Before: Alexis may be Queen of the Ice Hotel and unbeaten on the beach, but she’s the underdog against Adriana, even if she is 15 years younger then her opponent. After all, three of her six losses have been to combo-punching infighters like Lima. Still she’s coming in on a mission: “I watched her beat Brook, I watched all those Fights of the Year that year.* I thought that’s how girls like us were supposed to fight. Then I went straight at Anlella. And she put me down twice in two minutes! I spent a YEAR thinking there was something wrong with me! The trainers showed me how to be smarter than them, to out-hustle them, how to be the fighter I should be! I’m going to take that year out of her dried-up HIDE today! This is when I start to erase her from the FCBA! When I’m done, it’ll be ‘Lima who?’” Ren coming to her feet, ending her tirade with chest heaving.

“I’m sorry it took things so long to come together for her,” Lima says ironically, as her own 0-6 record to start off her career gave no hint of the honors to come. “It must have been dreadful to have a stable and trainers helping you every step of the way, picking you fights instead of taking what was offered…Just terrible. It’s a wonder you’re able to muster the strength to get in the ring with me!”

Personal issues aside, as the only fight between top 10 lightweights, the winner here will go to the front of the line for the August PPV. Throw the formidable beach records of both fighters, and even MEW is probably going to have to wait a bit before her next chance to be Dani to Yvonne’s Britney. Ringposts set directly into the sand. Ren entering first, wearing a gunmetal bikini with mesh connection to give extra cleavage, white gloves. Lima entering in purple & white tie-dye bikini, black gloves. Both fighters with their hair wetted and slicked back, barefoot on the sand.

*{Note: In 2012 all five bouts Lima fought between January and July were nominated for Fight of the Year. Her bouts with Kelly Brook and Jeri Ryan would BOTH win Fight of the Year Honors that year}

R1: Alexis jabbing Adriana’s face; Brazilian swinging back wide, strong roundhouses against Ren’s shoulders&head. Alexis trying to nip in and out, but getting clocked: hard blows to chin and skull back her to ropes: she tries the right uppercut but takes a hard right hand to jaw instead, shaking her up. Ren finishes the round at ropes, face-in-gloves; Lima tuning up that ribcage, bouncing mitts off flanks with authority at bell. Adriana jogging back frisky to her corner. Alexis rattled, staring en route to hers.

R2: Alexis planting on the front foot; then sliding back half a step as Adriana encroaches. Cuffing hook from Ren, then a slick side-step left: New Ice Queen lithe, turning Adriana clockwise midring. Lima bobbing at the waist, coming forward in earmuff: she's getting pre-empted, nibbled, flanked. Midway through, Ren tattoos Adriana a crisp one-two straight up the middle, adding on the hesitation left uppercut to chin: former Queen's knees buckle as new girl makes a statement. Breezy boxing to the finish line: Alexis staying in charge all limber and quick.

R3: More classy, lithe action from Alexis - legs're springy, but never running; elbows in; hands up. Pivoting to her left, turning Adriana like a top: bat-bat left hooks, pesky little backhand jabs knock at Brazilian's pate. Wicked, lathering, sidearm right hands lick at Lima's ribs, Ren heartless as she strokes sturdy brunette chassis. Pressure from Adriana is faded as Alexis seems to have learned how to matador, little slide-backs and steps outs, pivots and feints keeping former champ in check. BREAK: Lima told to "step up the intensity" by her trainer - "this kid's comin' at you hard, mina flore."

R4: Alexis getting bold after two good rounds, crowding in close behind raised guard - working Adriana short uppercuts/cuffing hooks. Lima gobbling it up, answering back; ringing both hands off willowy flanks, chucking a healthy left shoulder into Ren’s breasts to back the youngster up. Second and third minutes largely fought toe to toe at ropes - Ren's back to strands. Lima fighting off Ren's chest, bumpin' and scuffin' for hardworking points.

R5: Alexis still willing to close and work, but she's not pushing in - preferring to get off, slide-step out and walk Adriana into extra. Ren committing to that limber, cuffing hook wide to head&shoulder - then the chopping right hand off the pate or shrugging left uppercut to chin in close. Lima trudging into hurt, ignoring it: she's taking 2 or 3 for the chance to lash one thick body shot into Ren's ribs.

R6: LEFT HOOK LIMA! Adriana just pouring forward, belting Alexis across the chops, chases her to ropes as Ren's momentarily off balance. Alexis covering up, taking a beating about her flanks and arms as Adriana swarms, but calm in the pocket, dipping side to side, firing short right uppercuts from the high guard. Oh those body shots: Ren groaning from Lima's swiping left to gut, Adriana squaring away as Alexis covers up, using her left to push at pate, measuring her for whip-strapping rights and lefts to waist/flanks, cleaning up a cuffing left hook on the ear. Two minutes of punishment, Ren getting her hips and back into a slinging power shot, PUTS LIMA ON HER HANDS AND KNEES! Alexis sashaying to neutral corner...she's playing to the crowd when ADRIANA BEATS THE COUNT! Lima swaying in the wind: Ren making mocking faces shouting taunts across the sand.

R7: Adriana charging out of the corner, jabbing Ren's face; pivoting right; hooking breasts. Alexis stumbles backward on her heels, hitting ropes in disarray. Adriana laying in strapping whacks across the waist; reaching under Ren's arms to stack 'er up; pushing off to get back on that tummy again. LASHING stuff from Lima: head in under Ren’s chin; shoulders always bumping and jostling, setting her up for digging work between the hips. Alexis sitting in ropes, catching bump-n'-slug - she's a cranky beauty trying to reach behind Adriana's elbows and hold for breaks. Sporadic dip-n'-rip uppercuts and hooks from Ren off the ropes: she's pretty much pressed to cables and worked over as Lima won't let her breathe.

R8: Alexis able to fade the pressure; licks a whippy hook off her hip with weight on her back leg, stroked hard upside her jaw staggers to her left in wonder. Ren pouncing in with body jab, then bopping away while swatting another hook. Alexis showing that limber, ballistic form to claw back the initiative. Adriana tries to slug midring, but Ren punches-with, neatly beating her Brazilian to a right on the mouth and a left on the ear as Lima's punches miss. Alexis dips low, pivots-left - coming up behind Adriana’s right flank: she turns, eats a stubby straight right hand on the right side of her face. Ren bends in and down from the waist, swinging a slingshot right over the top. CRASHING blast bashes off Lima's face as she's shoving out an ill-considered right uppercut: she sags dreamy to the sand, climbing the ropes at 9.

Alexis bending in and down again, pulling a looping right hand over the top: Adriana’s head pitching violently over top rope, then lolling gently forward as she's out on her feet. Lima heading down, but Ren reaches under arms to bundle her up: SHE'S HEAPING ON EXTRA! Alexis snarling as she stacks and sorts stunned Adriana for extra punishment. Lima's head lolling forward, hands at her tummy - she's a helpless vixen just being senselessly worked over here. STOP THE FIGHT REF! Adriana's head swivelling, conquered breasts just lying there as Ren's fists pancake away on wobbling top - official WAY late moving in as Alexis keeps supporting Adriana to delay the inevitable. TKO8 and a probable title shot for Alexis Ren!

After: Adriana lowered gently to the sand, medical staff giving her a long look. Alexis is circuiting the ring, pulling off her gloves and tossing them into the crowd, taped fists pumping, whooping & hollering incoherently. Medics calling for a board, REN”S CALLING FOR THE BODY SADDLE! Alexis wants her tribute and doesn’t care what it costs! She’s standing by the ropes, arguing with the refs kicking sand onto Adriana’s face, BUT LOOK OUT BEHIND YOU!

Courtney Tailor’s seen enough, crosses the guardrail, pads across the sand and locks in the sleeper hold over the strands from behind! Eight rounds in the sun with Lima isn’t gonna leave anybody at 100%, throw in the element of surprise and Alexis Ren is slipping to the sand in a slumber before you know it! Network exec tosses in Swan Lake just after the O&E and Vixens benches clear, two walls of bikinied flesh on a collision course!

PHONE FOOTAGE FROM POST-FIGHT

Phone Footage from Adriana Lima vs. Alexis Ren Match (AFTERMATH)

Compiled phone footage from the event that took place last week, the aftermath of the Adriana Lima vs Alexis Ren match filling in the gaps when the network broadcasting the match suddenly cut its own feed. Not sure why that happened though - could be technical, could it intentional - both the Vixens and Odds and Ends girls were already on edge in their respective corners. All it took was a vengeful spark from Ren post-match that ignited the rest of their comrades into action.

Camera is shaky and blurry as hell, and the roar of the crowd drowns out most of everything else. Flood lights continue to beam from above - Lima still flat on her back on the ground, Ren parading around her, throwing insults as she catches her breath. Ren’s moment in the spotlight cut short, however, when she’s tackled from behind by Courtney Tailor. Suddenly, there’s blonde on blonde violence as an energetic Tailor wraps her arms around Ren’s neck, cupping the top of her head with her other hand as she drags the struggling Vixen down to the ground. Ren shrieking and thrashing in the Sleeper Hold, but her voice overpowered by the rising roar of the crowd, who are just further dizzied at the prospect of more action in the ring.

Tailor subduing Ren easily, her larger, fresher frame enveloping Ren’s spent and lanky one, legs wrapped around her lower torso as she stretches her out whilst cutting off her air supply, all the while whispering sweet nothings into the top of her head.

Another general shout from the audience as they spot flashes of movement from either side of the ring - big girl Tahnee Atkinson and Olivia Holt dashing across the sand just in case they need to provide brawling support. At the other end of the ring, Lily Collins bravely sliding under the ropes then making a beeline for Olivia Holt… BLAM as Collins throws herself into the Odds and Ends crowd like a bowling ball hitting the pins, but her true target was always Holt, shoulder smashing into Holt’s midsection like a heat-seeking missile seeking the next target holding the AMD title! Holt letting out a silent scream as she tumbles backwards into the corner, kicking and slapping at Collins on top of her. Lily wasting no time and starts raining blows on Holt, who’s straddled below.





Tahnee, however, recovering quickly, already on her feet and grabbing at Collins’ shoulder and hair to pry her off Olivia, then enact payback on the small Flyweight girl in unison. She’s about to put Collins in a Sleep Hold of her own from behind when she’s tackled from the side by none other than the Vixen alpha lioness herself, Hannah Ferguson!





Hooboy! Another rematch in the making as these two bitter rivals CRASH into each other, Tahnee getting speared and sinking down onto her side, before both Welterweights get up to their knees and POUNCE forward without a moment’s hesitation, the mere sight of each other’s face more than enough to spur them into redemptive action. There’s a long history of mutual abuse between these two, and it f*cking shows. Hail of slaps to the face and hair tugged roughly in all directions as the two alpha girls cancel each other out.  Meanwhile, Olivia and Lily back on their feet, left hands stiff on each other's shoulders, trading full-fisted gut shots! 

Good lord - this is quickly turning into an impromptu stable war! At the other end of the ring, Courtney Tailor getting pulled up by the hair by an enraged Georgia Mae Gibbs - also some history between these two blondes. Not Gibbs’ intention to rescue poor Ren, but Tailor distracted by the sharp pain shrieking through her head, releasing Ren as a result, and the Vixen’s lifeless form rolling out of Courtney’s clutches and remaining prone on the sand for the remainder of this wild melee. Courtney quickly retaliating with a sharp fist sent into Georgia’s midsection, bowling her over. Gibbs in reply slapping her across the face, then receives a forward tackle as Tailor bulldozes her way forward, not liking the fact that her fun got interrupted halfway.





Ring officials FINALLY flooding the ring in droves, taking at least twice the number of men to pull two hellcats apart. The members of both stables are eventually separated, girls pushed and shoved to corners, then out of the ring, one side herded backstage by a wall of officials, breaking line of sight to defuse the situation slightly. Still, it’s hard to ignore those bruises and hard knocks all over the girls’ bodies, everyone agreeing that this explosive scrap is definitely a prelude to a potential stable war in the future.P