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27 July 2018 Charlize Theron vs Kira Kosarin

Page history last edited by caspian2 4 years, 4 months ago

 

 

 

Posted by Lookout! Boxing on Jul 28, 2018 at 10:33am

 

Charlize Theron (Chimera) vs Kira Kosarin (Bonzo's Gym) Result:Lookout/Story:simgrrl
Theron: (42yo, 5'10", 121#, 245-111-12; 61% KOs) vs Kosarin: (20yo, 5'8", 118#, 12-4-0; 100% KO!)

 

Before: Kosarin must feel like she "owns" Chimera! In her brief career, Kira's 3-0 against Chimera after soundly whipping their top two lightweights, Blake Lively (a former lightweight champion) and Jessica Nigri (a former JMD champion). She also took Jennifer Lawrence (a perennial welter top ten title contender) to the woodshed! All three wins were by KO, just three more victims on Kira's unblemished record of not never having to wait for a decision to confirm her victories. 

Her opponent tonight, Charlize Theron, is a Hall of Famer whose 245 victories may never be equaled in the FCBA. She's held AT LEAST 24 titles in a long and illustrious career spanning over 20 years and more than 370 fights in several Federations and 4 different weight classes: Bantam, Light, Welter, and Middle! She's fought about every woman of note in the FCBA in - and out of - her own weight class at one time or another, and there are some who will say she's aggravated even more women than she's fought!

Kira, on the other hand, couldn't be more popular among her peers - at least those she hasn't knocked out yet! She's young, exuberant, photogenic, and (according to the critics) a darn good young actress. Not that any of those attributes are going to help her against the G.O.A.T. - the Greatest Of All Time - a woman who, even her most critical critics grudgingly admit, has done more than anyone to raise the public perception of the FCBA and female celebrity boxing in general!

There was some excitement leading up to this fight! It's been reported that some "banter" between the two women at the contract signing got out of hand and became heated. Apparently, Kosarin made what she felt was a light-hearted reference to being undefeated against "the women of Chimera." Theron seemed to lose her composure, and after an exchange of insults,told Kira, "kiss my (posterior)!"

At first taken aback, Kosarin said she would... but ONLY if Theron could beat her. Irate that this young kid had the gall to assume victory, Charlize replied, "No, I expect you to kiss the butts of all the Chimera lightweights." From that point, things rapidly escalated, but Kosarin did finally say "that's acceptable" but then she added the condition, "after I knock your old ass out, I want you and all those Chimera's gals to line up and kiss mine!" 

Finally, someone from the FCBA got smart and stepped in to pull the plug. Later, independent sources were later able to get (unofficial) confirmation from both camps that each intends to hold the other to "her promise" - although it was never actually specified exactly what promise, since most were more of a threat, or a dare... but at some point, each DID sound like she was willing - with stipulations.
Now, is that interesting, or not? Guess we'll all have to just wait to find out.
* * * 

Attire:

http://www.stonecatfights.com/kimgin/bikini_ltblu.jpg
http://www.stonecatfights.com/kimgin/string_ct.jpg


Kira Kosarin is introduced first and she comes out with her trainer, Nadia Bjorlin. Kira's wearing a blue bikini (above) with red shoes and white gloves, her dark hair done up in a battle braid. Charlize "The Golden Goddess" Theron comes out second, but only after keeping Kosarin waiting in her corner while Theron's entourage (Rousey, Ryan and Liz Berkley) precede her down the aisle, strewing rose pedals in her path! From the expression on Kira and Nadia's faces it's clear they don't appreciate either the show, or the delay! 

Theron decked out in a red print triangle thong bikini (see above) leaving little of her trim, tight, and surprisingly muscular appearing, 42 year old body to the imagination. Her gloves are almost blood red, her feet, bare as usual and her golden mane is chopped short, ending mid-way down the back of her neck.

The referee for this fight is the legendary ten-time FCBA champion, Cindy Crawford who's working her 27th FCBA bout as either a referee or scorekeeper. She's in a black mini-skirt and striped referee shirt tied up under her still-impressive bosom. Cindy calls the fighters together for her instructions, then sends them back to their corners. 
* * *
During R1: Theron, usually a careful and cautious starter in her fights, comes out like she'd been stuck in the arse with a needle. Charlize swarming all over Kira in the first minute; landing hard shots with both fists; rocking the young brunette back on her heels. Kira tries to clinch, but Charlize shrugs her off, shoves her back to the ropes where she drives several hooks crashing into Kosarin's belly! Kira struggling to wrap her arms around Theron's broad shoulders, pulling the big blond into her, then digging to the old woman's kidneys with either hand. Theron smacking Kira upside the head as they reel and whirl about at center ring like they're 'Dancing with the Stars' instead of FCBA.
Kira bringing shots up from her thighs, working that Charlize paunch that so many others have found is the key to unlocking the door to victory. Theron not liking the attention her belly button's getting, but she's having trouble disengaging from Kosarin, who's using her left hand to lock Theron's right arm, preventing her from punching with it or to defend herself against Kosarin's body attack! Crawford letting them sort themselves out, keeping her distance...to Theron's disadvantage it seems.
At last Theron able to squirm free of Kosarin's grasp and as she's pulling back, Kira lands her first hard punch of the round, a right hand that rocks Theron as she stumbles backward off balance. Kosarin quick to chase behind her left, keeping it in Charlize's face, obstructing her vision and annoying her with its persistent presence. A Theron left hook digs in under Kira's right elbow and hurts Kosarin; heavy right cross suddenly unhinges Kira's legs and DOWN GOES KOSARIN! Kira dropped on her firm young butt at the ropes by the right, sits up blinking in disbelief. Kira pulling herself up and being checked by Crawford with thirty seconds left in the round. 
Theron with a flurry of body shots doubles Kosarin over, but a sweeping right hand to the head just misses the sweet spot and instead knocks Kira backward and out of reach before another punch is thrown. Theron being patient, jabbing and looking for just the right spot to fit in another big right hand but Kira Kosarin makes it to the bell without further damage as referee Cindy Crawford jumps in at the bell to intercept another Theron right hand. Big opening round by Theron who scores the KD in the final minute to step back to her corner with a big edge on all three scorecards.

Rd 2: Bonzo's babes quickly on Kosarin whose left eye is showing early signs of swelling. Both women stand before the bell and - as she did in the first - Theron's quick off the mark, looking to end the fight early. Slow starts put her at a disadvantage in several previous fights and it seems she's finally got round to fixing that problem at least. Her other issues may be beyond her capability to repair, however. She's not going to get any younger! 
Theron keeping pressure on Kosarin. Kira's having trouble adjusting as her usual style is to go straight at opponents, she looks a little awkward fighting backing away! Charlize using her left to hook the body steadily, sometimes throwing three or four in rapid succession. Kira's feeling the heat as Theron's driving her to Kira's left, right into Charlize's right hand! Theron having success with both hands now, lefts to the body and rights to the head give Kira no place to go other to back up and she quickly runs out of real estate, ending up trapped with her back on the ropes - which is where she spends much of the last half of the round.
Theron's upper body in constant movement, never giving Kira the same look twice, just when Kosarin has her figured out, Charlize changes things up, drops a left hook on Kira's right cheek, then slams a low right in under Kossie's left elbow. Once again, Kira's hurt to the body and forced to clinch! Kira the stronger woman in the clinches, and she's doing a fair job of tying Theron's arms up, but Charlize can still free one hand or the other and as soon as she gets one free, it goes smashing into one flank or the other. All that body punching adds up - as Theron well knows from being on the receiving end of it in more than 350 FCBA fights, so she looks determined not to give Kosarin any time to mount an offense. Closing seconds and Charlize lands a flurry of four or five consecutive punches, driving Kira back onto the ropes again at the bell. Crawford quick to intervene and sends Charlize back to her stool with a big smile on her (unmarked as yet) face. Kosarin, head down, trudges to her corner where trainer Nadia Bjorlin greets her with a faceful of cold water and a slap on the butt and the obligatory, "Yur blowin' it kiddo!" As once again, Charlize takes the second round on points, wide. That's two in a row!

Rd 3: At least the swelling on Kira's left eye hasn't gotten worse. Theron's breathing a lot harder than after the first round. Her usual conditioning problem resurfacing? Or perhaps it's simply old age? Something to keep an eye on, because it's clear Kosarin's handlers are on top of things in that regard! To be expected, this round both women arrive at center ring together and after an exchange of several punches apiece, they circle, each to her left. Theron's left still doing most of the work for her, she's keeping it in Kira's face enough that Kosarin can't really make any headway, although she's putting serious effort into her attempts to move forward, her preferred mode of attack. The girl's going to have to improve her counter-punching if she's going to hope to beat experienced fighters like Charlize, though there aren't ANY with her huge depth of experience! 
Kira holding her own through the first minute plus, an accomplishment compared to the first two rounds. She's starting to get back into Theron's body with the right, not often, but at least enough to force Charlize to respect the threat and not take too many chances. Kosarin's effective use of the right has negated Theron's left hand so far this round, which has opened up opportunities for Kira to bring her left hook back into the game, it's a big part of her arsenal and she's using it to make Charlize aware of it at every opportunity. Theron's offensive output not only less this round, but what there is of it is less effective as well and while some of that is likely due to her having spent a lot of energy the first couple of rounds, Kosarin's more effective use of her left hand gets a lot of credit. Charlize's belly is really taking a pounding this round and the smooth, gently rounded curve of her paunch has taken on a healthy rosy glow thanks to Ms. Kosarin's massaging it.
Final minute of this round is critical, if Theron can get something going, she can equalize, but if Kira puts her foot down, she could bank some critical points. And that's what Kira does, up-tempoing as her corner starts to pound the mat telling her there's a minute remaining. The opening shot is a three punch combination by Kira, left, right, left hook to the body and the third punch doubles Theron over gasping. Charlize forced to clinch, loses her ability to mount any effective offense in the final minute which is all Kira Kosarin as she hammers away to Charlize's body, punishing the older woman as she forces her to back pedal until her butt hits the ropes. With nowhere to go, Charlize can only suffer under the brunette's bludgeoning blows until Cindy comes to pry them apart. Charlize doesn't see Crawford give Kira a little pat on the rump as she sends her back to her corner as Kira wins round with a shutout!

Rd 4: Kosarin's closed the point gap, but there's still work to do. She gets down to business, sprinting out of her corner at the bell to attack Theron who's standing over her stool, waiting for Ryan to pull it out of the way. Right hand lead slams into Theron's forehead and she sees stars as her butt hits the buckles. 
Kira chug, chug, chugs a heap of hard uppercut rights and lefts, all go deep into the soft flesh between Theron's belly button and the band of her low-slung thong bottom. She's likely wishing she'd chosen high-waist instead of the one that barely hides the necessities and leaves a lot of exposed belly for Kira to legally take shots at!
Charlize hunkered down in her own corner, gloves earmuffed, elbows tucked in trying (in vain) to hide her vulnerable middle from the young snipers potshots. Kira crouching, body canted forward, her head on Theron's shoulder, cheeks rubbing as Kosarin turns one shoulder, then the other, into Charlize as she clears room to draw back and drive her fists into the aging superstar's torso. Kira doesn't ignore Theron's taa-taa's, they're too easy a target - and everyone knows how effective a little JMD action can be against a woman who so clearly gets upset by it! Theron's head and shoulders jerk upward with each thumping impact of Kosarin's fists coming up inside, sending ripples rolling through her 42 year old body. 
Charlize, arms crossed in front of her chest, bulldozes Kira back, creating room to run as she comes off the ropes behind her right hand, slamming it into Kosarin's head, then Theron slips past Kira's left side as her body swivels under the impact. Theron free at last, jogs to open space, then turns to meet Kira's pursuit head-on. Charlize reaching back a dozen or so years, gives Kira the old "Sugar Ray Leonard shuffle" then unleashes a series of punches that stop the brunette in her tracks!
Theron surging forward behind her combinations, forcing Kosarin back across the ring. Fans on their feet screaming as Charlize gives them a fifteen second reminder of just how good she used to be - back in the day. Final thirty seconds must seem like hours to Kosarin as Charlize throws at least twenty punches; one after another, coming so rapidly it's not until the next day when they review the video in slo-mo that they can count them. Kira, who had a solid, dominating, round in her hands, lets much of it slip thru her fingers as Charlize puts on one of those judge-fooling showcases of her punching prowess that leaves the referee, the judges and the fans all recalling how much in awe they were of her back years ago when the G.O.A.T. really was, "the greatest." Kira hangs on to win the round, but closer than it would have been thanks to Charlize's furious finishing kick.

Rd 5: Charlize Theron inspired her fans, and her corner, with her inspiring reach back in time. When she sat down, Rousey gushed over her - while Jeri Ryan did her usual, slipped a couple of cold packs into Theron's cups to cool the JMD-ified flesh Kira had lit up. As Jeri leaned over Charlize's shoulder from behind to listen to their chat, her hands cupped Charlize's bosom, supposedly holding the cold packs in just the "right spot" to provide maximum relief. Theron up for the bell, walking out to face Kosarin; the two of them looking like gunfighters from a 1950's western ("Shane" or "High Noon" came to mind as I saw their bodies canted forward, hands at their hips ready to draw...or throw punches! (It gave me goosebumps!)
One who didn't have goosebumps was Kira Kosarin, because Charlize beat her to the draw and almost took her head off with a lead right! Kira's knees wobbled and she stutter-stepped back struggling to stay on her feet, her left hand reaching out as if to grab Charlize to steady herself. But Theron brushed it aside, raising her right, then snapped the right in a sweeping arc that just caressed Kira's left cheek as it came down, then continued across Kosarin's chest, slapping her jubblies, before Charlize's right hand ended up against her own left hip!
So contorted was she, that she left herself completely exposed and if Kira had been able to get her feet under her, she might have ended the fight with one punch. As it was, Kosarin kept stumbling back and Charlize hobbled off to her left, like two ships passing in the night. They each righted herself, and turned to face the other, but by then, any advantage either may have had was gone. But that didn't keep them from throwing leather - in what was the most action-filled thirty seconds of the fight, both women threw at least ten punches, and almost all of them landed! Somewhere.
There was no time to set and aim, they each just punched and punched and punched; mindlessly; as rapidly as they could; without thought, strictly muscle memory. Kira may have landed more often, but Charlize's were harder, more telling. It wasn't obvious to the fans, not until they realized Kira had started backing up while Theron was moving forward behind her leather barrage. It might have been the turning point of the fight! 
Theron finished the round by drilling three crisp shots; a left hook just above Kira's right hip, a right cross to the middle of her chest, and finished up leaning into an overhand left to Kosarin's right cheek that spun her around and sent her chest first into the ropes, her arms draped over the top rope and her knees on the middle strand. Cindy Crawford was moving toward Kira when the bell rang and she put her arm up in front of Charlize - just in case. Theron spun away and strutted back to her corner, her arms raised while Crawford put her arm around Kosarin's waist and helped her to her corner. Charlize Theron had won the fifth round on points, wide, which gave her a 3-2 lead in rounds, but her point advantage was much greater.

Rd 6: Kosarin looking shaky from the near knockdown during the break as her handlers went back to close a small cut over her, again swelling up, left eye. Rousey, looking up as the round card girl in a bikini even smaller than Theron's strutted past holding up a huge "6" and couldn't believe they were already into the second half of the fight. Ronni reminded Charlize, "Pace yourself, hon. Still five to go." 
Theron shook her head, "I'm taking her out this round. Then she can start kissing butts." 
Ryan stopped rubbing Charlize's breasts long enough to counsel patience, but Theron would have none of it. She clearly had her heart set on collecting on their bet and the sooner the better!
At the bell, for the first time in the fight, Charlize was still seated. She got up, and only then realized Kira was sitting on her stool too. When Theron took a step toward her, Kosarin stood and began to circle away, her eyes blinking rapidly. Her corner yelled, "Keep away, Kir... stick and move, move... move!" She kept backing away, forcing Charlize to angle away to cut off her retreat. But when she did, Kira reversed and circled back to her corner, forcing Theron to try to chase her again. Charlize angrily cursed herself for her impatience as she whirled around and raced to cut off Kosarin at the other side of the ring. 
This time when Charlize cut off her escape, Kira had no choice but to turn and face the music! Theron threw herself at Kosarin, her right hand cocked back over her shoulder. She left her feet and unleashed a 'Superman' punch like some character in a B-movie. Just as she threw the punch, Charlize felt a twinge of guilt and there as a small part of her that hoped she wouldn't hurt Kira too badly. She was so intent on her own punch, she forgot about Kira and when Charlize's right fist sailed past within inches of Kira's nose, Kosarin's own right hand crashed into Theron's beautiful, movie star, nose, flattening it as it mushroomed sideways under both of her eyes. Kira's gloved fist kept moving onto Theron's eyes, as well as her mouth, while her head was knocked back! THERON GOES DOWN!
At this point, scientific principals came into play! Charlize had jumped in the air as she threw her punch, so linear momentum kept her body moving forward toward Kira. The thrust of Kira's punch, pushed Charlize's head backward. As her upper body arched back, her hips, butt and legs continued forward, with her feet rising slightly. Her body leveled out parallel to the ring, when the final scientific principal, gravity, took over. She stopped in mid-air, hung there a millisecond, then dropped straight down and hit the canvas flat on her back, knocking the air out of her! 
Fortunately, unlike a fighter who gets hit while standing, she was airborne, so the force of the punch was lessened as her upper "rolled with the punch" - and while she wasn't fully conscious when she hit the canvas, she wasn't UN-conscious either. One other thing had happened which aided Theron... as her feet came up, her left foot hit Cindy Crawford in the face and her right kicked Kira in the chest. Neither was hurt, but Crawford was shocked and took a moment to recover. Kira was stunned by being kicked in the bosom, but not hurt; but she still needed a few seconds to realize what happened. 
The same was true of the judges, the fans and the managers, trainers, and other ringside officials. By the time everyone got their head around it, Charlize had sat up and was looking around wondering what hit her. She was down and had to get up, so she grabbed the ropes and started to drag herself up. The timekeeper may have missed a second or two, but Crawford picked up the count where it was and continued. Charlize's gloves and knees were off the canvas by "NINE" and after Crawford wasted several more seconds picking up Charlize's mouthpiece, quickly rinsing it and asking her her phone number, Theron was - not 100% - but at least capable of defending herself.
That Charlize survived the last 1:45 of the round was due as much to Kira's inexperience as to Theron's hardiness, although both were major factors and to assign more weight to one than the other would be impossible. Suffice it to say, Kira beat the tar out of Charlize's body which still felt the after shock of her impact with the ring as well as Kosarin's punch. As Theron cinched and hung on, Kira battered away at her ribs and kidneys. Whenever Kira could create space between them, her fists smashed Theron's already achy abs until her belly was bright red. Of course, Kira went often to her left hook, as well as her uppercut. Theron was bleeding from her nose and lower lip and now Kira blackened her right eye as well. A few uppercuts smashed Charlize's "puppies" flat, not an uncommon event in her fights, but since she'd made the now regrettable choice of a minimalist string bikini, her puppies got off their leash several times - and each time referee Crawford stopped the fight to reign in the straying puppy and gently push, shove, or otherwise jam it back in its kennel (euphemistically speaking).
Those few breaks greatly aided Theron's survival, although how much is impossible to guess. But by the end of the round, Charlize Theron was a bloody, breathless, battered and disheveled woman who may not have made it to her stool without the support of the referee, Jeri Ryan and Ronda Rousey who rushed to help. With Kira's dramatic and unforgettable knockdown early in the round, and her domination afterward, it was easy to see why she won the round wide.

Rd 7: Elizabeth 'Liz' Berkley had taken the starring role in "Striptease" away from Charlize Theron, but she more than repaid her debt with her work between rounds stopping the bleeding, opening nasal passages and icing down her right eye - all while working around Jeri Ryan who was rearranging Theron's top and trainer Ronda Rousey who was checking her cellphone for a religious web site offering prayers for boxers who seemed to have none. When the bell rang, Charlize was able to rise (thanks to Ryan's hands on her butt, Rousey tugging her left arm and Berkley pulling her right)/ She trudged out to meet her fate, in the svelte form of Kira Kosarin who couldn't stop licking her chops as she'd ogled Theron's corner across the ring during the break with all the intense interest of a big bad wolf looking at a plate of pork chops!
Having gotten an earful from her trainers about her earlier mistakes after she let Charlize off the hook by rushing to finish her off and hadn't done it, now Kira was going to do the job properly. She kept pumping her left in Theron's, face and soon had her nose bleeding again; she relied on her left hook to continue to devastate Charlize's mid-section, while she kept her right cocked and ready, chopping it down onto her throbbing bosom whenever her face or head wasn't available - which they were...far too often.
After her easy-peasy first few rounds, Charlize had run into a brunette buzz saw who not only was giving her the worst beating she'd suffered in quite a while, but had Tess Valmore, sitting happily at ringside typing furiously on her laptop, doubtlessly writing Theron's FCBA obituary...one Tess would say was long overdue. 
Charlize struggling to protect all of her battered body, because wherever Kira hit her hurt...a lot! And she had to keep punching or Crawford would stop the fight, something many in the crowd were calling for already. But Kosarin was still rushing and not setting Charlize up for the knockout, but from the way Charlize was staggering around the ring whenever she couldn't take advantage of putting her back to the ropes and leaning on them, Kira's best option might have been to just step back and wait for Theron to collapse on her own. Certainly Charlize was using Kira to hold her up when she could clinch, although Kosarin didn't seem to have any trouble shrugging her off whenever she felt like it. 
Kira contented herself with smashing Charlize's abs...the ones she was so proud of when she saw her reflection in the mirror when she tried on that scandalously skimpy little string bikini in the shop last week! And how she flaunted her newly "hardened" body strutting down the aisle in the prefight, with those ridiculous rose pedals being tossed. The worst thing of all, of course, hadn't even happened yet. That would be when she - and her stable mates - were going to have to kiss Kira's ass in the ring, because there was no way Charlize was going to be able to take this kind of punishment for another three rounds, plus the minute or less remaining in this round. 
SPLAT! "Uhhhhnnnnnnn...." Another left hook pancaked her right breast and Charlize almost spit out her mouthpiece. She shook her head and for a second, Kira and Cindy Crawford both thought she was giving up, but then she threw a left-right combination to show she was still intent on fighting. That the right hand missed by at least a foot didn't seem to matter to Crawford, but I reassured Kosarin and even encouraged her to try another right of her own, one that slammed Charlize back into the Bonzo corner just as the bell rang to end the 7th round, one which Kira won easily, although without having done much damage to add to that already inflicted.

R8: Liz Berkley earning her pay; treating the open cut over Charlize's right eye, her bloody nose and icing her lip to reduce the swelling. Jeri Ryan doesn't have her hands full dealing with Charlize's bikini top - there's a joke there somewhere. Rousey apparently found her web site, because she's giving Theron inspirational advice. 
Across the ring, Koscarin being read the riot act by Bjorlin, or maybe it's not an "act". Theron's been ready to collapse several times, but Kira just can't seem to "pull the trigger" or find Charlize's "off" switch, or choose a metaphor she likes.
At the bell, Kosarin eagerly off her stool looking to end this thing. The way to Theron's "heart" is thru her stomach and that's the route Kira's trainers have laid out for her. "Kill the body" is her mantra. The best thing is that Charlize is hardly throwing any punches, she's just trudging around the ring, pawing with her left hand in Kira's face. It's annoying the heck out of Kosarin, but at least she knows where it is at all times. Every time Kira punches Theron's body, the willowy blond grunts or moans... Kira's finding a lot of job satisfaction in this fight, she's thinking seriously of offering Charlize a rematch soon, just so she can hear the sweet sound of...Kosarin's hurt!
A harmless looking right by Charlize clipped the end of Kira's chin and the brunette suddenly went all wonky! Charlize, eyes wide with surprise and disbelief at her luck, drives a straight left into Kira's face, and holds it there as she loads up her right for an uppercut and lets fly! Locarin thrown backward, then topples over and crashes to the mat on her back. She's really hurt! Kira struggles to her knees, but then she collapses back on her haunches and sits there slumped forward, her arms down in front of her knees, her gloves on the mat. She's shaking her head but she's unable to rise and Crawford's count passes her by, leaving Kosarin - and her trainers - bereft. Charlize Theron takes it in a stunning TKO8.
* * *
After: Everyone else in the arena is equally shocked by the unexpected and sudden end of the fight, and many - including the FCBA - are somewhat concerned about what may happen next! 

But with Kosarin stretched out in the ring... lets not forget that Charlize Theron just notched her biggest victory in two years. Not since 7-29-16 (Yvonne Strahovski) had Theron been able to claim a victory over a superior fighter. But this stunningly unexpected KO8 does have the singular benefit of finally putting an end to Kira Kosarin's "ownership" of the Chimera women! 

As Kira is being tended to by Nadia Bjorlin and the FCBA first responders, a parade of women from the Chimera seating section begins to gather and head to the ring to join Charlize and Jeri Ryan. They include some surprising names in addition to the one's you expect to see (Jessica Nigri and Blake Lively). Also climbing thru the ropes are all the other lightweights in the stable, either as assistant trainers, the medical and office staff, anyone who can claim lightweight cred is there!

COO Catherine Zeta-Jones - a former two-time lightweight champion - leads the parade, followed by EMT/massage therapist, and one time lightweight title holder, Elizabeth Hurley. They're accompanied by three others who fought at lightweight, Angelina Jolie, Katie Holmes and Jennifer "J-Lo" Lopez! In fact, Jolie challenged Catherine Zeta-Jones when CZJ held the title (some years ago, but for those who might be wondering how long ago? It WAS this century!)

The women line up across the ring in front of Theron, who is slumped on her stool looking far more like the loser than the winner in this contest. Ryan and Theron make a total of nine (9) lightweights and they all expect to get Kira's lips on their derriere. Kira slowly coming around, looks over and her eyes widen in stunned disbelief! "No way I'm kissing all those saggy asses," someone at ringside overheard and tweeted it out immediately. Within an hour, over a million people knew what Kira thought of the Chimera women's anatomy!

Despite what some may think, however, in the end, cooler heads prevailed and the proverbial plug is indeed, pulled. This may be to the dismay of some, but while Charlize and Co. vow to hold Kira to some kind of promise, it won’t be tonight. There are certainly some prospects of another post-match brawl, but after paying out all of those security bonuses, hazard pay and overtime after the big Fourth of July “fireworks” earlier this month, the FCBA is not keen to repeat that tonight as both stables bring their full roster to support one another. 

In the stands, you can see other stables itching to join the fray, such as longtime rivals Lookout! Boxing, with referees intervening to make sure that Kira is able to exit on her own two feet, obviously still dazed and coming to terms with her unexpected loss. Clearly, Kira hoped to keep up her domination of the Chimera stable, but not tonight and not on Theron’s watch. Charlize summoning some of that legendary magic back out again and the fans are lucky to see this throwback, classic performance. 

Surrounding by her fellow stable members and lightweights, Charlize is proudly calling out any number of other lightweights as she proudly declares she’s “back” and after a performance like that, there’s nobody to say otherwise. Except, of course, for the rest of the league who will be all too happy to test Theron’s claims and naturally, Charlize will be just as eager to prove them wrong - just like she has her whole career!

THE END 

 

 

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