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30 June 2018 Kristen Stewart vs Kirsten Dunst

Page history last edited by caspian2 4 years, 3 months ago

 

Posted by Wiz at Jul 1, 2018 at 11:07am

 

BEFORE:

"Look," says a hard-eyed Kirsten, "I'd have been champion years ago if I hadn't lost my management. I was right there. Right on the cusp of a title shot and it was all taken away from me. Well, it may never happen now, but, I'll tell you what IS going to happen. I'm going to kick Kristen Stewart's a**!"

"You know," says Kristen with the hint of a smile, "I can understand why Kirsten is bitter and all that. But, if she thinks she's going to work out any of that in the ring tonight, well. She's sadly mistaken."

ROUND ONE:

O'Dell: "Back at ringside and that's 'The Girl Inside' by the girl coming down to ringside right now, the lovely Kirsten Dunst, who, of course, starred in 'Spiderman'."

McCarthy: "And, I remember the last time Dunst was here. She wiped out that phony Seyfried, and it wasn't long after that Weirdo finally sent that no-talent PACKING. And, after she beats up Stewart tonight, maybe he'll finally give up on HER, too."

Tess: "Don't hold back, Mac. Tell us what you REALLY think!"

McCarthy: "SHUT UP, WALMART!"

O'Dell: "Drink up, boys, as Kirsten is helped off with the robe to reveal a black bikini and a body that's clearly been trained hard for this one. And, that's 'Helter Skelter' by the Four Lads From Liverpool you hear behind us, and here comes 'The Five-Tool Player', Kristen Stewart!"

McCarthy: "And, ONE good thing about her getting fired will be not having to hear about all the TOOLS she has anymore, because all she's got is a screwdriver and a broken hammer!"

Cassie: "You DO realize Kristen is 37-6 career, right?"

McCarthy: "Beat 37 tomato cans. Big DEAL!"

O'Dell: "K-Stew wasting no time getting down the aisle and into the ring. She's helped off with the robe by Jewel and Neve. She's wearing that lime green number we've seen before, and the crowd certainly appreciates it. And, we're about ready to go. Time for some picks. Tess likes K-Stew. Mac?"

McCarthy: "Dunst is a REAL fighter. Kirsten!"

O'Dell: "Cassie?"

Cassie: "I agree with Tess!"

O'Dell: "And, we're underway. Ladies getting their box on at mid-ring. Stewart with that long, accurate jab. She's finding Kirsten with it, working in solid right hands. Dunst angling, SLIPS THE JAB AND NAILS K-STEW WITH A RIGHT HAND and Kristen looking a little buzzed, Mac..."

McCarthy: "Not surprised. EXCELLENT right hand from Dunst."

O'Dell: "Blonde going to work now. She's got Stewart on the defensive, and she's taking advantage, letting the hands go, sitting down on her punches. Stewart looking to manage. Looks like she's got the legs under her, but she's not taking any chances, letting the older woman fight lead."

Cassie: "Yeah, definitely was buzzed, but looks like she's shaken it off now."

O'Dell: "But, Kirsten's in full control of the round as we head for the bell. Dunst looking very comfortable, getting punches put together and hard leather on target. Stewart giving ground, playing defense, countering in spots, but definitely coming out second best. There's the bell and it's Dunst wide in the first."



ROUND TWO:



O'Dell: "Second begins with Dunst aggressive again, but Kristen now getting the jab on, slowing down the blonde's offensive efforts. Stewart enforcing range with that long, accurate left, forcing Dunst to box with, and this isn't something too many flyweights are going to do successfully against Stewart, Cassie..."

Cassie: "Not many at all. This is Kristen's game. Range. Jab. And all those accurate punches."

O'Dell: "Dunst holding her own pretty well, though. She's a veteran, knows how to move the feet and head, angle. She's a good tactical fighter. And, it's good, two-way stuff here in the second as a result. GOOD combination by K-Stew that forces Dunst to cover up, but Kirsten fires right back with a combination of her own!"

Tess: "I'm impressed with Dunst in this one. Yeah, she had a nice little run several years back, but she's hardly fought since..."

O'Dell: "Well, she certainly doesn't look rusty, because she's hanging right in there with Stewart as we head into the final seconds. SHARP exchange sees sweat fly as both fighters land hard right hands and there's the bell. This was a much nearer thing, but K-Stew gets the points."

McCarthy: "And, we're even at 19."



ROUND THREE:



O'Dell: "Back to boxing in the third. Both fighters looking pretty comfortable on these terms and seeing no need to make any changes, at least for the moment. Stewart setting up behind that accurate jab, running everything else off of that. Dunst again angling, moving the head and feet..."

McCarthy: "I used to LOVE fights like this. Mac The Knife could box with any fighter on the planet. My quickness was unsurpathed."

Tess: "Unsur..."

Cassie: "Worth it, BFF?"

Tess: "No, probably not..."

O'Dell: "Let's concentrate on the RING, where we're at the half way point of the round, and there's not a lot in it. Both fighters having success at range, getting punches put together. Good defense being shown by both as well. Punches being slipped and blocked with regularity."

Cassie: "And, still plenty of leather getting on target."

O'Dell: "No doubt about it. Thirty seconds left. Another good exchange in which both fighters landed hard right hands. Nobody hurt, but both felt it. Ten seconds to go. One final flurry and there's the bell and we've had another good, two-way round, and, for the second-straight stanza, Stewart's claimed the points close."

Cassie: "29-28, K-Stew."



ROUND FOUR:

O'Dell: "Settling into ranged boxing now, as, for the fourth straight round, these are the terms both ladies want. Stewart again working everything off that left jab. Dunst angling, trying to slip and SHE NAILS STEWART WITH A RIGHT HAND! Kristen hurt this time and a BIG flurry from Kirsten and DOWN GOES K-STEW!"

McCarthy: "No one big punch in there, but a lot of hard shot!"

O'Dell: "Dunst to a neutral corner. Count at three. Four. Five. Six. Stewart sitting up. Getting to her feet at seven. Referee going to give her the mandatory and then waive on the blonde. Kirsten just letting the hands go now, driving K-Stew into the ropes and letting her have it with everything in the arsenal..."

Tess: "Dunst might be one punch away here..."

O'Dell: "And, she's got twenty seconds to land it. Kirsten winging away with both hands. Stewart keeping the guard high, rolling with, jabbing back here and there to keep the referee at bay. Ten seconds left. Good right hand by Dunst but she's not going to find the 'off' switch. There's the bell. Stewart survives it, but Dunst takes it 10-8 and grabs the lead 38-37."



ROUND FIVE:

O'Dell: "Dunst right back to work now. Stewart's legs not all the way back, and that's allowing Kirsten to get right onto the offensive and stay there. Blonde backing up the younger woman with hard flurries. She's getting a lot of leather on target right now. Stewart trying to managing, working the left hand, giving ground..."

Tess: "K-Stew just trying to run clock here, it looks like..."

Cassie: "That's EXACTLY what she's doing and exactly what she SHOULD be doing. Clock's her friend right now."

O'Dell: "Stewart staying off the ropes, keeping the guard up, willing to allow Dunst to not only fight lead but to completely control the round. Kirsten not getting sloppy. Working hard, sitting down on everything, looking for a finisher, but she's setting up her punches, not allowing Stewart any openings for a game-changer."

McCarthy: "Smart, veteran fighter. And that's what smart, veteran fighters do."

O'Dell: "Into the final 30 seconds in a round that's been all Kirsten Dunst. Stewart seems to be moving better now, but she's staying on the defensive. Dunst continuing to be in complete control as we head down the stretch. Ten seconds to go. Good flurry from Kirsten that will take us to the bell. Dunst. Shutout."

McCarthy: "And, Kirsten's now up 48-46 at the half."



ROUND SIX:

O'Dell: "Sixth round begins with more aggression from the blonde. Dunst stepping to, backing up Stewart, landing some hard shot and GETTING NAILED BY A RIGHT HAND! Stewart a brilliant right-hand counter and Kirsten is steppin' in fence post holes! K-Stew now over to the offensive in a big way..."

Cassie: "That's why you play for time, like she did in the last round..."

O'Dell: "Stewart throwing blizzards of punches at the reeling blonde, sending her back into the ropes, and now it's Dunst who's covering up as K-Stew gets off lusty. Stewart hooking a little body, but mostly working upstairs, looking for a finisher with a minute still to go in this sixth round..."

Tess: "And, like Dunst in the fourth, she might only need one punch here..."

O'Dell: "Veteran Kirsten making it hard for K-Stew to land it, though. She's got the body on sale. She's in a tight earmuff. She's countering only enough to keep the referee at bay. Stewart BANGING some body now as we head into the final seconds, trying to bring that guard down, but not going to do it. There's the bell. Stewart. Shutout."

McCarthy: "But, Dunst still up 57-56."



ROUND SEVEN:

O'Dell: "Complete 180 from the start of the last round as now it's Stewart who's coming forward and Dunst who's giving ground on somewhat shaky legs. Kristen using that accurate left to set up hard right hands, landing a lot of accurate shot right now. Blonde trying to run some clock, get those legs back..."

Cassie: "We talked about finishing earlier. Well, Kristen's a GREAT finisher, and you're seeing why. Patient. Clinical. No wasted effort or time."

O'Dell: "Dunst keeping those gloves up, firing back in spots, but it's Stewart in charge, as she lands another good right hand and THEN STAGGERS DUNST WITH A LEFT HOOK! Right hand, Kristen and it's BLONDE GIRL DOWN! Dunst dropped to her back by a straight right hand!"

Tess: "After that one, BFF, you might want to sing..."

O'Dell: "Stewart to a neutral corner to watch and wait. Dunst with the eyes closed as the referee's count reaches three. Four. Five. Kirsten staring up at him now, watching the numbers get bigger. Six. Seven. Eight. Not going to happen for the blonde. Nine. TEN! It's OVER! And your winner by KO7 is Kristen Stewart!"

McCarthy: "Lucky punch!"



AFTER:

O'Dell: "Let's go up to the ring and Cassie Scerbo!"

Cassie: "I have our winner, Kristen Stewart, and, K-Stew, she gave you a fight in there..."

Kristen (nodding): "No surprise. This is a girl who's beaten good fighters. She's no opponent. She can fight."

Cassie: "But, when you got her in trouble, you made no mistake..."

Kristen: "No, and that's the key in the FCBA. When you get a chance, you have to make the most of it, because you might not get another."

Cassie: "What's next for you?"

Kristen: "We'll see what the future brings, but, I'm up for anything or anyone in this division." 

 

 

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