For fans of the Ice Hotel, Santa-Kini and either fighter, I apologize for the delay which is due entirely to technical difficulties and not due to the fine management at Foxfire. So, without further ado, I hope you enjoy the epic battle ahead between...
Kate Upton versus Mary Elizabeth Winstead
Queen of the Ice Hotel / Santa-Kini Bout
(Words: Archer & Lookout! / Results: Lookout!)
Kate: 28 YO, 5’10, (1.78 m) ((81-24-0, 80 KO since 2011), Lookout Boxing
Mary: 36 YO, 5’8 (1.73 m), (60-50-0, 54 KO since 2007), Foxfire Boxing
Before: “I never expected that my Santa-Kini and I would be fighting in the Ice Hotel,” Mary says to the press just before entering the arena. “I have to thank Katie for giving me this chance to stuff her bikini full of snow and all the other fun things Ice Queens get to do to the losers.”
Haughty Katie replies: “I regret that I have never fought you before Mary. Not sure how that happened, but I wanted to be able your name to the list of my Defeated Opponents. You may not be the most successful Lightweight around, but you are certainly one of the most active. I couldn’t say I had a complete career until I had beaten Winnie Winstead. And that ass of yours will look good sticking out of a snowbank.”
“My ass always looks good, but so will yours,” Mary replies. “And your ego could use some cooling off.”
“It won’t be cooled off by you,” Kate assured her.
“We’ll just see about that!” sniffed Mary.
The two fighters then went to make their separate entrances. Mary was wearing a red silk robe with a white faux furred hood. She removed the robe and entered in ring in a red bikini with white fur trim. Her gloves and boots were red with white laces. Mary’s bobbed hair was loose
Then the Defending Queen of the Hotel made her entrance. Kate was wearing a green silk robe with white faux fur trim around the hood. She removed the robe to reveal a green bikini with white faux fur trim. She wore white boots and gloves with green laces. Her hair was pulled back in battle braid with interwoven red and green ribbon.
As they stood in the ring waiting the referee to begin his instructions, Mary whispered:
“Nice Santa-kini.”
“Of course it is, I’m wearing it,” Kate replied and Mary rolled her eyes.
“It is going to be such a pleasure to bring you down,” Mary said.
“It’s been tried by better fighters than you and they couldn’t do it. Get ready to find that out for yourself,” Kate retorted.
“Ladies,” the referee interjected, “I hare to interrupt, but there is supposed to be a boxing match here tonight. What do you say we get to it?
Mary and Kate smiled. “We’ll be good—for now,” Mary said and Kate nodded.
And the ring instructions did proceed smoothly. The red gloves tapped the white globes and the two Santa-kini clad fighters adjourned to their corners. Then bell rang...
R1: Mary: left hand down, right at chest; wide stance - limber pivots and slide-steps moving Winstead in supple clockwise arcs. Upton: dukes up; chin tucked; elbows in; head a-bobbin' as she weaves her way forward in crouch. All Mary being pretty and slick - lifting the backhand up-jab off her hip to spank at Kate's guard; whip-licking the left uppercut to Kate's chin while executing pivot-left around the lead foot; rolling her torso to the right with Kate's sledgehammer rights, then coming back the licking right uppercut to blonde breasts or chin. Winstead dictating all terms - the distance, tempo, and location as brunette touches her blonde up at midring.
R2: Same dispositions, similar effects: Kate pushing forward only to be poked, licked, cuffed, sidestepped and turned. Midway through especially dangerous for blonde-girl: Mary rolling-right with Kate's right, then answering a snappy right uppercut to chin/left hook to right eye combo...Kate punched onto her heels, momentarily wobbly-butt. Mary loping in, letting her hands go in lashing, lanky flurries...brunette treats herself to brawny blonde flanks as Kate crouches, covers and takes a licking. Bell: Mary's long lashed eyes seek out Kate's wincing gaze...challenger hurting the champ, rolling out to a tasty lead in early going.
R3: Kate adjusts...not just weaving her way forward - issuing the stubby-jab to occupy Mary’s attention. Jabbed, Winstead forms earmuff midring, giving up her waist/flanks to Kate's rowdy right/lefts. Blonde bullying brunette to ropes - Kate bobbing on the spot, top of her head scrubbing Mary's jugs, Kate's hands stacked right atop left at her tummy...then it's clobberin' time. Kate slugging out of the bob - cuffing right/left to Mary's tummy - bobbing on the spot - then clouting Mary right/left upside the head. Short, swatting work from Kate: she's keeping elbows close to her hips, just whirling the mitts at Mary. Bell: Winstead mouth breathing, looking a little wide-eyed...Upton stomping back to her corner all business.
R4: Kate hounding Mary to ropes, then getting back to work. Bob-and-slug routines from Upton pounding at slender brunette arms; humbling world class breasts; buffetting the head; clouting the face; digging up flat, supple tummy. Rough going for Mary: hair in her eyes, teeth bared - she's got Kate's head and shoulders constantly rubbing and bumping on her, and when she tries to spin out from under, blonde-girl's not shy about pushing in with either elbow. Bell: Upton pushes up off Mary all "I'm big": Winstead wincing, hugging her body - fight's not just even in rounds, it's even in minutes-won after 4.
R5: War. Winstead planting in wide stance, leaning weight onto left (front) foot and lick-lashing rights and lefts onto Kate as blonde girl crouches/covers up. Upton spanked upon her flanks, but timing receipts like a champ: she'll answer ringing hooks or right hands after Mary's had her say, clouting brunette upon the chops, leaving her spellbound for a moment, the limber arms loose and low. Mary will shake off the shock, get back into Kate with a slinging right to gut and a whippy left across the hip/back...then Kate will bang back, landing a high percentage of surprising shots from the crouch. Epic ebb-and-flow - both girls having their moments in the sun, placing the other in the shade. Bell: Mary's nudging with an extended chickenwinged left elbow, then clouting Kate a swatting right across the mouth: Upton answers over the top via looping right before ref intervenes.
R6: Girls hot and sweaty, determined to slug. Winstead long and lean in her stance - tilting forward while thrashing her arms at Kate, beating blonde fireplug flanks and back as champ crouches. Upton absorbing the wailing, then answering back - proving uncannily accurate with head punches repeatedly startling Winstead as she's caught over and over again with hands low. Crowd oohing and ahhing as Mary takes one haymaker after another and remains standing...bendy lass proving durable as a willow-tree in a wind-storm.
R7: Bitter fighting continues as girls descend into slugging madness. At one point, Kate backed up butt-in-ropes, stunned as Mary's rolling sleek shoulders to churn rolling right/left uppercuts underneath - the small mitts beating at blonde-girl's meaty breadbasket and breasts. Another time sees Mary reel away from a looping hook on the chops...brunette hands down around her hips as she stumbles to her right with a dazed expression. Kate frequently baited into roaring forward, only to munch on a limber right uppercut hoisted up from Mary's thigh...it's just back and forth slobberknocking between two hungry beauties. Bell: Mary's wobbly butt, slugging; Kate's wobbly butt, slugging - everybody's hurt, nobody's willing to take a step back as crowd roars.
R8: Mary weight on left leg, dipping the left shoulder to crank in a lanky left to blonde gut; then doubling it to tits; then tripling it with a return visit to ribs. PIK! PAK! PEK! impact bunches Kate up, but she walks through it: challenger forced to ropes by willful champion. Top of Kate's head bullies Mary's jugs as blonde girl bobs on the spot. Short, swiping right/lefts snatch at Mary's breadbasket, bunching her up hurt. Clouting right/left swats upside the head punch Mary dizzy, loosen up her guard. Winstead slowing, breaking down, her hands dropping...by the midway point she's stooping forward off the ropes, hands loose at her waist - she's taking clean punches, answering back with punches hoisted up into her tormentress. Upton shrugging off Mary's work, pouring the pressure to sturdy brunette: bashing, sledgehammer blows start to warp and shake Mary - her defenses breaking apart before our very eyes. Crowd shouting every time Kate kisses a crashing right off Winstead's chin...brunette's head wobbling/lolling after impact...the eyes dimming...the receipts fewer in frequency. Too much Kate: three angry sidearm rights beat at Mary's left shoulder and lats, spilling her awkwardly into the Lookout corner. Winstead helpless, right hand stacked atop left at her midsection as she sags against turnbuckle and OH: Kate cracks her a right hand to chin. Head-swivel Mary...she topples face-first to her right, body parallel to ropes - landing on her hands and rolling onto her back at the apron. Upton exulting in the sight as she smirks and that's it: KO8 Kate Upton in blunt fashion.
THE WINNER AND STILL QUEEN OF THE ICE HOTEL: KATE UPTON BY KO IN RD 8
Eager Ice Hotel fans wait impatiently with Kate, who paces in front of the Lookout corner in her green hooded robe. She watches as Mary is helped to the Foxfire corner to be checked out. Mary is soon revived and once the medical staff clear her, Mary herself waves Kate in.
“OK, Kate show me what you got!” She calls out defiantly.
Kate scowls, she’s not used to being upstaged in such situations, she marches across the ring to Mary and gives her a big, bad girl slap across the face.
“Don’t talk back to me, loser!” Kate commands before Mary can protest this rude treatment.
The next thing, Mary knows, Kate has a her right arm behind her back in a hammerlock and she is pushing Mary out of the ring towards the conveniently placed exit to the outdoors. Kate pushes the door open and it is cold, windy night with lots of snow falling. Mary can’t help but shudder as the frigid wind hits her barely clad body.
“ITTTT----SSS----AAAA—L---O----TTTT C-C-COLDER TH—TH—AN---I—EX—EX—P—P__ECT---EDDDD,” Mary groaned her teeth chattering.
“Oh, I think this is just great,” said Kate and paused by a large snowbank. She quickly filled Mary’s bikini top and bottom with snow. Mary could not help but gasp and shiver
“Now for the best part,” Kate said and shoved Mary face first into the powdery snow bank. Mary’s red bikinied buns were on delightful display as her legs kicked wildly, but uselessly. Kate then pulled her out. Then she hoisted her up and body slammed her butt-first into the snow. Mary sank down up her head in the snowbank and a flunky who had followed them out handed Kate a Santa cap which she placed on Mary’s head. Then the flunky took photos of Kate standing next to miserable looking Mary buried up to her Santa capped head in the soft snow
“GETTTT MEEEE OUTTTTAAAA HEREEEEE! I’MMMM FREEEZZZINNGGG!” Mary moaned.
“You do look a tad chilly down there. Get her out!” Kate commanded the flunky who obeyed at once.
“Ah, here is my limo. Well, I must be going, Thank you for an most interesting bout,” Kate said climbing into the limo with the flunky.
“Bytch!” Mary cried, but Kate laughed and slammed the limo door which sped away leaving Mary standing there wondering how long hypothermia would take to set in,
Fortunately, a moment later, another limo appeared and out popped Beth Harnois, the Foxfire Communications Director. She threw a warm heavy coat around the shivering Mary and bundled her into the limo.
“Tough luck, Mary,” Beth said as the limo started up.
“I’ll get her next time—whenever that is,” Mary vowed. “Kate Upton hasn’t heard the last of Mary Winstead!” |
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