Lucy Pinder vs Charlotte Church
(This Is Glamour vs Lioness Club)
(9-12, 9 KO vs 13-11, 13 KO)
JMD Value: 32H (Natural) vs 36C (Natural)
Results: BBU; Story: Vassago

BEFORE: Page 3 legend Lucy Pinder returns to JMD competition following an unsuccessful bid to strip Lacey Banghard off her golden bra last November: "I AM legend indeed, thanks for pointing out the obvious! I'm really due a big result again and no offense to Charlotte Church but she's just a fat cow that will be sucking my nipples once I blow her jugs into a saggy mess! She's sooo overrated I'm surprised I accepted her challenge! She's sooo out of her league tonight!"

"The only one out of her league is Lucy 'The Slut' Pinder!", Charlotte dismisses the brunette's comments and indicates she eyes a bigger target down the line: "JMD is actually fun but this isn't the Main Event for me this season! Hell, I want to destroy Ellie Goulding above all so when I learned she's on the PPV schedule I got after Lucy to book this fight! Lucy still puts butts in seats around this country and the Cardiff Arena is always ready for a Welsh talent like ME to join the show at the eleventh hour. Plus Imogen Thomas is still MIA after the beating she took from Gemma Merna so I simply HAD to step in and take over!"

Lucy Pinder wears a black bikini set with silver trim & red gloves. Long dark brown hair loose & straight. Charlotte Church wears a bikini set & green gloves. Shoulder lenght dyed blonde hair straight. The fight is scheduled for ten rounds in the bantamweight division. JMD rules apply.

Round 1:
Lucy rockets out of her stool to connect with the Welsh rack and finds plenty of success as Charlotte's gets glued to the spot and soaks up the high-octane uppercuts from point-blank range! Lucy barks in her early efforts and while she drills through the blonde's guard, she's unable to move her around the ring before Church clubs her with a vicious cross on the nose that forces a small break. Lucy is furious and stays focused on the singer's rack but gets picked off down the stretch as the local girl finds her groove and scores crisp shots from east & west to slow the glamour model down. She adds a belting hook on the liver area and makes Pinder think better off it; the P3 legend strays clear into mid-distance and that's a small victory for the Welsh faithful.

Round 2:
Another fast start from the English model who remains committed to her uppercut plan but Charlotte fends her off with an overhand double before dropping a bomb on the solar plexus. Ugh! Lucy's aggressive approach leaves her exposed to a counter-punching menace but a heated exchange during the opening minute brings little success as both women struggle for precision. Church carries a bit more core strenght according to Denise van Outen but Lucy is the more agile of the two and threatens to punish the liver area too much when she finally decides to go downstairs on the classical singer. Church tries to bully the brunette back to the ropes in vintage jug-to-jug contact but gets whacked on the solar plexus herself and Pinder cleans out shop with trademark uppercuts when she turns on the heat in the dying seconds.

Round 3:
Church has truly settled into a counter-punching plan as Pinder rides the uppercut wave to the point she lifts the blonde's boobs into her chin which always indicates a JMD job well done! The Cardiff audience begins to cheer a little louder now but their fave simply can't break free and succumbs to the phone booth pressure as Lucy yells out when she delivers the strikes! Ugh! And she goes over the edge when she buries a knee in the singer's crotch which triggers immediate reaction from the referee! Naughty! The Welsh crowd has gone all hostile on the Page 3 model but Lucy tells everyone to get over it! Charlotte is given a couple of minutes to recover and that was very generous indeed but she struggles to live with the brunette's attacks even after the command and gets thumped onto the ropes where Pinder secures the uppercut connection all the way until the clock expires! Nothing but jeers in the Cardiff Arena at the bell and Lucy twerks her 32H rack just to rub it a little extra!

Round 4:
Lucy's ready to smash Charlotte to pieces now but the singer maintains the mind over matter approach and blocks off most of the initial uppercuts before crashing another overhand on the jaw... Lucy gets vocal as she tries to out-jug the blonde back to the corner but gets drilled with an uppercut series on her own and staggers to the side while Charlotte rips a left cross on the solar plexus to make her yelp in pain. Lucy still tries to push off from her heels but meets a crunching hook on the boobs and bends onto the ropes where Church bashes her from both flanks and almost shoves out of the ring alltogether! Ugh! A wild Welsh attack neutralizes the glamour model into spasms alas Pinder simply can't escape the trap and fails to respond in a proper manner. Church almost head-butts her in the process but drops the hammer around the groin late and Lucy tries to sell it as illegal only for Church to BLAST her on the chin and SEND CRASHING DOWN ONTO THE SIDE just as the clock expires!!! Huh! That was almost too close for comfort and allthough Lucy shakes off the knockdown she is FURIOUS and claims she was hit below the waist. More jeers from the Welsh fans as Lucy argues her case during the interval.

Round 5:
Lucy would be better off focusing on the boxing job instead of shouting at the ref but Charlotte doesn't want to let her off the hook anymore and bursts through the high guard while the brunette anticipates another uppercut rally... both women punish each other in the proverbial phone booth and suddenly Pinder's left breast spills out into the public... no break for a wardrobe malfunction and the P3 girl just keeps going with her own drill as well but she takes the bigger hits as Church tags her on the windpipe and slows right down before an uppercut double half-spins the brunette to the side... she tries to push off again but the singer gets there first and DELIVERS THE JAW-BREAKER!!! Lucy gets smoked on the chin and flies back onto the ropes where she SLIDES ONTO HER BACKSIDE and collapses dead meat a couple of seconds later! Just like that and it's over! KO5 Charlotte Church!!!

AFTER: The Welsh pride in overdrive noise around the Cardiff Arena as Charlotte places her foot on the fallen opponent's hip and demands Lucy to be dragged topless around the ring! "We're taking this bytch home, folks!". Lucy appears to be half-conscious at this stage and doesn't react when Lioness members Alex Curran and Sophie Howard render her braless and literally sweep the canvas with her luscious body. 

Denise van Outen is worried the poor Hampshire lass has suffered a jaw injury during that final stretch in the fifth but Charlotte just facesits the last ounce of reality out of her when she uses Lucy's face & torso as couch for the next couple of minutes: "Great, we're done with this slut now! She got what she deserved after that illegal blow! Thank God Doda's dancers are still in town so they're gonna work her right over in the hotel! But I'm really interested whether Ellie Goulding took notice! She's not qualified for JMD at all but I can break her jaw anytime she wants to! How about it, bytch!? Don't use this lousy Rita Ora tramp as excuse! I'm comin' to get ya!"

Final Result: Charlotte Church def. Lucy Pinder KO5.