Post by on Aug 31, 2017 at 3:41pm

TEXAS INVASION AT THE ASYLUM

Results: Lookout     Writing: The Wiz

BEFORE:

"I know what people are thinking," says Eva with a shake of the head. "Can I still do this? Am I still the girl who won the flyweight title? Well. I CAN still do this, and I'm just about to prove it."

"Look, she's beaten a lot of good fighters," says Kristen. "She's got a a near-Hall of Fame winning percentage. She's won a championship. So, she's somebody to take seriously, and that's just what I've been doing."

ROUND ONE:

O'Dell: "Back at ringside, and that's 'Uptown Funk' by Bruno Mars, and here comes the FCBA's biggest Bruno Mars fan, from Corpus Christi, Texas, Eva Longoria!"

McCarthy: "And, I'll have you all know that Eva turned 42 earlier this year, and, when she takes off that robe, she's going to demonstrate, once again, that age ain't nothin' but a number!"

Tess: "Here we go..."

McCarthy: "Shut UP, Walmart!"

O'Dell: "Eva into the ring and helped off with the robe. And, she DOES look a lot younger than 42 in that electric blue bikini..."

McCarthy: "THAT'S what I'm TALKIN' about! 40 is the new 20!"

O'Dell: "And, that's 'Helter Skelter' you hear pounding through the arena behind us, and that can only mean that the FCBA's biggest Beatles fan, 'The Five-Tool Player', Kristen Stewart, is on her way to the ring!"

McCarthy: "And, while Stewart is a big fan of the Beatles, she is NOT a big fan of Walmart here..."

Cassie: "Kristen has been at the top of Front Street's flyweight division for a long time, and she's the only fly from the stable who's earned a title shot. She's trying to get back in that picture, and, to do that, she'll need a win tonight."

O'Dell: "Stewart into the ring and helped off with the robe by Jewel and Neve. She's wearing that lime green two-piece she prefers...."

McCarthy: "And, she still has a figure that would get her laughed out of The Mansion..."

O'Dell (sighing): "And, the ladies are about ready. Time for some picks. Tess favors Kristen. Mac?"

McCarthy: "Nothin' but a number. I'm going with Eva in the upset!"

O'Dell: "Cassie?"

Cassie: "I agree with Tess!"

O'Dell: "Our first split panel of the night. Let's see who's right. Stewart immediately sets up at range and wants to make with that long jab. Kristen a very tall fly and she has reach on most girls in the division, just like she does on Eva. Brunette though, slippin' and dippin', keeping the gloves high, looking to work in..."

Cassie: "That's what Longoria will need to do. She's not going to be able to box at range with Stewart. She's giving up too much length."

O'Dell: "Texan inside and working a little body. Stewart used to be uncomfortable on these terms, but, no more. She's banging back in kind, digging body of her own. Ladies fall into a clinch and the referee breaks. Longoria working forward again, wants to work off Stewart's shoulder..."

McCarthy: "If she keeps doing this, she'll beat this kid. This is how Hayek and Russell did it..."

O'Dell: "But, those fights were some time ago. This is a more mature Kristen Stewart, who's, again, learned to deal on terms like these. Final seconds of a good, close first round. Longoria banging midsection. Stewart responding to Eva's ribs. Five seconds, and there's the bell. Close first. Longoria."

Tess: "Good start for Eva."

ROUND TWO:

O'Dell: "Longoria forward again to start the second. Eva very, very slick defensively. She's got the hands high, the chin tucked, moving the head, shoulders, feet, angling. Kristen a lot like Torv in how accurate her punches are, but, even against that kind of accuracy, Longoria able to get past the gloves and inside where she wants to be."

McCarthy: "Like we pointed out, she's a former champion with a heck of a winning percentage, and you're seeing why right now."

O'Dell: "Eva banging midsection. K-Stew fires back to the body, then upstairs. Good up and down combination by Longoria in response. Ladies clinch again and the referee breaks. Eva immediately advancing again. Stewart jabbing and ROCKING HER WITH A RIGHT HAND! Kristen staggers Eva and DOWN GOES LONGORIA!"

Tess: "'Right hook!"

O'Dell: "Indeed it was! A straight right off the left jab wobbled Eva, but it was the right hook that put her on her back. K-Stew to a neutral corner. Count at three. Four. Five. Eva rolls to her belly. Six. Seven. She pushes to hands and knees at eight. Nine. TEN! It's OVER! Longoria can't get off all fours and it's OVER and your winner by KO2 is 'The Five-Tool Player', Kristen Stewart!"

Cassie: "Just some great stuff there by Kristen. Eva may not be in her prime anymore, but taking out a girl with her pedigree in five minutes? That's impressive."

AFTER:

O'Dell: "Let's go up to the ring and Tess Valmore!"

Tess: "I have our winner, Kristen Stewart, and, Kristen, do you have a train to catch?"

Kristen (smiling): "Oh, I wasn't in any hurry, Tess, but, when you get a chance to take out a girl like her, you've got to do it, or you might not like what happens later in the fight. One of the things we train on all the time at Front Street is finishing. You've got to finish. So, when I got her, I finished."

Tess: "What's next for you?"

Kristen: "No idea. I'll let management worry about that. I'm just going to get back into the gym and be ready for whatever they come up with."