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31 July 2018 Kristen Stewart vs Christina Aguilera

Page history last edited by caspian2 4 years, 4 months ago

Posted by Wiz on Aug 1, 2018 at 8:40am

BEFORE:

"It's funny," says Christina with a smile. "Our whole careers it's been about who's better, me or Britney. Well. I'm still here and she's eating bonbons at poolside while pretending to train girls like Stewart, so that answers that. And, if you're wondering what kind of trainer she is, I'll answer THAT shortly."

"You know what's funny," says a hard-eyed Kristen. "This girl's talking about Britney, but she isn't going to be looking across the ring at Britney. She's going to be looking across the ring at the next girl who knocks her on her a**!"

ROUND ONE:

O'Dell: "Back at ringside and that's 'Super b*tch', and here comes the singer of that tune, the lovely Christina Aguilera of Staten Island!"

Tess: "And, of course, Christina a long-time foil of Front Street, going all the way back to 2010's Hallowe'en Party at The Manor, when she orchestrated a hit on Britney Spears. The result of that was Aguilera getting knocked out by Spears the following April."

Cassie: "Christina's also been here to Asylum where she was stopped in Pink's retirement match in December, 2016."

O'Dell: "Aguilera into the ring and helped off with the robe to reveal a white number that show's she's in great shape for this one, and that's 'Helter Skelter' you hear behind us, and that can only mean that the FCBA's biggest fan of The Four Lads from Liverpool, 'The Five-Tool Player', Kristen Stewart, is on her way to the ring!"

McCarthy: "And this girl is the DEFINITION of an overrated Dancing Hooker. Never beats anybody ever. Even Walmart knows that!"

Cassie: "Kristen's on the top of the Front Street flyweight division, but there's plenty of competition there these days, so she needs a win tonight."

O'Dell: "Stewart into the ring and helped off with the robe by Jewel and Neve. She's wearing that lime green number we've seen before, and it's time for some picks. Tess likes K-Stew. Mac?"

McCarthy: "Aguilera's nothing special, but she's won fights in the FCBA. She'll beat Stewart."

O'Dell: "Cassie?"

Cassie: "I agree with Tess!"

O'Dell: "First round begins with Aguilera immediately stepping to, crowding Stewart, mugging and mauling in there. Kristen giving some ground, trying to circle away, get some space to box, the older woman not having any of it. No surprise, because Christina's not winning this boxing..."

Cassie: "She absolutely is not. Her path to victory here is doing exactly what she's doing."

O'Dell: "And, that's exactly why she's doing it. Aguilera's been around the FCBA a long time. And, she's showing those veteran wiles right now, working inside, leveraging Stewart, keeping her off balance, tying her up, smothering her offense. It's not pretty, but it's plenty effective..."

Tess: "Referee needs to watch for low blows. I still remember that fight with Britney..."

O'Dell: "Everything's been legal so far, and it's also been plenty effective. Stewart working hard to get some space, to get anything going. Meanwhile, Aguilera scoring to the body, landing the occasional hook to the head. Ten seconds to go. Good right hook, Christina, and there's the bell. Aguilera and wide in the first."

McCarthy: "I TOLD you she was going to win..."

ROUND TWO:

O'Dell: "Second begins with Stewart getting that left jab on target and changing the terms of this thing completely. K-Stew keeping Christina off now, using the jab to stop her as she attempts to come forward and leave her hanging out on the end of Stewart's glove for the follow on right hands."

Cassie: "Now, THIS is what Kristen wants to do."

O'Dell: "Indeed, it is. K-Stew getting her box on, using those accurate left hands to set the older woman up for those hard rights, building combinations, keeping Aguilera on her back foot. Christina continuing her efforts to work in, but they're not bearing any fruit. Instead, Stewart's now getting the terms she wants."

McCarthy: "And, we're seeing a complete 180 as a result."

O'Dell: "Indeed, we are. Coming down the stretch, and, as much as Aguilera dominated the last round, Stewart's dominated this one. Christina's not hurt, but she's getting touched up in a major way, as Kristen rolls up the score as we head to the bell. One last combination from K-Stew and there it is. Stewart wide in the second."

Tess: "And, we're even at 19."

ROUND THREE:

O'Dell: "Another round and another adjustment. Aguilera changing tactics some here. She's still working forward, but, rather than try to bull rush K-Stew, she's angling, moving the feet, keeping the gloves high. Kristen still making things difficult for the older woman with that jab, holding her up, but Christina managing to get in tight at times now."

Tess: "And, when she does, she's wasting no time getting right back to what she was doing in the first, mugging and mauling."

O'Dell: "And, again, those tactics are effective for her. She's getting Stewart off balance, getting her on the defensive, and scoring points to both head and body. Stewart tying Christina up. Forcing the referee to break, getting some space to get back to that jab and back to boxing."

McCarthy: "One of those situations where neither fighter's getting all of what she wants."

O'Dell: "Exactly, Mac, and the result is that we've got a close round, with what Stewart's doing at range offsetting what Aguilera's doing in close. Twenty seconds left in the round. Christina slipping past K-Stew's defenses, working her to the body. Kristen tying up and there's the bell. Very close. Aguilera."

Cassie: "And, Christina's back up 29-28."

ROUND FOUR:

O'Dell: "Fourth begins the same way the third ended, with Aguilera moving the feet, angling, keeping the gloves up, looking to work past Stewart's glove. Kristen, meanwhile, giving a little ground, using excellent footwork to try to stay square and keep the older woman at bay."

Tess: "That little backward step making a difference, giving Stewart juuusssttt an instant longer to get a punch home and stop Christina's forward motion."

O'Dell: "And, it's making a difference, because Aguilera IS being held on the outside, unable to close, getting touched up just like she did in the second. Christina still pressuring, though. Looking for any crack in Stewart's defenses and GETTING ROCKED! Aguilera hurt by that right hand and DOWN SHE GOES!"

Cassie: "Right cross at the end of the flurry landed right on the BUTTON!"

O'Dell: "Yes, it did and it sent Aguilera splashing to her back. Stewart to a neutral corner. Referee's count at three. Four. Five. Six. Aguilera rolls to her belly. Seven. Eight. Nine. TEN! It's OVER! Christina not even able to push to all fours and it's OVER and your winner by KO4 is 'The Five-Tool Player', Kristen Stewart!"

McCarthy: "I TOLD you she'd win!"

AFTER:

O'Dell: "Let's go up to the ring and Cassie Scerbo!"

Cassie: "I have our winner, Kristen Stewart, and, K-Stew, she gave you a little trouble early..."

Kristen (nodding): "Got very aggressive, very physical. It wasn't a surprise. We expected it. I just didn't HANDLE it as well as I should have."

Cassie: "But, you adjusted and pretty quickly, too..."

Kristen (nodding): "Lots of girls try to do that against me, so it's nothing I haven't seen. You aren't making any money boxing me, so, girls don't try to do that. But. Here's the thing. You aren't making any money trying to crowd me, either, as Christina just found out."