2. Lily Collins vs Miranda Cosgrove

Lily:
(29, 5’5, 112, 28:10 FCBA, VIXENs)

Miranda:
(27, 5’6, 0:9 FCBA, Free Agent)

BEFORE:
“It says a lot if Collins wants to fight me,” Miranda smiles from her place at the press table. “It’s true that I’ve never won a fight before, but that simply makes my victory all the sweeter tonight. I’ve got nothing to lose, whereas Collins is about to continue her descent with all those losses pilling up.”

“Hmph. Some people just don’t belong in the ring,” Collins snarks back almost immediately, her arms folded across her chest as she leans forward into the microphone, her eyelids fluttering. “Cosgrove has got nothing to lose cos’ she doesn’t have any achievements to start with. I make no excuses about my choice of opponents. What matters is me beating their faces in, like I’m gonna do to Ana when we meet again. But first, Cosgrove’s gonna be target practice.”

Ladies square off in the middle of the stage, Miranda in a low-cut white blouse and showing off a black sports bra beneath, and red stretch-briefs for bottoms. She puts her fists a little too close to Lily’s face for comfort, and Collins, easily offended, snaps and slaps her hands away. The two girls almost get into a melee right there if not for the attentive ring officials who were standing by to intervene.

Later, Collins strides down the ramp, small waves to the crowd as she ties her brown hair into a neat ponytail. The Vixen’s wearing a black sports bra and white bikini briefs. Later, she dons a pair of red gloves, to Miranda’s black. Referee waves his hands and HERE we go with ten rounds of Flyweight action!

ROUND 1:
Lily fighting forward with speed, short bursts out of the gate as though she’s back in her prime. She takes Miranda by surprise with repeated blitzs to her arms, occasionally scoring on the face well enough to throw the i-Carly Disney starlet into complete disarray. Cosgrove just forced back into defensive turtling, her feet skidding across canvas as she covers up her head almost completely but allows Lily full access to the rest of her body instead. This is exactly what Collins wanted, pushing back her foe with aggressive force, possibly wanting to drop Miranda by the end of the first round to make a point as she slams her gloves into the hapless girl’s frame, then swings wide to the head. But Cosgrove doesn’t go down, to her credit, doesn’t score many points either as she concedes the first round utterly to the Vixen.

ROUND 2:
Lily tries for round 2, and almost gets her arse handed to her instead. She rushes straight for Cosgrove at the opening bell, shooting jabs in left-right flurries at the head, but doesn’t anticipate Cosgrove to hold her ground and BLAST her to the cheek! COSGROVE WANTS REVENGE (and possible redemption from all those pundits making fun of her big fat zero score), smacks another hook into Collins’ face to send her gasping to the side! Lily throws up her arm as a third swipe rattles her arms hard, practically turning her about on her feet as Miranda wins this melee contest! Cosgrove finally shows her cards, chases after Lily as she steadily hammers the lean girl backwards till the bell, with Collins too shattered mentally to launch any counterattack.

ROUND 3:
First two rounds are done and dusted, and we’re no closer to seeing a clear victor either way. Girls engage in curious back-and-forth ritual for the first minute, landing small victories to the face and body before getting the hell out of each other’s line-of-fire, each girl pushing the other back before she flies forward in a fury. Second minute and Lily catches Cosgrove on the ribs with a left smack, then a right followup’s taken on the stunned girl’s raised arm. Cosgrove winces and swings back with a hook of her own, but Collins ducks under and forces the clinch, which is rare for the Vixen to do. Ladies go backwards, pushing and shoving, arms wrapped around each other’s chests and neck as they use their bodies to gain ground. Referee’s seen enough, however, quickly separates them, and both ladies spend the remaining minute catching their breath, occasionally snagging the cheek with a couple of jabs from afar.

ROUND 4:
Lily’s trying to use every trick in the book to put her opponent down, but she’s realising she might have bitten off more than she can chew with Miranda so fired up for her very first win that she’s refusing to go down easy. Collins targets the brunette’s vulnerable midsection, blocking some attacks with her arms before chugging her own gloves in and low, round the side of the guard as she pummels Miranda’s body early. Cosgrove grunting, realising she’s getting pushed back again, the throbbing pain growing in her tiny frame. But she stands her ground in the last minute, lashing out at Collins’ cheek each time the Vixen dips low to throw more uppercuts into her tummy. Miranda’s doing more damage as the round winds down, cuffing another leather glove into the poor Brit’s face as Lily lets out a loud moan and goes stumbling to her left, following the momentum of the turn of her head. Cosgrove fans might see a miracle tonight indeed if this action keeps up, and Miranda herself is all smiles on her way back to corner.

ROUND 5:
We’re not sure how Miranda found herself in this nine-freakin’-fight losing streak, but those early losses to Ariana Grande and Victoria Justice must have stung back in 2013, and the Disney starlet may have never fully recovered from those early stumbles. Not as though Lily cares, of course, chewing through one Disney starlet a month not nearly enough to sustain the Vixen’s hunger. She shakes off the previous round’s lost and takes her offense nice and slow this time, circling around Cosgrove’s advance and then socking her hard with a straight hand to the lips. Collins not f*cking around no more as she methodically takes Miranda apart here... Cosgrove left in shock as she tries to rush the Vixen down, but Lily’s just faster and hitting harder, countering with jabs to the face or damning hook swung around the arms and smack hard into the body. Cosgrove red-faced and breathing hard as Lily performs a step-in cross, which NAILS Cosgrove clean on the nose! And perhaps she never stood a chance to stop a Brit out for blood! Miranda literally slammed down onto her back from the impact, her arms spread-eagled above her head as the referee starts his count!

Lily roars from her own KNOCKDOWN, pumping fists in the air on her way back to corner, whereas Miranda’s team is desperately shouting at their starlet to get the f*ck up. And to her credit, Cosgrove’s stirring slowly, her eyes still glued shut but she seems aware of her surroundings at least, grabbing onto the ropes and pulling her tired body back up by the count of 9. Collins heard growling in corner as the referee waves to resume. There’s still two minutes left on the clock and the Vixen intends to make full use of them!

Poor Cosgrove doesn’t look like she stands a chance at this point, still wavy on her feet as she barely puts up her hands for a defense. Lily swerves in like a monster truck eyeing the poor Suzuki on the tarmac, jamming fists into Miranda’s face without much resistance with her back to the ropes. Miranda’s head gets snapped back repeatedly, the rest of her body shuddering from each impact as Collins lands her punches clean to the nose and lips. Cosgrove lets out a cry, her back beginning to slide down the ropes, and the referee’s FINALLY seen enough, jumps in to cover her up! It’s all over!!

Official Decision: Lily Collins defeats Miranda Cosgrove via TKO5!

AFTER:
More bad news for Cosgrove as her losses extend to ten-in-a-row with this defeat tonight. The heartbroken actress merely pools by the side of the ropes, tears in her eyes as the rest of her team crowd into the ring to try and comfort her.

Lily of course having received plenty of criticism for pushing this fight, but rather than a few stumbles in the early rounds, we’d say she’s proven to have more than what it takes to put second and third-tiered fighters away in the FCBA. The only problem, of course, is doing the same to the top ladies like Vanessa Hudgens and the current Flyweight and AMD champion, Olivia Holt, whom she’s suffered at the hands of before.

Who knows where the Brit will choose to set her sights on next, but for now, she’s certainly cemented her place in her own stable.