Jugs Of Mass Destruction (JMDD)
Sophie Howard vs Hannah Jeter (nee Davis)
(Lioness Club vs FCBA Independent)
(2-4, 2 KO vs 1-4, 1 KO)
JMD Value: 34G (Natural) vs 34C (Enhanced)
Results: Lookout!; Story: Vassago

BEFORE: The collapse of the Queendom PPV events has denied Sophie Howard the best opportunity to showcase her 34G natural talents but all hope is not lost since the stunning Merseyside brunette returns to classic jug muggin' action tonight and hopes to take down the enhanced assets of Hannah "don't call me Davis anymore" Jeter. The "real" vs "fake" rivalry is even more bitter than "brunette" vs "blonde" and Sophie is quick to point out she doesn't understand how a "plastic ho" like Jeter managed to secure that Sports Illustrated contract in first place? That's just bad taste, ya all!

Meanwhile Jeter remains unmoved by some "British bimbo's comments". She knows what home support means as wife of Derek Jeter no less and tonight's fight is held in the Madison Square Garden after all. That curious detail leaves even Erin Andrews in cheerful mood but Hannah's mediocre FCBA record simply doesn't matter inside this building. Even for someone born in the Virgin Islands so ain't exactly a home-grown talent either.

Sophie Howard wears a blue bikini set and silver gloves. Long dark brown hair with bangs loose & straight. Hannah Davis wears a yellow bikini set and black gloves. Long light brown hair in loose waves. The fight is scheduled for ten rounds in the welterweight division. JMDD rules apply.

Round 1:
Sophie didn't last a single round versus Alice Goodwin on her brief BBU return last December but blamed it on depression following lack of proper opportunities on the American market. She's got one now though and jumps into a hectic jabbing flurry that spikes Jeter's boobs from point-blank range and drops the baseball WAG on her heels before she can properly respond. Sophie does it the Mersey way and that means short fuse and plenty of juice which keeps Hannah under wraps even when she tries to brawl herself out of trouble. Howard is like a woman possessed here and lifts Jeter's rack against her chin which makes the younger model moan. It gets worse in the final minute when the English tourist traps her foe along the ropes and just keeps on rolling. Apparently that silicon inside Hannah's breasts must offer a great deal of protection since the embattled girl survives the onslaught with only brief moments of moaning but then again Sophie was very one-dimensional in her attacks.

Round 2:
"She punches like a girl!", Hannah tells the ref before the second which make the poor sucker laugh but Sophie's heard that and scampers across the canvas to immediately connect with those enhanced bumpers again. However she gets caught with a vicious hook straight between her own assets and wobbles to the side as Jeter cranks it up for the first time tonight. She spikes the brunette's ribcage and finds the solar plexus before resuming the north-south motion of her opponent's breasts. Sophie begins to squeal in pain which only fuels Hannah's work rate here. She finds another heavy series and Howard simply yields real estate instead of brawling back. Guess that Goodwin disaster still plays on her mind but the SI model doesn't care as she whoops the sluggish Mersey girl back to the ropes and signs off her recovery with a bruising drill to the tummy which leaves Sophie in all sorts of bother at the bell.

Round 3:
Both women tangle in the center of the ring and one has to admire their determination as they engage in another slugfest that lifts both natural & enhanced bumpers much to the crowd's delight. Sophie is more vocal of the two but Erin Andrews doesn't quite know whether that comes from pain or desire before Hannah actually scowls even louder when she gets smacked on the solar plexus and briefly loses her footing. Howard rallies to her tummy for a welcomed change and drives her to the ropes following a classic jug-to-jug bump. She slams a left hook on the jaw to apparently silence the moaning girl more than anything else before drilling her belly button so repeatedly that Hannah leans against the brunette's shoulder with eyes closed and begins to gurgle in utmost despair. She soaks up a lot here and looks a little woozy at the bell; Sophie has carved numerous bruises in her midsection and is truly proud of that fact.

Round 4:
Sophie thinks she's got the SI model beat but finishing touches are required... or not as Jeter yells out in frustration before blasting a left hook on the brunette's jaw herself and only then crashing down onto her chest. Ugh! Even a veteran like Howard gets caught out by the one-off punch upstairs and pays a heavy price for letting that one go away... Hannah literally screams as she hammers the juice straight up the 34G alley and she wraps the Mersey tourist into a proper juggernaut that enables her to pummel the moaning girl back to the ropes. Sophie tries to clinch but eats more beef into the tummy and Jeter leans on her so hard she almost head-butts her in the proccess. The ref doesn't mind this at all and Hannah reverts to the trademark uppercut blast that threatens to spill the brunette's boobs into the open before a desperate clinch finally halts the SI charge. Howard whacks the younger model on the kidneys simply trying to break free and almost wrestles her to the ground when Jeter refuses to obey. They begin to exchange verbal insults and hardly notice the bell that finally brings this heated dispute to a premature end.

Round 5:
Another high-octane blast leaves both girls soaking up additional damage but Sophie begins to split the American's mitts a little too often now before piercing her solar plexus yet another time. Hannah refuses to back off but begins to wobble around in wake of the tourist's punches and gets caught napping when a harpoon strike to the liver turns her sideways. She drops her arms too low and Howard hammers in the double haymaker against the exposed solar plexus again... Whoa! Hannah folds forward and signals she needs to catch her breath but still CRASHES DOWN ON HER KNEES!!! She bends her head against the canvas but rolls onto her side and the spasms of defeat kick in. "Hah! Give this tramp some oxygen! She's done!", Sophie can't wait to get her claws onto the fallen SI model but nothing can save Jeter anymore. KO5 Sophie Howard!!!

AFTER: This ain't exactly the low point of the Garden even dating back to pre-Patrick Ewing days but it's close. Sophie isn't a genuine Sports Illustrated-calliber model but she still whooped one of their very own. Guess who's back? Alice Goodwin might yet earn her Lioness revenge but now it's all about Sophie tearing into Hannah's aching tits! The poor baseball wife hasn't even regained her breath when Sophie has had her gloved removed by coach Claudia Schiffer and wants a piece of that enhanced rack even before the official result is announced. Welcome to Merseyside party live from Madison Square Garden!

Sophie shoves the kneeling Hannah to her back and mounts her before ripping her bikini top off. She then digs both her hands into the exposed rack and proceeds to maul them back & forth to increase the moaning volume from the defeated woman. "Feel that, bytch? Yeah, you can feel it! And I feel all that plastic you've got there, c####"

After an extended mauling drill Howard begins to press her butt against Jeter's ribs and hops a couple of times to make the poor girl cry out. Instead of crying Hannah would be better off admitting to the brunette's superiority and she eventually does. "Who stopped your jugs, bytch!!!", "You did... Arghhh...."

Sophie then face slaps her opponent and finally moves into applying the breast smother while the crowd has long lost it's temper. We can beer cans now flying onto the ring but that won't stop Jeter from losing her whereabouts in five... four... three... two... and she's OUT!!!"

The victorious Merseyside model climbs to her feet and waves Hannah's bikini top over her head, ducks another flying can and finally bolts to the locker room. Erin Andrews catches up with her back there several minutes later and gets to know how Sophie "would love to see the Queendom events back on the FCBA calendar. This is so much fun! It feels like a new life after all that PageThree nonsense back home. But don't let Alice Goodwin anywhere near me. I'm not ready for that lousy tramp just yet!"

Final result: Sophie Howard def. Hannah Jeter KO5.