New Year‘s Eve – Celebrity Boxing After Dark (CBAD)

"Boxing by the Fireplace"

AMANDA RIGHETTI (37 y/o, 5 ft 8, W: 106, L: 32) vs PAULA PATTON (44 y/o, 5 ft 7, W: 17, L: 25)

Results: Lookout!, Writing: Bonzo

Before: It‘s not like welter girls no longer respect Paula Patton – they do, but the top girls just keep kicking her butt! Patton‘s still a lean, mean, ruggedly muscular fighter, but results just haven‘t been coming for the unmanaged free agent. She‘s lost all of her fights this year, except for Katherine Heigl who‘s a shadow of her former self, but mostly to steady and solid competition, including top welters Hilary Rhoda and Hannah Ferguson. She‘s kept her rugged athleticism, the muscled look, pretty much defying her age at will – after eight years, her knockout of Amanda Righetti‘s still one of the biggest, most brutal upsets in FCBA history, and Paula‘s claim to long-time welter glory. Let Paula Patton herself explain the moment to you, again:

“Okay – I will take yout through this, guys! This right hand beat Amanda‘s face to a friggin‘ pulp back in 2012“, Paula snarls during her pre-fight interview, arms flexed, attempting to grin a little devilishly. “She‘s never been more helpless in a fight, guys, and you‘re delusional if you think I can‘t do it again!“, she adds.

“This ain‘t Groundhog Day,“ Righetti explains. “Paula‘s trying to recreate that moment again and again – it‘s not going to work, girl. I‘m not saying Paula didn‘t beat me fair and square – but I‘ve made all the adjustments. I‘ve read, studied her, got in her head – and I‘ve kicked her butt ever since. That‘s what makes me a champion, guys – I‘m only coming back stronger, harder, more dangerous after disappointments! If I need to put her back to sleep – I‘m just going to do it.“

Fight night attire: Girls set up to fight at a fireside ring, flames crackling in the background, as snowy, winterly landscape adorn the poster walls around – the audience‘s only a handful of special guests seated in armchairs around the ring to watch. Amanda‘s clad in a silver-white fur bra, white fur bikini bottoms, her luscious auburn hair loosely tied behind her ears – Paula‘s sporting regular black boxing trunks, leather bra, her black hair loose, curvy.

Fight:R1: Girls criss-cross the ring early in hard, tacking pivots around each other‘s frames, aggressively stepping into each other, just as we expected from ‘em – short, quick shots landing bam-bam. Patton‘s trying out her thing: a flat-footed stance, legs wide apart, she‘s working everything from her mobile, bendy hips, leaning in/out, using a rush of attacks – she‘s trying to throw those crazy, looping overhand right hands all the way over Righetti‘s driving tik-tok jabs! Righetti sets up all nice n‘ tight behind her brawny, prepared defenses – a short, tight guard, alert head-tacks, little shoulder dips, torso-rolls, fast step-outs to the sides. Shots toss n‘ swing for Amanda‘s jaw, cheeks, both ears, as Paula‘s a-rushin‘, bobbing, swinging her shots for glory – Righetti‘s working on her heels/toes, resolutely poking back short, crisp jabs/counter hooks upside Paula‘s temple/forehead, slanting counter right hand shots down to Patton‘s well-built breadbasket/meaty jugs. Righetti‘s being sharp, alert here, well aware of Paula‘s immense threat – her jab‘s on high duty, and CRISP counter shots land lean, mean to Paula‘s biceps/neck/guard! 

Down the stretch – Righetti‘s rushing into the offense!

‘Manda‘s been pretty cautious so far, mostly taking side-steps around Paula‘s flanks, nicely pre-empting her brunette opponent via tall, crisp jabs/blunt right hands that brush up on a startled brunette, just as Patton‘s stepping in to rush her right hands like crazy. Now, a short right hand SLANTS down all mean to Patton‘s jugline, immediately putting her wobbly-butt, as precious air‘s sucked out of Paula‘s lungs – a left uppercut belts to Paula‘s right ear/cheek, putting baby-steps into those strong legs. A quick step-to from Righetti – a short jab to the jugs, a right hand to her mouth/jaw! Paula‘s immediately clobbered, hurt – she‘s sinking back to the cables, mouth open, lips parted in a bit of shock, as her hair‘s already coming loose, sexily tousled apart after ROUGH first round!

Break: Righetti‘s all business on her way to corner – there‘s only a sly grin, as Paula‘s stutter-stepping early on way to corner/break, already feeling *plenty* of redhead power.

R2: Girls exchange slapshot straights n‘ jabs mid-ring – short, staggering shots directed to opposite lungs, jugs, heart, as girls rush, jump close, start to rip ‘em. Action‘s close and intense, as Paula, Amanda brush back-to-back shots off each other‘s frame, hoping to see some stagger or wilt in the other girl‘s steps! Patton‘s making adjustments, as her booming rush shots to jaw just didn‘t get Righetti‘s respect last round out – she takes her foot off the gas a bit, sliding to the sides more, working with the ropes/corners – where she‘s trying to clip Righetti the odd, harsh counter hook, when Amanda‘s rushing in via her jab/right cross, attempting to reverse the attack/counter game!

About a minute into the action, Paula‘s plan‘s at work: Patton lures a stalking, jabbing Big Rigs to the ropes, slowly falling off the redhead‘s pace – she‘s showing blinks, staggers, grimaces. Right hook, Paula! Righetti leans in to CRASH her the lefty uppercut – Paula shifts, erupts, brushes the righty hook off Amanda‘a lower left jawline, instantly putting Big Red a little wobbly-butt! Righetti‘s sporting a frown, throwing jabs off her left shoulder, back-pedalling, as her thighs/knees skew a bit, and strong legs try to deal with the shot‘s impact – Paula‘s suddenly grins, showing aggressive hops, steps, ripping short, POPPING hooks to redhead‘s tummy/ribs from a crouch. Righetti‘s defense‘s well-placed, still brawny – she‘s taking side-to-side dips, as Patton‘s stepping close, clobbering away upside ears/skull.

Down the stretch – Paula‘s workin‘ it, big time. Rugged, muscular Patton steps in via jabs/hooks to Amanda‘s rack/ribs, then clubbing short, vicious right hand SMITES across redhead skull/biceps – Righetti shuttles left/right, trying to bob n‘ weave against the shots, her arms crossed, laying back against the cables brawny.

Bell, and break – Paula‘s grinning, exchanging a high five with her coach, as her determined plan to back up Big Rigs via clubbing power‘s finally materializing through 2.

R3: Echoes of 2012 – Paula‘s in control!

Patton‘s really aggressive from the bell, trying to stomp her own jab past Amanda‘s, step it hard into redhead breasts, shoulders – she‘s going hard n‘ heavy in true Patton-style. Girls circle early, triggering each other‘s jabs, STRONG right hands off the pivots, then just letting them hands go freely, wildly – Paula‘s really setting her hips/legs there, trying to answer every friggin‘ blast, trying to shrug short, BLUNT right hands to Righetti‘s face/jugs! There‘s the short right, Paula! A nice, staggering shot belts home upside Righetti‘s eyebrows, toggles her head and totters her hard-a-starboard – redhead‘s strong, meaty legs tripple, as ‘Manda‘s stepping out hectically, trying to right, erect back up! Paula grins, snarls, sets up a stiff, steady pursuit – healthy two-handed shoves to breasts/shoulders make Righetti‘s buttocks ring out in trembles, slosh her back against the cables, set her up for more drubbin‘, clubbin‘ shots. ‘Manda‘s alert, awake, though – she‘s still pulling down Patton‘s wrists/elbows, crossing her arms on the spot, still trying to weave in n‘ wrap up around Patton‘s heavy, muscular flanks.

Second, third minute – Patton‘s thudding, athletic rhythms belt, clobber away on redhead.

Righetti‘s stepping away, back-pedalling, getting a little too leggy here, forcing her to lean out and away, as Paula‘s hammer jabs, blunt impact right hands search for heart, jugs, chin! Patton pretty rhythmic, patient here – short, shrug shots to opposite biceps/muscles, as Righetti‘s staying on the spot, working the ropes. Almost down the stretch – Paula‘s now trying to set up the glory finish, as Amanda‘s stepping out all mouth-breathing, hurt, a little on the loose. Short left uppercut, Big Red! Paula snarling, just belting a left hand upside Righetti‘s forehead – a cute lil‘ dip n‘ roll finally gets Righetti‘s counter to work, spanking off Patton‘s outraged, blushing cheeks right before bell, putting a stagger in strong brunette legs, and *stealing* just a little bit of Paula‘s thunder late!

Girls take the swagger back to respective corners during break – they exchange a short, steely glance of competitive fire, not holding back hatred, fight lust right after the bell!

R4: Girls continue to step close, shoot and fire away mid-ring – short, pounding shots to opposite face/biceps/rack, as girls try to take command of the ring, batter back their foe into compliance.

Paula vicious, aggressive through early trade, pivots, but rushing things a bit – a long, double jab‘s too rangy/long, missing Righetti‘s chest, and a determined righty haymaker sails just past redhead‘s ear. ‘Manda‘s arching up from her crouch, landing her counter snug from the ropes – long left hook to Paula‘s jaw, short right hand to her (left) ear! Solid impact quavers slowly down Patton‘s strong, oh-so-meaty thighs – she‘s stunned, trying to fall forward into a clinch around redhead flanks! Righetti‘s alert, takes a slight shift-right, burying a DRIVING short left body uppercut to Paula‘s paunch/abs, before Patton‘s able to fall in/tie up. Righetti firms up, resists – bulls back Paula to ropes, as girls‘s thighs quiver under strain, weight. Ref‘s break – a short pitch jab from Amanda‘s left shoulder lands first, chipping right past Paula‘s right eye, bothering her into queasy, alarmed side-steps.

Mid-round work – Righetti‘s starting to get comfortable, wieldy via her axe jab, those strong, leggy pivots around Paula‘s right flank, landing lots of FLAT, pounding outside work, as her left hand‘s starting to dictate, hurt Patton again. Paula‘s still trying to rally, but slowly falling off faster redhead pace – she‘s shaking her hands out, legs hopping to ropes, corners. Big Rigs so strong, muscular: her left jab‘s poke‘s beating Patton into a standstill, thudding her, JOLTING her into wide-eyed shocks – just lots of no-nonsense heft, smack applied to Paula‘s jugs, pretty face. Patton‘s in back-pedals, trying to stay right, low – she‘s then hoping to rise out of the crouch, and erupt all big. Amanda‘s being prepared, alert, though: sound leg movement, solid head tacks – quick, PULVERIZING counters, attacks against Patton‘s stolid attempts to find the off switch, leaving *her* open-mouthed and in stupor instead!

Down the stretch – Paula‘s being mopy, as her fire, aggression fade a bit. Righetti‘s able to step into dangerous combinations for Paula‘s legs, heart – the long, rhythmic jab, the muscular right cross, the snapping left hook! Patton‘s broken down in lil‘ bits and pieces, just fighting via earmuff or peek-a-boo looks, as guard‘s tight, queasy – slowly her butt‘s driven more into corners/ropes, just getting shellacked left, right.

R5: Paula‘s still muscular, but sullen, disgruntled – she‘s fighting with crossed arms, taking bobs on the spot, trying to lean into Amanda‘s jabs, hurt her via the erupting righty haymakers, crosses.

Righetti setting rhythm, pace – the jab‘s sucking Patton into range (tits, neck, or stooped low to ribs), as short right hands rotate left/right (biceps, temple). Paula‘s numbed, dazed by sudden, slap-bang onslaughts of repeat shots to skull/heart, skull/heart – Righetti‘s tempo‘s murderous, as jabs keep quick, and right hand combinations stay heavy, always right in Patton‘s face/body, so sturdy n‘ steady! Throughout first minute, Paula‘s increasingly trying to tie up, using her rugged, muscular physicality to stop Righetti‘s surge, make her strain against Patton‘s meaty thighs, sturdy shoulders – ‘Manda‘s taking the brunette‘s heft pretty well, always staying calm, patient, allowing Paula to bull her a few steps back, then firms up hard for ref‘s breaks, holding her canvas, as Patton‘s huffin‘, puffin‘, slowly powering out.

Second minute – Paula‘s stubborn, but helpless, as rushes, surges go empty, slowly fade.

Sudden bobs n‘ weaves walk Patton in through the middle, and right into Righetti‘s grinding poke machine – Paula‘s actually getting in some heavy shells upon redhead‘s head/shoulders, too, as girls jostle and step close to compete in hand-to-hand fashion, but she‘s out-punched, taking more than she‘s giving, as Amanda‘s using better angles, defending her better position, frustrating Paula, battering her into a stupor! At one point, it‘s all just too much for proud, muscular Paula – she steps out back with a groan, trying to shift away from the intense, inside toe-to-toe! Righetti‘s eyes widen, as redhead‘s just grim, heartless – she‘s taking blunt, knock-knock shots upon Paula‘s shoulders/head on the spot, repeat, repeat, and repeat, repeat, as Paula‘s covered up, passive, frozen to take more n‘ more hurt! Short left/right hammers, uppercuts land, land, and land, land: Paula‘s guard‘s in a full wilt – she‘s finally taking a step out right, as her knees first soften, then kink, SPRAWL HER OUT FRIGGIN‘ PROSTRATE!

That‘s it – Paula getting shelled, numbed, SUDDENLY just bludgeoned into a slumber. Righetti steps out, her left fist raised high, a COCKY, confident smile on her pretty face, as Patton‘s all out, her broad, muscular back a sight to behold, but showing no signs of stir – that‘s a KO5 Amanda Righetti!

After: Paula slowly helped up, as the strong, muscular brunette‘s now just a sniveling beauty pounded out into a state of long, uncomprehending daze. Righetti‘s pretty terse, brusque with her foe – there‘s just a quick shoulder pat, hand shake to check out Patton‘s all right. “Paula‘s still built so massive, big – you really gotta put in the work, man“, she says after the fight, a towel wrapped around her brawny shoulders. “She‘s just a one hit wonder against me – I‘ve broken her! And that‘s what happens to all the girls who challenge my superiority – Kate Upton should take a good look at Paula and Bridget, because it‘s *exactly* what‘s comin‘ for her, too“, she shrugs with a smile.

(Hope you enjoyed the show - happy new year from Amanda Righetti and Bonzo's Gym...)