Blake Lively v Adrienne Palicki

 (Words: Sceej/ Results: Lookout!)

BEFORE: Matchup of two veteran lightweights; both passed over for championship tournament and looking to position themselves for title run when dust clears. Both rangy types, Palicki a hair taller, Lively four years younger. Palicki with the better record and the owner of a KO4 victory over Lively in their only meeting way back in 2008 but Lively has the better recent history.

Press conference is icy but respectful; these girls know what’s on the line. The road back to being a contender for the winner; the loser likely heading toward “opponent” status – the type of fighter that the young up and coming lights will look for so they can add “defeated a former lightweight champion” to their resumes. With reservations from Sceej Boxing’s acting administrator, Jamie Lynn Spears, Palicki has veteran second Scrubby McGee working her corner and yes, McGee is drunk at the press conference but the Chin Checker feels McGee gets the best out of her. 

Blake dismissive of the prior fight, “A decade ago – literally! We were both rookies for God’s sake. Adrienne caught me and got the KO – props to her – but I was winning that fight. And our careers are going in opposite directions now. This win is going to position me to challenge the winner of the lightweight title tournament – it’s perfect, actually. Dust will clear and I’ll be the number one contender and whoever wins it is going to be badly used up by the tournament format. No hard feelings, Adrienne, but you are in my way and being in Blake Lively’s way is a bad bad place to be! Get ready for a boxing lesson!”

When mic is turned over to Big Adrienne, she leans into reporters mics, mutters “Talk is cheap” and leaves. Mic drop, Adrienne.

Fight night – Lively in classic black bikini, black boot and gloves. Palicki in orange crocheted bikini, red gloves and white boots.

Round 1: Lively out of corner, on toes and circling left, hands low and loose; Palicki stalking with right mitt tight to the cheek, left low. Lively jab jab jab … finding big girl’s face then dancing back . Sudden change of direction, she circles right, stops on a dime and rings up Palicki with a straight right hand. Adrienne a stumbling step back. Lively not reckless, back on her bicycle, skipping circles left, beckoning opponent to follow. “Cut the ring … cut the damn ring!” from Scrubby McGee but Palicki continues to follow, occasionally eating the Lively jab for her troubles. Lively plants, feints jab and throw right lead which rings off forehead, then left right left rough to the body and Palicki forced to clinch. Ref having a job forcing them apart, ladies jawing and NOT exchanging cookie recipes. Once separated, Palicki lunges with overhand right, blonde slips it and delivers cuffing left to side of Adrienne’s face as Blake skips away. Bell rings and it’s a first round shutout Blake Lively! Lack to serious damage prevents a 10-8 round but total ring generalship by Blake. 10-9 Lively

Round 2: Palicki gets the riot act from Scrubby! “Are you deaf, Addie?!! Don’t follow – cut the damn ring! And get rough wit dis goil!” Bell rings and two bouts continue – Blake Lively v Adrienne Palicki and Scrubby McGee v Jack Daniels! In the ring, Palicki continues to stubbornly follow the left dance of her blonde opponent but now is jabbing with. Both women landing the jab, Lively with greater volume but Palicki the heavier leather. “Da body, take her damn legs!” from the Sceej corner and Palicki slips jab and wrestles Lively into clinch, girls in test of strength, arms wrestling and toes digging into canvas. Palicki able to inexorably back Lively to ropes and land thumping left and right to ribs but elusive Lively spins out and bangs Palicki temple a cuffing left as she does. Odd to now see the taller woman crouching to avoid the blonde jab, looking to get inside and bang body, some messy clinches result. As girls wrestle selves out of clinch at the 20 second mark, Palicki slings right which catches side of Lively jaw and puts a shimmy in her legs. Probably enough to take a sloppy second round. 10-9 Palicki

Round 3 and 4: Lively back to the winning formula, dance left, use younger legs and greater hand speed to win the battle of the jabs, when Palicki looks to end exchanges with overhand right, slip the right and punish the big girl with left hook to the ribs and occasionally doubling it ribs and temple! Lively takes third round and is emboldened … no longer just circling, occasionally standing toe to toe and trading. Palicki bashing left hook to shoulder and right hand into blonde’s guard, Lively peeking out of guard and grinning, shaking head “no” to frustrated big girl, determined to show no fear of what she feels is the overrated hitting power of Palicki. “Chin checker, my ass!” she taunts and when Adrienne comes on, blonde matador slips to her left, re-establishes position and lands left to temple and right to Palicki chin. Tall girl takes an unsteady step back and Lively in for the finish … and walks into a big overhand right! Lively back to ropes, hurt but maintaining guard. Palicki sets up office and for final thirty seconds works Lively on ropes … left to ribs …. right to the ribs .. left to the ribs .. then sneaks the right uppercut to stand blonde up straight. Bell comes none too soon as Lively is in near swoon. Fourth round Palicki big … one judge scores it a 10-8 without knockdown.

Round 5: Jeri Ryan putting the ice on Lively’s neck and the fire in her ear! “Blake – get this clear – do NOT trade with this b*tch! You box, understand? You keep that jab in her face until she thinks it’s a part of her damn nose! Watch for the right lead. If she does, slip it and PUNISH her, understand? Ok? You got this!” Lively out of corner and following script! Winning the battle of the jab, using her legs, being elusive. Not the whitewash of the first round as Palicki is able to score with her own jab but Lively wary of the big rights. Round Lively 10-9 – up 48-47 on two cards, even on the third.

Winner by knockout in the 6th round – Adrienne Palicki.

Post fight: Palicki to Chimera corner to check on Lively, offers conciliatory hand shake to Blake, looks very doubtful that Black even knows who’s hand she is shaking as she is still very much out of it. Icy reception from Chimera corner.