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31 July 2020 Gemma Arterton vs Joanne Kelly

Page history last edited by caspian2 3 years, 7 months ago

GIRLS OF SCI-FI AT THE ASYLUM III: SEASON OF THE WITCH

Posted by Boxing World Online on July 31, 2020 at 3:04am

BEFORE:

"Obviously, she's a top shelf, fighter," says Joanne with a nod. "And, so am I. So, let's do this!"

"She," says Gemma with a smile, "Is the kind of girl you want to test yourself against. And, I'm ready for the test."

ROUND ONE:

O'Dell: "Back and ringside and that's 'Shut Up and Dance' by Walk the Moon you hear behind us, and here comes Canadian beauty Joanne Kelly!"

McCarthy: "And, look at that! Kelly actually HAS FCBA wins and even fought for a title once! I think Weirdo has lost it!"

O'Dell: "Joanne wasting no time getting into the ring. She's helped off with the robe to reveal a black number and a body that's clearly been trained hard for this one. And, that's 'London Calling' by the Clash you hear, and that can only mean that 'The Gravesend Gladiator', Gemma Arterton, is on her way to the ring..."

Cassie: "Front Street's lightweight division is always crowded, and never moreso than now, with Perry and now Hill at the top along with Gemma. Gems needs a win tonight to keep up."

O'Dell: "Arterton into the ring and helped off with the robe by Jewel and Neve and she's looking VERY good in that violet number we've seen before. Ladies about ready. Time for some picks. Tess likes Gemma. Mac?"

McCarthy: "Kelly HAS FCBA wins. She'll WIN!"

O'Dell: "Cassie?"

Cassie: "I agree with Tess!"

O'Dell: "Here we go. Ladies getting to range right now to do some boxing and Gemma getting the better of it early. Gems backing up Joanne with hard shot to the head, stepping to, backing her up again. Kelly out of sorts early as Arterton's getting rolling right now, forcing the Canadian to the defensive."

Tess: "Joanne's looking a bit rusty right now."

O'Dell: "Is, indeed, and Gems taking advantage. She's very active, but staying sound, showing respect for the Canadian's power while continuing to back her up again and again. Joanne having trouble holding canvas right now, and, long term, that is not going to go well for her..."

Cassie: "Not against Arterton it isn't."

O'Dell: "Down the stretch in the first. Joanne starting to stabilize the front now, fire back with hard shot. Gems not going to force the issue. She's willing to stay and range, box with. Ten seconds left. Nice exchange right there. Both fighters landing, and there's the bell. Gemma. Wide."

ROUND TWO:

O'Dell: "Second begins the way the first ended, at range, but now Kelly starting to get going. She's shaken off any rust now and has got the hands working. She's getting punches put together and now tossing Gems onto the defensive here and there. Arterton boxing with, but getting the worst of it."

McCarthy: "As the PEOPLE'S Bantamweight Champion often says, the first round is often just for feeling things out and getting a good sweat going."

Cassie: "Didn't the 'People's' Bantamweight Champion get knocked out and have her bare posterior SPANKED in the middle of the ring?"

McCarthy: "Which just shows how CLASSLESS Kosarin is! Can you IMAGINE my embarrassment? My bare posterioration right there on display for the world to gawk at...both in the arena AND on pay-per-view!"

O'Dell: "Um...but...Mac...you...I mean...isn't...you've...your body..."

McCarthy: "What are you babbling about, O'Dell?"

Cassie: "I think Jenny is trying to point out that the entire world has seen every single inch of your body over and over again since you posed for 'Playboy' a half dozen times!"

McCarthy: "That's DIFFERENT!"

Tess: "HOW?"

McCarthy: "SHUT UP, WALMART!"

O'Dell: "Final seconds of the second. And, it's been quite a round IN the ring, too, for Joanne Kelly. Canadian getting the better of things as the ladies box at range. Good exchange there and that takes us to the bell. No doubt about it. Kelly gets the points and evens things at 19."

ROUND THREE:

O'Dell: "Third round and we're at gunnery range. Brunettes getting their respective boxes on. And, again, it's Joanne who's having the better of it. Kelly simply the busier of the two fighters at the moment. Both are scoring, but Joanne's getting more done because she's DOING more..."

McCarthy: "And, JUST to be clear, people have NOT seen every INCH of my body!"

Cassie: "Really?"

McCarthy: "That's right! Because, this thick, lustrous hair is REAL and no one has EVER seen my scalp!"

Tess: "You can't argue with that kind of logic..."

McCarthy: "You may finally be learning, Walmart! Don't argue logic with a logistician like ME!"

O'Dell: "Kelly continuing to control things as we head down the stretch. Arterton backed up now by a nice combination from Joanne. Canadian stepping to, getting a nice flurry off. Gems covering up and there's the bell. Another excellent round for Joanne, who's now taken the lead 29-28 after three."

ROUND FOUR:

O'Dell: "Pattern set. Both fighters like ranged boxing, and these are the terms they're going to work on. Arterton more active now, getting busier. That was her problem in the last two rounds, just not active enough, spending too much time on the defensive, and it cost her points..."

McCarthy: "Happens to fighters all the time. You want to be sound, so you wait for opportunities. But, you can get to the point where you spend too much time waiting."

O'Dell: "Gems not waiting now. She's getting off in combination, but so is Joanne. Result is a good two-way round with neither fighter able to grab control or create a lot of space as far as points go. It's also excellent boxing, the kind of stuff the purists have to love..."

Cassie: "Definitely been a good fight so far..."

O'Dell: "Final thirty. Sharp exchange and then another! Both fighters turning it up late, looking to grab the points. ANOTHER big trade and both land hard shot in it! Ten seconds to go. One more flurry from Gemma and there's the bell. Close. But, the points go to Arterton."

Tess: "And, we're even at 38."

ROUND FIVE:

O'Dell: "Back to work in the fifth with more ranged boxing. Both brunettes again working well on these terms, and, just like in the fourth, no one gaining much of an advantage. Kelly doing very well, it says here, hanging right in there with a top ten lightweight, showing she's still plenty good..."

Tess: "No doubt about it. Joanne's been impressive."

O'Dell: "Kelly a solid right hand there, backed Gems up a step. And, Joanne following up, throwing Arterton over to the defensive. Joanne a hard right to the head and DOWN GOES KELLY! Oh, out of NOWHERE comes a right hand from the Brit and Kelly's flat on her back!"

Cassie: "What a SHOT!"

O'Dell: "Gemma to a neutral corner. Joanne looking up at the referee as he counts down. Three. Four. Five. Kelly sitting up. Six. Joanne to her feet and seven and falls back to all fours! Eight. Nine. TEN! It's OVER! Canadian can't get off her hands and knees and it's OVER! And your winner by KO5 is 'The Gravesend Gladiator', Gemma Arterton!"

McCarthy: "Lucky punch!"

AFTER:

O'Dell: "Let's go up to the ring and Tess Valmore!"

Tess: "I have our winner, Gemma Arterton, and, Gems, that was a good fight..."

Gemma: "Knew it would be. Like I said, she can fight. She's beaten good fighters. You've got to be on your game. Fortunately, I was."

Tess (smiling): "My next question is usually 'What's next'..."

Gemma (smiling): "And you know how I'll answer. Whatever gets me closer to a shot at the belts."