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23 September 2019 Meghan Markle vs Angelina Jolie

Page history last edited by Vassago 1 year, 2 months ago

 

LA COUGARS AFTER DARK

 

Posted by Vassago on September 23, 2019, 9:33 pm

 

 

LA Cougars After Dark
Meghan Markle vs Angelina Jolie
(11-10, 10 KO vs 14-21, 8 KO)
Results: Lookout!; Story: Vassago


BEFORE: We're in Galen Center on the USC campus where two Los Angeles natives battle it out for elite bragging rights tonight. Forget the rankings and immediate silverware profit, it's about making a statement as Meghan Markle has grown into a worldwide icon status ever since becoming a member of the House of Windsor whereas Angelina Jolie is just elite everywhere she goes - maybe except her boxing record.

Markle vows not only to claim the SoCal rights but also send Jolie on her cougar division way: "Hey, it feels like Angie hasn't beaten anyone not named Winona Ryder so this looks pathetic. It's a miracle she hasn't announced her retirement yet and it's really time someone dropped her in the dumpster. She's like a cougar without the claws so this one could end very quickly indeed!"

"Lord, Meghan has totally lost it!", Angelina refuses to accept she's done and claims IF she goes out, she will go out on top, "Yeah, I can't just retire like that! Look at Kate frickin' Beckinsale who found a new home with these Vixens and she's still going! If Kate is still game, I am game too! No TV witch who married into free publicity has the right to call me out like that! Meghan's ego is the size of Pacific Ocean so she needs a reality check tonight! Bring it on, bytch!"

Meghan Markle wears a black push-up tankini and red gloves. Long dark brown hair tied in a sleek ponytail. Angelina Jolie wears a red crop top, black hotpants & white gloves. Long dark brown hair tied in a curled ponytail. The fight is scheduled for ten rounds in the bantamweight division.

Round 1:
Maybe Angelina's on the wrong side of forty but she's still looking feisty when she delivers the initial jabbing blast to send Meghan into deep cover. The younger actress refuses to engage in a classic slugging drill but leaks too many punches which give Jolie enoigh confidence to pile more pressure up the middle. She outworks the subdued rival in a close range dispute beating Meghan with overhand pounce that rocks the head back and makes Markle look even more sluggish down the stretch. Maybe Meghan has enjoyed the royal family life too much as she's unable to match Angelina's jabbing and has to yield real estate while the older brunette hassles her with more jabs amid a wild ovation from the audience. Jolie traps the reeling foe on the ropes and slams a left hook on the lips before she splits Meghan's high guard outright and keeps her pinned behind a high earmuff for remainder of the round.

Round 2:
Angelina thrives on that opening round action and wants to slug Meghan with more head shots but the younger actress finds her rhythm when she nails Jolie on the left eye with a seemingly wayward hook. Ugh! Angelina wobbles to her heels at first but still wants to bury Markle behind the aerial attack only to find the other woman bursting into her chest and punishing the exposed midsection afterwards. Time to buckle up but Angelina can't quite embrace the body assault before she eats a quick uppercut on the jaw and drops into mid-range while Markle flies in with the brutal cross hook on the nose. Meghan slowly bumps Angelina into the ropes as the older brunette can't fight the response off the back foot and has to clinch the charging opponent who still digs several crisp shots to the body shutting Jolie down in the process.

Round 3:
Both veterans are happy to slug it out as the crowd noise increases immediately when Angelina smacks Meghan on the lips with the initial jabbing burst and keeps dropping shots up the middle to glue the younger brunette to the spot. So much for taking it easy as Jolie barks in her efforts to slice the high guard but has to suffer from a proper midsection response as Markle also tries to step up into that punch. Ugh! Both women clash heads while trying to enforce their presence yet it's Angelina who recovers first and whacks Meghan up the chimey before tracking her down along the ropes. Meghan gets stuck on her heels and simply can't connect upstairs anymore as Jolie keeps blasting her on the lips which develop a visible swelling come the bell. Markle slumps into quiet spasms but Angelina runs out of time to inflict more damage and appears to be a little upset when the ref tells her to go back into her corner.

Round 4:
Angelina feels like she can dominate the sketchy opponent but can't connect with the big punch upstairs as Meghan shows improved footwork and stays clear of danger. However Jolie wants to blast her regardless and leaps forward with more head-hunting juice until she finds the response... Ugh! Markle NAILS her on the nose and sends spinning to the side with a whimper. Talk about feeling that hit and Angelina can't raise her mitts in time before Meghan slams another cross hook on the nose that wobbles the older brunette into more spasms. Angelina tries to swing back but she's way off balance and Meghan delivers the overhand on target that renders Jolie all vulnerable.. Another left/right combo hits her on the nose and folds forward into a brutal uppercut on the jaw... DOWN GOES JOLIE!!! The Hollywood mega star veteran drops to her knees and bends her head against the canvas as Meghan struts back to the neutral corner and licks her lips in clear anticipation of the ineviteable outcome. Angelina raises her head but remains on all fours during the count and that's what you get if you're on the wrong side of forty! KO4 Meghan Markle!!!

AFTER: "Told ya, she's going into the cougar retirement home! Just not good enough anymore!", Meghan dismisses Angelina's efforts and gloats over the kneeling woman as the crowd begins to chant her name. Talk about some fair weather fans here in LA as Jolie kinda enjoyed the bigger cheers until she hit the deck to rise no more. "This f#### sucks! I had the posh s### beat!", Angelina shoves her ref away and appears to be even more upset when she finally gets up some twenty seconds after the fight is called. She avoids eye contact with the beaming Markle who tries to eyeball her regardless but then walks back to her corner and has her gloves removed: "I don't need this TMZ drama anymore! I'm like... oh, well... everyone knows it! I'm sooo above Angelina and her movie career. And I've busted her nose now. I'm just on another level, both inside the ring and out!"

Official Result: Meghan Markle def. Angelina Jolie KO4.

 

 

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