in that silver bikini. She's clearly been working hard for her FCBA debut. And, that's 'Helter Skelter' you hear pounding through the arena, and that can only mean the FCBA's biggest Beatles fan, 'The Five-Tool Player', Kristen Stewart, is making her way to the ring..."



McCarthy: "Just another of Weirdo's overrated Dancing Hooker flyweights."



Cassie: "Stewart, of course, at the top of the Front Street flyweight division, where she's been for a while now. Definitely looking at earning another title shot, and she needs a win tonight to stay on that track."



O'Dell: "Kristen into the ring and helped off with the robe by Jewel and Neve. She's wearing that lime green bikini she likes, and the ladies are about ready. Time for some picks. Tess favors Kristen. Mac?"



McCarthy: "Yet another tomato can with NO FCBA wins. Stewart."



O'Dell: "Cassie?"



Cassie: "I agree with Tess!"



O'Dell: "Here we go. Stewart making with the jab early. Kristen, as we've said before, is a tall fly and she likes to use all that length to her advantage, just like she's doing now. We took some time to watch some BBU tape of Gadon, and she's a girl who's shown an ability to work past a jab and get inside where she likes to work, but, at the moment, K-Stew holding her at bay."



Cassie: "And, speaking of the BBU, while, as Mac pointed out, Sarah has no FCBA wins, as this is her debut, she IS 2-0 in the BBU."



O'Dell: "Gadon showing some nice defenses right now. Got the hands high, bobbing the head, looking to penetrate. Stewart keeping her on the outside, landing some lefts and the odd right, but getting a lot of that accurate stuff of hers picked off. Both ladies doing a lot of feeling out at the moment, it looks like..."



McCarthy: "If this Canadian can actually work inside on Stewart, she can beat her. I'll be interested to see if she can get there."



O'Dell: "Thirty seconds to go in the first and it's not going to happen this round, looks like. Kristen keeping her rival at range, and those are terms much to K-Stew's liking. Ten seconds left. Kristen landing a good left-right and there's the bell. Competitive round goes to Stewart."



Tess: "And, it's K-Stew with the 10-9 lead."



ROUND TWO:



O'Dell: "Gadon turning up the heat now. She's putting on the pressure, bobbing and slipping past the jab, getting to the middle distances and going body on Kristen. K-Stew tying up, trying to slow Sarah down and force a break, but Gadon punching free and landing a SOLID right hand..."



McCarthy: "This is what I'm TALKING about. If Gadon can do this, she can pull the upset."



O'Dell: "Stewart ties up, forces the break. Back to range, but Sarah again working past the jab, getting in close now and banging body. Canadian clearly wants to get physical with K-Stew and that's exactly what she's doing at the moment. Stewart again tying up, wants some space, but Gadon punching free..."



Tess: "Interesting strategy from Sarah. She doesn't hit as hard as Stewart, so you wouldn't think getting physical would be the game plan, but, she's not likely to out-box a boxer like Kristen, so, why not?"



O'Dell: "And, that appears to be the thinking, Take Kristen out of her game, work inside, and see what happens. And the Canadian has quickly gone from middle distances to the phone booth. She's working over Kristen's body, going upstairs and then back down, taking over this fight and controlling the round right to the bell. Gadon. Wide."



Cassie: "That was good stuff from Sarah, and, while I'm not sure I agree with Mac, Stewart DOES need to adjust. 19-19 after two."



ROUND THREE:



O'Dell: "Sarah right back to work, looking to get inside and bang away at Stewart's body. Kristen showing a bit more movement now, making the effort at penetration harder for the Canadian. K-Stew landing jab after jab before Gadon can get to her spots, but, once Sarah's there, she's getting off lusty."



Cassie: "I expected the movement. K-Stew's a very athletic girl and she can move very well if she wants to."



O'Dell: "And, she wants to at the moment. She's angling up, circling a bit, making things hard on Gadon. Sarah, though, sticking with the plan, willing to damn the torpedoes of Stewart's jab to get in close and work that belly. Kristen tying up inside, slowing Gadon down, but Sarah scoring plenty before breaks are forced."



McCarthy: "Referee ought to warn Stewart for all that holding she's doing. Fight! This isn't a wrestling match!"



O'Dell: "Final thirty seconds of the third, which has been a two-way affair. Stewart piling up points at range, Sarah scoring plenty of her own when she gets into the phone booth. Ten seconds left. GOOD right hand by Gadon and there's the bell. Close one. Sarah gets it, though."



Tess: "And, that puts her in the lead, 29-28."



ROUND FOUR:



O'Dell: "Fourth starts the way the third ended, with Stewart jabbing for space and Gadon working forward in the high guard, bobbing the head, moving the feet. Good right hand right there by Kristen stopped Sarah in her tracks and Stewart follows up with a big flurry! Gadon covering up now..."



Tess: "Right hand in there may have hurt Gadon!"



O'Dell: "Sarah being backed up as Stewart begins committing on punches. She's throwing a ton of right hands right now. Sarah countering in spots, trying to slow this down, but K-Stew not having it. She's got the range and she's calling in the artillery and NOW GADON'S HURT FOR SURE!"



Cassie: "What a right hand!"



O'Dell: "Snapped back Sarah's head and wobbled her legs! Canadian in deep trouble now. Stewart works her to the ropes and begins firing away. Sarah with the guard high, rolling with, trying to last out the round. Stewart looking to finish this thing right now. GOOD right hook from Kristen hurt Sarah again! Referee looking closely, but, there's the bell! Fourth comes to a close none too soon for the Canadian. Stewart's round. Wide."



McCarthy: "And, we're even at 38."



ROUND FIVE:



O'Dell: "Stewart coming forward now. She's looking not to consolidate, not to clean up, but to finish. Gadon trying a fighting retreat. She's countering when she can, giving ground, but grudgingly. Stewart as aggressive as we've ever seen her, ladies. She's sitting down on everything right now..."



McCarthy: "Gadon looking for opportunities to turn this with one punch. She's setting her feet and firing back."



O'Dell: "Indeed, she is, but Stewart controlling the action. Kristen landing heavier shot and, most importantly, much more shot right now. She's got Sarah where she wants her, on the end of that accurate jab, and the Canadian taking some serious leather in the form of those follow on right hand and DOWN GOES GADON!"



Tess: "WOW! What a head swivel!"



Cassie (singing): "Turn out the liiiigggghhhhhttssss. The party's ooooovveerrrrrr...."



O'Dell: "Gadon ragdolled to her back after a BLISTERING right from K-Stew! Kristen to a neutral corner. Referee's count at Three. Four. Five. Sarah not moving at all. Six. Seven. Eight. This count is academic. Nine. TEN! It's OVER! Gadon still down, hasn't moved an inch, and your winner by KO5 is 'The Five-Tool Player', Kristen Stewart!"



AFTER:



O'Dell: "Let's go up to the ring and Tess Valmore!"



Tess: "I have our winner, Kristen Stewart, and, K-Stew, she gave you some trouble early..."



Kristen: "She can fight. She showed that in the BBU. And, she had a good fight plan, too. Thing is, I solved that, and, when that happened, it was just a matter of time."



Tess: "What's next for you?"



Kristen: "We'll see. Maybe it will be another top fighter. So you can predict I'll lose. Who knows?"