Charlize Theron vs. Renee Zellweger (Cougar) 

(Words: Front Street / Results: Lookout!)

BEFORE:

Golden Goddess Cougar Tour pulls, figuratively, into Katy, Texas, for a bout against Renee Zellweger, whose FCBA career has been...interesting to this point. Zellweger debuted a couple of months before her 30th birthday, losing to fellow blonde Courtney Thorne-Smith. The 5'4" Renee then spent two years out of FCBA rings before returning for bouts against a pair of WELTERWEIGHTS, beating Liv Tyler and losing to Gena Lee Nolin. After that? Nothing. For more than 13 years. Before reappearing in 2015 to beat Missy Hyatt. Since? Again. Nothing. But, that lack of activity hasn't led to a lack of confidence. "Yeah," says Renee with a nod. "She's bigger than me. But, I've fought bigger, harder-hitting girls. I can hang with her. Sure. I'm the underdog. But. Stranger things have happened."

"That's where Renee is wrong," says the Goddess with a smile. "Nothing stranger has EVER happened, nor is it going to happen tonight."

ROUND ONE:

Renee not messing around with trying to box Theron. Which is probably a good strategy. Instead, she's got the hands up and she's working forward, crowding the taller woman, working body, landing hooks to the head. Charlize tying up, trying to force breaks, but Renee's clearly been training for this. She's levering with the shoulder, opening up Theron's frame for short punches to the midsection and ribs. Charlize definitely feeling them as the round goes on. She's not hurt, but she certainly doesn't want to fight on these terms all night. Zellweger has her off balance and out of sorts. Late in the round, Theron lands a nice short right hook that gets the shorter woman's attention, but it doesn't slow her down. Instead, she bangs away to the bell, taking the first wide and going up 10-9.

ROUND TWO:

Theron trying to get some space. Looking to work the jab, slow Renee with it. And, it works. Some. She's able to keep Zellweger at bay at times, and, when she can, follow up with hard right hands. At other times, though, Zellweger works past the jab and gets back to work inside. And, when she does that, she's in control just like in the first round. That's how it goes in the second. Periods of Charlize boxing and looking very good doing it, and other periods of Renee digging, banging leather into every legal inch of Theron's body. Late round sees another critical punch, this one from Zellweger, and it lands in Theron's rack. Renee follows with more work to the bust line, clearly ticking off the GOAT, who bangs back, landing a good short left hook to the head right at the bell. Round ends up close, but Theron takes the points to even things at 19.

ROUND THREE:

Renee again looking to work forward and bang, but she's gotten Charlize's attention now. GOAT moving the feet, giving ground, SNAPPING that long jab into her rival's face. Zellweger being caught and stopped, then PUNISHED by hard right hands from the taller woman. Theron stepping forward in spots to back up Renee with solid combinations. CT is locked in, and that's a frightening sight for whomever is in the ring with her, even in 2020. By the second minute, Renee's clearly trying to ride out the storm. She's being backed up as Theron lets the leather fly. She's keeping the guard high, playing defense, countering in spo...BOOM! Straight right from Charlize splits the gloves and DOWN GOES ZELLWEGER! Renee crashes to her back and the GOAT strides to a neutral corner to watch and wait. Ref's count, though, is a mere formality. Zellweger is down and OUT, never moving at all as the count passes her by. It's OVER! And your winner by KO3 is The Golden Goddess!

AFTER:

CT still a little miffed in the post-fight. "I GET that she's out there trying to pull a miracle and all that, but, she didn't need to pull THAT stuff. Try and take those LIBERTIES with me and, well. You SAW what happened."