Doutzen Kroes versus Kelly Rohrbach

Story: Caspian, Results: Lookout!

Doutzen:
(34, 5’10, 3:4 FCBA, Lookout! Atlantic Boxing)
Kelly:
(28, 5’9, 125, 17:11 FCBA, VIXENs)

BEFORE:
“What a SHAMEFUL performance Kelly had last,” Doutzen smirking as she shakes her head at the press table. “Did you catch that fight last week when she went down to Courtney Tailor in five rounds? Pathetic. Today, expect that I’ll do the same to poor Kelly, who’ll be kissing my feet at the end of the fifth as well. Just you wait and see.”

“Yeah? You and what army, grandma?” Rohrbach taking the heat and then returning fire immediately. Apparently, Doutzen’s age is a sore point in this exchange, with the big blonde immediately fuming at the other end of the table. “You wanna talk about flukes? Kroes has had seven freakin’ fights in her entire career. SEVEN. I had that many cherry tomatoes for breakfast this morning. She’s the one who’s going down in a blaze of unglory tonight.”

These two are veteran models of the SI scene and more, and curiously, left out of this year’s Sports Illustrated bikini spread. Both are turning the wrong side of 30, so they’ve certainly got something to prove in tonight’s match. They set each other with heavy glares as they come nose-to-nose, the air as tense as Taylor Swift getting her Grammy snatched away by Kayne West whilst on stage.

Later in the arena, the girls’ fight-wear is worthy of an SI spread of its own: Kelly Rohrbach in a baby blue bikini, white gloves, whereas Doutzen is going for a dark violet swimsuit as she dons black leather. HERE we go with ten rounds of Lightweight action!

ROUND 1:
Doutzen with a big girl bullying mentality as she initiates with some lunging hooks to Kelly’s head. Kelly has to be careful in there if she doesn’t want to get blown off her feet in the first thirty seconds. This is the reason why we don’t encourage cross-weight fights, ladies and gents, Doutzen blasting Rohrbach to the guard or the side of her head periodically, those blasts alone wobbling the other blonde on her feet, even though both these girls are technically in the same weight class. Kelly resorting to jabbing tactics as she constantly hounds Kroes to the face and chin, but it’s hard to stop a raging bull who has her sights set on hurting you. Last few seconds and again Rohrbach gets caught by a nasty right hand that cuts into her cheek and sends her stumbling backwards a couple of paces. Doutzen smiling behind her gloves at the bell, and we’d certainly agree that the Lookout starlet’s got plenty to be happy about.

ROUND 2:
Kelly denying her opponent any more of a lead here, however, now actively avoiding the other blonde’s stopping power with her right hand extended straight into Doutzen’s face every time she charges. We’re reminiscent of Ronda Rousey’s rousing defeat at the hands of a certain Holly Holms, who used her excellent boxing skills to prevent the former judo champion from getting in close and body-slamming her to the ground. First half of the fight and Kelly succeeds in that regard, keeping Doutzen’s nostrils flaring with repeated slaps of leather into her facial features. Second half, however, Rohrbach ain’t so lucky, with Kroes catching wind of the situation and starting to use her superior reach advantage to great effect. Kelly wincing as she’s repaid in kind almost immediately, another jab-jab combo landing from afar on her guard and body, as Doutzen sticks her hands into the cookie jar repeatedly. Girls end the round at opposite ends of the ring, breathing hard and taking a break from the stinging pain inflicted on both sides.

ROUND 3:
Kelly’s strategy not working as well here, even as she tries to backtrack and jab. Doutzen doing the same, forward motion and shooting her fists in at long range. Girls score plenty of shots off each other, but Rohrbach beginning to realise that she’s at the disadvantage as Doutzen out-punches and out-hurts her. Middle minute and Kelly eats another two shots to the cheek, gets herself stunned and dazzled. Kroes taking the opportunity to wade in with more punches shocking the blonde’s tummy, just wailing away at her undercarriage even as Rohrbach tries to protect her head with her arms. Kelly with no choice but to clinch up, digging as many shots as she can into Doutzen’s body and sides, then up into the earmuffs, doing whatever damage she can to show that she’s still fighting alive in there. Referee breaks it up and there’s still one minute left on the clock. As expected, Doutzen comes rolling towards her like a freight truck! Kelly timing her shot just right, straight hand sailing forward - Kroes brings her arms up to hide her face, only to groan as she’s doubled over in half - Kelly’s fist disappears into her stomach instead! Kroes immediately folds, stopped in her tracks with her arms hugging at her midsection. Kelly squeezes in a few more tepid jabs to the injured girl’s face before the bell signals the end of this round!

ROUND 4:
Doutzen Kroes pushed back into defensive mode as Kelly rushes at her in order to capitalise. Kroes still a big girl, however, no matter how many times Kelly slaps leather into her arms, body and occasionally the face, doesn’t look ready quite just yet to tip over and die. But being a big girl, she’s also moving a tad more slowly, and Rohrbach finally manages to corner her on the ropes, where the Vixen’s attacks simply pick up speed. Lunging SHOTS sent into Doutzen over and over, tagging and bagging any skin she can find. Doutzen using her own size to an advantage, mid-swing and lunging low and forward to wrap Kelly up in an almost-tenderly embrace. Kelly pulled in unwillingly, using her own body weight to pin Kroes down into the ropes. Her foe’s not going down this round, meaning that Kroes gets away with murder. Kelly still swinging away best she can, awkwardly pushing and shoving at Doutzen’s arms in order to secure a release from the bearhug. Suddenly, Kroes does exactly that, shoving her opponent away with two arms on Kelly’s shoulders. Before Kelly can thank her for her troubles, Doutzen swipes her across the face with a lightning dull hook, and just like that, Rohrbach’s free from her clutches but reeling towards the other side of the ring. Kelly clearly took this round for herself, but it could have been worse for Kroes if she hadn’t instinctively wrapped up.

ROUND 5:
Doutzen looks set to brawl once more, though we can’t imagine how winded she must be feeling after that stunt she pulled last round. Kelly in no hurry to end this either, circling the injured blonde and knocking her head back with some errant jab-jab-jab-jabs to the nostrils. Doutzen’s fists barely raised up high, protecting her body instead when her opponent clearly has her targets switched. A sixth such shot into the lips and Kroes stumbles backwards, punch-drunk but her lips still twisted with malice, as though daring Kelly to come in and finish her off. Kelly hesitating for a moment, before ROARING inwards, blasting on Doutzen’s arms before a stiff uppercut LANDS on the big blonde’s chin, which WHIPS her head back hard! AND DOWN SHE GOES! Doutzen feeling the effects of that one as her eyes flutter in the wind, simply CRUMPLING down to the canvas in a heap! Referee’s count all the way up to 10 is a mere formality! Doutzen’s knocked out silly!

Official Decision: Kelly Rohrbach defeats Doutzen Kroes via KO5!

AFTER:
Rohrbach back in control of her destiny as she puts away a strong challenger in her pathway. She smiles when the decision is made official, trying to meet Doutzen’s eyes at the other corner of the ring in a f*ck-if-I-told-ya-so moment, but Kroes is too busy recuperating and catching her breath, the big bad blonde still dazed badly and in need of medical attention.

“Looks like she’s the one who got knocked out in five rounds, amiright?” Kelly laughing into the cameras later. “And I’ve got a message for Courtney Tailor: you may have beaten me in JMDD, but I’ll be darned if you can pull off the same trick in a normal ring. You and I are due for a rematch real soon, honey!”