Kelly Brook vs Kate Upton: Private Affair
(Written by Girls Friday (mostly) and Lookout!)

To say Kelly Brook and Kate Upton hate each other is an understatement; both women loathe the idea that the other even exists in the same universe as them, with both for the past several months trying to destroy the other in the boxing ring in a brutal series of fights.

They ended with Kate coming out on top to win the series and earn bragging rights over her bitter rival, ones she had used ever since as she told every news outlet about how she conquered the Moby dick of the celebrity boxing world and other let's say unflattering names.

Kelly meanwhile had been stewing ever since that defeat, sitting in her house watching TV and only going outside to do commitments that she had agree to before the fight, shows like Loose Women she normally enjoyed were hard when she had to tell her side of the fights with Kate while wearing shades to cover the black eyes she had from Upton.

But Kelly had revenge in mind when her anger seemed to finally overcome her sadness, she remembered as the holidays were happening that she'd challenged Kate to come over her home and fight her without the gloves.

At one of the last press conferences Kate and Kelly had exchanged phone numbers to show they were serious about fighting in private, so Kelly decided to remind Kate of the offer and wanted to see if she would take it.

When Kelly rung up Kate; she wanted to scream at her as the American bombshell told Kelly that she was shocked she had called, she expected Kelly to disappear up her own flabby ass was how she put it.

Back and forth the girls argued till Kelly laid out what she planned "look Kate, I saved that bottle of whiskey I got for my birthday, you and me alone in my home for the weekend, I am sure we can be civil enough to not kill each other, we fight and winner gets the bottle to celebrate with"

Kate calmed down enough to reply "I can't wait to come over there and whip you in your own home, it's a deal bytch"

Before hanging up; Kelly tells Kate "oh and bring a dress shirt, I wasn't joking that I'd fight you in something comfortable"

So Kate flew over to England and got directions from Kelly to head to her country house she was staying at, it wasn't massive as Kate expected but it still had two bedrooms and a large living space between those bedrooms.

Neither Kate or Kelly exactly smiled when they saw each other, the only words exchanged were Kelly showing Kate where she would be sleeping.

After Kate had settled in, both had agreed that they'd fight the next night so there was no excuses of Jet lag or anything else either to come up with.

It led to a tense night and morning, they mostly sat in silence with the TV on, their eyes mostly stayed locked on the other as they sat on seats opposite each other in pyjamas, almost willing the other to make a move as they sipped their tea, the only time they were close to friendly was when discussing what to eat but they were not long conversations.

Time seemed to drag for both, so as the sun started to set on fight night, Kelly got the bottle of whiskey and set it on the kitchen counter, Kate's eyes lit up as she knew that signalled the encounter was so near.

"OK bytch in half an hour I finally get to beat the crap out of you, so go get changed into what you brought and I'll put mine on!" Roared Kelly as Kate resisted the urge to charge her right now.

Instead they retired to their rooms and got changed, it seems stupid when both started to put on lipstick and paint their nails, but both wanted to look hotter then their rival, they needed to prove to the other that they were better in everything.

When the clock struck the hour mark and it's chime went off, both women left their rooms and entered the living room that now just had two seats in and a sofa as their battleground.

Both stood posing for the other with hands on hips in the classic power pose, both wore black knickers; with Kelly wearing a white shirt with the top buttons loose to show a little cleavage, Kate's was a light blue as she did the same with her proud chest.

No words were spoken as they just wanted to get at their rival, rushing across the room and grabbing the other by the hair as their bodies slapped together.

Almost as if they were dancing they started circling with each giving the other nasty tugs to the hair to make the other grunt but fight back screams.

The dance was broken up by loud slaps on body parts, left hand still stuck in hair as the right started to land hard blows to arms, bodies and bare legs to make the other wince. Both fighters careened around the house, knocking paintings off of the walls, putting the occasional dent in the plaster and almost crashing onto the couch at one point. The two of them remained upright for the moment, just furiously shoving and slapping. Neither of them were going to back down as their sweaty bods stuck to one another close as can be, thudding into one another with brawny blows as they winced and tried to bully each other backwards, attempting to prove who was the true ‘big girl’ in the house.

Neither would show too much emotion though as they didn't want to give the other the satisfaction of seeing their pain, instead nearly biting their lips as they got hit with thudding shots.

Till Kate surprised Kelly by putting her left leg behind her British rival and slamming her body into her, Kelly not noticing the leg was tripped onto her sofa, where Kate desperately tried to pin her down.

Instead Kelly was able to roll them off the chair to the rug with a bang, both let out a cry as they rubbed their arms and separated for the first time since the fight begun.

"F***ing bytch!" Yelled Kelly as she checked her hair and saw several strands on the floor, Kate replying "f*** you!" As she saw blonde strands of her own hair on the rug.

Getting to their knees; they lunged at each other and locked up in another hair pull, this time though Kelly and Kate bashed their legendary jugs together, throughout their feud they have claimed to have the better tits, well now both women were giving the other a taste of what they had to offer.

The shirts they wore offered some defence to their jugs, but they were wincing they boxed in close with their breasts, slamming them together in the close space before grinding them.

Kelly was getting sick of the stalemate forming, reaching around the back with her left hand, she gave Kate a wedgie with her knickers to make the powerful blonde howl to the rooftops.

That allowed Kelly to bash Kate back with her breasts to her delight, gloating with "you will always be a stupid weak cow!" Which got Kate fired up.

Landing an overhand slap to the ear of Kelly, it distracted the brunette enough for Kate to sneak her hands into the shirt and squeeze the crap out of Brooks jugs, making her howl like a wounded animal.

Kelly fought fire with fire as both women had tears in their eyes, foreheads touching as they almost looked to be pleading with the other to give to make the pain stop.

Fearing she might be losing the tit war, Kelly bit the lip of Kate; who shoved her back and shouted "what the f...!" But was interrupted by a slap across her cheek that turned her around.

Kelly pressed her advantage by shoving Kate face down onto the rug and started scrubbing that award winning face of Upton into the carpet, it would be interesting to see how she explained that to her husband.

Then Kelly's hands moved to tearing at the top of Kate, ripping the sleeves till Kate was able to get space by her wiggling and turned to kick Kelly in her gut to back her off.

Again the battlers parted to opposite chairs as if they were corners, their faces were reddened, sweat soaked the shirts they wore to their curvy bodies and they were starting to breath harder.

After taking a big breath they begun to rush on their knees back into battle, grabbing with their lefts the shirt while slapping the crap out the others face to loud cries of agony.

Soon they fell into a clinch, heads resting on shoulders as they told the other to give up, neither with an quit as they slowly used the other to start getting to their feet.

Once they were up to their feet; it was Kate who landed the first blow, a left handed slap wobbled Kelly back and it looked like this could be the final salvo needed to win this.

Kelly ended up being knocked onto her chair, with Kate ripping the buttons of her own shirt to expose her marked up boobs so she could keep her promise that she would smother out her bitter enemy.

Those sweaty jugs engulfed Kelly's face, it was as if she'd applied her finishing move to her rival, Kelly's arms were going wild as Kate whispered "sshhh baby, just go to sleep"

A deafening scream suddenly rung out around the house, Kate's eyes were full of tears as she arched her back and it soon become clear why.

Kelly had shown through this fight she'd do anything to win, well she had sneaked her hand into the knickers of Kate and was clawing her private area to freeze Upton.

After sucking in much needed air; Kelly topples Kate off her and rips open her own top to show her own jugs off, pinning Kate's arms above her head as she mounts her, Kelly says "as always you couldn't get the job done" with Kelly engulfing her enemies face now.

Kate was too weak from the low blow to fight back, though she tried valiantly. It was a desperate attempt, with her trying to pry Brook’s arms apart, slapping at her back and encircling her arms around her waist, trying to buck her off. This only seemed to lead towards her air being depleted even faster, resulting in her passing out after a last few weak attempts at bucking free from the situation. Kelly refused to let go, just putting all of her weight down on Upton as she cooed into Kate’s ear, making sure her voice was the last thing Kate heard before she passed out, “Hush little baby - your face belongs in my tits and you knew it would end here didn’t you, little girl? Your face and my tits are destined to be together…” Kate cursed violently, but was soon reduced to whimpering and crying, both muffled as she realized she was going to pass out and then silence. it took a few moments for Kelly to work out she had won but when she did she rolled off Kate to lay beside her.

The winner was glad she'd smothered out Upton, it meant that Kelly could sob as she felt her own boobs, she'd certainly felt this fight probably more then any other catfight she had ever had, though she wouldn't admit that to Kate.

Upton snoozed peacefully unaware at what had happened, Kelly used the sofa after crawling to it and got up so she could get her winnings, a glass of whiskey and after getting her phone, a selfie of her sitting on Kate's chest holding the glass of whiskey to her face with Kate asleep under her. Quite a few selfies took place while she enjoyed her place of victory, making sure to save them for Instagram, Twitter and other social media sites to humiliate Kate further in the future.

Kelly then slumped into her chair and drunk her glass as she watched with keen eyes her rival, who started to come to and had turned to her front to stare at the victor.

"You.... Cheated... Bytch" was all Kate could muster as she tried to find her strength and get to her feet, Kelly standing up and placing her foot on her back to shove her back down.

"All is fair in love and war bytch, especially with a c*** like you, just be thankful I don't toss you out in the cold" replied Kelly as she took her foot off of Kate and placed the glass down.

Reaching down she tore the shirt from Kate, leaving the blonde top less and telling her "this is mine now too bytch to go alongside your pride I own" Kate covered up her jugs with her arms and glared back at Kelly. Kate bit her bottom lip, glaring and blinking back tears, refusing to give her rival the satisfaction of seeing her cry. Instead, she focused those feelings on pure rage and determined hatred as she hugged her jugs tighter before deciding she could still show why she was the queen.

Kate pushed herself up to her feet and got in the face of Kelly, who took off her own shirt to stand topless too, getting into the others faces so their breasts were pressed together, they so badly wanted to go again but instead they knew they were too sore to do much, so retired to bed to rest up.

The next morning they were relieved to shower, soothing their bodies with both actually watching the other while nude, they were measuring each other up for another go but decided not to right now as they had other ideas for each other now.

After Kate had packed and had a light breakfast, they discussed what was on their minds, with Kelly laying it out there "look we both want to knock whose breasts are best bytch right?"

Kate nodded after taking a bite of cereal, replying "you're damn right, I am sick of all your talking, I want to make yours into the pancakes those flabby things deserve to be"

Kelly gritted her teeth and said "I'd love to slap the taste out of your mouth again too bytch but you have to fly soon, so all I need to know is are you going to titfight me someday?"

"Of course I will and I'll win!" answers Kate as both women nod, then Kelly fills two glasses with whiskey, not in a sign of friendship but one of agreement that they will duel next time with their most prized possessions - their breasts.

With Kate drinking up and heading off home with a mind full of revenge, while Kelly basks in the feel of winning this latest chapter between the women. When Kelly gets up the next morning, she is well rested, having spent the night dreaming of her win and of smothering her hated rival over and over again. But, she discovers that while she may have won the battle, Kate clearly wants to escalate the war as her own BBU JMDD titles are gone and there is NO question about who stole them.

In their place is a note:
 
“Kelly - your fugly udders may have smothered me out tonight, but we both know your tits are weak. You don’t deserve to have the title that goes with having the best jugs in the BBU. Your boobs simply aren’t worthy of that title, so I’m going to take the title so that they can hang out with somebody whose tits are more deserving. Me. If you want these titles back, then you can simply admit I have the better boobs and if you can’t tell the truth, then I’ll be happy to make you. Just like these titles, your tits would be mine in a titfight. Moo at me when you want to apologize or meet, cow.”

Kelly let out a primal scream, ripping the note up into tiny pieces and then storming for her cell phone to immediately call Upton to let her know EXACTLY what she thought of her offer and to remind her of how she just smothered her out. Fans of both girls can guess how that conversation went and will look forward to seeing where it leads next…