YVONNE STRAHOVSKI VS MARY ELIZABETH WINSTEAD

Results: Lookout Writing: Archer

Yvonne: 37 YO, 5’8 (1.76 m), 64-30-0, 40 KO since 2008, Lookout Boxing

Mary: 35 YO, 5’8 (1,73 m), 55-45-0, 49 KO since 2007, Foxfire Boxing

BODY PAINT BOXING ON THE BEACH

Before: The FCBA’s most noted “frenemies” Mary Elizabeth Winstead and Yvonne Strahovski have long had a rollercoaster relationship through 12 official bouts (to date). Sometimes good friends, sometimes angry enemies, but they somehow always find their way back together. Most recently, Yvonne seemed to be upset about Mary’s attention to Kendall Jenner as a favored opponent. This led to big row following the Christmas PPV “Santa-Kini” bout between Mary and Kendall.

“It was a real mess,” Mary says, “and I knew I had to do something to show Vonnie she is still my BFF. So I arranged for this Body Paint Bout at this great Caribbean resort. I am hoping this will calm her down. I mean, Kendall’s a lot of fun, but there is only one Yvonne for me. Besides I lead her 7-5 in after a dozen fights since 2008. I am always ready to add to my win total.”

“I admit I was irked by Mary ignoring me in favor of that pushy Kendall Jenner. I don’t think it was an accident! She knows how to push my buttons and then she acts surprised when I react like I did at Christmas. I would have settled for an apology, but I have to admit I like all the trouble she went to for this fight. Body painted “swimsuits” are pretty sexy and that ring set up near the beach is great. I still want to show everyone that despite of being 5-7 against her, I am still a better boxer! I intend to narrow her 7- 5 lead with a win in this fight. Of course, my eventual goal is to take the lead!” Yvonne says.

Back over to Mary who smiles and announces: “I am making a special offer to Yvonne for the winner of this fight.”

“Special offer?” Yvonne asks frowning in suspicion.

“Now, some of you may recall a while back, Yvonne and I made a side agreement on one of our fights: The Winner would wear a sexy French maid’s costume and serve as maid for a period of time and, of course, I won. Yvonne, you were the best French maid anyone ever had, but I could tell you were grumpy about it.”

“You don’t say,” Yvonne said drily.

“I am offering you the opportunity to get ME as your sexy French maid for the rest of the week here at this resort,” Mary said sweetly. “All you have to do is win the fight.”

“And if YOU win?”

“Well, naturally, you become my maid for the period. I think that would be very fair,” Mary said earnestly.

Yvonne thought it over: “OK, Winnie, the thought you in a sexy outfit is too good a motivator to pass up. You have a deal.”

Mary and Yvonne shake hands. Mary then signals to someone who backstage and a fetching model comes out to show off the outfit. Yvonne looks impressed.

“I can’t wait to see you in that,” Yvonne told Mary licking her lips.

“I knew you would see it that way,” Mary said with a sly smile. “but I will be the one whose naughty dream comes true….”

The fight itself is piped into the FCBA Arena for tonight’s card. Mary appears in a body paint copy of her favorite red with white polka dots retro one-piece. Her hair is loose but wetted. Her gloves are light blue. Yvonne’s got a light purple one piece painted on. She wears her hair in a pigtail and wears yellow gloves with black laces.

The ring is near the shore which provides a nice background of gently lapping waves. There are spectators, lucky raffle winners from the big resort which is hosting the proceedings. They are in padded bleachers arranged on the landward of the ring.

Mary and Yvonne enter the ring. Mary is here with FCBA Lightweight trainer Rachel Nichols. Yvonne is here with Lookout Lightweight Trainer Nicole Kidman. Ring instructions are given with no problems and all seems very professional. MEW and Yvonne tap gloves and go to their corners. (Those who have seen previous Winstead/Strahovski bouts can only think: “This is lull before the storm.”) The timekeeper (seated at a table under a canopy) rings the bell. The storm breaks…

R1: Yvonne across the sand into Mary’s gut with a series of pumping hooks that driven Mary up on her toes. Yvonne trying to muscle Mary into the ropes, Mary fighting back with jabs to Yvonne’s head which manages to force Vonnie to back up. Mary then tries to come at Yvonne, but gets clocked with a sweeping right to the jaw that sends Mary spinning away. Yvonne now able to push Mary into the ropes, but Mary grabs her in a bearhug. They struggle in the sand until the referee separates them. Mary and Yonne glaring at each other and then Vonnie goes to the belly with a lightning hook. Mary reeling back into the ropes and Yvonne on her pounding away. Mary trying to push Yvonne back. Referee restores order. Action resumes and Yvonne drives Mary back to ropes once more, but time runs out on the round. Mary looks indignant as she pushes Yvonne away and stalks across the sand to her corner. Yvonne just shrugs and heads for her own corner. Yvonne Strahovski wins round wide.

R2: Yvonne again quick out of her corner for this round, but Mary was even quicker and she caught Yvonne with a driving right to the chin. Yvonne was thrown back into the ropes and Mary tried to pin her there with her punches. Yvonne fought back with desperate jabs into Mary’s face that knocked Mary back. Then Yvonne surged forward and hammered at Mary to the midsection. Mary was bent forward but she fought back with another right to Vonnie’s chin. Yvonne was staggered and now Mary attacked trying for blows to the head. Yvonne ducked under and popped Mary with a hook to the belly. Mary lashed back with a right to the side of the head and then left to the head, Yvonne stumbled back and Mary was on her with a barrage of body punches. Yvonne jabbed back and managed to drive Mary back, but Mary circled around and charged in again with fresh body punches. Yvonne retreated and tried to stay off the ropes. Mary wanted to get Yvonne on the ropes, but time ran out on her. The result was a close round, but the judges gave it to MEW’s side of their cards.

R3: Yvonne seemed sluggish coming out for the new round and Mary was quick to take advantage. MEW circled around Vonnie, bobbing up and down as she fired punch after punch at Yvonne’s head in an obvious effort to keep the blonde’s brain foggy. Yvonne struggled to push Mary back with jabs to the juggs, but these did not seem to slow the brunette down. Mary was now working Yvonne’s breasts as well as her midsection as Yvonne had her guard up higher around her head. Mary then worked Yvonne back towards the ropes, but Yvonne kept moving along the ropes to avoid being cornered. They ended up fighting all along the perimeter of the ring with Mary out-punching Yvonne, but not able to land a knockdown punch before the bell rang. Mary looked annoyed at Yvonne still standing and Yvonne added to her annoyance with a defiant grin. The referee felt obliged to step in and make sure the fighters went to their corners without further incident. Meanwhile, the judges were giving the round to Mary by a wide margin.

R4: Yvonne comes out fighting as soon as the timekeeper sounds the bell. She heads right for Mary and starts slamming leather into the brunette’s belly. Mary is sent stumbling back, but quickly rights herself and comes at Yvonne. Now Winnie pounds Vonnie to the belly and drives her back several steps. Yvonne rallies and goes after Mary to the breasts. Mary responds with jugg bruising punches of her own to the blonde’s rack. They circle around on the sand, slamming more and more punches into each other’s sweaty bodies. Then Mary digs in her feet and tries to punch Yvonne back, but Vonnie digs her feet in and suddenly rams a right into Mary’s chin. Mary’s head is knocked back and her knees buckle. Yvonne bangs home rights and lefts to Mary’s head as Mary scrambles out of the way. Yvonne gives chase and Mary sets up behind her jab. They get into a fast-firing exchange of belly punches that has both of them grunting from the impacts right down to the bell. They step back and glare at each other, then march to their corners. Exciting, intense round is a close one but Yvonne emerges as the winner.

R5: Yvonne and Mary come out for the new round and slide around each other at mid-ring. Then Yvonne makes a move towards Mary’s midsection but as Mary’s attention is diverted, she clips the brunette to the jaw. Mary goes lurching to one side. Yvonne moves with the stunned Mary and then attacks with quick punches to face and body. Mary badly banged up to the face and doubled up from belly hooks. Yvonne now working Mary into the ropes. Mary trying to counter to break up the offensive, but Yvonne lands a left/right combo to the jaw and Mary falls back against the ropes. Yvonne hops in and pounds at Mary’s vulnerable torso before Mary can huddle up. Mary digging her feet into the stand to brace herself against the ropes as she struggles to stay up under Yvonne’s relentless leather storm. Bell sounds and Mary slides down into a sitting position on the sand. Yvonne looks down with satisfaction and then trots to her corner. Mary looks irked at this and struggles to her feet using the ropes, then sets off for her corner. No surprise this round: Yvonne Strahovski wins it wide.

R6: Mary is worked on by the Foxfire corner crew and she comes out with a lot of facial bruises and swellings, but moving with determination at Yvonne. Yvonne looks determined to resume her domination of Mary, but Winnie brings a cracking left into Vonnie’s chin. Vonnie recoils and Mary goes after her with rights and lefts crashing into the blonde’s head. Yvonne struggling to pull herself together, but Mary is firing high and low into Vonnie who can’t cope with the deluge. Then Mary lands one big right hand to the side of the head AND DOWN GOES YVONNE! Yvonne falls to all fours and then collapses onto her face in the sand. Mary scampers to the neutral corner. Yvonne struggling to rise as the referee counts nearby and does manage to totter to her feet at “NINE!” Yvonne’s fans cheer, while Mary’s groan in disappointment. Mary just shrugs and waits to be waved back in. The referee does wave Mary back in, but Yvonne gone full-defense to get through the rest of the round. Vonnie all face-in-gloves and the best Mary can do is work the blonde’s flanks which she does until the bell rings. Mary looks on with a smile as an ashen-faced Yvonne turns away and trudges to her corner. Knockdown assures MEW that she has won this round by a wide margin.

R7: Not surprisingly MEW is out to finish Yvonne off as the new round gets started. She is out of her corner quickly and moves on Yvonne who is slower leaving her corner. Mary goes for the head with her first punches, but Yvonne gets her guard up high and manages to block these efforts at a quick knockdown. Mary then goes down to the body. She gives Yvonne’s torso a thorough scrubbing as lefts and rights rip into breasts, abs, and ribs. Yvonne hunched up under this attack and Mary moved in looking for opening. It was then that Yvonne erupted with fast shots into Mary’s breasts and then up into her chin. Mary was sent stumbling back, but then lashed back as Yvonne threw herself forward. They slammed together and struggled in a clinch until the referee pushed them apart. Just as quickly their gloves slammed into each other to the jaw. These blows seem to stagger them both but Mary seemed to recover first and came back at Yvonne, trying for her head. Yvonne blocked Mary’s incoming right, but Mary’s left caught Yvonne in the jaw and staggered her. Mary tried to follow up, but Yvonne caught her in the right eye with a desperate right jab. Mary was sent stumbling back, but Yvonne was slow to pursue and Mary got her own jab up just as Vonnie reached her. They traded jabs to the bell. It was another hard fought round, but Winnie Winstead edged out the win.

R8: Mary and Yvonne both looked eager as they sat on their stools and came off them fast at the bell. Mary was moving to try to strike at Yvonne from the side, but Yvonne was swinging away and Mary had to charge in. Mary had her right pulled back and had just launched it when Yvonne suddenly shot forward, Mary’s right whistled by Vonnie’s ear and Vonnie drove her own right into the point of Mary’s chin. Mary went stumbling back rapidly on trembling legs with her gloves up around her head. Yvonne now went to work on Mary’s body with a vengeful methodical approach that kept Mary in retreat until her butt hit the ropes. Mary had to huddle there as Yvonne just hammered away. She was pounding down onto Mary’s head clearly trying to get her down onto the sand, but somehow Mary was kept up by her legs and the rope she was now seated. Yvonne just kept punching as Mary shuddered and trembled, but would not give in to the effort to bring her down. Finally the bell sounded. Yvonne stepped back and drew her right forearm across her sweating brow while looking at Mary still hanging there with a blasted expression on her face. Yvonne then turned away. She had won the round in a shutout and Mary Winstead slowly shuffled across the sand to reach her corner.,

R9: There seemed to be some debate going on in the Foxfire corner. It looked like Rachel Nichols was urging Mary not to continue, but MEW is heard to snarl: “I have never quit in a fight and I’m not going to start with one against Yvonne. I’m going out there.”

Brave words, but when the bell did ring, Mary was slow coming out, with her gloves up around her head and only sheer determination keeping her legs moving. If Yvonne Strahovski noticed these signs of weakness, she reacted by coldly moving in and driving hooks into Mary’s midsection to loosen up the brunette’s guard. Then as Mary’s defense weakened, Yvonne thrust rights and lefts into her jaw and Mary seemed to freeze. Yvonne then drilled a right and then a left into Mary’s face between her eyes. Mary started to crumbled backwards, but Yvonne had dropped her right down to her ankles and now brought it up crashing into Mary;s chin like an express train! Mary was ripped off her feet and arced backwards to then slam hard in the sand and lie there with only her chest moving. Yvonne looked pleased and went to the neutral corner. The referee moved in and started to count. To the surprise of many, Mary began to stir and hope came to her fans. Mary moved herself into a sitting position and then tried to move to her knees, but suddenly she shuddered and toppled onto her side and curled up.

“NINE!...TEN!...YOU’RE OUT!” The referee cried and the crowd cheered.

THE WINNER YVONNE STRAHOVSKI DEFEATED MARY ELIZABETH WINSTEAD KO9!

After: Yvonne quickly went over and kneeled next to the fallen Mary and raised her upper body. Mary’s eyes fluttered open.

“How you doing?” Yvonne asked as she cradled Mary in her arms.

“Not so good. You beat me Vonnie. It was one great fight though,” Mary said woozily.

“Our fights are always great, that’s why I want them so much, but, girl, you got to learn when to go down. I don’t want to be one to end your fight career,” Yvonne chided.

“Don’t flatter yourself. I am nowhere near the end of my career. I could lose a little rest though after this one,” Mary admitted.

“You’ll get it and when you feel better I expect you to report for duty as my new sexy French maid fully ready to make my bed, lay my clothes and serve my meals on time.”

“Give me a day and I’ll be there,” Mary assured her. “Say, how about you carry me back to the dressing room, it will make for a great photo.”

“Yes it would,” Yvonne agreed. Rachel Nichols was now there and the two of them hoisted Mary to her feet and then slung Mary over Yvonne’s shoulders in a fireman’s carry.

“All this reminds me that we need to do some wrestling once we both get to feeling 100%,” Mary said.

Yvonne chuckled: “I am glad you mentioned that. I do love squeezing an ‘I quit’ out of you.”

“That’s it: rub it in, but I am getting better, you Australian bully, I’ll take you down yet!” Mary replied cheerfully, but then they passed out of earshot bystanders who were left wonder just has been going on with Mary and Yvonne’s wrestling matches….

Many photos of Mary slung over Yvonne’s shoulders were snapped and appeared on social media as the latest chapter in the “Winnie and Vonnie” boxing saga hit the internet. Foxfire, Lookout and the FCBA could not have been happier.

Another rousing battle between Mary and Yvonne. It was back and forth across the sand. Mary able to get Yvonne down in the 6th, but 2 rounds later Yvonne came back to batter Mary in a shutout round. The always tough Winstead wouldn’t quit and came out to be finished off in R9, preferring to be carried out her shield (or rather Strahovski’s shoulders) than throw in the towel. Great win for Yvonne who cuts Mary’s series lead to 7-6 and we suspect the war between these two will continue as the year progresses. All FCBA fans should take heart at this prospect!