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31 March 2019 Sofia Vergara vs Charlotte McKinney

Page history last edited by caspian2 1 year, 1 month ago


Posted by HBO'S Boxing At The Asylum on Apr 1, 2019 at 8:39am



"Well, it didn't go as well as I hoped LAST March," says Sofia with a smile. "But, this is another day and I've got another opportunity. I WILL take advantage of THIS one!"

"No doubt she has plenty of power," says Charlotte with a nod. "But. She hasn't SEEN power until she's been in with ME."


O'Dell: "Back at ringside and that's 'Loca' by Shakira and Dizzee Rascal..."

Cassie: "Here's the part where Mac tries to figure out who Dizzee Rascal is..."

McCarthy: "I KNOW who DIzzee Rascal IS! He's the guy who sings that song with SHAKIRA!"

O'Dell (sighing): "That tune a favorite of the lady coming to ringside right now, the star of ABC's 'Modern Family', Sofia Vergara!"

McCarthy: "And, when that robe comes off, you'll see what you see everytime J-MAC disrobes..."

Tess: "A big pile of silicone?"

McCarthy: "NO! That age is NOTHIN' but a NUMBER and SHUT UP, WALMART!"

O'Dell: "Sofia into the ring and helped off with the robe by the Chimera corner. And, the crowd DOES like that white bikini she's rocking..."

All I want to eat is cherry licorice

I don't care if it sounds ridiculous

Even the birds and the bees

Eat how they damn well please

O'Dell: "And, that's 'Cherry Licorice' by the Felice Brothers you hear hammering through the arena, and here comes 'Agent 00DDD', Charlotte McKinney!"

Tess: "And, now that Stewart has won the flyweight title, likely insuring that Front Street's flyweight division will remain in existence next year..."

Cassie: "It was NEVER going out of existence, but, go on..."

Tess: "The one MAJOR change that still might happen for the stable's tenth anniversary is the end of the welterweights. So, just about ANY fight involving Utgaard, Perry, Hill, or McKinney this year is going to be a big one."

O'Dell: "Charlotte into the ring and helped off with the robe by Jewel and Neve and the fans LOVING that sky blue bikini we've seen before. Ladies are about ready. Time for some picks. Tess likes Charlotte. Mac?"

McCarthy: "Nothin' but a NUMBER. Sofia!"

O'Dell: "Cassie?"

Cassie: "I agree with Tess!"

O'Dell: "There's the bell. McKinney comes out aggressively, stepping to Sofia and banging away. Brunette going to hammer right back at the blonde. Some hard shot being traded right there and SOFIA LANDS A BIG ONE! That wobbled Charlotte and Vergara's all in early!:


O'Dell: "Vergara pouring on the fire. Charlotte giving ground. She seems to have shaken the worst of it pretty quickly, but she's remaining on the defensive as the brunette goes to town. Sofia wants to end this thing right now, and that would seem to be a pretty good strategy..."

Tess: "No doubt the longer it goes, the better it is for the much-younger McKinney..."

O'Dell: "Final twenty-five seconds of the first. Charlotte keeping the guard high, firing back here and there, but letting the Colombian beauty fight lead. GOOD right from Sofia in that exchange and there's the bell. No doubt about the first stanza. Vergara and wide."

Cassie: "And Sofia's up 10-9."


O'Dell: "Second begins with McKinney setting up at range. It's going to be gun platform stuff now, as blonde and brunette work behind their left jabs, looking to drop in rights, score points and do damage. Good, SHARP exchange there sees both fighters land solid shot..."

Cassie: "Good strategy by Charlotte. Obviously, we know Sofia has power, so, why give her the puncher's chance?"

McCarthy: "McKinney's a typical Dancing Hooker! She's AFRAID to trade with Sofia!"

O'Dell: "ANOTHER good exchange as both blonde and brunette get off solidly. Both fighters staying sound, working their left hands. Good hand and foot movement. Punches getting out quickly and coming back just as quickly. And, there's not a lot in it right now..."

Tess: "McKinney's shown some boxing skills in the past. Seeing more of them now."

O'Dell: "Gets forgotten because everybody talks about the power and physicality, but she can play on these terms and she's doing it now. Down to ten seconds in the first. Good combination by McKinney forces Vergara to cover up and there's the bell. Close to Charlotte. And, we're even at 19."


O'Dell: "Into the third and we're back at range. Both ladies finding a rhythm now, getting their jabs working and then extending on those hard right hands. Again, it's two-way stuff. Charlotte maybe getting the better of it by a hair, but Sofia definitely holding her own."

McCarthy: "And, all it will take is ONE PUNCH from Vergara to change everything..."

O'Dell: "Good combination, Sofia. Landed a solid right hand in there. Charlotte fires back with a one-two and Vergara lands ANOTHER HARD right as a rejoinder and DOWN GOES SOFIA! An absolutely BLISTERING straight right hand from the blonde and the brunette is DOWN..."

Tess: "And, not getting back up, I'll wager..."

O'Dell: "McKinney to a neutral corner. She's not wasting any time, but not exactly hurrying, either. Blonde knows what she's done, and that's DAMAGE. Vergara on her back, eyes closed. Count at three. Four. Five. Six. No movement from the brunette. Eight. Nine. TEN! It's OVER! And your winner by KO3 in LIGHTNING fashion is 'Agent 00DDD', Charlotte McKinney!"

Cassie: "Nothing lucky about THAT punch..."


O'Dell: "Let's go up to the ring and Tess Valmore!"

Tess: "I have our winner, Charlotte McKinney, and, Charlotte, she caught you a good one in the first..."

Charlotte (nodding): "Not just ONE and not just in the first. She can HIT. But, that's what you get at this weight. And, I can HIT, too."

Tess: "Speaking of welterweight, a lot of talk about where Front Street is going with that. What's your take?"

Charlotte (shrugging): "Look welter or JMDD, I'm happy. Wherever they want to use me, I'm good with that. Just get me fights and let me get in there and get physical." 



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