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25 September 2020 Phoebe Cates vs Diane Lane

Page history last edited by caspian2 3 years, 6 months ago

OFFICIAL FCBA "SEPTEMBER TO REMEMBER" PPV

Posted by Lookout! Boxing on Sep 25, 2020 at 10:20am

PHOEBE CATES VS DIANE LANE

Retro Bout Ca. 1983

Results: Lookout Writing: Archer

Phoebe: B.1963, 5’7 (1.70 m)

Diane: B. 1965. 5’7 (1.70 m)

Celebrity Referee: Stefanie Powers

Before: “This one is a real treat for fans of 1980’s celebrity boxing,” reports celeb boxing scholar K.O. Kapowski. “The debut fights—near as I have been able to find out—of two of the 80’s favorite ingenues: Phoebe Cates (red bikini and all from FAST TIMES AT RIDGEMONT HIGH) and in the white bikini Diane Lane, at this point known for the teen drama THE OUTSIDERS. And if that wasn’t enough, we’ve got a sexy looking Stefanie Powers in black shorts and striped shirt as the ref. As you can see it’s on a beach, I assume somewhere in Southern California, you can only glimpse the crowd, but you can hear them so I presume they are VIP types. Now you the girls come out to meet Stefanie in the sandy ring. Phoebe’s got the black gloves and Diane dark green gloves. Look at how they stare at Stef, you can see they are awed by her sexiness at age 41, but Stef smiles and settles the rookies down. They listen intently to her instructions and awkwardly tap their mitts. (You can tell a young debuting fighter, all right). Then they go to their corners. The bell rings and just settle back and watch them go at it).

R1: Phoebe and Diane come charging out. This likely their first time boxing on sand and they look a bit uncertain as to their footing. However they do get close enough to each other to start slinging in the leather. Rookie stuff, too sweeping rights and lefts and stumbling off balance from trying to lunge on the sand. Yet there is an appealing determination in the two newcomers. They don’t seem afraid to take a punch and are eager to slug away even if their aim is not very accurate. They also get into too close again and again obliging Stefanie to push them apart. Things are actually pretty even until Phoebe lands her first really good punch of the afternoon, a right to the jaw that sends Diane careening into the ropes. Phoebe shows her rookiness by staring in awe at the sight instead of rushing over to add some more leather. Phoebe finally realizes she needs to do more than stands there and dashes over to pound away at Diane who covers her head and slithers along the ropes. Phoebe able to keep pounding, but she can’t seem to get Diane pinned. Then the bell rings. Phoebe and Diana trot back to their corners. Phoebe Cates wins a close round.

R2: Diane looking very serious during the break while Phoebe is chirping excitedly with her trainer. Bell sounds and Diane moves out and immediately you can she is aiming her shots. Phoebe gets smacked up to the face, taking a shot to the mouth and then has her cheekbones slapped around. Phoebe looking dazed, is slow to get her mitts up high and so Diane has the chance to do more damage to Phoebe’s face. All lumped up and bruised, Phoebe now has her gloves up and Diane shifts fire to Phoebe’s unguarded midsection. Phoebe driven back towards the ropes all bent over from Diane’s hooks to the ribs and belly. Phoebe does realize her danger and hastily grabs Diane in a bear hug of a clinch. Stefanie Powers pries them apart. Diane looking irked that Phoebe used the clinch to sneak in some socks to her side ribs. Diane comes at Phoebe with some wild swings at the brunette’s head that Phoebe easily dodges. Diane struggles to get her temper under control, but then time runs out. Diane immediately confronts Phoebe and pushes her down. Phoebe gets up in anger. Stefanie obliged to step in and calm the seething young women so that they go sullenly to their corners.

R3: The bell rings and Diane comes zipping out of her corner. Phoebe sees Diane coming and tries to blast her to the head. However Diane jumps to one side and Phoebe hits empty air. Then KA-BOOM! Big Diane Lane right clouts Phoebe Cates to the jaw sends her reeling across the sand. Diane hops after the stricken brunette, but Phoebe has shaken it off enough to get her mitts up. Diane goes after Phoebe to the stomach and rib cage, but this time she adds some vengeful shots into those red bikini top bra cups. Phoebe yelps indignantly and fires some jabs into Diane’s breasts. Diane strikes back, but she goes for Phoebe’s chin with an upper cut that sends the brunette stumbling backwards. Diane then pounds Phoebe towards the ropes with pretty heavy body punching that has Phoebe all hunched up and shuddering. Round ends before Diane can get Phoebe onto the ropes, but she looks pleased that she’s left Phoebe wide-eyed and achy.

R4: Diane out of her corner and swinging, but Phoebe driving her back with straight jabs into the face and chin. Diane and Phoebe circle each other. Then Diane comes forward with some solid hooks into Phoebe’s stomach. Phoebe bent forward and Diane smacks Phoebe upside the head with rights and lefts. Phoebe comes out of her crouch with a good right uppercut to the chin that rocks Diane. Phoebe goes for Diane’s head, but Diane ducks and clouts Phoebe to the chin. Phoebe falling back a couple of steps, but fires out the jab as Diane comes at her. The two then battle it out close. Once again, they keep locking up and Referee Stefanie powers has to push them apart. Diane keeps coming, but Phoebe is resisting much better. However Diane scores with the ol’ one-two left/right to the chin that causes Phoebe’s legs to quake. Diane tries to take advantage, but Phoebe protecting her head well and the bell sounds to end the round. Diane still looks in charge, but Phoebe has made this round a much closer stanza.

R5: Phoebe startles Diane (and onlookers) by rocketing out of her corner at the bell. In a couple of swift, bounding leas across the strands, Phoebe brings a crashing right to Diane’s jaw. Diane spins into the ropes and hits them chest first. Diane dazedly turns around, but Phoebe is there to blast her in the face with a furious close barrage of jabs. Diane’s face bashed up and she is forced against the ropes. Phoebe going for the chin and a possible KO, but Diane gets her mitts up to cover. Phoebe then goes at Diane’s torso like it’s a punching bag. Phoebe’s elbows churning in and out like pistons as she pounds Diane to the ribs, jugs and stomach. Diane writhing under this storm, but she has set her feet in the stand and is sitting on the ropes. Diane taking a fearful beating, but she doesn’t go down. Nearly three full minutes of torment to Diane Lane’s body, but Phoebe Cates can’t cut her down. Bell rings. Stefanie has to jump in because Phoebe’s not stopping her body busting. Diane staggering back to her corner all busted up and hurting. Phoebe looks frustrated at not being able to end the fight in this round. Phoebe obliged to settle for a none-the-less impressive shutout.

R6: Diane Lane’s corner crew works hard during the break, but she is very slow coming out at the start of the new round. Phoebe Cates looking full of eager energy as she heads for the clearly wounded Diane. Diane protecting her head against Phoebe’s initial head shots, so Phoebe goes to the body. Phoebe’s using punching volume over punching power to work over Diane to the torso. Diane all hunched up and struggling backwards in the sand. Then she stumbles as she nears the ropes. Instinctively, Diane sticks out a hand to catch herself against the ropes and in that moment, her chin is unguarded. Phoebe comes leaping off her feet with the right uppercut that connects with a loud CRACK. Diane lifted off her feet and nearly comes over the top rope! As Diane comes down she is BASHED with right/left combo to the jaw AND TIMBER! DOWN GOES DIANE LANE! Diane sprawls face down on the sand as Phoebe stands over her screaming: “I BEAT HER! I BEAT HER!”

“Not yet, honey, I got to count her out, get to the neutral corner,” Stefanie Powers tells her.

“Oh, yeah, that!” Phoebe says and scampers off to the assigned corner.

Rookie mistake allowing a down opponent more time by gloating over them, but this time Phoebe Cates gets away with it. Diane Lane’s been knocked loopy. She pushes herself to all fours but looks around with a stunned “Nobody Home” expression as Stefanie counts.

“SEVEN!...EIGHT!...NINE!....TEN!...YOU ARE OUTTTTT!!!” declares Stefanie Powers.

An announcer calls out: “THE WINNAH: PHOEBE CATES BY KNOCKOUT IN ROUND 6!”

After: Phoebe Cates shown smiling as Stefanie raises her arms. She goes to her corner and hugs her trainer and staff. Meanwhile a battered Diane Lane has to helped to her feet and led from the ring.

(“That was one heck of a debut fight!” K.O. Kapowski declares. “It sure looked like Diane had Phoebe’s number, but Cates was able to come back and nail Lane. Funny thing is, Diane Lane had the much longer celebrity boxing career. She participated in the early years of the FCBA, while Phoebe retired early. Not sure why, I guess she just didn’t enjoy the sport anymore. I have always thought Phoebe was a major might-have-been story. Still, she was plenty active in the Eighties and so was Diane Lane. It was great to see them at the very start of their boxing careers. And, it was a pleasant surprise to see Stefanie again. She made for one sexy referee, didn’t she?”)