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30 September 2019 Live Streaming Of Post-Fight Press Conference

Page history last edited by caspian2 4 years, 2 months ago

Blonde Ambition At The Asylum II: Electric Boogaloo

Posted by Boxing World Online by Oct 1 2019 at 2:16am

The Man In The Hat sits, as usual, at the center of the dais. To his left are Jane Levy, Jennette McCurdy, Kat Dennings, Britney Spears, Neve Campbell, Pink, Grace Park, and Alison Brie. To his right sit Gemma Arterton, Serinda Swan, Antje Utgaard, Jewel, Mariska Hargitay, Leelee Sobieski, Kesha, and Emily Osment.

Man In The Hat: "OK. As usual, before we get to questions, there are some people I want to thank. Let's start with each and every one of our indy fighters, who are the backbone of Asylum. Without them, what we do every month wouldn't happen. And, of course, we can't forget the FCBA Commission for sanctioning these fights and making Asylum possible. Now. Questions. Cable Boy. Go!"

HBO Reporter: "I want to start with your flyweights. Nice win for Jane, but, obviously, a disappointment for Jennette. How do those results affect the Tenth Anniversary roster?"

Man In The Hat: "Look, we don't make decisions in haste around here. And, we don't make decisions based on one data point. What we'll do is look at video, as we always do. We'll see things to like and things not to like. We'll build on the former and work on the latter. And, we'll make decisions based on a BODY of work, all the analytics and the eye tests, all the data we have, not just one fight..."

HBO Reporter: "Speaking of analytics, Belichick says he makes 'less than zero' use of those..."

Man In The Hat: "Belichick is smart enough to do that. The rest of us need all the data we can get. Cable Boy II. Go!"

Showtime Reporter: "I want to talk about Kat. She's one of the girls who's clinched a roster spot, and she looked good tonight..."

Man In The Hat: "She did and she almost always does. Kat's an elite bantam, no question about that. I'd feel confident putting her up against anyone in the division. That's why she's clinched a spot. Tess, dear, go ahead."

Tess: "Both of your lightweights got results tonight, but only Gemma's guaranteed a roster spot..."

Man In The Hat (nodding): "We have a lot of talent at light, and have for some time. Gems is a former champion and is, no doubt, an elite lightweight. Got in tough tonight, got in some trouble, showed you why she's a champion. Swanny just wins fights for us. That's all she does. And, there's nothing wrong with that. Smackeroo. Dinner time. Take us there!"

Reporter: "Antje showed a lot of stuff tonight, I thought..."

Man In The Hat: "Ms. Utgaard has, as I've said before, the best physicals in the entire FCBA. Here's a girl who's six feet tall, 150 pounds, hits like a truck, and she's so athletic and flexible that, as I've said before, she can bend over backward, grab her ankles, and roll into a ball. This is a special kind of athlete. And, she can be VERY, very difficult to deal with in the ring. We'd like to see a lot more of what we saw tonight from Antje. Now. Dinner time. Tess! Smackey! Limo!"